A resident of Trail in British Columbia called police on Sept. 8 to complain of a man wearing camouflage pants, which he believed to be a violation of some rule, the Toronto Sun reported. The caller, 27, said he was "offended on behalf of the military" and requested that an officer find the man and remove his pants. When the officer said he could not do that, the caller said he would remove the man's pants himself "under order of (the) king of England." The local Royal Canadian Mounted Police did look for the camouflage wearer, presumably to warn him about the caller, but -- surprise! -- couldn't find him. [Toronto Sun, 9/13/2023]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

After the long-awaited capture of escaped fugitive Danelo Cavalcante on Sept. 13, Pennsylvania State Police Lt. Col. George Bivens held a press conference to share the details of the arrest, Huff Post reported. One attendant, a podcaster named Michael Rainey, gets the prize for the most bizarre question posed to Bivens: "Was there any concern he (Cavalcante) would team up with another small man to step inside of a trench coat, 'Little Rascals'-style?" What? On X, Rainey said he "knew no one else would ask the questions that needed to be asked. Also, they were very polite in asking me to leave." Bivens shot a curt "No" back to Rainey's question before the podcaster was encouraged to hit the exit. [Huff Post, 9/13/2023]

Awesome!

Pedro Carvalho, CEO of Destilaria Levira, a wine distillery in Levira, Portugal, assured citizens that the 600,000 gallons of red wine that spilled from the facility on Sept. 10 and covered the city's streets would not leave a lingering smell because it was "good quality wine." The New York Times reported that one tank collapsed because of a "structural failure," knocking over another tank. The distillery promised to "take full responsibility for the costs associated with damage cleanup and repair," which included one basement that was flooded. Firefighters collected some of the wine and removed it to a wastewater treatment plant. [NY Times, 9/12/2023]

Irony

Sure, if you work for the Walt Disney Co., you expect to have mice all around you on the daily. But at the company's headquarters in New York City, advertising staffers on the fifth floor were advised on Sept. 11 to clear out "immediately" because the building was infested with the happy little rodents (oh, and also, fleas), the New York Post's PageSix reported. "Risk management and facilities teams are aware of these issues and working to quickly resolve them," the email to personnel said. One source said the existing building is set to be demolished and "there's no incentive for upkeep. At any given time, most of the elevators are broken." Sounds like a fairy-tale job. [PageSix, 9/12/2023]

Bright Idea

Police in Wiltshire, England, were called out on Sept. 12 when a neighbor spotted a grisly scene by the side of the road -- an arm and two bloody feet hanging out of a garbage bin. Wiltshire Live reported that as officers scoured other nearby trash cans, one resident alerted them that the body parts were fake and he had placed them in a neighbor's bin as a prank. "It's just a practical joke that got out of hand," he said. "I've put them in a bag so they can't be seen now." Save it for Halloween, chap. [Wiltshire Live, 9/14/2023]

It's Come to This

Rock climbers in British Columbia's Squamish area, north of Vancouver, have a new convenience available to them: Waste Alleviating Gel (WAG) bag stations. Yep, they're poop bags for humans. The CBC reported that after an "explosion in the usage of our backcountry areas ... increasingly we are finding that there are issues with human waste, particularly in our more remote crags (cliffs with climbing routes)," according to Ben Webster, chair of Squamish Access Society. Katy Holm, an owner of a store called Climb On, called the bags "totally robust. You don't have to fear that it's going to explode or anything." Well, that's a relief! [CBC, 9/12/2023]

What's in a Name?

We'll keep this short: Michael Gordon Dick, 61, of Beaverton, Oregon, was sentenced on Sept. 11 to 90 months in prison following his guilty plea for felony public indecency, KPTV reported. Dick was arrested last year after someone reported him standing on a bench in a backyard, naked from the waist down and looking into neighbors' backyards. He was on probation for the same crime when the incident took place. [KPTV, 9/11/2023]

Attention, Tourists!

Looking for something else to do in Washington, D.C., besides endless monuments and galleries? Check out the Museum of Failure, WUSA-TV suggested. The brainchild of Dr. Samuel West, the Museum of Failure is a traveling exhibition that features some of history's biggest busts, from Crystal Pepsi to Thirsty Cat (fish-flavored water for your cat). "We need to be better at learning from failure," West said. "I want visitors to recognize that failure is an essential aspect of progress and innovation." The museum also includes a Failure Confessional, where visitors can leave their own personal flops behind. Don't fail to check it out: The museum will be open until Dec. 10. [WUSA, 9/12/2023]

Cry for Help

If there was ever a place where it would be better to let a dropped Apple Watch go, a Michigan woman found it. ABC News reported that on Sept. 19, passersby called police when they heard a woman yelling for help from within an outhouse. The unidentified woman had lowered herself into the outhouse toilet to retrieve her Apple Watch, which had fallen into the unmentionable muck below. Unable to climb back out, the woman resorted to yelling for assistance, and she was eventually lifted out via strap by first responders. State police issued a statement with a warning to any fumble-fingers who might follow the woman's poor example: "If you lose an item in an outhouse toilet, do not attempt to venture inside the containment area. Serious injury may occur." [ABC News, 9/20/23]

Sounds Fishy

Grocery shoppers in some BILLA supermarkets in Europe are finding themselves face to face with the latest innovation in food technology, fresh ... off the printer. Austrian-based food-tech startup Revo Foods has developed a 3D-printed vegan fish filet "inspired by salmon," which Popular Science reported "relies on mycoprotein made from nutrition-heavy filamentous fungi" that "naturally offers a meat-like texture." The company has announced that The Filet will be available on its webstore on Oct. 1, but sorry, U.S.-based wannabe print-pescatarians: Revo ships to the EU only. The company expects to reach the U.S. market by 2025. [Popular Science, 9/15/23]

Bear Necessities

A Krispy Kreme driver delivering doughnuts to an Express convenience store on Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson in Alaska on Sept. 12 learned the hard way to lock up his van whenever he leaves it, after a pair of doughnut thieves raided his ride and got their fill. And when you're talking about a mama bear and her cub, that's a lot. "They ate 20 packages of the doughnut holes and I believe six packages of the three-pack chocolate doughnuts," said Shelly Deano, manager of the Express store. KTUU-TV reported that no humans or bears were injured during the doughnut raid, and base security was able to convince the bears to leave by blasting loud sirens. [KTUU-TV, 9/12/23]

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As dog-walkers passed the Seascape Cafe in Chapel St. Leonards, England, on Sept. 6, they were startled to see what they thought was a "ritual mass murder" inside, United Press International reported. Police were called to the scene, but it turns out the people lying on their backs were just taking part in a yoga meditation exercise. The class's teacher, Millie Laws, said class members had dispersed before officers arrived, and assured the community on her Facebook page that "(w)e are not part of any mad cult or crazy clubs. ... They were all participating in a beautiful deep relaxation, and it could have never run through any of our minds that it could be taken this way." Namaste. [UPI, 9/8/2023]

Life Goals

-- Zach Swope, 32, of Carlisle, Pennsylvania, had a worthy goal in mind when he set out to capture a Guinness World Record: He wanted to raise awareness for mental health issues. To that end, Regal Cinemas donated $7,777.77 to the American Federation for Suicide Prevention after Swope saw 777 films in 365 days, United Press International reported. He started in July 2022 with "Minions: Rise of Gru" and finished with "Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny." Swope wisely bought a Regal Unlimited Membership for $22 per month, which allowed him to see as many films as he could. He said he generally saw up to three movies every weekday after work and a few on the weekends, but he was not allowed to take bathroom breaks or have snacks or drinks during the films. What was his favorite? "Across the Spider-Verse." [UPI, 9/8/2023]

-- In Brezna, Montenegro, seven individuals are competing for the resort village's coveted title of "Laziest Citizen," Reuters reported -- and all they have to do is lie down. The contest, which promises a prize of $1,070, is held every year; it started in 2012 to mock a popular stereotype of Montenegrins being lazy. In 2022, a record of 117 hours was set. But after 20+ days and nearly 500 hours, seven of the 2023 lazy competitors -- down from the 21 who started -- were still at it. (Don't worry: Each person gets 10 minutes every eight hours to visit the restroom.) Last year's champion, Dubravka Aksic, 38, said they all "feel good, excellent, there are no health problems, they are pampering us, all we have to do is remain lying down." "Time goes by quickly," said Filip Knezevic, 23, who is determined to take the prize. [Reuters, 9/8/2023]

The Golden Age of Air Travel

-- A Swiss airlines flight on Sept. 9 from Zurich to Bilbao, Spain, took off without one key element in place: the passengers' luggage. Yahoo! News reported that although passengers waited for two hours in Spain for their luggage to arrive, it never did. Company spokesperson Kavin Ampalam explained: "There was a shortage of ground staff," and after waiting for more than an hour, they decided to take off anyway. The pilot apologized to passengers for the delay but failed to mention the lack of luggage on board. "We understand the situation is not favorable for the people involved, and of course we regret the inconvenience," Ampalam said. Or worse: "Our vacation is ruined," said passenger Carsten Redlich. [Yahoo! News, 9/10/2023]

-- Travelers aboard a Delta flight from Ghana to New York on Sept. 8 made an unexpected 12-hour detour to remote Terceira Island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, the New York Post reported, and the airline didn't have much sympathy for them. The plane experienced a "mechanical issue with a backup oxygen system," a Delta spokesperson said. Nana Asante-Smith, one of the passengers, said people on board were enclosed in a "partitioned section" because of visa regulations and "had no access to food" or water. Finally, the airport provided sandwiches, juice boxes and crackers. Flyers couldn't get any information from Delta, and one airport staffer told the group they "shouldn't start a revolution" and should be grateful that their plane didn't crash into the sea. When a replacement plane arrived, the group's luggage was not transferred to the new aircraft, and some travelers waited days for their items to be recovered. [NY Post, 9/11/2023]

Weird Science

Researchers with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), exploring the Gulf of Alaska in early September, stumbled upon a "golden orb" on the ocean floor that they can't identify, Yahoo! News reported. Scientists used a remotely operated vehicle to survey deepwater habitats; the object, which was about 4 inches in diameter and had a tear near its base, was perched on a rock 2 miles deep. "While we were able to collect the 'golden orb' and bring it onto the ship, we still are not able to identify it beyond the fact that it is biological in origin," NOAA said. [Yahoo! News, 9/8/2023]

Repeat Offender

Reza Baluchi just can't stop getting into trouble with the U.S. Coast Guard, NPR reported. The Iranian-born man from Florida was arrested on Aug. 29 after officers tried for three days to convince him to abandon his plan: running across the Atlantic Ocean in a "hamster wheel" fitted with buoys, with his final destination being London, England -- 4,000 miles from his starting point. He tried similar stunts in 2014, 2016 and 2021, "all of which resulted in USCG intervention," said Coast Guard Special Agent Michael Perez. In a short documentary made about Baluchi by Vice, he explained his motivation: "If you drive a boat, nobody cares. Bubble, nobody did before. ... Make me crazy. They stop me every time, they save my life. I don’t no need it, save my life." After the 2016 incident, the Coast Guard sank Baluchi's bubble, so he redesigned and built a new one. He faces charges of obstruction of boarding and violation of a captain of the port order. [NPR, 9/7/2023]

The Criminal Mind

The North Wales Police are warning residents about a new strategy being used by burglars, Sky News reported. Criminals are leaving Christmas gnomes in people's front gardens, then watching to see if the little figurines are moved. That way, they can discern whether residents are away and the home is an easy target. "We would advise residents to be vigilant," a spokesperson for the police said. Dodgy. [Sky News, 9/5/2023]

Police Report

John McKee, 51, of Vincennes, Indiana, landed in the Knox County jail on Aug. 23 after a state trooper observed him driving a Power Wheels Jeep around 9 p.m. on a city street. According to police, the toy car didn't have lights or reflectors, and McKee failed a field sobriety test, The Smoking Gun reported. He told the officer that he had crystal meth and marijuana in his system. He was released on bond, and his fancy ride was collected by Troy's Towing, a trooper said. [Smoking Gun, 8/25/2023]

Surprise!

Goodwill employees in Goodyear, Arizona, were startled on Sept. 5 when they opened a donated box and found a human skull inside, The Arizona Republic reported. The skull still had some of the teeth attached and featured a false eye set in the left eye socket. Goodyear Police spokesperson Lisa Berry said they believed it to be "historic" and to have no "forensic significance, meaning there appears to be no associated crime." The Goodwill store would not comment on whether the skull will be added to the store's shelves (perfect for Halloween!) or how it would be priced. [Arizona Republic, 9/7/2023]

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"It's just a biohazard issue," the pilot told air traffic control. And indeed, the Delta Airlines Airbus A350 was forced to return to Atlanta after two hours in the air on Sept. 1 after a passenger suffered an "onboard medical emergency": uncontrollable diarrhea that left the entire length of the aisle covered in fecal matter. The Guardian reported that passengers said the flight crew did everything they could to clean up the mess, including spraying it with scented disinfectant. But that merely made the cabin "smell of vanilla s--t," one traveler said. Back in Atlanta, passengers, including the afflicted traveler, waited eight hours for the plane to be cleaned up and the aisle carpet to be replaced, then reboarded and were on their way to Barcelona -- again. [Guardian, 9/6/2023]

Bright Idea

A 38-year-old man and a 55-year-old woman have been arrested in the central Shanxi province of China, China Daily reported, for digging a shortcut through the Great Wall of China. Local police were alerted to the damage on Aug. 24 and followed tracks from an excavator back to the suspects, who explained that they needed the shortcut to get back and forth to their construction jobs. The Great Wall is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, which has reportedly been "damaged beyond repair." The two were charged with destroying a cultural relic. [China Daily, 9/4/2023]

Awesome!

Tennessean Tami Manis is going to see her name in the 2024 edition of the "Guinness World Records" book after 34 years of hard work ... not getting haircuts. United Press International reported on Aug. 31 that Manis' mullet, measured at 5 feet, 8 inches long, earned her the prize in the female competitive mullet category. She had not cut the "party in the back" section of her hair since Feb. 9, 1990. "I've had people recognize me from 20 years ago because I've kept the same hairstyle," she said. "This is amazing." [UPI, 8/31/2023]

What Could Go Wrong?

Frick and Riverview Parks in Pittsburgh have a problem: The deer population has grown to the point that the animals are dangerous to themselves and humans, Fox News reported. "With no natural predators, we are seeing an increase in car-deer collisions, relentless damage to our ecosystem and unnatural aggression toward pets and people," the city's website reads. What to do? The city is going to randomly pick 30 archers to participate in "a pilot program with archery-controlled hunts ... during the 2023-2024 deer archery season," the city announced. Hopeful hunters will be part of a lottery system, and final participants must have a clean background check and a deer permit. In addition, "the selected archers will be required to attend an accuracy test" and will be confined to a specific area of the park to hunt. Those who kill more than two deer in their area will be given preference for subsequent seasons, according to the city. Keep that orange vest handy. [Fox News, 9/5/2023]

Least Competent Criminal

Nicholas Coffey, 23, couldn't resist bragging on social media about his "new" Mercedes-Benz on Sept. 2, which made it easier for cops to track him down, Fox News reported. Coffey and an accomplice used the stolen car to break into other vehicles on Deltona, Florida, residential streets during the early morning hours, then stopped at a gas station, where Coffey was captured on surveillance video. Volusia County detectives caught up with him the following morning and arrested him on multiple charges. [Fox News, 9/4/2023]

Clothing Optional

The Chicago Park District just couldn't let the city's nudists have a little fun on Labor Day. Early that morning, someone posted a sign at Loyola Beach along Lake Michigan declaring "Nude Beach Past This Sign," WLS-TV reported. But, alderman Maria Hadden scolded, the sign was unofficial and "cheeky," and workers had it removed by that evening. Hadden did share that in 1932, alderman George A. Williston proposed a resolution to create a nude sunbathing beach in the same location. Great minds ... [WLS, 9/5/2023]

Inexplicable

Patrick Spina IV, 45, of Absecon, New Jersey, is facing criminal mischief charges after a bizarre series of stunts starting in June, WPVI-TV reported. After the Quality Inn in Galloway Township was targeted about a dozen times with a bright green dye launched into its outdoor pool by a drone, Sandra Woolston, the general manager, said she "had a meltdown" because the pool was largely unusable. In August, police got a call about a similar incident from a resident who was swimming in his pool when the dye was cast. The sea dye, normally used in search and rescue efforts, is damaging to swimming pools. Police got in touch with the FAA and learned the drone was operated by Spina. Detectives could not supply a motive but said they believed he was "pranking people." "He was getting too happy with doing it," Woolston said. [WPVI, 9/5/2023]

That's One Way To Do It

A woman in China's Fuzhou City is facing a prison sentence of three years and a $27,000 fine after she chewed her way to a new iPhone at an Apple store. According to the South China Morning Post, the woman, surnamed Qiu, entered the store and made a beeline to the phone display. She was seen on surveillance video examining an iPhone 14 (worth about $950), then looking around to make sure no one was watching. Then she put the anti-theft cable in her mouth and chewed through it, secured the phone in her bag and left the store. Store employees noticed the severed cable and contacted police, who were able to track Qiu and arrest her at her home. She told them she planned to buy an iPhone but balked at the price and decided to steal one instead. [SCMP, 9/2/2023]

Crime Report

Xuming Li, 36, a Ph.D. candidate in the University of South Florida's chemistry department, has been charged with multiple counts of battery, aggravated stalking and possession of a controlled substance after he targeted his neighbors, The New York Times reported on Aug. 27. Umar Abdullah, who lived above Li in a Tampa Bay condominium building, first started smelling a chemical odor in May. He believed it caused his family to experience breathing difficulties and burning eyes. For nearly a year, Li had "complained about footsteps. He complained about door closing sounds," Abdullah said. The chemical odor came back in June, so Abdullah installed a hidden camera pointed at his front door, which captured Li on June 27 "injecting something" at the entrance. Preliminary testing showed the substances to be methadone and hydrocodone. Li was released on bond and will appear in court in December. [NYTimes, 8/27/2023]

Saw That Coming

A 20-year-old unnamed Swiss man was taken to the hospital on Aug. 21 after trying not once, but twice, to put his face on the water nozzle at Geneva, Switzerland's Jet d'Eau, the BBC reported. The attraction projects 110 gallons of water per second, reaching a height of 459 feet. His first attempt resulted in him being thrown backward; on his second try, he was thrown into the air and landed on a nearby cement walkway. He then dived into Lake Geneva, where officers found him and sought medical care for him. The company that operates the fountain intends to file a complaint against him for trespassing. [BBC, 8/23/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.