When Las Vegas police responded to a call in the wee hours of Aug. 27 about someone lying face-down on the ground outside a funeral home, they might not have expected the most obvious explanation: They found a dead body amid the landscaping, with a casket nearby on a rolling cart. KTLA-TV reported that a door to the funeral home was open, and flower petals were scattered on the floor leading out of the door. Investigators learned that the body was that of a person who had been the subject of a viewing the previous day, and surveillance video showed a woman breaking in and moving the casket outside. Police arrested Patricia Sierra, 47, the next day and charged her with grand larceny, burglary and disturbing human remains; she couldn’t explain her actions, she said, because she had consumed six beers and blacked out. Sierra remained in jail on $11,000 bond. [KTLA, 9/5/2024]

The Passing Parade

On Sept. 10, as Delta Flight 295 taxied toward takeoff at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, the Airbus A350 headed for Tokyo clipped the tail off a smaller plane, the Associated Press reported. No one was injured on either aircraft, but passengers had to deplane and be rebooked on later flights. Jason Adams, who was aboard the regional jet headed to Louisiana, posted to X about the collision: “Well that was terrifying. ... Very jarring, metal scraping sounds then loud bangs. We’re fine. No fire or smoke,” he wrote. [AP, 9/10/2024]

Ewwwww!

-- How else do you celebrate Labor Day in Michigan than participating in a ranch dressing chugging contest? Fox17-TV reported that Zach Orvis of Belding, Michigan, won the first-ever competition at The Harmful Roester restaurant by downing 24 ounces of the creamy delight in 10 seconds, beating 11 other contestants. "I've seen people pour about that much on their salads, so what's the difference?" Orvis said. "I don't feel sick at all." Orvis won a $100 gift card and a free order of all-you-can-eat wings every week until spring 2025. [Fox17, 9/1/2024]

-- People in the Netherlands spend more than 900 million euros on drugs each year. How do we know this? KWR, the research institute for drinking water businesses, analyzed sewage samples. NL Times reported that the researchers looked for residue of cocaine, speed and ecstasy between 2015 and 2022 in Dutch sewage treatment plants. "We are assuming a fairly conservative estimate," KWR researcher Thomas ter Laak said. "This provides insight into the size and consumers of the Dutch illegal drug market." [NL Times, 9/12/2024]

Nine Lives

Nicci Knight of Newby, North Yorkshire, England, was enjoying a vacation in Turkey when her neighbors let her know they had found her cat, Ted, drowned in their pond. "I had to break the news to my husband and our four children, and we were all absolutely devastated," Knight said. The BBC reported on Sept. 6 that Knight arranged for her pet to be cremated and went on with the holiday. But four days later, her cat sitter, who had been looking after the family's other cat, called her and said Ted had just walked through the cat flap on the door. Knight realized she had "paid 130 pounds to cremate someone else's cat." After returning home, she collected the cremains, which had been labeled "Not Dead Ted." The family has not been able to trace the owner of the drowned cat; they believe it was probably a stray. [BBC, 9/6/2024]

Overreaction

A man suffered two brain bleeds, multiple skull fractures and multiple facial bone fractures, Las Vegas police said, after a convenience store clerk beat him with a bat for taking too much nacho cheese sauce. On Sept. 3, KSNV-TV reported, officers were called to the store where the man was lying on the ground and bleeding. The person who called 911 asked the clerk, Myron Bullie, to call for help, but he responded, "I'm not going to call 911. He better have learned a lesson." Bullie told police he had warned the victim about taking too much cheese, but the victim said he wasn't leaving without it. Bullie is being held on $10,000 bond at the Clark County Detention Center. [KSNV, 9/9/2024]

Great Art

The Museum of European and Mediterranean Civilizations in Marseilles, France, is offering special visiting hours to naturists -- people who shun clothing -- until Dec. 9, Canoe reported on Sept. 2. Nude patrons will be welcome one evening a month to see the exhibition "Naturist Paradises," which is described as a "journey of discovery of the very first naturist communities, first in Germany and Switzerland, then in France," according to the museum. Although nudity is welcome, the museum will require visitors to wear shoes "to avoid getting splinters," an official said. [Canoe, 9/2/2024]

Wait, What?

Earlier this year, social media star and model Suellen Carey, who lives in the United Kingdom, shared her wedding with her many followers, the Daily Star reported on Sept. 12. The ceremony was unconventional, as Carey married ... herself. She called her lifestyle "sologamy" -- or she did, until she recently divorced herself, even after several rounds of couples therapy. "It's crucial to know when to end a cycle," Carey posted. "Even commitment to oneself can have its challenges, such as dealing with the expectation of being perfect for yourself all the time." She said she felt lonely in her self-marriage and her own company was "exhausting." We can only imagine. [Daily Star, 9/12/2024]

Irony

While Britain's Policing Minister Dame Diana Johnson was addressing senior police officers on Sept. 10 about an "epidemic of antisocial behavior, theft and shoplifting," someone lifted her purse from the hotel where she was speaking, the BBC reported. A member of the Home Office staff also had belongings stolen. Warwickshire Police said they had arrested a 56-year-old man from Coventry in connection with the burglaries; he was released on bail. [BBC, 9/12/2024]

Police Report

Plaintiffs known only as "John and Jane Doe" have filed a $25,000 lawsuit in Florissant, Missouri, against the City of Florissant and an unknown police officer called "Joe Smith." The Does say Smith is "a sexual voyeur and predator of the worst kind," KMOV-TV reported on Sept. 11. According to the suit, Jane Doe was pulled over in February for a broken taillight. The officer asked if she had insurance and directed her to pull up proof on her phone and show it to him. At that point, he took her phone back to his cruiser, turned off the Bluetooth linked to her car, and didn't come back for 10 minutes. He didn't give her a ticket, but, she alleges, he scrolled through her photos and found intimate images that she had shared only with her husband. Jane Doe found out about his snooping when the FBI contacted her in July to ask that she identify a photo of herself that had been enlarged and printed. Agents said it was not the only photo of her that they found in the officer's possession. Jane Doe said she has been disturbed and has suffered humiliation, emotional distress and mistrust. The Florissant Police Department said in a statement that the officer is no longer employed there, and no other officers were involved. [KMOV, 9/11/2024]

Picture it: a curious young boy at a museum. An ancient artifact unprotected by glass. Bet you can’t guess what happened next. On Aug. 23, reports CNN, a 4-year-old boy visited the Hecht Museum in Haifa, Israel, with his parents. According to the child’s father, the boy noticed a large ceramic container and “pulled the jar slightly,” wanting to see what was inside -- accidentally smashing the 3,500-year-old relic in the process. Museum officials were unfazed: “We are appealing to parents: Don’t be afraid. Things like this happen,” said museum head Inbal Rivin. “We will fix (the jar) and put it back.” The Hecht Museum displays some items without protective cases, a nod to founder Reuben Hecht’s belief in allowing the public to experience archaeological finds with as few barriers as possible. The jar dates to between 2200 B.C. and 1500 B.C., and was likely used for storing and transporting liquid goods such as wine or oil. Finding an intact vessel was something of a rarity, and restoration efforts are already underway. [CNN, 8/28/2024]

Book Lover Booked

A 71-year-old flat owner in Rome woke one night to find a burglar in his residence ... reading a book about the Iliad. The BBC reported on Aug. 24 that the would-be burglar claims he broke into the building to visit someone else and simply found himself in the wrong unit. Spotting Giovanni Nucci’s book “The Gods at Six O’Clock,” a retelling of The Iliad from a divine perspective, the 38-year-old settled in for story time. When the homeowner awoke and confronted him, the thief attempted to get away via the balcony, but was soon arrested. News of the bookworm burglar made its way to the author, who said he'd like to give the criminal a copy: "... he'll have been arrested halfway through reading it. I'd like him to be able to finish it.” Nucci added that his favorite deity is Hermes, the god of thieves -- and of literature. [BBC, 8/24/2024]

Better Late Than Never

The U.K.-based Royal Mail service delivered a postcard to the Swansea Building Society in Wales -- a mere 121 years after it was posted. The BBC reported on Aug. 21 that the Christmas-themed postcard was addressed to "Miss Lydia Davies" and signed by “Ewart.” Among other lines, Ewart apologizes for not picking up a “pair” of an unknown item: “I am so sorry, but I hope you are enjoying yourself at home.” The postcard made waves online after Henry Darby, the Swansea Building Society's marketing and communications officer, found it when sorting through the post. Unable to find any information about Lydia, he took to social media for help. West Glamorgan Archives confirmed that a John Davies once lived at the address in question with his wife, Maria, and six children -- including Lydia, who would have been 16 when the postcard was sent. [BBC, 8/21/2024]

Unclear on the Concept

A groundhog made headlines In Hollidaysburg, Pennylvania, about an hour from Punxsutawney -- but not for predicting the weather. Fun-seekers playing the claw machine at a local arcade realized that one of the “stuffed animals” was blinking back at them, reported the Associated Press on Aug. 14. Manager Lynn Castle of The Meadows frozen custard and mini-golf isn’t sure how the critter got in, but said it almost took an army to release the rodent. Employees contacted the machine’s owners, who passed the buck to the police department, who called in the Pennsylvania Game Commission. Game wardens were able to open the machine and set the rodent, dubbed Colonel Custard, free in a nearby field. Castle and The Meadows wasted no time capitalizing on the incident, making T-shirts that said “Respect the Groundhog” and naming a frozen treat flavor after their furry visitor. “It’s a good story that ended well,” Castle said. “He got set free. No one got bit.” [Associated Press, 8/14/2024]

U R in Trouble

Some people yell, throw things or shut down when they get mad. Not Dr. Giovanni Baula. According to court records in St. Petersburg, Florida, on two separate occasions, the good doctor expressed his ire with Dr. Dylan Dinesh by dousing the latter’s office doors in gallons of fluid that smelled suspiciously like urine. As The Smoking Gun reports, court documents say the liquid “soaked into the front wooden doors, causing irreparable damage.” Dinesh’s practice suffered $6,000 worth of losses, in addition to the $1,500 to replace the doors. Baula was arrested and charged with a felony count of criminal mischief, but released after paying a $5,000 bond. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Baula doesn’t exactly have a clean rap sheet. In 2003, he was fined $10,000 and reprimanded by the Board of Medicine for a number of standard-of-care violations, including improperly prescribing medication for a telehealth client that he never physically examined. His medical license expires in January 2025. [The Smoking Gun, 8/28/2024]

Is Nowhere Sacred?

Thanat Thangtewanon of Thailand recently had a bathroom break that was, well, nuts. India's Deccan Herald reported that on Aug. 22, what started as a routine trip to the washroom ended with Thangtewanon killing the python that had bitten his testicles. "I felt something biting my balls, which was very painful, so I put my hands in," he said. After whacking the reptile on the head with a toilet brush until it died and released its grip, Thangtewanon headed to the hospital for a tetanus shot. Doctors assured him that his injury wasn’t too deep, and that no stitches would be required. Perhaps he should count himself lucky, all things considered -- pythons are known for suffocating and squeezing their prey to death! [Deccan Herald, 8/22/2024]

Party Hearty

On Aug. 28 in Almhult, Sweden -- the site of the first IKEA store -- 2,052 of the furniture giant's employees donned two-piece pajamas and set a Guinness World Record for "the largest-ever gathering of people wearing two-piece pajamas in a single venue" ... or, you know, the world's largest pajama party. The matching pjs featured images of lingonberry jam and gravy, an homage to the store’s iconic Swedish meatballs. The party was scheduled to align with IKEA’s new yearlong initiative to “innovate a range of sleep products to improve every aspect of home that supports better rest,” according to a company statement. [IKEA, 8/28/2024]

Take It Down the Road

One surefire way to go viral online? Call out Wendy’s. Tired of customers complaining about long waiting times, The Myrtle Beach Sun News reported that Patti Childers, owner of the Salt Water Grille in Longs, South Carolina, posted a sign on the restaurant door that said: “Other than the buffet -- our food is cooked to order. If you are in a hurry, Wendy’s is right down the road or come another time. Everybody in Horry County cannot eat between 5-8 on Friday night. Please don’t expect speedy service during those hours.” The sign went viral after being picked up and posted by a Facebook page called Bitchy Waiters. “It was more or less a joke,” Childers said. [Sun News, 8/29/2024]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Amy Slaton, 36 -- best known for starring on TLC’s “1000-Lb Sisters” alongside her sister, Tammy -- was arrested on Labor Day on charges of drug possession and child endangerment, after an incident at the Alamo safari park in Tennessee. Police were responding to reports that a guest had been bitten by a camel, but they noticed “suspicious odors” coming from Slaton's vehicle, leading to the arrest. The Daily Mail reported that Slaton has lost 176 pounds since she had weight-loss surgery five years ago. [NY Times, 8/26/2024]

The Solution Became the Problem

On Sept. 3, the Kyodo News reported that a decades-long effort to eradicate mongoose from Amami-Oshima Island in Kagoshima Prefecture has been declared a success by Japan's Environment Ministry. One minor detail: The mongooses (mongeese?) were not native to the island -- they had, in fact, been introduced on the island in 1979, when about 30 mongooses were imported to eradicate the habu, a species of venomous viper. One problem: The mongooses are active during the daytime, while the snakes they were supposed to cull are nocturnal. So rather than doing the one job they were hired for, the mongooses, whose numbers swelled to around 10,0000 by the turn of the century, played havoc on the rabbit population and destroyed crops and native fauna. The eradication effort included the placement of 30,000 traps and even a mongoose-sniffing dog. "This is an achievement that could contribute to the preservation of rare species and the natural heritage," Environment Minister Shintaro Ito said. [Kyodo News, 9/3/2024]

Malpractice

William Bryan, 70, died during a splenectomy at Ascension Sacred Heart Emerald Coast Hospital in Walton County, Alabama, on Aug. 21. But USA Today reports that Bryan's family has filed a lawsuit against the hospital, alleging that surgeon Thomas Shaknovsky, who was supposed to remove Bryan's spleen, removed his liver instead, causing massive blood loss and killing Bryan. After the fatal procedure, a pathologist identified tissue from the removed organ, which had been labeled "spleen," was actually liver tissue, and an autopsy on Bryan confirmed that his spleen was still in his body. "We take allegations like this very seriously," said a statement from Ascension emailed to USA Today, "and our leadership team is performing a thorough investigation into this event." [NBC News, 8/27/2024]

Police in Brighton, New Jersey, charged Zyair J. Dennis, 24, on Aug. 23 with one count of defiant trespassing after an incident on Aug. 18, the Cherry Hill Courier Post reported. Dennis, of Millville, New Jersey, was recorded at the Cohanzick Zoo taunting a tiger after climbing a barrier into the animal's enclosure. Police said she tried to "entice" one of the Bengal tigers through a second, inside fence. In the video, the tiger appeared to try to bite the woman's hand. Dennis was also caught on camera at the zoo's bear exhibit, demonstrating the same kind of behavior, said Bridgerton Police Chief Michael Gaimari. [Cherry Hill Courier Post, 8/27/2024]

Weird in the Wild

A bald eagle that was “rescued” near Wilson’s Creek National Battlefield in Missouri because it couldn’t seem to fly wasn’t injured at all, Fox News reported on Aug. 25. Instead, wildlife officials at the Missouri Department of Conservation determined that it was “too fat to fly.” “The bird was ... engorged with raccoon,” officials said. X-rays taken at a nearby zoo showed a raccoon paw inside the eagle’s distended stomach. The bird was released near where it was found. [Fox News, 8/25/2024]

Florida

Tampa police responded to a call on Aug. 24 at the Rags to Riches Animal Rescue, WFTS-TV reported. Dominique Amerosa, one of the owners of the rescue, said she and her mother were doing a meet-and-greet with a potential owner for Bluey, a disabled pug, when they told the woman she wouldn't be a good fit because of her other dogs. First, the woman wouldn't give the dog back to the owners; then she retrieved a gun out of her car and pointed it at the back of Amerosa's head. "My lovely neighbor came out and saw her with my mom and then ran in her house to call 911," Amerosa said. "That is a very scary person," she said. Police said they are investigating and working with the state's attorney's office to "determine the most appropriate charges." [WFTS, 8/25/2024]

Unclear on the Concept

Rolando Ramos, the quarterbacks coach for the Cigarroa Toros football program in Laredo, Texas, was arrested on Aug. 19 after he called police to report that a prostitute had stolen money from him, the Laredo Morning Times reported. When Ramos tried to pay her, she allegedly grabbed $100 and ran away. Ramos, who is also a health and physical education teacher at Cigarroa High School, faced a $2,500 bond for soliciting prostitution and was released later that day. He was placed on administrative leave by the district. [Laredo Morning Times, 8/23/2024]

SNAFU

The U.S. Navy has run out of pants, the New York Post reported on Aug. 21. The official "Navy Working Uniform," or NWU, camouflage trousers are out of stock because of "Defense Logistics Agency vendor issues," officials said. This particular uniform is allowed for wear on the job and out in public, but only new recruits will get new pants until at least October. In the meantime, sailors will be allowed to wear coveralls off-base (so chic) or the "2-piece Organizational Clothing," which features flame-resistant tops and bottoms. [NY Post, 8/21/2024]

Bright Idea

A 9-year-old boy left his home in Brooklyn, New York, for school on Aug. 22 but never showed up, the Associated Press reported. His parents called police, who released a description of the missing child. When the New York CBS News helicopter arrived at the scene, they spotted the truant on the rooftop of his family's building. "We came across a person sitting in a chair over here on the rooftop. We zoomed in with the camera," said reporter Dan Rice. "It appeared to be the child that fit the description of the missing child." They alerted police and as the news helicopter watched, Rice said, "He just packs up his computer and his book bag and goes off with the police officers," who took the boy to his parents. [AP, 8/23/2024]

Questionable Judgment

Back in January, a 33-year-old man underwent emergency surgery at Graz University Hospital in Austria after a forestry accident, Sky News reported. It wasn't until July, however, that the patient learned the unnamed surgeon allowed his 13-year-old daughter to drill a hole in the patient's head. "There was no contact, no explanation or apology, nothing," said the patient's attorney, Peter Freiberger. "That is simply undignified." The operation was successful, but the patient is still recovering. The main surgeon and another specialist who was present during the operation were let go by the hospital. Investigations by the public prosecutor's office are underway. [Sky News, 8/27/2024]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Riders on the Supergirl Sky Flight ride at Mexico City's Six Flags Mexico were stranded on Aug. 18 as heavy rain and winds caused the ride to shut down, United Press International reported. Those who were on the ride at the time dangled about 240 feet in the air for 10 minutes as they were buffeted by the weather. Six Flags Mexico said the storm caused several rides to cease operating for a few minutes, but no injuries were reported. [UPI, 8/26/2024]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

The Hong Kong Education Bureau has produced a 70-page sex education manual for kids between 12 and 14 years old, The New York Times reported on Aug. 26. The booklet advises kids to avoid premarital sex and other "intimate behaviors" by participating in exercise and other pastimes, such as badminton, that "draw attention away from undesirable activities." The Education Bureau is undeterred by criticism and ridicule; it said the advice will help kids "cope with the various physiological and psychological consequences of premarital sex." Meanwhile, teenagers are incorporating it into their slang, with phrases such as "friends with badminton." [NY Times, 8/26/2024]

News You Can Use

Residents of Oxford, Massachusetts, are buzzing over a voluntary curfew officials put in place in late August, CNN reported. The restriction on outdoor activities after 6 p.m. through the end of September (and 5 p.m. in October until the first frost) is meant to keep citizens safe from mosquitoes that may be carrying eastern equine encephalitis, or EEE, a deadly infection, but about 200 people showed up at a town meeting to protest it. Officials say the curfew makes people more aware of the threat and gets them off the streets while communities are spraying chemicals to combat the mosquitoes. “It’s an unpopular recommendation, but we feel that it’s a really important part of a layered prevention strategy,” said Dr. Catherine Brown, the Massachusetts state epidemiologist. One commenter on social media complained: “Government overreach in the name of safety has upended the lives of our kids enough.” Others called for a dusk-to-dawn curfew, which would mean getting inside by about 8 p.m. [CNN, 8/27/2024]

Least Competent Criminal

Deario Wilkerson, 20, literally fell into law enforcement’s lap on Aug. 26 after he tried to hide out in the attic of a home in Memphis, NBC News reported. Wilkerson was wanted for first-degree murder in a case from April, in which Troy Cunningham was shot and killed in downtown Memphis. After the U.S. Marshals Service surrounded the home where Wilkerson was hiding, the fugitive fell through the ceiling into the kitchen of the home, landing uninjured. [NBC News, 8/27/2024]