Corey Harris, 44, attended his pre-trial hearing on driving with a suspended license remotely, over Zoom, on May 15, The New York Times reported. No problem with that, but as Harris checked into the meeting with the Washtenaw County District Court in Michigan, he told the judge, "I'm pulling into my doctor's office, actually, so just give me one second, I'm parking right now." Huh. Video showed Harris in the driver's seat and turning the wheel as he located a parking spot. "So maybe I don't understand something," Judge J. Cedric Simpson said. "This is a driver with a license suspended?" Harris' attorney, Natalie Pate, confirmed the charge. "And he was just driving?" Simpson asked. Seconds of silence went by, with Harris appearing to realize his mistake. "That is correct, your honor," Pate said. "I don't know why he would do that," the judge answered, right before he revoked Harris' bond and ordered him to turn himself in by 6 p.m. His next hearing is on June 5. [New York Times, 5/29/2024]

Clothing Optional

A Virgin Australia flight headed for Melbourne had to return to Perth on May 27 after a man allegedly ran naked down the aisle shortly after takeoff, The Guardian reported. Police said the man also "knocked a crew member to the floor." One passenger reported "a lot of yelling and screaming" near the cockpit as the man charged forward. The man was pinned to the floor by air marshals; he was then handcuffed and led to the rear of the plane. Federal police met the aircraft on its return to Perth and arrested him. [The Guardian, 5/28/2024]

Enough Is Enough

-- Lopburi, Thailand, also known as monkey town, has had it up to HERE with about 2,500 marauding macaques terrorizing the townsfolk, the Associated Press reported. As such, on May 24, the town launched the first phase of a plan to catch and remove the monkeys: cages baited with rambutan fruit, their favorite. The problem? The simians are smart: "If some of them go into the cage and are caught, the others outside won't enter the cage ... because they've already learnt what's happened to their friends," said Patarapol Maneeorn from the Department of National Parks, Wildlife and Plant Conservation. Lopburi's mayor said that while the monkeys bring in tourists, shops and malls have lost income and people's homes have been damaged. Those that are caught will be sterilized and tattooed so they can be tracked. Then they'll move to large holding pens, where they'll await repatriation. [AP, 5/24/2024]

-- In Snettisham, Norfolk, in the U.K., it's feral chickens that are plaguing the town. The flock of 100 or so chickens dig up gardens and are so loud that residents have to use earplugs at night, United Press International reported. The Snettisham Parish Council said it is "seeking specialist advice from various sources," but some residents object to the idea of moving the chickens away. "They are part of the fabric of the village," said chicken supporter Rebecca Chilvers. The council invited residents to a meeting to air their opinions. [UPI, 5/28/2024]

Fan-atic

Tara Berry of Topeka, Kansas, has secured a Guinness World Record for the most tattoos of the same musician on her body, United Press International reported on May 23. Berry, who sports 18 tattoos of Madonna, said she got the first one in 2016. The inks span the singer's career. Berry estimated she's spent nearly $10,000 on them. [UPI, 5/23/2024]

RIP

The Smoking Gun reported on May 24 that the world's most arrested man, Henry Earl, 74, had passed away. Earl racked up more than 1,500 arrests in his lifetime and spent 6,000 nights in jail. Since 2017, he had lived in a nursing home in Owenton, Kentucky, near where his first arrest took place in July 1970 (for carrying a concealed weapon). Most of his offenses were fueled by alcohol and didn't include violent crimes. He was laid to rest in the Owenton cemetery. [The Smoking Gun, 5/24/2024]

Weird Warfare

The South Korean military announced on May 29 that it had found 260 balloons that had drifted across the demilitarized zone between it and North Korea, The New York Times reported. The balloons were carrying bags full of ... trash, such as cigarette butts, used shoes and compost. The bags were reportedly released according to timers attached to the balloons. "We issue a stern warning to North Korea to stop this anti-humanitarian and dirty operation," South Korea warned. But North Korea pledged to send more to exercise its "freedom of expression." [New York Times, 5/29/2024]

It's Nice To Have a Hobby

For 10 years, residents of North Enid Avenue in Azusa, California, have been putting up with a pesky nuisance: a serial slingshot shooter. The New York Times reported that people would find broken windows on their cars or homes and little ball bearings strewn about. "Many times I came outside, and I would find little BBs by the front door," said Monica Palomino. Finally, police have nabbed the vandal: 81-year-old Prince Raymond King, who also lives on the block. Azusa Police Cpl. Benjamin Cypher said several recent incidents had allowed them to narrow their search down to King's address, where they found the slingshot and ball bearings. "We're not aware of any kind of motive other than just malicious mischief," Lt. Jake Bushey said. King was ordered to stay away from his neighborhood and return to court on June 17. He pleaded not guilty. [New York Times, 5/29/2024]

Awesome!

-- Ulysses Whitfield, 85, retired this week from driving a school bus for Suffolk (Virginia) Public Schools, WAVY-TV reported. Over his 70-year career (yep, you read that right), he took only two half-days off. "During that time, students could drive," Whitfield said of the beginning of his career in 1954. He delivered students through changes in technology and racial upheaval, he said, "But it was smooth with me, though. I didn't have any problems with the kids at all. Respect the kids, and you will receive respect from them." Whitfield plans to come back part-time in the fall to train his replacement "to make sure the run is done nice and smooth, like I was doing it. I have good kids. I'm going to miss them, I know it." [WAVY, 5/30/2024]

-- This year's graduation at Arizona State University included a remarkable scholar: 18-year-old Dorothy Jean Tillman II of Chicago, who received her doctorate in integrated behavior health, The New York Times reported. Tillman started college when she was just 9 years old; by 14, she had a Master of Science degree. Tillman also started the Dorothy Jeanius STEAM Leadership Institute in Chicago to support Black youth interested in STEM and the arts. But this super-achiever also does teenage stuff: On May 22, she went to prom with her best friend, and she hopes to have a "fun teenage summer": "I want to focus on who I am," she said. [NY Times, 5/22/2024]

It's a Mystery

On May 18 in New Orleans, a fisher using a magnet pulled some mysterious objects from Bayou St. John, according to NOLA.com: a handgun, a gun barrel and a "fully decomposed human skull" that was padlocked to a 15-pound dumbbell. The New Orleans Police Department said the skull was "lacking a jaw or the top row of teeth." The department's dive team and cadaver dogs searched the area three days later but without success; the coroner said identifying the skull could take months. [NOLA.com, 5/28/2024

Groundskeepers at the Wisconsin state capitol in Madison were tasked with removing some invasive plants from a tulip bed on May 16, the Associated Press reported. It seems someone planted cannabis amongst the blooms, according to Shelby Ellison, a botanist from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. "It was just a large number of plants for it to be anything accidental," she said. She was unable to determine whether the plants were marijuana or hemp; marijuana is still illegal in Wisconsin. [AP, 5/17/2024]

News You Can Use

-- Are tacos sandwiches? Martin Quintana, 53, has hoped to open a second The Famous Taco location in Fort Wayne, Indiana, for a few years. However, businesses in the development he was eyeing are limited to "sandwich bar-style restaurants whose primary business is to sell 'made-to-order' or 'subway-style' sandwiches" -- so Quintana was shut out. He sued, the Associated Press reported, and on May 15, Superior Court Judge Craig Bobay laid down the law: "(T)acos and burritos are Mexican-style sandwiches." Quintana said the new location should be open in two to three months. [AP, 5/17/2024]

-- At the Krefeld Zoo in Germany, Jan, a Linne's two-toed sloth, celebrated his 54th birthday on April 30, making him the oldest living sloth in captivity -- ever, United Press International reported. Zookeepers said Jan, who regularly sports a silk robe and cravat, is in terrific health and, as proof, he just fathered his 22nd offspring. [UPI, 5/16/2024]

Inexplicable

-- Police in Pasadena, California, arrested Art Leon Berian, 63, on May 16 after an investigation revealed he had been setting off explosions in his neighborhood, KABC-TV reported. Berian is believed to be responsible for more than 150 unidentified booms over nearly two years, police said. Most happened in the middle of the night, but while collecting evidence, police heard a loud explosion and saw a white BMW drive through the resulting cloud of smoke. Evidence from that explosion was found in Berian's car. No injuries have resulted from the bombs; Berian is charged with three felonies, and bond was set at $1.5 million. [KABC, 5/21/2024]

-- A 45-year-old man identified as Omar B. was located in a neighbor's house in Djelfa, Algeria, after being missing for 26 years, Gulf News reported. Omar disappeared in 1998 during the Algerian Civil War; his family assumed he had been kidnapped or killed. His captor, a 61-year-old doorman, was taken into custody after he tried to flee; Omar told officials on May 14 that he couldn't call out for help "because of a spell that his captor had cast on him." Omar is receiving medical and psychological help. [Gulf News, 5/14/2024]

Police Report

The Escambia County (Florida) Sheriff's Office, on the lookout for David Jerome Jackson, 31, found him in a heated situation on May 17, the New York Post reported. Jackson was wanted for a March 15 shooting in Pensacola. "After an extensive search," police said, "deputies ... finally discovered Jackson, folded, not so neatly inside a remarkably small dryer drum. He was pulled from the dryer one limb at a time." Jackson is being held on $120,000 bail at the Escambia County Jail. [NY Post, 5/21/2024]

Recent Alarming Headline

"Priest Accused of Biting Woman During Communion," Click Orlando announced on May 23. On May 19, an unnamed woman attended Mass at St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church in St. Cloud, Florida, where she attempted to take Communion. Father Fidel, however, allegedly refused to give her Communion bread because he said she had not confessed her sins. The priest said the woman pushed him and grabbed the tray of Communion bread, which is a no-no, and "the only way he thought to extract her from it was to bite her arm," according to police. The priest has not yet been charged. [Click Orlando, 5/23/2024]

The Passing Parade

Have plans for June 8? If you're free, head on down to Ocala, Florida, for the fourth annual Great Florida Bigfoot Conference. Click Orlando reported that the gathering will include "an all-star lineup of Bigfoot researchers, investigators and authors ready to interact with fans," along with exclusive merch for sale. You might even want to get in on the "Share Your Experience" forum, where you can relate your personal Bigfoot encounter stories. Organizers recommend buying tickets in advance. [Click Orlando, 5/20/2024]

Awesome!

-- Cicadas are definitely in the news this summer, but the one Kelly Simkins discovered on May 20 in the Orland Grassland near Chicago is literally one in a million, People reported. Simkins, the owner of Merlin's Rocking Pet Show, was hunting cicadas to feed to her reptiles when she came across one with blue eyes. Most of the vociferous bugs have red eyes. "I just thought it was unique," she said -- and she was right. Dr. Gene Kritsky, dean of Behavioral and Natural Sciences at Mount St. Joseph University in Cincinnati, said the picture of the blue-eyed insect from Orland Grassland is one of only two he has seen this year so far. He said the cause of the different-colored eyes is unclear. [People, 5/22/2024]

-- Winemaker Andreas Pernerstorfer of Gobelsburg, Austria, was renovating his wine cellar in early May when he came across an unexpected find: a number of huge bones, which were later identified as being from at least three Stone Age mammoths. "I thought it was just a piece of wood left by my grandfather," Pernerstorfer told the BBC. "Then I remembered that in the past my grandfather said he had found teeth." Researchers from the Austrian Archaeological Institute have been excavating since the discovery. The bones are believed to be between 30,000 and 40,000 years old. Eventually, they'll end up at the Vienna Museum of Natural History. [BBC, 5/22/2024]

Oops!

Charlotte Russ of Fresno, California, and her kids visited Pismo Beach late last year, where the children collected seashells -- 72 of them, ABC7-TV reported on May 23. "My kids thought they were collecting seashells, but they were actually collecting clams," Russ said. Sounds like the makings of a big party, but instead Russ got a ticket on the spot and later got a notice of a fine: $88,000. "It kind of ruined our trip," she said. Lucky for her, a San Luis Obispo County judge understood the confusion and reduced her fine to $500. "It was definitely one expensive trip to Pismo," Russ said. [ABC7, 5/23/2024]

What's in a Name?

Sandra Rogers, 80, of Dunedin, Florida, lives on Peaceful Lane, but it may be time to rename the street. On May 17, The Smoking Gun reported, Rogers left her home and walked over to a neighbor's house, where John Faraone, 72, was washing his motorcycle. Police said Rogers first "engaged in a verbal argument regarding his water usage" and took pictures of Faraone with her phone. Then things escalated: Rogers allegedly spit on Faraone and "pulled on the victim's beard." A witness confirmed that Rogers was the "primary aggressor." Rogers was arrested on May 20 with a third-degree felony charge. She was freed on $100 bond and ordered to have no contact with Faraone. [The Smoking Gun, 5/22/2024]

Unclear on the Concept

Joel Solorzano Villeda, 33, of Little Rock, Iowa, was pulled over on May 12 after being "all over the road" in Rock Rapids. The Smoking Gun reported that Villeda showed signs of intoxication, had an open beer can and also had methamphetamine. When asked for ID, Villeda produced a Minnesota driver's license, which described him as 8 feet tall. Villeda is actually 5 feet, 8 inches tall; he was charged with narcotics possession, operating a vehicle while intoxicated and providing a false ID. Cops also learned he had an outstanding warrant in another Iowa county. [The Smoking Gun, 5/15/2024]

"Father Justin," an AI priest created by Catholic Answers, a Christian group in San Diego, was defrocked on April 24 after claiming to users that he was a real member of the clergy and performing sacraments, the New York Post reported. Holy Justin told users he was a priest in Assisi, Italy. He shared his views on sexual issues and took confession, concluding with, "Go in peace, my child, and sin no more." He also advised one user that they could use Gatorade to baptize their child. Christopher Check, president of Catholic Answers, explained: "We chose the character to convey a quality of knowledge and authority ... Many people, however, have voiced concerns about this choice." The avatar was rebranded as Virtual Apologist Justin, minus the cassock and collar, after an uproar about his behavior. "We won't say he's been laicized," Check said, "because he was never a real priest!" [NY Post, 4/26/2024]

Internationals Behaving Badly

Artist Benediktas Gylys went live with his installation "Portal" on May 14, United Press International reported. "Portal" is a live video stream connecting New York City with Dublin, Ireland. But it was switched off the same day because of "instances of inappropriate behavior" that have been "amplified on social media." The naughty actions included swearing, nudity and displays of images from the 9/11 terror attacks in New York. "I thought the people of Dublin deserved to see my two New York homegrown potatoes," said Ava Louise, who bared her breasts to "Portal." Governments on both sides of the pond are considering actions to take to curb the bad behavior. [UPI, 5/14/2024]

It's a Mystery

On April 25, an employee at the Avalon Theater in Marysville, Ohio, who had noticed a person acting suspiciously the night before, discovered a treasure in the restroom: $25,000 in cash, WBNS-TV reported. Two days later, $12,000 turned up in a KFC restroom. "I would absolutely say they are connected in some way," said police Capt. Nate Sachs. Authorities determined that the money is legitimate. "One is just weird in and of itself," Sachs said, "but two times in one week is definitely another level." He encouraged citizens to call police if they find any more cash to "help us with our investigation." [WBNS, 5/3/2024]

Questionable Judgment

-- On May 2 in Johnson County, Kansas, the district attorney charged 21-year-old Jace Christian Hanson, of Kansas City, Missouri, with unlawfully adulterating or contaminating food, a felony, at the Hereford House restaurant in Leawood, Kansas. The Kansas City Star reported that Hanson was connected with videos posted online showing him urinating into restaurant-style food containers and rubbing food on his body parts, including his feet. The FBI, which received a tip, contacted the restaurant after pinging Hanson's phone and finding his car in the parking lot; the head chef confirmed that the au jus container shown in one video belonged to the Hereford House. When asked about it, Hanson said, "I'll just be straight up, yeah." He said men online, whom he had met through dating apps, had asked him to make the videos and revealed that he had committed more than 20 incidents of contaminating food. The restaurant destroyed all its food and sanitized the kitchen and adjacent areas. Gives a whole new meaning to "au jus." [KC Star, 5/8/2024]

-- Firelands Elementary School in Henrietta Township, Ohio, was locked down on May 1 after a sasquatch was spotted running past classroom windows, WKYC-TV reported. Superintendent Michael Von Gunten said a person in a Bigfoot costume parked in one of the district's lots, "crossed our campus and caused the district to enter into a lockdown." Kids outside on recess were quickly moved indoors. Bigfoot never made it inside any of the buildings; the Lorain County sheriff's office revealed the person in the costume was a parent pulling a prank. The parent was pulled over in a traffic stop, but no charges have been filed yet. [WKYC, 5/3/2024]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Middleburg Heights, Ohio, residents who were hoping to do business at the Social Security office there were turned away in early May, News 5 reported on May 2. It wasn't computer issues or flooding that shut the office down, though. Michael Murphy, president of the Local 3448 of the American Federation of Government Employees, said the problem was raccoons. "There's urine stains on the tiles. The smoke detectors came falling down. ... (A)pparently the animals may be eating through the wiring." When 25% of the lighting went out, employees got in touch with Murphy. "These employees were reporting concerns of noises above the ceiling as early as January," he said. The SSA released a statement saying the office would reopen "as soon as possible." [News 5, 5/2/2024]

No Longer Weird

The last four years have brought about 700 reports of orcas attacking boats. On May 12, in the Strait of Gibraltar, a 49-foot-long vessel called Alboran Cognac sank after repeated blows from a group of orcas, Reuters reported. The yacht carried two people, who felt the shocks before water started seeping in. They alerted rescue services, and a nearby oil tanker took them in. Researchers don't know why the animals attack ships. [Reuters, 5/13/2024]

Awesome!

World War II veteran Roger Wonson of Beverly, Massachusetts, turned 100 years old on April 20, CBS News reported. Wonson celebrated with his family and friends and a custom cake -- and by playing drums with his band, The Current Voltage, at his senior living facility on April 24. Wonson also played saxophone during the performance. He said his brother got him into drumming: "When he was 18 and I was 12 ... I said, 'Gee, can I practice on the drums?' and he said, 'Sure.' So that's the way it started." The Current Voltage includes some of his fellow residents and staffers from the facility. [CBS News, 4/24/2024]

Least Competent Criminal

An unnamed woman who had been accused of stealing a car was released from jail on May 3 in Boulder, Colorado. Upon her release, she walked down the road until she found a truck with the keys inside, the Associated Press reported. She got as far as starting the truck, but when she was confronted with the truck's manual transmission, she got out and walked off, leaving the truck to roll forward and hit a fire hydrant. She was arrested again and has a May 30 court date for multiple offenses. [AP, 5/9/2024]

Stickin' It to the Man

Etienne Constable received a letter in July 2023 from Seaside, California, asking him to conceal the boat he'd had parked in his driveway for about four years, The Washington Post reported. The city said boats and trailers must be "screened on the side and front by a 6-foot fence." Constable installed a fence -- and hired his neighbor, mural artist Hanif Panni, to paint a photorealistic image of the boat and the rest of the driveway on the side of the fence that faces the road. The mural was completed in early May. "We kind of hit the sweet spot between following the rules and making an elegant statement to the contrary," Constable said. Nick Borges, Seaside's city manager, admired the work and said, "The only action I'm going to take is a high five, and that's it." [Washington Post, 5/11/2024]