U.S Customs and Border Protection shuts down smuggling attempts on a daily basis, but what its officers caught on Sept. 23 at the Presidio, Texas, port of entry wasn't the usual contraband. While inspecting a vehicle being driven into the U.S., CBP personnel discovered 748 pounds of Mexican bologna. The New York Post reported that 40 rolls of the deli meat were hidden in a number of suitcases throughout the vehicle. CBP Presidio Port Director Benito Reyes Jr. said in a news release that "the concern with pork products is that they have the potential to introduce foreign animal diseases that can have devastating effects to the U.S. economy and to our agriculture industry." The driver, an American citizen, was issued a $1,000 civil penalty; the bologna was destroyed per USDA regulations. [WHAM-13, 9/28/2024]

Single-Engine Drama

-- En route from Nebraska to Oregon on Sept. 21, a single-engine plane made an emergency landing on Highway 25 north of Cheyenne, Wyoming, Cowboy State Daily reported. Levi and Kelsi Dutton, who were traveling south on the highway when the plane landed in front of them, offered assistance to the pilot, who identified himself as Steve. The pilot calmly inspected the plane’s fuel line before announcing, "I got the tools right here. I'll just open it up, figure out what's going on and get her fixed." After making the repair, Steve hopped back aboard the plane and, as the Duttons stopped traffic to free up a runway space, taxied south and took off for Cheyenne Regional Airport, where he could do a more thorough inspection. [Cowboy State Daily, 9/21/24]

-- Another single-engine plane made news on Sept. 17 when, shortly after taking off from Myrtle Beach International Airport in South Carolina, a door fell off and landed in the yard of a vacant home, WBMF News reported. The pilot and passenger on board were unharmed. Witness Wendy Hodges, who lives next door to the vacant house, hurried home after learning of the incident, and found the intact door in the neighbor’s yard. “It was definitely really lucky that there was no damage or no one was hurt,” said Hodges. “As a matter of fact, there’s a plane flying right now, but I will certainly make sure I start looking up.” [WBMF, 9/18/24]

Missed Their Exit?

WSVN in Miami reported on Sept. 21 that an SUV fell from an overpass on I-95, crashing through a fence below and narrowly missing a bystander -- and miraculously, both driver and passenger walked away, apparently unscathed. Those nearby rushed to help, including Mariah Lewis, who offered a knife from her glove box to aid in cutting the driver and passenger out of their seatbelts. “It’s just by the grace of God that the people lived, because I don’t understand how you fall from that high and [live],” she said. Both occupants were checked by paramedics, and the driver was taken to a local trauma center for observation. “It was bad, but it could have been worse,” Lewis said. “I was just telling my daughter I’m so grateful. You’ve got to be grateful for life.” [WSVN, 9/21/24

Awesome!

Reach for the stars, kids! And by “stars,” we mean “wheelbarrow.” John Loghry of Saylorville, Iowa, made his dream come true when he set a new world record -- for the fastest motorized wheelbarrow. WeAreIowa.com reported that Loghry’s vehicle reached 57 mph at an event on Sept. 21, beating the previous Guinness World Record of 47 mph. A local sheriff’s office helped Loghry confirm the speed with a lidar gun, as required per Guinness rules. “He’s been very determined on doing it,” said Loghry’s wife, Jeanne. Members of the local community came out to watch the attempt, so Loghry, a veteran, ended up using the event to raise money for the Wounded Warrior Project. He said he hopes he can inspire others to pursue their dreams, even the wacky ones: “If you think you can do it, try it,” he said. [WeAreIowa.com, 9/21/24]

Kung Faux Panda

As the old saying goes, if it (sorta) looks like a panda, but walks, barks and pants like a dog ... it’s a dog. Canoe.com reported that a Chinese zoo in the southern Guangdong province has admitted what many had already guessed: that its “pandas” were actually dogs with their fur painted. Some zoo visitors used social media to share photos and videos of the critters doing very un-pandalike things, such as panting, barking and wagging long tails. Commenters had a field day: “It’s a PANdog,” one wrote, while another called it “the Temu version of a panda.” Once the posts went viral, zoo officials admitted they had painted two chow chow dogs. Some visitors have since demanded refunds. [Canoe.com, 9/20/24]

Whatever's Handy

When a British surgeon couldn’t find a scalpel, the BBC reported on Oct. 1, he reached for the next best thing: the Swiss Army knife he normally uses to slice up fruit for his lunch. The news organization has not identified the surgeon, who was operating on a patient at the Royal Sussex Hospital in Brighton. While the surgery was reportedly an emergency -- one the patient survived, thankfully -- internal documents indicate that the surgeon’s colleagues found his behavior “questionable” and that they were “very surprised” he was unable to find a more conventional surgical tool. Dr. Graeme Poston, an expert on clinical negligence and a former consultant surgeon, told the BBC: “It surprises me and appalls me. Firstly, a penknife is not sterile. Secondly, it is not an operating instrument. And thirdly, all the kit (must have been) there.” [BBC, 10/1/24]

There Goes the Neighborhood

You can't take it with you -- which means you should be very careful what you leave behind. KSBW-8 reported on Sept. 30 that a real estate agent in Salinas, California, got a real scare when, while preparing the home of a recently deceased man for an estate sale, they discovered a 2.5-foot-long high explosive anti-tank (H.E.A.T.) rocket among the man's belongings in a closet. As the neighborhood was evacuated to a radius of 500 feet by the Salinas police, a neighbor, Rebecca Rodick, interacted with an officer on scene: "He showed me the X-ray of the missile, which is really wild. He said, 'See how it's all dark? That means there's a lot of stuff in it.'" The Monterey County Sheriff's Explosive Ordinance Unit successfully removed the rocket from the residence without incident. [KSBW-8, 9/30/2024]

Makes Sense

Kody Adams of Oklahoma was due for a court appearance in Pawnee County for a hearing on car theft charges on Sept. 27. So when Adams couldn't bum a ride from any of the patrons at a gas station in Stillwater, some 30 minutes away, KOCO News 5 reported that he improvised by commandeering an unoccupied LifeNet Emergency Services pickup and driving it to Pawnee. An Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper caught Adams after he had ditched the pickup and was entering the courthouse. "The trooper did make sure he made his court case," said Preston Cox of the OHP. Adams was then transported to Payne County and booked on new charges. [KOCO News 5, 9/27/2024]

Great Art

Two months after Rayne Beau, a Siamese cat owned by Benny and Susanne Anguiano of Salinas, California, went missing during a trip to Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming, the 2-year-old cat was reported found by the Placer SPCA shelter in Roseville, California -- some 800 miles from where the cat had gone missing. USA Today reported that the Anguianos had tried for several days to locate Rayne Beau, but were finally forced to leave the cat behind when their reservation ran out on June 8. But on Aug. 3, a voicemail from the shelter claimed that the cat had been located and identified via microchip, and the Anguianos were reunited with Rayne Beau. "He was really little, all skin and bones. He was in starvation mode," Benny said; but the cat recovered quickly.[USA Today, 9/19/2024]

Literally. Sean Edward Uribe, 35, was arrested on Sept. 12 in the wake of two incidents over the summer at Miami clothing stores, The Smoking Gun reported. During the first encounter, at a Ross Dress for Less in June, Uribe allegedly used a medical syringe to squirt a substance on the back of the shorts of a juvenile as he recorded with his phone, police said. Witnesses alerted store employees and the victim as Uribe fled the scene. In late August at a Marshalls store, Uribe allegedly struck again, this time targeting an adult woman to "spray an unknown substance on the victim's left buttocks area," police said. When Uribe was taken into custody, he confessed and said the liquid in the syringes was moisturizing lotion. Then he called his father, as police listened, and instructed him to go to his house and remove hard drives. "Put them under lock and key," he said. Officers got there first and seized the drives, along with loaded syringes. So far, he's been charged with battery on a child, two misdemeanor battery counts and tampering with evidence. [The Smoking Gun, 9/19/2024]

The Golden Age of Air Travel

A Scandinavian Airlines flight from Oslo, Norway, to Malaga, Spain, was diverted to Copenhagen, Denmark, on Sept. 18 after a mouse crawled out of a passenger's in-flight meal, the BBC reported. Jarle Borrestad, who was sitting next to the passenger whose meal harbored the rodent, told the BBC that people on board remained calm, but he put his socks over his pant legs so the mouse couldn't crawl up his leg. Oystein Schmidt, SAS spokesperson, said such events happen "extremely rarely"; passengers were transferred to another plane and went on their way. [BBC, 9/20/2024]

Oops

On Sept. 24, as the Kamloops, British Columbia, city council met in the council chambers, someone zooming in online queued up a pornographic video clip while sharing their screen, the CBC reported. The council's public participation segment of the meeting allows people to ask questions or comment on agenda items, but councilman Bill Sarai said Tuesday's incident was the final straw for him. "It's really swayed far, far away from what it's meant to be," Sarai said. He wants to eliminate the public portion of the meeting and ask the public to interact through email or in-person meetings. [CBC, 9/25/2024]

Awesome!

-- In November, Stack's Bowers Galleries in Boston will offer an extremely rare three-pence coin from 1652 for auction, CBS News reported. The coin, which was minted in Boston at the Hull Mint, was purchased from a shop in the Netherlands. It is one of only three known coins like it, one of which was stolen and hasn't been seen since. Store manager Stanley Chu expects it to fetch well over $1 million. [CBS News, 9/20/2024]

-- Student volunteers were helping out with an archaeological dig in Eu, France, when one of them found a small glass bottle inside an earthenware pot, United Press International reported. Inside the bottle was a message, written in January 1825, from one "P.J. Feret, a native of Dieppe, member of various intellectual societies." Feret was carrying out excavations at the same site and left the message for future explorers. "It was an absolutely magic moment," said Guillaume Blondel, head of the town's Regional Archaeology Service. Local records revealed that Feret was a well-known archaeologist of his time. Blondel said such finds are rare: "Most archaeologists prefer to think that there won't be anyone coming after them because they've done all the work." [UPI, 9/24/2024]

It's Good To Have a Hobby

Joshua Kiser of Breinigsville, Pennsylvania, was looking for something to amuse himself during the COVID shutdown in 2020 when he came across an idea: "I stumbled upon a picture of the eccentric man posing with a gigantic top hat on his head," Kiser said, referring to Odilon Ozare, who set the record for World's Tallest Hat in 2018. Kiser thought it would be easy to surpass Ozare's 15-foot, 9-inch hat, but it wasn't until this year that he managed to engineer one, at 17 feet, 9.5 inches, that could withstand a walk of the required 32.8 feet while wearing it. United Press International reported that his final, winning design incorporated lightweight guttering and a Philadelphia Eagles trash can that "looked about the circumference of my noggin." [UPI, 9/26/2024]

Freaky

A 27-foot-tall puppet in the shape of a seated baby has been installed in the center of the town of Rochdale, England, the BBC reported on Sept. 25. The baby, named Lilly, with a mouth and eyes that open and shut, is part of a council project to encourage schoolchildren to talk about the importance of the environment. Ostensibly, the kids will speak to Lilly; their conversations will be recorded and broadcast from the baby at an event on Oct. 24 at Hollingworth Lake Nature Park. But townsfolk aren't warming up to Lilly, calling it "the ugliest baby I've ever seen." One said, "It's creepy with its eyes shut, never mind open." No telling how school-aged kids will react to it. [BBC, 9/25/2024]

Overreaction

-- A 58-year-old Simcoe, Ontario, Canada, woman, Wendy Washik, was taken into custody on Sept. 1 and charged with assault with a weapon, the CBC reported. The charges stemmed from an incident at a backyard party when Washik, who was playing with a child, accidentally shot a neighbor with a water gun while he mowed his lawn. Washik said she apologized repeatedly, but the "victim" "wouldn't listen to me and ... was screaming at me." She said police "didn't ask me a single question. They didn't ask to see the water gun." Washik was due in court on Sept. 24. [CBC, 9/13/2024]

-- Socorro Camacho, 54, died in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, on Sept. 23 after getting into a dispute with another man over a song played on a jukebox, WSVN-TV reported. The argument started in the wee hours at Antojitos Mexicanos restaurant when Camacho insulted the other man over his song choice, witnesses said. The insulted man "pulled his weapon and started shooting," Mauro Bonilla said. Fort Lauderdale police are investigating and trying to identify the gunman. [WSVN, 9/23/2024]

Bright Idea

A Florida man (of course) was rescued late on Sept. 23 after he apparently attempted to swim across the Detroit River from Windsor, Canada, to Detroit, CBS News reported. The U.S. Mail Boat J.W. Westcott II was launched after hearing of the swimmer, who was using a life ring to help support himself. "There's a very strong current, and the water temperature is about 73 degrees right now," said Capt. Neil Schultheiss. "Even with the life ring, he was struggling." The boat picked up the swimmer after about 10 minutes of searching. Crewmembers said he seemed disoriented and under the influence. "He just kind of kept pacing around the front deck, saying, 'Is this boat U.S.? Are we going back to the U.S.?'" Schultheiss said. He was transferred to an EMS unit. [CBS News, 9/24/2024]

Great Art

Residents of Everett, Washington, must be feeling so much better about themselves following the installation of the Affirmation Station, My Everett News reported on Sept. 25. Artist Timothy C. Flood of Colorado installed the sculpture, which looks like a pedestrian crossing sign, but instead delivers audio and text with messages like "Hey, you're doing a great job" and "You are strong." On the post is a sign inviting the viewers to press a button, which activates the sign. [My Everett News, 9/25/2024]

Poor Crumbs. The now-famous corpulent cat, named for his ability to eat, was found in early September in the basement of a hospital in Perm, Russia, the New York Post reported, where the staff had given him a steady diet of cookies and soup. When he was discovered, he weighed more than 37 pounds -- about three times the average size for a cat -- and was unable to support his weight to walk. Crumbs (or Kroshik, in Russian) was moved to the Matroskin Shelter, where workers put him on a strict diet and exercise regimen -- apparently not his cup of tea, as he tried to escape on Sept. 11. Rehab expert Ekaterina Bedakova said Crumbs was "extremely displeased" when, during his escape attempt, he got himself stuck in a shoe rack and couldn't get out. But she was enthused about his effort because it demonstrated that he's a "very active guy." [NY Post, 9/13/2024]

Precocious

A family in Bedford, Ohio, reported their Nissan Rogue and their 8-year-old daughter missing around 9 a.m. on Sept. 15, the Associated Press reported. Police learned that witnesses had seen a small child driving nearby, but it wasn't until they checked the parking lot at Target, about 13 miles away, that they discovered the car. The girl was inside the store; she told officers that she had hit a mailbox during her journey, but otherwise it went fine. Authorities were weighing whether any charges would be filed. [AP, 9/16/2024]

News You Can Use

-- In Japan, the number of people aged 100 or older has hit a new record -- 95,119, AFP reported on Sept. 17. Most of the centenarians are women, the Ministry of Internal Affairs and Communications noted. The world's oldest person, Tomiko Itooka of western Japan, is 116. Japan's oldest man, Kiyotaka Mizuno, 110, told local media that he has "no idea at all about what's the secret to my long life." [AFP, 9/17/2024]

-- About 40 feet off the coast of Miami Beach, the world's first underwater cemetery is already home to about 1,500 "placements," ClickOrlando reported on Sept. 17. The Neptune Memorial Reef's community resource director, Michael Tabers, said the area had already been designated for an artificial reef when "a group of businessmen in the area ... had the idea." The reef was built "from an artist conception of the Lost City of Atlantis"; customers' cremains are mixed with water and then formed into road columns, archways or depictions of local sea life, such as starfish or seashells. Then the coral grows around them. "We have sea turtle placements; those are some of our more popular ones," Taber said. The reef has already been extended once, but when it fills up, "we will launch the next phase," he said. Coral reef conservation activists are thrilled; the reef provides hard surfaces that help coral to thrive. And loved ones can also dive to visit their family members' resting places. [ClickOrlando, 9/17/2024]

Police Report

Javaughn J. Owens, 23, was charged with first-degree attempted murder after he got into a dispute over a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on Sept. 15, the DeKalb County Daily Chronicle reported. A witness told DeKalb police that Owens and another man argued about the victim "not cleaning up after themselves," whereupon Owens swung a butter knife and struck the other man. The victim was seen at a local hospital but had to be transported to Chicago for further treatment of a punctured intestine. He said he believed "100%" that Owens would kill him. Owens faces up to 60 years in prison. [Daily Chronicle, 9/17/2024]

Inexplicable

Beaches along the Atlantic Ocean in Delaware, Maryland and Virginia were closed to swimmers by authorities on Sept. 15 after mysterious medical waste started washing up, The New York Times reported. The trash included syringes and needles, used feminine hygiene products and plastic cigar tips. "We currently have no idea where it came from and will not be speculating about a source," said the National Park Service office at Assateague Island National Seashore. They were unsure how long beaches would remain closed. "We recommend wearing shoes on the beach and avoiding the ocean entirely," warned Joe Theobald, director of Emergency Services in Ocean City, Maryland. [NY Times, 9/17/2024]

Saw That Coming

Norton Havoc, 32, can now "smell colors," they said, after blowing their nose in the shower and dislodging a Lego block that had been stuck inside for "at least 26 years," the New York Post reported. Havoc posted that they suffered from "multiple breathing issues" after the childhood incident; at the time, their mom tried to extricate the piece with tweezers, to no avail. "I can breathe out of this side of my nose now, and it's fantastic," Havoc said. [NY Post, 9/14/2024]

The Way the World Works

Vacaville, California, resident Ken Wilson is VERY careful about his consumption of electricity. "I was being very vigilant on this," he told KMAX-TV. "Every day that I go to work, I turn the breakers off." He also purchased a device that tells him how many watts of energy his appliances use. But recently he noticed that his bill was higher than normal. Wilson has lived in an apartment, unit 91 of his building, for 18 years. After Wilson called PG&E to come out and check his meter on Sept. 10, he discovered he's been paying for unit 90's electricity usage for years. PG&E admitted the mix-up and said it is "fully committed to rectifying the situation." Wilson said he hopes the story can help others with similar problems. [KMAX, 9/16/2024]

Politics, Am I Right?

As candidates for mayor in Sao Paulo, Brazil, took to the stage for a televised debate on Sept. 15, Pablo Marcal referred to allegations of sexual misconduct against his rival, Jose Luiz Datena, the Associated Press reported. In response, Datena picked up a metal chair and approached Marcal's podium, then slammed the chair into Marcal's side. The moderator cut to commercials, and later the debate resumed without Marcal, who was rushed to a hospital with a fractured rib cage. Marcal portrayed the event as "attempted homicide," while Datena admitted his mistake but said he didn't regret it "at all." [AP, 9/16/2024]

Explosive!

Magnet fisher and YouTuber Dani Dip pulled a provocative find out of the Saint Joseph River in South Bend, Indiana, on Sept. 1, ABC57-TV reported. "We believe this is a 175mm Howitzer round from like a stationary cannon back in the day," Dip said. "It took four people to pull this big 2-foot round over the wall to safety so it wouldn't fall back in and potentially go off." The South Bend Police Department said further testing would be necessary to make sure the charge is not live. "We're just here to help and clean out the river and see what we can find," Dip said. [ABC57, 9/3/2024]

Least Competent Criminal

When 33-year-old Ravesh Rabindranauth attempted to steal a Corvette in a Miami Beach, Florida, parking garage on Sept. 17, he encountered a little trouble, Local10-TV reported. He got stuck inside the car, which is where its owner, Julio Solano, found him. "Can I get out?" Rabindranauth asked Solano as Solano recorded the incident on his phone. "No, you can't get out. We're calling the police." Solano said the car's security system wouldn't allow the thief to start the car or escape. "He didn't know about the manual door release under the seat," Solano said. Rabindranauth was held at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center on $2,500 bond. [Local10, 9/18/2024]