South Korean model Ain, also known as Angel Box Girl, is being prosecuted for obscene exposure following incidents from last fall, Oddity Central reported. In Seoul and Gangnam, Ain walked through the streets wearing a large cardboard box with holes for her arms and legs -- plus two more, which she invited strangers to put their hands in to grope her breasts and other body parts. Naturally, she attracted large crowds that police were called to disperse. "It's freedom of expression," she said. "I just wanted to market myself. I actually saw many positive reactions, with people telling me they support me and applaud my courage." If found guilty, Ain could face a $3,800 fine or up to a year in jail. [Oddity Central, 1/15/2024]

Ohhhh-kkaaaayyyy

Pet owners who are exceedingly attached to their furry friends sometimes go to the trouble of having them preserved through taxidermy after they die. After her Roborovski dwarf hamster, Hammy, passed away last year, Jess Porter-Langson, 27, who lives in Brighton in the U.K., sought out Bea Ostrowska, a local taxidermist, hoping to immortalize her beloved pet as a pole-dancing stripper, Metro News reported. "This hamster was so iconic, and all my friends knew Hammy and wanted to see him," Porter-Langson said. "He needed something special." Ostrowska posed Hammy on a small platform with a pole and sewed a little thong for him to wear, which is stuffed with tiny dollar bills. "He's got this creepy little smile going on," Porter-Langson said. "I was blown away. What is more iconic than a hamster on a stripper pole hustling for money?" What, indeed. [Metro News, 1/17/2024]

Funsuckers

The U.S. Federal Highway Administration, in an effort to suck any remaining fun from highway commutes, has laid down the law: By 2026, states must ban messages on electronic highway signs that include references to pop culture or evoke a laugh. Examples: "Visiting in-laws? Slow down, get there late" from Ohio; "Use Yah Blinkah" from Massachusetts; and "Hocus Pocus, Drive With Focus" from New Jersey. The Associated Press reported that the agency wants the signs to be "simple, direct, brief, legible and clear" because clever messages might distract or confuse drivers. One Arizona state representative, David Cook of Globe, was underwhelmed: "Prime example that the federal government is not focusing on what they need to be." [AP, 1/14/2024]

Be Careful What You Wish For

The Lexington (Kentucky) Convention and Visitors Bureau appears to be desperate for tourists, the Associated Press reported. It is using an infrared laser to send messages toward potentially habitable planets in a solar system 40 light years away, luring extraterrestrials with "lush green countryside ... (and) famous bluegrass." Lexington native Robert Lodder, an expert in astrobiology and SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence), conceived the idea, and linguistics expert Dr. Andrew Byrd consulted: "We included ... the molecular structure for water, bourbon and even dopamine ... because Lexington is fun!" he said. See you in 2064! [AP, 1/17/2024]

Bright Idea

Jessica Beatty, 42, of Clearwater, Florida, thought she might throw off the court by submitting someone else's urine for a mandated drug test, The Smoking Gun reported. She didn't choose just any old random donor, though -- she allegedly collected urine from her aunt's dog. Beatty was arrested on Dec. 28 for possession of drug paraphernalia and driving with a suspended license; she had priors for cocaine possession and other offenses. When she was confronted on Jan. 11 for her "fraudulent urine sample," she admitted that it wasn't her pee. Her bond is likely to be revoked, sending her back to jail. [The Smoking Gun, 1/15/2024]

Government in Action

-- In Oklahoma, a proposed new bill, HB 3084, would prohibit students who "purport to be an imaginary animal or species" -- i.e., furries -- from participating in schools' curriculum or other activities, KOKH-TV reported. Rep. Justin Humphrey of Lane, Oklahoma, filed the bill on Jan. 17; it would also require parents to pick up their furry offspring from school or risk them being turned over to animal control. Leave the cat ears at home, kids. [KOKH, 1/17/2024]

-- You'll need your dictionary for this one. In York, England, signs have been popping up that appear to encourage citizens to "exercise obtundity," the BBC reported on Jan. 17. Of course, no one knows what that word means: "Knowing the police, it could be anything," said one resident. Social media has come alive with speculation about the signs, but it turns out that "Exercise Obtundity" is the name of a training program involving the York City Council, North Yorkshire Fire and Rescue Service and the Yorkshire Ambulance Service, and the signs are merely warnings of streets that might be closed during the activities. Stand down. [BBC, 1/17/2024]

Least Competent Criminal

A man in Sulphur Springs, Texas, was arrested on Jan. 9 for stealing a Lamborghini in Houston, KLTV reported. Everett Van Jennings, 34, parked the sports car in his own garage, police reported -- along with two other vehicles he had nicked. Police said together they were valued at $500,000. The Lamborghini's owner tracked the car using a GPS device and set off the lights and alarms, but Jennings claimed to be out of town and unable to return home. Law enforcement got a search warrant and along with the cars found materials used in VIN swapping. Jennings was charged with at least two felonies. [KLTV, 1/9/2024]

Don't Try This at Home

OK, everyone knows that opening a bag of potato chips can be as challenging as breaking into a bank vault, especially if you're hungry. But on Jan. 3, a 75-year-old man in Dalton, Georgia, used an unorthodox -- and dangerous -- method that landed him in the hospital, The Charlotte Observer reported. The man tried to use a lighter to get his chips open, resulting in third-degree burns to about 75% of his body and the recliner he was sitting in. Chips, with their high concentration of fat and carbohydrates, are highly flammable. Try the scissors. [Charlotte Observer, 1/4/2024]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

With freezing weather causing slippery surfaces, NHS Scotland, the country's health service, is advising people on how to safely move about the streets, STV News reported. Experts suggest that folks "walk like a penguin," with toes pointed out slightly, knees loose and arms extended out from the sides. Walkers should take short steps and keep their center of gravity over their feet. "While it may seem silly to walk or waddle like a penguin, the alternative may be a nasty injury or even time in hospital," said Dr. Emilia Crighton, director for public health at NHSGGC. "Penguins know best." [STV News, 1/16/2024]

Positively Hitchcockian

In southwest London, patrons outside a Greggs bakery are being warned of attacks by hungry, hungry crows, The Sun reported on Jan. 16. Paras Singh, 23, who works nearby, said, "It's happening every day. They all swoop down in a frenzy." Jay Baiz, 27, a barber, said, "On Thursday, a woman was eating a bacon sandwich. The crow tried to rip it out and nearly scratched her head." Locals are hoping the city council will call in a falconer to scare the crows away. [The Sun, 1/16/2024]

The Laconia (New Hampshire) Daily Sun reported on Jan. 5 that police were called to the Market Basket supermarket in Tilton the day before after a "fruity fracas" broke out in the produce section. Social media posts indicated that a watermelon had been used in an assault, and Sgt. Andrew Salmon of the Tilton Police Department confirmed that his department is investigating. Salmon said one person went to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries "from being struck by a produce item." A worker who answered the phone at the Market Basket said, "We have been instructed not to say anything." [Laconia Daily Sun, 1/5/2024]

Awesome!

-- King, a rescue dog at the Lost Our Home Pet Rescue in Tempe, Arizona, enjoyed a brief reign among his shelter buddies, Fox10-TV reported on Jan. 11. Sometime around midnight, King managed to break out of his kennel at the shelter and busted out several other dogs. He also found a stash of food and enjoyed a little feast. In the meantime, alarms were triggered; Jodi Polanski, the shelter's founder, looked at video from the scene and saw the mess. "The police actually came because he set the alarm off," Polanski said. The unnamed responding officer cleaned up after King's free-for-all and got the dog settled back in bed. "I was just like, wow, amazing man that he did that," Polanski said. The rescue's website indicates that King is no longer looking for a home. [Fox10, 1/8/2024]

-- Rodney Holbrook, a 75-year-old retired postman from Wales, had been noticing for a couple of months that small messes in his shed were being mysteriously tidied overnight, the BBC reported. So he set up a camera and caught a little mouse picking up pegs, corks, nuts, bolts and bird food. Holbrook aptly named the rodent Welsh Tidy Mouse. "Ninety-nine times out of a hundred the mouse will tidy up throughout the night," Holbrook said. "I don't bother to tidy up now, I leave things out of the box and they put it back in its place by morning. I've added different things to the desk to see if they can lift it," he said. [BBC, 1/7/2024]

Goals

LuLu Lotus of Mississauga, Ontario, has earned a Guinness World Record for an impressive, if dubious, skill: She blew a 44.1-decibel whistle through her nose. United Press International reported on Jan. 9 that Lotus visited Aercoustics Engineering Ltd. to have her whistle measured in a special room. She said her 5-year-old son has recently discovered he, too, has a nose-whistling ability: "It would be a dream come true if he beat my record one day," Lotus said. [UPI, 1/9/2024]

High Tech

The story about the Alaska Airlines plane that lost a panel while flying at 16,000 feet is all over the news. But it's the little human-interest stories that really capture us: When the panel flew off and the hole gaped open midair on Jan. 5, someone's iPhone got sucked out and landed on a roadside in Washington state, Yahoo! News reported. Sean Bates, who found the phone, posted a photo on X showing the phone's intact screen and a battery life of 44% remaining: "Pretty clean, no scratches on it, sitting under a bush," he posted. Jennifer Homendy of the NTSB said all found phones would be returned to their owners. [Yahoo! News, 1/8/2024]

Inauspicious Award

Kathleen Murray of Sandford, Tasmania, credits bandicoots for helping her win the first-ever World's Ugliest Lawn competition, The Guardian reported on Jan. 11. The marsupials, Murray said, have "actually liberated me from ever having to mow it again. I'm all for guilt-free weekends, especially since my ex-husband left with the lawnmower back in 2016." (That must have been a good-looking Toro!) The contest began as Gotland's (Sweden) Ugliest Lawn, which was conceived to encourage water-saving and environmentally friendly gardening in 2022. "All of (the lawns) were hideous and well worthy of winning, but the winning entry was really, really bad," said Gotland's Mimmi Gibson. "It brings me a lot of joy to see all the little creatures who now feel safe to come out during the day in my yard," Murray said. [Guardian, 1/11/2024]

What's in a Name?

Or a word? Wayne State University in Michigan has announced its 15th annual list of 10 "long-lost" words that should be resurrected, United Press International reported on Jan. 10. The Word Warriors program has identified "blatherskite" (nonsense), "curglaff" (the shock felt upon diving into cold water), "rawgabbit" (a person who speaks confidently but ignorantly), and "pawky" (having a cynical sense of humor), among others. Let's get together and twankle during our kaffeeklatsch! [UPI, 1/10/2024]

But Why?

On Jan. 8, as an Air Canada flight prepared to leave Toronto for Dubai, a passenger who had just boarded opened a cabin door and stepped out, falling about 20 feet to the ground. CTV News reported. The passenger was injured, and emergency services were called, the airline said. The flight was delayed but eventually took off. There was no explanation for why the person jumped out. [CTV News, 1/10/2024]

Crime Report

A 32-year-old woman who had been arrested for assault in Boone, North Carolina, took her aggression out on the police car's backseat on Jan. 2, The Charlotte Observer reported. Boone Police Sgt. Dennis O'Neal said a "substantial amount of padding" had been chewed away, adding up to $650 in damages. The department's Facebook post suggested they "may need to invest in Kevlar seat covers." Authorities were still deciding whether to charge her in connection with the car's damages. [Charlotte Observer, 1/8/2024]

That's One Way To Do It

The Bean Monger, a coffee shop in Indianapolis, Indiana, next to a wedding venue site, was the site of a "pop-up" marriage on Dec. 31 -- with no prior notice that the happy couple and their guests were planning to converge, the New York Post reported. Twenty to 30 people, including an officiant, photographer and guests, crowded into the small store, where they treated the unsuspecting workers as if they were hired staff. "They were asking us to take coats, purses and watch personal items as if they had rented us out," one person said. The wedding party blocked the entrance to other patrons, and when a barista asked them to move, the photographer replied, "No, wait at least five minutes." The store typically charges $500 for private events, which they have requested from the bride, but she deemed the amount "unreasonable." [NY Post, 1/8/2024]

Not Likely

-- Roderick Jackson of Waskom, Texas, is suing Walmart for $100 million -- or "unlimited free lifetime shopping" at any location -- in relation to a vague incident from an Omaha Walmart in March 2021. NBC News reported that Jackson alleges there was a "false pretense of shoplifting" that was a violation of his civil rights "based on race/color." Walmart responded that the suit is "almost identical to a lawsuit he filed against our company in 2021 that was dismissed." The earlier suit said he suffered emotional stress and pain from the handcuffs. [NBC News, 1/11/2024]

-- Joao Pimenta da Silva, 71, of Minas Gerais, Brazil, repeatedly dreamed that gold lay deep under his home, the New York Post reported. To that end, over a year ago, he began digging a hole in his kitchen floor that ended up being 130 feet deep and about 35 inches in diameter. But on Jan. 4, Pimenta's dreams died when he lost his balance and plunged to his death at the bottom of the cavity. His neighbor Arnaldo da Silva tried to discourage the project, but Pimenta was convinced his dream would come true. In the fall, he suffered head injuries and broken bones. [NY Post, 1/8/2024]

Stick with me here. In 1899 in Peshawar, Pakistan, James Squid, a drunken British officer, arrested a ... tree because he thought it was a fugitive trying to get away from him. He ordered the tree chained to the ground, Oddity Central reported, and the chains have remained for 125 years, along with a plaque explaining them. While tourists are tickled by the strange restraints, locals see the chains as a symbol of British oppression. "Through this act, the British basically implied to the tribesmen that if they dared act against the Raj, they too would be punished in a similar fashion," one local man said. Others call it a living history. [Oddity Central, 1/4/2024]

Our Litigious Society

-- Cynthia Kelly, 18, of Hillsborough County, Florida, has sued The Hershey Co. for $5 million because the Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins she bought in October didn't have a jack-o'-lantern face on them as shown on the packaging. ClickOrlando reported on Dec. 29 that Kelly accused the company of "false and deceptive advertising," and she "would not have purchased the Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins product if she knew that it did not have the detailed carvings of the mouth and/or eyes as pictured on the product label," the suit reads. She also pointed out that the White Ghost and Football candies were missing their own key details. One reviewer called the pumpkin a "monstrosity." [ClickOrlando, 12/29/2023]

-- Two years ago, Paul Kerouac stopped at a Dunkin' Donuts in Winter Park, Florida, where he used the restroom, the New York Post reported. While he was indisposed, the toilet he was occupying exploded, leaving him "covered with debris, including human feces and urine," according to a lawsuit filed on Jan. 3 in Florida's 9th Judicial District. Kerouac claims the Dunkin' workers knew there was a "problem with the toilet" and says he now "requires mental health care and counseling as a direct result of the trauma he experienced in the restroom." [NY Post, 1/4/2024]

Recurring Theme

-- Authorities are still fishing for a man who entered a Bass Pro Shops store in Fort Myers, Florida, on Dec. 20 and dipped a net into the indoor fishpond, capturing a 50-pound tarpon. USA Today reported that the suspect left the store with the dripping catch, and despite a cash reward and social media posts, the Lee County Sheriff's Office has not been able to identify or find him. [USA Today, 12/27/2023]

-- Authorities were called to the Leeds, Alabama, Bass Pro Shops on Jan. 4 after 42-year-old George Owens of Sterrett drove a car into a pole in the parking lot, then exited the car, stripped off all his clothes and ran inside, where he did a cannonball into the aquarium. AL.com reported that Owens yelled at two police officers, then climbed over the edge of the aquarium, where he fell to the concrete floor and knocked himself out. He was charged with public lewdness among other offenses. [AL.com, 1/5/2024]

Super Freak

On Dec. 13, as a family in Arlington, Virginia, sat down to dinner, a Ring doorbell notification alerted them to someone at the door, WUSA-TV reported. The woman told her husband, "There's this guy, he didn't ring the doorbell. He's just standing there and he's in a gingerbread man costume." The husband called the police non-emergency line to report the creepy visit, and about an hour later, another neighbor, Lindsey Churchill, spotted the gingerbread man. "All of a sudden my dogs were going crazy ... and there was a giant blow-up gingerbread man costume out on the sidewalk," she said. "We kind of locked eyes and the gingerbread man went on his way. It was not holly jolly." Police never actually caught up with the subject, who was not identified. [WUSA, 12/21/2023]

Getting Away From It All

-- Three armed suspects were busy robbing a check-cashing business in Commerce City, Colorado, on Dec. 16 when another thief mucked up their getaway plans, 9News-TV reported. The robbers' vehicle, which was probably stolen, was outside when a woman jumped in and took off with it, leaving the teenage suspects to try to escape on foot. Police were able to capture two of them, along with loaded firearms, and arrest them. The car thief is still at large. [9News, 12/19/2023]

-- In Wheat Ridge, Colorado, police caught up with a burglar on Dec. 28 who had hired an Uber for use as a getaway car, 14News-TV reported. Jose Guadalupe Perez-Gallardo was taken into custody as he approached his hired ride, carrying a backpack with $8,600 worth of stolen Milwaukee-brand tools inside. "Ordering an Uber as your getaway driver makes it that much easier for us to find you," the Wheat Ridge Police Department posted online. [14News, 1/3/2024]

Questionable Judgment

Dr. Kevin Molldrem of Eden Prairie, Minnesota, is the subject of a malpractice lawsuit filed in late December by his patient Kathleen Wilson, USA Today reported. Wilson alleges in the suit that Molldrem, during a single visit in July 2020, performed more than 30 procedures on Wilson's mouth -- eight crowns, four root canals and 20 fillings -- and that the work was done "improperly," resulting in her disfiguration. The lawsuit also alleges that Molldrem used twice the amount of anesthesia allowed and then falsified records to cover that dosage. Wilson is seeking more than $50,000 in damages. [USA Today, 12/28/2023]

Not on My Watch

Vancouver, British Columbia, police revealed that on Dec. 19, a 72-year-old woman successfully chased an intruder from her home with a shovel, Vancouver City News reported. A naked man broke into the victim's home with a pointed metal rod, which he swung toward her throughout the encounter. She fought back with a shovel, and "chased him out of the house and cornered him until officers arrived," police said. "Kudos to her, it was pretty badass of her, I would say," said Constable Tania Visintin. No one was injured during the incident. [Vancouver City News, 12/20/2023]

News You Can Use

We've all seen the restaurant notices about automatic gratuities added for parties of more than six or eight people. A 10-person group in South Bend, Indiana, thought they would beat the system at the Wild Crab restaurant by splitting into two groups of five, WSBT-TV reported. A manager said the group was informed that they'd be subject to the 18% gratuity, even though they were seated in different sections of the restaurant. As the party left the restaurant, someone threw crayons at the manager and pepper-sprayed them. Firefighters responded to help the victim of the pepper spray, and a police report was filed. [WSBT, 1/2/2024]

Oops

Someone missed the "Please secure all loose clothing" safety message. On Jan. 5, on the DC Rivals HyperCoaster at Movie World in Oxenford, Australia, the Mirror reported that a scarf became entangled around the wheel of one of the trains, which caused it to stop at the top of a hill. Dozens of riders were stranded, and each was given a harness and told to walk down the stairs to the load station. "All the guests on-board are safe with the ride vehicle stopped in a designated zone," Warner Bros. Movie World said in a statement. [Mirror, 1/5/2024]