Mary Jacobs, 77, of Newmarket, England, tried to sell her prized collection of bedpans at auction in July, the Suffolk News reported on July 29, but there were no takers. Jacobs said she started collecting bedpans in 1984: "I just wanted to collect something different," she said. "It snowballed from there." Now, with 160 unique items, she's run out of room to store them. The rarest ones are those with odd shapes, she noted. She's hoping to find a new home for them: "They're clean, washed and in fantastic condition." [Suffolk News, 7/29/2024]

But Why?

St. Petersburg, Florida, resident Jaclyn Goszczynski, 40, was arrested on July 26 and charged with felony child abuse, The Smoking Gun reported. Goszczynski, police said, had been hanging picture frames with her three children when she asked her 12-year-old daughter whether she'd ever been "screwed in the a

Saw That Coming

Homeowners' associations seem to aspire to be the group versions of "Karens." To wit: The Wildernest Home Owners Association in Summit County, Colorado, called the sheriff's office in late July to tattle on a kids' lemonade stand that they said was blocking the road. When officers arrived, KKTV reported, they found the kids were not blocking the road, "but did ask them to move back from the road a few feet for their safety," police said. "The original reporting parties came out and began yelling at the children, claiming they were on private property ... (but officers) determined the property was shared HOA property and because the children's parents are part of the HOA, they had a right to be there," the report went on. Kids 1, HOA 0. [KKTV, 7/28/2024]

Animal Antics

When Alicia Mastroianni left for work in Brighton, Massachusetts, on July 15, she found her car covered in scratches and a note, she told WBZ-TV. The note was from a neighbor, who wrote, "I just watched and recorded a massive turkey attack your car for over 15 minutes. Sorry you were the target of this turkey rage." "All sides of my car were messed up," Mastroianni said. The Massachusetts Environmental Police said turkey attacks aren't rare anymore in the area. One reason for the assaults is that the birds see their own reflection in the car's surface and attack. They recommend covering your car or yelling to scare turkeys away. [WBZ, 7/25/2024]

What's in a Name?

On July 22, when officers noticed a white van on the I-5 near Weed, California, that kept swerving out of its lane, they engaged their lights and sirens -- and it still took almost 3 miles for the van to pull over, KOBI-TV reported. Inside the van, they found 1,021 rooted marijuana plants, which, according to driver Yung Fai Sze, 53, were on their way to Oregon. However, Sze did not have the proper documentation from the California Department of Cannabis Control, so he was arrested and charged with illegal transportation and possession of marijuana. [KOBI, 7/26/2024]

Awesome!

In Leicestershire, England, a quaint problem is getting a practical solution, the BBC reported on July 25. The North West Leicestershire District Council received a grant of about $9,300 from Keep Britain Tidy's Chewing Gum Task Force to clean up the discarded wads of gum littering the sidewalks. "Many of the streets, pavements and shopping areas in our towns are affected by discarded chewing gum," said Michael Wyatt of the council, which will also install signs asking people to dispose of their gum properly. The grant is provided by gum manufacturers. [BBC, 7/25/2024]

It's Always Something

In 2016, the Scottish government declared it would increase the number of medical school placements because of a shortage of doctors, the BBC reported. Eight years later, professor Gordon Findlater, HM Inspector of Anatomy for Scotland, has declared an unexpected and potentially dire result of the change: a shortage of cadavers for medical students to train on. "This is already having an impact on the surgical colleges (which) are now having to cancel training classes," Findlater said. [BBC, 7/30/2024]

The Continuing Crisis

River Church Kansas City in Lenexa, Kansas, celebrated Father's Day with a raffle, KSHB-TV reported on July 29. Just what did the lucky winner receive? An AR-15 rifle, of course. The contest was so popular that for the Fourth of July, River Church gave away three more firearms. Why? Well, "A gun is a blessing because here in America, we have what's called the Second Amendment, and we're free Americans," explained pastor Christopher Zehner. "Christ gives us freedom, and so, as Christ has given us freedom on the inside, Americans are free as well, so it correlates," he went on. "Our attendance doubled after this whole thing happened," he said. "We will probably do it again. I would say maybe Christmastime, to be a blessing again." The four winners declined to comment. [KSHB, 7/29/2924]

Bright Idea

Jason Arsenault, 41, pleaded guilty in Portland, Maine, on July 29 to an unconventional bank robbery attempt, HNGN reported. Back in January, Arsenault, wearing a black hat, a mask and sunglasses on his face, pulled into the drive-thru lane of a Key Bank location and sent a note to the teller through the pneumatic tube: "CAR BOMB No Cops Alarms or WE ALL DIE $50,000 in 20s." The teller sent the money back through the tube, and Arsenault drove away. Surveillance video allowed law enforcement to track Arsenault's movements until they could spot him without his disguise; six days later, he was arrested. He directed police to a backpack with the money, hidden in the woods. He faces up to 20 years in prison. [HNGN, 7/29/2924]

Ewwwwww!

Have it your way! Tiffany Floyd of Gettzville, New York, stopped at her local Burger King on July 27 to get her 4-year-old daughter a hamburger, People reported. When the girl started eating her burger, she said, "Mom, I don't want ketchup." Floyd took the bag back, thinking the order had been made wrong, "And I look in her bag and there is blood all over. You could tell it was human blood." She called the restaurant and asked to speak with a manager, who admitted, "Yes, I had a worker here cut their hand right before your food was made and bagged. The worker knew he cut himself but did not think he was bleeding that bad." The manager offered Floyd a refund, but instead she hung up and called the local health department. Burger King closed the restaurant for retraining and deep cleaning, but Floyd said their trauma continues: "She now needs to get bloodwork done every month" to look for HIV and hepatitis, among other infections, and her daughter is afraid to eat. "She thinks there's blood in it." [People, 7/31/2024]

Mistaken Identity

Gallaghers, a New York City restaurant with a nearly century-long presence on 52nd Street, is decorated inside with photos of celebrities who have frequented the landmark over the many years, the New York Post reported on July 27. One of the signed photos is of Perry Como, a wildly popular singer and television personality during the mid-20th century. But Gallaghers was forced to add a couple of small disclaimers to the frame of Como's photo because of his vague resemblance to disgraced pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, who died in 2019. "THIS IS NOT JEFFREY EPSTEIN," the first plaque reads. "THIS IS PERRY COMO." Gallaghers owner Dean Poll said "hundreds" of customers asked about the photo. "It was constant. Not one a day, but all during the day." He said Epstein was not a customer. [NY Post, 7/27/2024]

In China, the highly competitive practice of mukbang -- eating large quantities of food for viewers' enjoyment -- is a wildly popular streaming subject, Oddity Central reported. Successful mukbang streamers make good money and are showered with gifts from their followers. The trend took a sad turn on July 14, however, when 24-year-old Pan Xiaoting, a former waitress, lost her life during her mukbang livestream. As Pan's following grew, she took her overeating to greater extremes, pushing her weight to around 650 pounds. An autopsy reportedly showed that her stomach was full of undigested food and her abdomen was severely deformed. [Oddity Central, 7/19/2024]

Great Art

The Welsh town of Ruthin, Denbighshire, is struggling to embrace a 43-foot-tall inflatable figure of a laughing man in an odd squatting position, resting on a ball. Wales Online reported that the installation is related to the Ruthin International Arts Festival and was created by Chinese artist Yue Minjun, known for his self-portraits. Locals aren't impressed; some say the "sickly pink color of the piece" is frightening children, and one woman said, "Oh please. He looks constipated. Monstrosity!" [Wales Online, 7/24/2024]

Eyewitness News

Remarkably, two brothers out fishing off the coast of Rye, New Hampshire, on July 23 caught a once-in-a-lifetime experience on video: A 30-foot-long humpback whale breached nearby, throwing itself onto the back of a boat where Ryland Kenney, 44, and Greg Paquette, 54, were fishing. As the front of the boat rose into the air, Kenney and Paquette were thrown into the water. "As it collapsed onto the boat, the mouth closed and smashed the top of the motor and I heard a big crunch," Kenney told The New York Times. "I had three seconds to act. I wasn't scared, I didn't have time to be scared." Colin Yager, 16, who took the video, and his brother, Wyatt, rushed over to pull the men, who were unhurt, out of the water. Kenney said he'll take some time away from the water to work on his boat, which will include a radar system that can detect nearby whales. [NY Times, 7/24/2024]

Ewwwwww!

Gizmodo reported on July 19 that a few days before in Portoviejo, Ecuador, doctors removed an obstruction from a 24-year-old woman's stomach that had caused her pain, vomiting and difficulty eating. The object was a 16-inch-long hairball that weighed 2 pounds, Verdi Cevallos Balda General Hospital announced. The mass was so large it could be detected "by touch from the outside," said lead surgeon Pedro Lovato. It had started to move into her intestines, but doctors said it had not caused serious injury to her stomach and she would recover. The hairball was likely caused by trichophagia, a form of disordered eating where people swallow their hair. The patient is receiving comprehensive treatment. [Gizmodo, 7/19/2024]

That Escalated Quickly

On July 16, Talanye Carter, 41, returned to a St. Louis Jack in the Box restaurant she had visited three days earlier to complain that she'd been shorted one chicken strip, Yahoo! News reported. The store manager replaced the chicken strip, but that didn't satisfy Carter; she spit in the manager's face over the lack of adequate ranch dressing. When Carter went to her vehicle, the manager took photos of her license plate, and Carter noticed. She put the car in reverse and ran into the woman, knocking her to the ground and injuring her foot and ankle, then left the scene. She was charged the next day with second-degree and fourth-degree assault. [Yahoo! News, 7/22/2024]

Florida

The Walton County Sheriff's Office had to remind Floridians on July 18 not to "approach black bears at any time," United Press International reported. The bear in question was hanging out near Highway 98 in Santa Rosa Beach, looking "depressed," and onlookers were getting too close for comfort trying to take a selfie with it. Deputies borrowed a song title, "If Not Friend, Why Friend Shaped?" to discourage residents from cozying up to the sad-looking guy. A Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission biologist visited the scene, but the bear wandered back into the woods. [UPI, 7/22/2024]

Least Competent Criminals

-- Tara Lyles and James Lyles of Louisville, Kentucky, where weed is not legal, showed their hand a little too publicly, WAVE-TV reported, when they posted videos of their marijuana production processes to TikTok. They were arrested on July 22 after a detective arranged to meet Tara in a Kroger parking lot to buy some devil's lettuce. During the exchange, she told the detective that she "packages the product on a thousands level scale and just completed a 1,000 pack order over the weekend." Police seized 218 pounds of marijuana, worth about $450,000 on the street -- again, in a state where weed is not legal. [WAVE, 7/23/2024]

-- Social media boasts also took down a foursome of 20-something criminals in Los Angeles County on July 23, KTLA-TV reported. Charles Christopher, 24; Jordan Leonard, 25; D'Angelo Spencer, 26; and Tazjar Rouse, 22, were arrested in connection with a months-long crime spree involving 7-Eleven stores. Leonard couldn't resist the chance to brag: He posted on Instagram, "love my bros we go hit every time," with a photo of stacks of cash, and he helpfully tagged his co-defendants Christopher and Spencer. All four face a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison on each count -- hardly justifying the $7,600 they netted. [KTLA, 7/23/2024]

Awesome!

Kai McKenzie, 23, was surfing off New South Wales, Australia, on July 23 when a 10-foot-long great white shark bit off his leg, the BBC reported. When he was washed back to shore, an off-duty policeman applied a tourniquet, and a few minutes later, McKenzie's leg also washed up. Onlookers put the severed limb on ice and transported it and the surfer to the hospital, where doctors are evaluating whether they can save it. McKenzie is in serious but stable condition. [BBC, 7/23/2024]

Reality No More

Reality show contestants Spencer "Corry" Jones and Oliver Dev were booted from USA Network's production of "Race to Survive" after an incident involving a protected New Zealand bird, BoingBoing reported on July 23. Jones said he knew he was breaking a rule when he caught, killed and ate the flightless weka bird during episode eight, but he was "desperate and hungry. Survival in the bush of New Zealand is not easy," he noted. Punishment for killing the bird could be up to two years in prison or a fine of about $60,000 (U.S.). [BoingBoing, 7/23/2024]

Irony

Did they not see this coming? A psychic reading business and a crystal business were damaged during a "tricky" overnight fire in Minneapolis on July 24, KSTP-TV reported. Crews were hampered by the lack of working fire hydrants (because of nearby construction); one person was in the building but was able to get out safely. "We had too much fire for how much water we were going to be able to put on the fire, so we had crews go defensive," said Minneapolis Deputy Fire Chief Rita Juran. They were able to keep the fire from spreading. [KSTP, 7/24/2024]

News You Can Use

The Ohio Supreme Court (!) ruled on July 25 that -- are you ready? -- bones are a natural part of chicken, so consumers of boneless chicken wings should be vigilant about them while eating, and that the presence of bones does not constitute a breach of duty on the part of the restaurant. The Columbus Dispatch reported that the 4-3 decision was derided by Democrats on the court, who contended that the question was one for a jury, not an appeals court. "The result in this case is another nail in the coffin of the American jury system," said Justice Michael Donnelly. The case originated with an April 2016 incident in which Michael Berkheimer felt "something go down the wrong pipe" while enjoying wings; he sued in 2017. [Columbus Dispatch, 7/25/2024]

Dustin Ebey, 35, a middle school math teacher from north Texas, has thrown his hat in the ring in a big way: He changed his legal name to Literally Anybody Else and is running a write-in campaign for president of the United States in Texas (where he didn't get enough signatures to get on the ballot) and Tennessee (where he did get enough). ABC13-TV reported that Else has revealed his running mate, Neal David Sutz, a New Yorker who is currently living in Switzerland. Else said Americans deserve better than the divisive, partisan electoral system we currently have. "This name gives everybody something to point to, to channel, that being to one movement, to one message that could hopefully have a meaningful impact," Else said. [ABC13, 7/17/2024]

It's Good To Have a Hobby

The force is definitely with these folks in Mexico City -- students of the Jedi Knight Academy, who meet in a park four nights a week to practice their lightsaber dueling skills, the Associated Press reported on June 21. "When students arrive, some of them drop the saber," said instructor Ulises Vazquez, who's known as the Jedi master. He said they go on to become "excellent athletes and excellent lightsaber fighters and fencers." The sessions, which last three hours, are based on Jedi and Sith teachings. Vazquez and his best friend, Gabriel Mendoza, opened the academy in 2019, at which point lightsaber dueling had already been recognized by the French Fencing Federation as an official competitive sport. [AP, 6/21/2024]

Walgreens: The Lost Hours

When police in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, were called to a Walgreens store around 3 a.m. on July 15, they could see a man inside helping himself to a pack of Newport cigarettes, WESH-TV reported. They talked Christopher Morgan through unlocking the front door and asked him if there was anyone else in the building; in apparent confusion, he replied that he didn't know. "I came in here to use the bathroom," he explained -- but that was more than five hours before, around 9:40 p.m., when security footage showed him entering the restroom. He didn't come out until 2:42 a.m. When police asked him what time he thought it was, he said, "Probably 11 o'clock." While locked in the store alone, Morgan feasted on junk food: Tostitos spinach dip, chips, Reese's and Ghirardelli chocolate and Dr Pepper. Morgan resisted arrest and spit on an officer; he was charged with burglary and larceny-petit theft. [WESH, 7/16/2024]

The Aristocrats

During a visit to the Channel Islands on July 16, King Charles III took some time to bestow a special honor, the Associated Press reported. A rare golden goat breed found on the island of Guernsey will now have the title of Royal Golden Guernsey Goat, which will apply to the breed anywhere in the world. "Hopefully this will raise awareness for the breed," said Rebecca Martin, the owner of a specimen the king met. The king reportedly favored the goat with a compliment about its pale blond coat. [AP, 7/16/2024]

Great Art?

At the "subversive" Museum of Old and New Art in Tasmania, three paintings displayed in the women's restroom, and billed as works by Pablo Picasso, have been revealed to have been created by another artist: museum curator Kirsha Kaechele. The Associated Press reported on July 12 that the paintings had hung in the women-only "gallery" for three years. "I imagined that a Picasso scholar, or maybe just a Picasso fan, or maybe just someone who googles things, would visit the Ladies Lounge and ... expose me on social media," Kaechele said -- especially because she accidentally hung one of the works upside-down. The Ladies Lounge originally offered high tea, massages and champagne served by male butlers. The idea, Kaechele said, was for men "to feel as excluded as possible." But when the Tasmanian Civil and Administrative Tribunal ordered the museum to allow men in, Kaechele installed a working toilet in the space and called it a restroom. When The Guardian asked Kaechele about the authenticity of the Picassos, she confessed that she had painted them. [AP, 7/12/2024]

Bright Idea

A 33-year-old man named Jing, from the Hubei province in China, has put technology to work for him, the South China Morning Post reported on July 13. When he suspected that his wife, Wu, was having an affair with a co-worker, Jing used a drone to follow her. Jing said his wife became "cold" to him last year; she also changed her position at work and "visited her parents" more often. The surveillance revealed that Wu went to a remote area, where she walked hand-in-hand with a man and disappeared for about 20 minutes into a dilapidated mud house. "Her other man is her boss," Jing said. He plans to use the footage in a divorce case. [SCMP, 7/13/2024]

Awesome!

At a zoo in Liaoning province in China, a pair of penguins tied the knot in early July with all the traditional trimmings -- and they already had the suits! The South China Morning Post reported that the event was held in the birds' pavilion, with the standard red "double happiness" character, eight banquet tables filled with fish and shrimp, and dozens of penguin guests. The breeder gushed that he had watched the couple "getting to know each other, falling in love and then walking down the aisle together." [SCMP, 7/17/2024]

Hanger Pains

As Sam's Club workers in Atlanta prepared to close the store on July 10, a family of three women arrived two minutes before closing time, hoping to order two whole pizzas, WSB-TV reported. Workers told the women it was too late and tried to summon a manager, but before they could, Andreana McKnight, the mother, moved into the kitchen and punched Cierra Monroe in the face. The daughters also came into the kitchen, joining the fight; other customers tried to break things up. Monroe said the blow to her face left her with a scar and she would like more security in the store. "I just feel like we need to have security from the moment we open to the moment we close, every day, seven days a week," she said. [WSB, 7/16/2024]

Enough Is Enough

The South Zanesville (Ohio) Fire Department has had enough of Kesha S. Kennedy, 34, who pleaded guilty July 12 to felony disrupting public services, felony making false alarms and 25 counts of misuse of 911 systems, WJBF-TV reported. Officials said that starting in 2020, Kennedy called 911 nearly 400 times -- multiple times a week, sometimes multiple times a day -- hampering their ability to service people with actual emergencies. Workers at Genesis Hospital were forced to triage Kennedy every time she arrived, although she was repeatedly told there was nothing wrong with her. Kennedy had a record of similar behavior in four other Ohio counties; she will be sentenced at a later date. [WJBF, 7/17/2024]

Irony

Honest Abe Auto Sales in Indianapolis is settling a lawsuit for bait-and-switch tactics, falsely advertised prices and preying on customers with poor credit ratings, the Indianapolis Star reported on July 17. More than 250 customers who were taken in by the misnomer are now being paid back to the tune of $471,000. "The fact that they call themselves 'Honest Abe' just makes the facts of this case especially rich," said Attorney General Todd Rokita. [Indianapolis Star, 7/17/2024]