At an event billed as "Willy's Chocolate Experience" on Feb. 24 in Glasgow, Scotland, children and parents were so underwhelmed that police were called, The New York Times reported. The event, which promised Willy Wonka-themed chocolate fountains, performances by Oompa Loompas and "optical marvels," turned out to offer just a few jelly beans and a nearly empty warehouse. Stuart Sinclair, who paid about $44 per ticket to bring his kids to the show, said it amounted to "maybe 20 chairs, a couple of tables and a half-inflated bouncy castle." Jenny Fogarty, who was hired to play an Oompa Loompa, said she was given a 15-page script the night before and that "the wigs were very cheap." The organizer canceled the event on Saturday afternoon; it was unclear who had called police. The event organizer, House of Illuminati, said ticket purchases would be refunded. [New York Times, 2/27/2024]

Bright Ideas

-- On Feb. 19, neighbors in an apartment building in Wejherowo, Poland, became alarmed as a 19-year-old man tried to lead a full-grown horse up the stairs to his third-floor home, Radio Gdansk reported. Police were called to the building and determined that the mare, worth about $3,800, had been stolen. She was returned to the owner, and the horse thief was charged with theft; he faces five years in prison. [Radio Gdansk, 2/21/2024]

-- Details have recently emerged about an incident in Willow Springs, Missouri, in November, the Springfield News-Leader reported. The Howell County Sheriff's Office had investigated after a man in his 60s, who was a paraplegic, lost his feet while brush-hogging. "It was a poorly executed plan," said Lt. Torey Thompson. He said it was clear almost immediately that the accident had been staged: The cuts were very clean, the feet were nowhere to be found, and tourniquets had been applied to both legs. Allegedly, the victim had help from a man from Florida, who cut off the feet with a hatchet to help him commit insurance fraud. However, since the unnamed man never filed the claim and he was so severely injured, the sheriff's office declined to charge him. And the missing feet? "A couple of days later, we got a call that a relative found them in a bucket obscured by tires, so we went and got them," Thompson said. Mystery solved. [Springfield News-Leader, 2/15/2024]

The Golden Age of Air Travel

-- On Feb. 13, as a Delta flight soared from Amsterdam to Detroit, maggots began falling from an overhead compartment onto passengers below, The Guardian reported. Philip Schotte, who was on the flight, said attendants traced the source to a bag stowed above and found a rotten fish wrapped in newspaper. They removed the offending item, and the pilot announced that the plane would be returning to Amsterdam. Apologizing, Delta said the passengers were placed on another flight and the plane was removed from service for cleaning. Passengers were also given 8,000 air miles, hotel room compensation and a $30 meal ticket. But who's hungry? [Guardian, 2/15/2024]

-- Sri Lankan Airlines was forced to ground one of its Airbus A330 planes for three days after a rat was spotted on the aircraft, United Press International reported on Feb. 27. The rodent was seen during a flight from Lahore, Pakistan, to Colombo, Sri Lanka. Workers sprayed the plane with poison, and technicians checked wiring for damage done by chewing. [UPI, 2/27/2024]

Saw That Coming

You might have missed the first-ever Florida Man Games in St. Augustine on Feb. 24, but it's never too early to plan for next year. United Press International reported that hundreds of people paid $55 each for a ticket to watch Floridians compete in a mullet contest and a "Florida sumo" event where competitors tried to spill each other's beers. Other events included a pork butt eating contest, a race that simulated stealing a bike, and an "evading arrest obstacle course." One winning team walked away with the $5,000 prize. "We understand that Florida is weird," said Pete Melfi, organizer of the event. "We embrace it." [United Press International, 2/26/2024]

Try the Decaf

Brandie Gotch, 30, of Peoria, Arizona, told police that her children were being bullied by other kids, and she had reported it to the school and law enforcement, but nothing happened. So on Feb. 27, she took matters into her own hands, CBS5-TV reported. With her four children in her Silverado, Gotch drove to a local park, where she allegedly approached a group of kids and started yelling at them. Police said Gotch grabbed a 14-year-old boy by the hair and yanked his head back and forth as she yelled at him, then grabbed a stick from her truck and chased him, yelling, "I am going to kill you and run you over!" She then jumped back into her truck and drove it toward the group of kids, running over a girl's ankle in the process, although she told police she didn't think she hit the girl. "I hope I didn’t," she said. Her own children told police they were bouncing all over the truck during her jaunt through the park. Gotch was charged with six counts of endangerment, four counts of aggravated assault, two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and one count of attempted first-degree murder. [CBS5, 2/29/2024]

News You Can Use

Legend says that if the seven ravens who protect the Tower of London (six, plus one spare, as decreed by King Charles II) ever leave the landmark, the tower will crumble and the Kingdom of England will fall. So it's no surprise that the tower has a ravenmaster, and 56-year-old Michael "Barney" Chandler has just been installed in the job, the Associated Press reported. Chandler is a former Royal Marine who said, "We don't know if (the prophecy is) true or not, because we've never let the number drop below six -- and it's not going to happen while I'm here." As the sixth holder of the post, Chandler will be in charge of four other Beefeaters who look after the ravens. "You never know what they're going to do," he said. "They're all totally different, personality-wise." His favorite is Poppy, who hops up to him to accept a treat of a dead mouse now and again. Spoiler alert: The birds' feathers are trimmed so they can't fly away. [AP, 3/1/2024]

Leap Day Fun

-- In Rye, New Hampshire, Lillian Edin celebrated her 25th birthday -- although she is 100 years old. "I feel 25, until I start trying to walk," Edin said, according to WMUR-TV. "I can't believe I've lived this age. I really can't." She was feted with lunch and cupcakes. [WMUR, 2/29/2024]

-- A brother and sister who were both born on Leap Day four years apart are getting to celebrate the unusual birthday for the first time. Omri Demchak, 8, and his sister, Scout, 4, celebrated with more than 50 people at the coffee shop their parents own in Brooklyn, New York. Most years, the family celebrate Omri's birthday on Feb. 28 and Scout's on March 1. Mom Lindsay Demchak said neither of the leap kids was due on the special day. "It was truly serendipitous," she told the New York Post. [NY Post, 2/29/2024]

-- Issue 12 of France's La Bougie du Sapeur (The Sapper's Candle) has hit the newsstands, the BBC reported -- which is kind of a big deal because it is printed only on Feb. 29, every four years. The first edition was in 1980. Editor Jean d'Indy said the 20-page tabloid is "put out by a few pals. We meet in a bar and toss around ideas over drinks. We have a lot of fun, and if the reader does, too, that's the icing on the cake." It has a print run of 200,000, costs about 5 euros, and is not available online. [BBC, 2/28/2024]

And you thought your glovebox full of unpaid parking tickets was impressive. Police detectives and patrol officers arrested Ahyoka Keith, aka Carol Ann Sumner, on Feb. 16, two weeks after she was charged with an astonishing 322 felonies and 327 misdemeanors by the Spring Township police department in Bellefonte, Pennsylvania. Keith is an over-the-road trucker, and her 649 warrants were related to the theft of thousands of dollars from a relative. [WPMI NBC15, 2/20/2024]

Not Getting It

A 42-year-old resident of Ajax, Ontario, was arrested and charged with impaired driving on Feb. 20 at the Durham Regional police station, where he had driven to complain ... about his arrest for public intoxication from earlier that morning. The man asked to speak with a supervisor when he arrived at the station, but officers noticed he seemed to be intoxicated, and, after confirming he had driven himself, issued a breathalyzer test, which the man failed. His license was suspended and his vehicle was impounded. [DurhamRegion.com, 2/20/24]

Need for Speed

The Hockenheimring racetrack in Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany, was the setting for a Guinness World Record-setting run recently. The speed reached -- 92.24 mph -- might not sound so impressive, but Fulda University engineering student Marcel Paul attained that velocity in a toy car. Paul spent 10 months modifying the miniature Porsche with the goal of beating the 88 mph made famous by the time-traveling DeLorean DMC-12 in the "Back to the Future" movies, and in the process created the world's fasted ride-on toy car. Said one user in the comments on Paul's Instagram video of the milestone event: "Hell no that looks dangerous." [Yahoo News, 2/20/2024]

Bleepin' Birds

Eight potty-mouthed parrots are set to rejoin the rest of their flock at the Lincolnshire Wildlife Park in Boston, United Kingdom, after zoo officials decided that recent efforts to help the dirty birds clean up their act in isolation had shown promise. Steve Nichols, who serves as chief executive of the park, still isn't sure what will happen when the birds are reunited with their more well-behaved peers. "We could end up with 100 swearing parrots on our hands," Nichols said. "Only time will tell." For now, the park does not plan to take down its signs warning visitors of the potential for foul language. [BBC, 2/21/2024]

Very Senior Year

It's never too late to graduate, and Fred Allen Smalls of Georgetown, South Carolina, is proof. Smalls took the stage at Georgetown High School on Feb. 4, the day before his 106th birthday, to receive an honorary diploma at a ceremony that came to fruition largely due to the efforts of his granddaughter. Smalls completed eighth grade in the 1930s and moved to Washington, D.C., where he worked as a janitor and held several other jobs before beginning a career with the District of Columbia, eventually retiring during the John F. Kennedy administration. WPDE ABC 15 reported that the diploma was "something he's wished for most of his life." And the diploma wasn't the first time Smalls made recent news: In 2023, ABC News recognized him as the oldest Philadelphia Eagles fan. ABC 15 [ABC15, 2/20/2024]

Sticky Situation

A coyote that found itself in an ironic predicament in mid-January has the Humane Animal Welfare Society (HAWS) and the Wildlife in Need Center (WINC) of Waukesha County, Wisconsin, to thank for its rescue -- maybe with a little help from above? WDJT in Milwaukee reported that the coyote had gotten its head stuck inside a hollow statue of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals, while chasing a rabbit. The coyote was spotted dragging the statue and working to free itself, but by the next day, the animal was exhausted and still trapped. HAWS located the coyote and transported it to WINC, where it was freed, treated for minor injuries and given the nickname "Frannie." [WDJT CBS 58, 2/12/2024]

Long-Term Lending

More and more libraries across the country have converted to fine-free lending, and that's a very good thing for one patron of the Licking County Library in Ohio. WPDE ABC 15 in Columbus reported that an Instagram post shared by the library included video of a poetry book that recently had been returned -- about 93 years late. The patron had found the "Heart Throbs" poetry collection at a relative's house and discovered the due date card inside the front cover, last stamped "Nov 9 '31." WPDE estimated the total fine would have been approximately $5,770. [AP, 2/13/2024]

Cemetery Shortcut

In the immortal words of Shaggy, "It wasn't me." The Lavonia (Georgia) Police Department wants residents to know that a chaotic scene in a local graveyard Feb. 20 had nothing to do with them. "In case you saw or heard the law enforcement commotion," reads a post on the department's Facebook page, "well, it wasn't us." The commotion in question? Deputies from the Oconee County Sheriff's Office in neighboring South Carolina had chased a reckless driver across state lines and into the Lavonia City Burgess Cemetery, reports FOX 5 Atlanta. The driver -- who was apparently "late for an appointment" -- damaged several graves before attempting to flee on foot. Unsuccessfully. [Fox 5, 2/20/2024]

Thong and Pony Show

Australian equestrian Shane Rose, a three-time Olympic medalist, decided to push the sartorial envelope on Feb. 11, competing in a skimpy mankini -- the kind popularized by the 2006 movie "Borat." In fairness, the annual Wallaby Hill Extravaganza in New South Wales is a costumed competition, where equestrians put horses through their paces in all kinds of wacky get-ups. Some even go through multiple costume changes, which was the case with Rose. As the Wallaby Hill Equestrian Centre put it on Facebook, Rose "truly showed us 'all he's got' as he wore less and less with each horse he entered the arena with." But someone complained about the mankini, USA Today reported, leading governing body Equestrian Australia to bar Rose from competing while it investigated. (Even rowdy Aussies must follow codes of conduct, after all.) For a few days, Rose's 2024 Paris Olympics plans hung in the balance, but he was soon cleared of any wrongdoing. Let's hope he changes clothes before heaving a big sigh of relief. [USA Today, 2/19/2024]

Animal Antics

-- Caterina Sevares of Florida had a late-night craving for tacos on Feb. 13, so she did what many of us have probably done: She placed a DoorDash order and hopped in the shower while waiting for her food to be delivered. But when she opened the door to retrieve the Talkin' Tacos delivery, Fox 35 reported that she was met by three masked bandits -- a trio of racoons who got to her meal first, eating everything but the tortillas. Sevares began to film the carnage but retreated once the racoons started engaging -- one stood up on its hind legs while the other two stared her down. "Once they started hissing, I shut the door so fast. I was like, 'They can have the carne asada, it's fine,'" Sevares said. Talkin' Tacos caught wind of the bandits' antics after Sevares' story went viral on TikTok, and sent her a gift card for her troubles. [FOX 35, 2/14/2024]

-- Elsewhere in Florida, bears ransacked a woman's car -- on Valentine's Day, no less. Cassidy Simoes' boyfriend left chocolates in the front seat of her car the night before, intending to give them to her the next day. But NBC2 reported that at about 3:30 on Valentine's morning, the couple woke to find the car in bad shape: "Basically, the whole door panel, I can't even open the door at all or roll the windows down, nothing," Simoes said. No word on if the chocolates were replaced. [NBC2, 2/14/24]

In Atkinson, New Hampshire, a new business is stirring up controversy: The Diaper Spa is a haven for adults who role-play as children. Boston.com reported that the spa is open to "all diaper-wearing individuals who seek acceptance, respite and care." The facility is decorated like a nursery, with toys and adult-sized cribs. Services range from $200 an hour for virtual playdates to a $1,500-a-day experience that pampers "the little one inside of you." The owner, Dr. Colleen Ann Murphy, said the community of ABDL (adult/baby diaper lovers) is vast. "Being a part of this community brings comfort and solace," she said, and added that her services do not have a sexual component. Some Atkinson residents are concerned, though. "That is something that I will never be willing to expose my kids to," said Kayla Gallagher. "People tend to fear anything that they fail to comprehend," Murphy countered. [Boston.com, 1/30/2024]

It's a Mystery

-- Brett Elmore, the general manager of WJLX-AM radio in Jasper, Alabama, thought he had misheard when he got a call on Feb. 2, The Washington Post reported. "The tower is gone," his landscaper said. The 200-foot-tall steel structure that had broadcast the station for decades was gone, with cut wires and an empty concrete slab left behind. Elmore said police were "as bumfuzzled as I was." Upon further investigation, he realized the padlock was missing from the small building adjacent to the tower, and the transmitter was also gone. "I have heard of thieves in this area taking anything," Elmore said. "But this one takes the cake. If the tower is found, it's probably in a million pieces." [Washington Post, 2/9/2024]

-- The Lima family in Philadelphia are investigating an unidentified object that appeared on their roof on Feb. 7, NBC10-TV reported. Fabian Lima said he thought the 8-foot-tall flat piece of rusty metal with a large hole in it might have fallen from a plane, but "I would have thought it would have gone right through," he said. The Limas called the Federal Aviation Administration, who told them to hold on to the item until given the "all-clear." Later, the FAA said it had investigated and the object did not come from an aircraft. [NBC10, 2/8/2024]

Ewwwww

U.S. Customs and Border Protection reported on Feb. 11 that the agency had confiscated the dead and dehydrated bodies of four monkeys from the luggage of a traveler returning to Boston Logan International Airport from the Democratic Republic of Congo. The Associated Press reported that the traveler claimed he had dried fish, but a dog sniffed out something different. "Bushmeat" is banned in the U.S. because of the threat of disease, and the flyer said he had the monkeys for his own consumption. No charges were filed, but the luggage was seized and about 9 pounds of bushmeat were destroyed by the CDC. [AP, 2/11/2024]

Animal Antics

When Bedford firefighters were called out to a horse farm in Westchester County, New York, on Feb. 5, they feared the worst, NBC4-TV reported. Fortunately, it was a false alarm -- probably activated by Jax the horse, who refused to answer any questions about his shenanigans, the department said in a Facebook post. "Evidently, he was able to reach out from his stall and bite down on the alarm to set it off." [NBC4, 2/7/2024]

Tourists Behaving Badly

The Chinese take their pandas very seriously, as one Mr. Gao found out on Feb. 12 at the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding in Sichuan province. The Associated Press reported that Gao, 53, threw unspecified "objects" into the panda enclosure, which is strictly prohibited. "In view of Gao's uncivilized visit and his behavior that may cause harm to giant pandas, he is prohibited from entering the panda base ... for life," the base announced. "The national treasure has strict dietary standards." [AP, 2/13/2024]

Field Report

Poor Joey. The donkey, 15, who lives in Sidmouth, England, lost his mom, Josie, in November, and he hasn't been himself since, Metro News reported. In his grief, Joey stopped eating properly and developed a gastric impaction that threatened his life. Luckily, vets devised a sweet solution: "As well as pain relief, we flushed Joey's stomach with cola several times a day to dissolve the solid," veterinarian Jamie Forrest said. "We used 6 liters of full-sugar cola a day ... In essence the cola acted like a drain cleaner." Folks at Slade House Farm also hooked Joey up with Ben, another donkey who lost his best friend, Bob, late last year. "We hoped their shared experience of loss would allow them to comfort each other," said groom Kayleigh Yelland. "Their friendship is still flourishing. It's early days." [Metro News, 2/5/2024]

Weird Science

Charlotte, a stingray who lives at the Aquarium & Shark Lab in Hendersonville, North Carolina, is pregnant, but scientists are stumped because there are no male stingrays in her tank. WBTV reported on Feb. 12 that Brenda Ramer, the founder of the aquarium, said she noticed bite marks on Charlotte's body and suspects that they were made by either Moe or Larry, the young male sharks that live with her in the tank. Since it's impossible for those two species to interbreed, the only other explanation could be parthenogenesis, where eggs develop without fertilization and create a clone of the mother. Ramer doubts that's the case, because it's rare in rays in captivity: "It's a 'once in the bluest of blue moons' experience." [WBTV, 2/12/2024]

Least Romantic Thief

Anthony Lewis, 33, of Winter Haven, Florida, wanted to surprise his ex-girlfriend, and maybe lure her back, with a unique Valentine's Day gift. So he picked up a couple of crane statues -- out of someone else's front yard. Fox13-TV reported that Lewis was on his motorcycle when he snatched the cranes, which were "very special" to the owner because her deceased husband had given them to her. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said the girlfriend was "mortified" and cooperated with law enforcement. Lewis, who has 39 priors, was arrested. "If this guy's in the area, he'll steal it," Judd said. [Fox13, 2/14/2024]

Repeat Offenders

In Washington, D.C., a Walgreens store has been robbed at least once a month since July 2023, WUSA-TV reported. On Feb. 13, Metropolitan Police Chief Pamela A. Smith announced that three men had been arrested in connection with the robberies -- including the store's manager. In every robbery, she said, 24-year-old Kamanye Williams allegedly entered the storeroom and waited for an employee to open a secure door. Then he demanded money and fled. Michael Robinson, 33, the manager, and his nephew, 26-year-old Gianni Robinson, were also arrested and charged with conspiracy to interfere with interstate commerce by robbery. Smith said Williams was in touch with both men before and after each robbery. [WUSA, 2/14/2024]

Police Report

Three Chesterfield County (South Carolina) sheriff's deputies were charged on Feb. 12 with misconduct in office, criminal conspiracy and breach of peace, Queen City News reported. Justin Reichard, Darien Roseau and Killian Loflin are accused of making prank phone calls to other law enforcement agencies, reporting hoax emergencies -- including the discovery of a dead body. "The hoax calls caused emergency responses from law enforcement and/or other emergency responders," the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division reported. Officers tracked the phone number where the calls came from to one of the former deputies. All three are free, awaiting trial. [Queen City News, 2/14/2023]