As the November presidential election looms, with incumbent Joe Biden, 81, and former President Donald Trump, 77, squaring off again, some American voters would like to see literally anybody else on the ballot -- and Literally Anybody Else, of North Richland Hills, Texas, wants to give them that chance. A 35-year-old seventh-grade math teacher and U.S. Army veteran who legally changed his name from Dustin Ebey, the candidate says his goal is to inspire change. "America should not be stuck choosing between the 'King of Debt' (his self-declaration) and an 81-year-old," reads the declaration on Else's campaign website. "Literally Anybody Else isn't just a person, it's a rally cry." NBC-5 Dallas Fort Worth reports that Else needs the signatures of 113,151 registered voters who did not vote in the presidential primary, by May 13, in order to run as an independent candidate. [NBC-5, 3/28/24]

Ssssurvivor!

We've heard of dogs and cats going missing, only to turn up at their owners' doorsteps weeks, months or even years later; now we can add snakes to that list. The BBC reported that the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals were recently called to a residence in Spennymoor, County Durham, to rescue a 3-foot-long corn snake atop a garage roof; the snake had escaped a crow that attempted to carry it off. When a neighbor came by to see the rescued critter, she recognized it as her pet snake, Agnus, who had been missing for a year. RSPCA inspector John Lawson was surprised the snake had survived out in the cold for so long. "The vet believes Agnus had gone into brumation mode, similar to hibernation, and her body had shut down in order to survive," Lawson said. Agnus received treatment for a respiratory infection before being reunited with her owner. [BBC, 3/28/24]

Have It Your Way, Pal

Some people go to extremes to get a great deal, but on March 31, one disgruntled customer at a Burger King drive-thru in Willowick, Ohio, pulled a firearm on an employee who was trying to give him a discount on his breakfast items. The employee, Howard Vernon, 38, told WOIO-19 News that when he gave the customer his total, the man argued that it should cost more. "I'm, like, trying to explain to him that we had a promotion going on ... and he started cussing and getting all loud," Vernon said. The enraged man drove his gray Honda sedan out of the drive-thru but quickly returned, then stepped out of his car and pointed a gun at Vernon. After threatening him and calling him racial slurs, the man returned to his car and sped away. "It was about some bread and sausage sandwiches at 9 o'clock in the morning on Easter," Vernon said, "and you're that mad that you’d put a gun in somebody's face?" Authorities are still searching for the customer. [WOIO-19, 4/1/24]

Male Pattern Boldness

Hey, fugitives have feelings, too! After the Avon and Somerset Police posted a wanted notice on Facebook on April 1 describing Daniel Kellaway, a wanted fugitive, as "white, about 5 ft. 9 in., of average build, with brown eyes, receding hairline ...," Kellaway (or someone claiming to be him) replied, "No need to mention the hairline, guys." A comment posted by the same account the next day reminded the police that Kellaway's birthday had passed since the information was compiled for the notice, and that he was now 29. Kellaway is being sought in connection with driving offenses, criminal damage and threatening behavior, so while social media users got a kick out of Kellaway's comical posts, authorities have warned the public not to approach him and to call authorities if he is spotted. [The Independent, 3/3/24]

Ghastly

After having lurked quietly on the shelves of Harvard's Houghton Library for the better part of a century, the philosophical meditation "Des Destinees de l'Ame" has undergone a facelift, according to a statement issued by the library in March. The book was acquired by the school in 1934, along with a note explaining the process of preserving human skin. The book's previous owner, an eccentric French bibliophile named Dr. Ludovic Bouland, claimed to have added the "human touch" (read: human skin) to his prize because "a book about the human soul deserved to have a human covering." The cover's origin could not be confirmed until 2014, and NBC News reported that this eventually led to an ethical review in 2023 and the recent decision to rebind the book in something less macabre. [NBC News, 3/28/2024]

Youth Inaction

Young people are cutting loose and losing their blues in Cambodia, but rather than embracing the "Footloose" of it all, the Guardian reports that Prime Minister Hun Manet is cracking down on the source: vehicle owners and operators who replace their cars' standard horns with ones that blast popular tunes. So enticing are these familiar refrains that young Cambodians are literally dancing in the streets, which the prime minister says poses a traffic hazard. He has directed the ministry of public works and transportation, along with Cambodia's police force, to crack down on vehicle operators whose horns emit anything other than the standard honk. [Guardian, 3/19/24]

-- Students and parents at Alston Ridge Elementary in Cary, North Carolina, have been dealing with a unique carpool annoyance: an aggressive pest of a turkey. WTVD in Durham reports that the bird pecks at cars, windows, people -- any perceived threat in "his" territory. "This was a young male turkey who probably was looking for a mate ... and was unable to find one," said Cary Animal Services Officer Beth Wilson. "He was trying to claim a territory, and I guess he decided the carpool lane was going to be it." Wilson predicts Lonely Tom will chill out -- just as soon as his hormones die down. [WTVD, 4/3/24]

Heart in the Right Place

Thinking she had spotted an abandoned baby hedgehog on the side of the road, an animal lover in England carefully gathered the creature into a box lined with newspaper and took it home, setting out some cat food and leaving it undisturbed overnight. After realizing it hadn’t moved or eaten, she took the box to Lower Moss Wood Nature Reserve & Wildlife Hospital in Cheshire the next morning, where hospital manager Janet Kotze "realized ... it wasn't a hedgehog." The fluffy, spiky, hedgehog-colored "creature" was actually the pom-pom from a winter beanie. Because the elderly rescuer had kept her distance through the night, she hadn't noticed the ball's lack of eyes or ears. But her compassion melted the staff members' hearts; Kotze said the woman "did absolutely the right thing -- aside from the fact that it wasn't a hedgehog." [NY Post, 3/27/24]

All the Luck

A Pennsylvania shopper took home one heck of a gift-with-purchase: the cashier's diamond wedding ring. Cindy Tristani, a cashier at a Burlington in Uniontown, told WPXI-TV that she looked down during her shift and realized her ring was gone. Her co-workers joined her in a panicked search, but found nothing. In what she called "a long shot," Tristani posted on a local Facebook group's page: "If anyone was shopping at Burlington Uniontown today, I think my diamond ring might have fell in someone's bag." This all happened on Tristani's mother's birthday -- "She's been dead for three years, but she could always find anything" -- so the cashier included a plea to her mom in a quick prayer before getting back to work. Lo and behold, customer Cait Giles checked Facebook on the way home (no, she wasn't driving), saw the post and checked her shopping bags. Jackpot! Returning the missing ring "made my heart so full," Giles said. "It was the best moment." [WPXI-TV, 3/29/24]

NBC News reported on March 21 about a Tennessee man suffering from prosopometamorphopsia, also known as PMO -- a neurological disorder that causes victims to perceive faces in distorted shapes, size, texture or color. In Victor Sharrah's case, he sees faces as demonic. The 59-year-old of Clarksville said it started in November 2020: "My first thought was I woke up in a demon world," he said. "You can't imagine how scary it was." Sharrah sees the distortions only in person, not in pictures or on computer screens. Consequently, he was able to work with researchers at Dartmouth College to create a visual representation of what he sees vs. reality. There are fewer than 100 reported cases of PMO; symptoms can continue for years, as Sharrah's have, or can resolve after just a few days. [NBC News, 3/21/2024]

Awesome!

Punxsutawney Phil and his wife (?), Phyllis, have big news: They are parents to two healthy babies, the Associated Press reported. "Phil and Phyllis have started a family," said Thomas Dunkel, president of The Inner Circle, part of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club. "I talked to Phil with my cane, which lets me speak Groundhogese, and Phil could not be more excited." (OK, Thomas.) Phil and Phyllis live in climate-controlled quarters at the Punxsutawney Memorial Library, but plans are in place to move them to larger quarters on the grounds now that their family is growing. Dunkel said the offspring will not become Punxsutawney Phil, because Phil is immortal, having drunk "The Elixir of Life," which Phyllis is prohibited from imbibing. (Uh, yeah, OK, Thomas.) [AP, 3/28/2024]

Police Report

In 2024, California started prohibiting police departments from sharing photos of suspects in nonviolent crimes, United Press International reported. Accordingly, the Murrieta Police Department started using emojis, characters from movies and, most recently, Lego head images to cover the faces of suspects when they posted on social media. But now, Lt. Jeremy Durrant said, the Lego heads have to go. "The Lego Group reached out to us and respectfully asked us to refrain from using their intellectual property in our social media content, which ... we understand and will comply with." [UPI, 3/25/2024]

Bright Ideas

-- A 47-year-old man was arrested in Parowan, Utah, on March 17 after multiple drivers reported him from I-15, KSL-TV reported. Callers said the man's pickup truck had "red and blue flashing lights and they were getting other vehicles to move out of their way," police said. What tipped them off? The pickup also had a construction company logo on the side. The suspect indicated he was only trying to get through traffic faster, not pull anyone over. He also tested positive for "cannabis, amphetamines and methamphetamine," and he had a small bag of white powder that he said he uses "to stay awake while driving." He was booked into the Iron County Jail. [KSL, 3/25/2024]

-- Emma Keen, 42, of Wales, was on the fourth day of her trek to Mount Everest Base Camp in March to raise money for the Kidney Wales Foundation, Wales Online reported. As she FaceTimed with her brother and sister-in-law, she showed them a yak standing about 2 meters away. "Without warning I could hear the hoofs pounding toward me, a sharp stabbing pain in the top of my leg," Keen said. The yak was readying for another run at her when she was helped away and airlifted to a hospital, where she got 10 stitches. She later rejoined the group to finish the hike on horseback. "My charity means a lot to me as my brother Peter is currently on the transplant list," Keen said. "It was important that I continue with the trek." [Wales Online, 3/24/2024]

Wait, What?

Dairy cows in Kansas and Texas have tested positive for bird flu, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. The Associated Press reported that while the virus is affecting cows in those states and in New Mexico, officials say there is no danger to the commercial milk supply because of production regulations and pasteurization, which kills viruses. USDA officials think the cows caught the virus from wild birds. They appear to have coldlike symptoms, but typically recover within 10 days. [AP, 3/26/2024]

Government in Action

-- A state Senate panel in South Carolina is investigating a mystery involving $1.8 billion, the Associated Press reported on March 26. The huge sum has accumulated over the last decade in a bank account, but authorities don't know where the money is coming from or where it's supposed to go. "It does not inspire confidence," said Gov. Henry McMaster. "But the good news is no money was lost." Meanwhile, state officers are pointing fingers at each other, and lawmakers are annoyed that the money is sitting idle while requests from state agencies are going unfulfilled. "There is no need to hurry up and try to spend it," McMaster said. [AP, 3/26/2024]

-- In Oakland, California, 102-year-old Victor Silva Sr. received a citation earlier in March from the city about the graffiti on his fence, KTVU-TV reported. If he didn't remove it, he'd face a $1,100 fine, plus $1,277 for each failed reinspection. Before Silva started using a wheelchair, he'd paint over the graffiti himself. Now, Silva Jr., 70, has that task. "It's hard to keep up with it because as soon as we get it painted, it's gonna be graffiti on it again, and it won't last," he said. The family owns a business nearby that's been broken into three times in the last year. "It's hard to understand where our tax dollars are going," Silva Jr. said. "They can't answer 911, but they can come out and hassle you about a fence?" The city inspector is expected to review the case and, most likely, cancel the citation. [KTVU, 3/20/2024]

The Continuing Crisis

Easter is obviously NOT a good time for an egg shortage, as Norwegians are finding out. The Associated Press reported that as a result of bird flu and overproduction, which led the country to ask farmers to reduce their production, eggs are not only hard to find, but are expensive when you can get your hands on them. So Norwegians are crossing the border to Sweden, where 20-packs of eggs are readily available and cost about $3.70 -- 30% less than in Norway. The Maxi-Mat food store in Sweden about 62 miles south of Oslo has been filled with "desperate" shoppers, the Norwegian news outlet Nettavisen reported. Wonder if any of them had large ears and a colorful basket? [AP, 3/28/2024]

It's Come to This

Remember the life-saving door at the end of "Titanic"? The one that Rose and Jack couldn't both fit on? At Heritage Auctions in Dallas on March 23, the Balsa wood panel used in the movie sold for $718,750 to an anonymous buyer, The New York Times reported. The auction liquidated a large trove of items from Planet Hollywood, including Indiana Jones' whip and Jack's ax from "The Shining." No word yet on whether the new owner has tested the door's width to see if Jack might have, after all, survived. [New York Times, 3/26/2024]

Deputy chief physician of pediatric neurosurgery Dr. Li at Hangzhou Children's Hospital in China shared a video on social media on March 11 after a baby boy was born sporting a 4-inch-long tail, WION reported. The doctor suspected a condition called a tethered spinal cord, which means the spinal cord is abnormally connected to surrounding tissues, typically at the base of the spine. Doctors advised against removing the tail, as doing so might result in irreversible damage. [WION, 3/16/2024]

Precocious

Three boys, aged 11, 12 and 16, were taken into custody on March 19 after they robbed a Wells Fargo bank in Houston on March 15, KTRK-TV reported. The kids handed a threatening note to a bank teller; the Harris County Sheriff's Office believes they were armed, but they did not present a weapon. After the FBI released surveillance footage, parents of two of the boys identified them. The "little rascals," as they've been dubbed, are facing second-degree felony charges. "The age of the younger two, that's unusual for a bank robbery," noted Mike Schneider, a retired juvenile district court judge. [KTRK, 3/20/2024]

Repeat Offender

A 23-year-old Frenchman will get to stay a little longer in Norway than he anticipated after racking up 25 speeding tickets in just 19 days, Yahoo! News reported. The Oslo district court called the speeder a "danger in traffic" and sentenced him to 24 days in prison, which was reduced to 21 days when he pleaded guilty. Most of the infractions were caught on fixed speed cameras, which the driver was unaware of. He was also relieved of his driver's license. [Yahoo! News, 3/18/2024]

Great Art

Mexican artist Chavis Marmol, 42, carved a giant head from stone, inspired by the carvings of the Olmec people, and then lowered it onto a used Tesla 3 using a crane, France24 reported. The art installation, in a vacant lot in Mexico City, was intended to "troll Elon Musk," said the artist. "Look what I do to your lousy car with this wonderful head. This is bigger than you and the rampant technologies." Tesla has recently announced a plan to build a factory in northern Mexico. "It's the wonderful thing about art, it allows you these atrocities," said Marmol. [France24, 3/14/2024]

Family Values

-- Alyssa Langley and Timothy Stephens, both 27, were arrested in Daytona Beach, Florida, on March 16 after they both passed out on the beach, leaving their two children to wander to a nearby hotel pool, ClickOrlando reported. When the Volusia County Sheriff's deputy asked where the children were, Stephens walked toward the ocean, calling for them, and saying "They're at the beach." He later tried to run away but fell on the beach and appeared unconscious. He faces charges of child neglect, alcohol possession and attempt to escape custody; Langley faces child neglect charges. The kids were unharmed. [ClickOrlando, 3/19/2024]

-- Police in Riverside, California, arrested Samuel Davalos Pasillas, 47 -- who claimed to be a pastor in Victorville -- in late March for hiring two men to kill his daughter's boyfriend, ABC7-TV reported. The hitmen surveilled the victim for months before the shooting, which took place on Oct. 21, 2023. As the victim sat in his car, they drove up next to him and shot him, wounding him. Police also arrested Juan Manuel Cebreros, 55, of Long Beach; they are still looking for Jesus Abel Felix Garcia. The church's real pastor, Rafael Porras, told reporters that Pasillas was a volunteer, not a pastor. [ABC7, 3/20/2024]

Florida

The World Health Organization reported that leprosy is on the rise, particularly in Florida, Newsweek reported on March 22. The number of infections has more than doubled in the last 10 years, and the disease is often associated with exposure to ... armadillos. About a fifth of the U.S. cases were reported in Florida. "People may become infected from other people with untreated leprosy or from the nine-banded armadillo, a natural host of the bacteria causing the disease," said Francisca Mutapi, co-director of the Global Health Academy at the University of Edinburgh. [Newsweek, 3/22/2024]

Bright Idea

An employee of Chilthern Railways in the United Kingdom is marking the 125th birthday of the Marylebone station -- and her own 20th anniversary with the railroad -- by changing her name to Rehana Marylebone Khawaja, Metro News reported. She said she would have made it her first name had her children not objected. "The station itself is not big. But it's got a soul," she said. "It's warm and welcoming. Not every London station is like that." Khawaja started in a ticket office and now works in security. [Metro News, 3/19/2024]

Oopsie

A woman who just wanted to watch a livestream of a funeral became a viral sensation after she accidentally left the camera on while she took a shower, the Daily Mail reported on March 21. The Zoom broadcast was also being shown on a big screen to in-person mourners at the church in North London. The funeral was for a father of three who had died of cancer. Even worse, the woman apparently turned up at the wake later with no idea what she had done -- until "ten minutes later crying her eyes out," as one mourner said. [Daily Mail, 3/21/2024]

Compelling Explanation

Michelle Young, 46, of Burlington, Iowa, thought she was at a friend's house on March 19, but the friend didn't answer the door. So Young allegedly lit some items on fire on the front porch, KWQC-TV reported. She told police she saw a sign on the porch that said "Witches Welcome," and she's a witch, so she set a fire -- but she wasn't going to hurt anyone or let the fire get out of control. The homeowner, who identified Young from her surveillance camera, said she did not know her. Young was charged with reckless use of fire and possession of drug paraphernalia. [KWQC, 3/20/2024]

Least Competent Criminal

When Daniel Allegretto Jr., 19, nearly struck a parked police car with his Honda Accord in Luzerne County, Pennsylvania, on March 15, he set off a chase that ended with his arrest -- and not just for bad driving, WBRE-TV reported. Investigators found Allegretto, of Freeland, Pennsylvania, was allegedly carrying 2,200 individual doses of fentanyl, 250 grams of methamphetamine, illegal steroids, cash and materials used to process and package drugs. He was held on a $125,000 bail. [WBRE, 3/19/2024]

Fine Points of the Law

If you're going to cheat on your spouse, maybe move to New York. The Associated Press reported on March 22 that the seldom-used law against committing adultery may be overturned in the New York Legislature. Only about a dozen people have been charged of the misdemeanor crime in New York since 1972. "We've come a long way since intimate relationships between consenting adults are considered immoral," said Assemblyman Charles Lavine. "It's a joke." Heads-up: Adultery is still a felony offense in Oklahoma, Wisconsin and Michigan. [AP, 3/22/2024]

Ewwwww

On March 20, a 34-year-old man went to the hospital in Quang Ninh Province, China, with severe abdominal cramps, Oddity Central reported. He was in too much pain to talk, so doctors took an X-ray and an ultrasound, where they saw something unusual in his abdomen. During surgery, they discovered a nearly foot-long live eel. The patient was unable to explain how the eel might have gotten into his abdominal cavity, but doctors surmised that it entered his body through his anus and bit through the intestine. The patient is doing fine. [Oddity Central, 3/21/2024]