The Colorado Supreme Court in Boulder was the setting on Oct. 24 for a showdown between justices and five elephants, the Associated Press reported. The elephants -- Missy, Kimba, Lucky, LouLou and Jambo -- live at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs. But the NonHuman Rights Project believes the pachyderms should be able to dispute their detention there because they were born in the wild in Africa and are now showing signs of brain damage, such as rocking, which signals distress. The organization wants them to be moved to an accredited elephant sanctuary. The justices were moved by the story but skeptical: "How do I know when it stops?" asked Justice Melissa Hart, who was worried about pet emancipation. The zoo's attorney wasn't having it: "This court, no court is the proper venue for what they're trying to accomplish," he said. [AP, 10/24/2024]

The Continuing Crisis

There's a metaphor for our times in here somewhere ... In the wee hours of Oct. 21, 39-year-old Adam Sotzen showed up at his mother's house in North Liberty, Iowa, The Smoking Gun reported. Sotzen, whose rap sheet is lengthy, was allegedly intoxicated and yelled at his mother while destroying property inside the house, police said, then shoved her to the ground. She was able to move to a recliner chair, where Sotzen approached her with a 3-by-5-foot American flag that he had stolen from a nearby home. Twisting the flag into a rope, Sotzen began choking her while threatening to kill her; she fell to the floor, and Sotzen continued strangling her until her boyfriend tried to intervene. The mother said her 6-foot-3, 230-pound son was "capable of killing her" and used a lot of force while strangling her. Sotzen was charged with assault with intent to inflict serious injury and harassment and held on $30,000. [The Smoking Gun, 10/23/2024]

Spooky!

-- When Joshua Dairen and his wife, Keema Miller, bought a coffee shop in Opelika, Alabama, in early 2023, they might not have expected to experience paranormal phenomena -- but the soldier ghost who frequents the place didn't know that. Metro News reported that Dairen hears "rustling" noises from the back office when he's in the shop alone, and on Sept. 24, the barista saw a "soldier" walking toward them before disappearing. Dairen believes the shop is haunted by someone who died in the Civil War. "I have seen unexplained boot prints on the floor," he said. "Nobody in our shop has ever worn combat boots." Dairen looked back into the town's history and found that many soldiers lost their lives in a raid on Confederate supply depots there. "Luckily, nothing has presented itself as threatening toward us," Dairen said. [Metro News, 10/25/2024]

-- English Heritage, a charity that oversees many historic properties, revealed that Gainsborough Old Hall in Lincolnshire, England, houses a "staggering array" of witches' marks and curses carved into the walls. The Guardian reported on Oct. 29 that volunteer Rick Berry found and mapped about 20 ritual protection marks, believed to repel evil. Berry also discovered daisy wheels and hexafoils, thought to trap demons, and overlapping letter V's, which called on the Virgin Mary for protection. "The Old Hall has undoubtedly had a tumultuous past," said Kevin Booth, English Heritage's head of collections. "Why it's the scene of quite such a high concentration of protective carvings remains a mystery." [Guardian, 10/29/2024]

Latest Religious Message

Attendees of the Lucca Comics and Games conference in Italy this week are getting a first look at the new mascot for the Vatican’s 2025 jubilee, the Catholic News Agency reported. The church declares a jubilee, or a year of grace and pilgrimage, every 10 to 50 years. This year’s new addition is Luce, a cartoon figure a la Olympics mascots, who the church hopes will help engage with “the pop culture so beloved by our young people.” Luce (which means “light” in Italian) and her “pilgrim friends” are promoting “the theme of hope, which is more central than ever to the evangelical message,” said Archbishop Rino Fisichella. [Catholic News Agency, 10/28/2024]

But Why?

Mary Kay Bower, 42, of St. Paul, Minnesota, was arrested on Oct. 19 for rustling and livestock theft, which is a felony, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reported. Officers were alerted to Bower when she and a man were seen walking a sheep and a dog on leashes. Bower told them that she purchased the sheep for $200, but her companion ratted her out: He said she stepped over a farm fence, put a leash on the sheep and pulled it out through the fence. When police checked with the farm owner, they found out that Bower had not paid for the animal, a breeding hair ram worth about $500. Bower's tattoo might have given her away: She has a sheep inked on her left cheek. [Star-Tribune, 10/24/2024]

Oops

On Oct. 24, emergency officials in Stoughton, Wisconsin, contacted the county public health agency after transporting five people with "possible food-borne illness exposure," The New York Times reported. The common denominator? Famous Yeti's Pizza -- but it wasn't tainted onions or bad cheese that sickened patrons. On Oct. 22, a worker at Yeti's ran out of oil while making pizzas, so he visited a shared industrial kitchen nearby. The oil he grabbed was from "food-grade hemp" and contained Delta-9 cannabis, or THC -- the active ingredient in marijuana. "The oil can be used to make everything from cookies to condiments," the health department said. Famous Yeti's served "60 contaminated pizzas," prompting "dozens of reports" of sickness. The restaurant closed for deep cleaning on Oct. 25. [NY Times, 10/29/2024]

Creme de la Weird

A 107-year-old Chinese woman named Chen has become a social media star, the New York Post reported on Oct. 29, because of an unusual facial feature -- a 4-inch-long horn growing out of her forehead. Some viewers think the growth is responsible for Chen's advanced age and are calling it a "longevity horn." Doctors, however, say it's a cutaneous horn, which is often associated with prolonged sun exposure. Nevertheless, Chen remains in good health and eats heartily, and she has no intention of having the horn removed. [NY Post, 10/29/2024]

The Passing Parade

Social media influencers are on the move and extending their "influence" to even the most mundane of travel experiences: putting items in a bin for the TSA conveyor. Reader's Digest reported on Oct. 28 that people are curating their travel bins -- arranging everything just so, then taking photos to post on the socials -- and getting reactions such as "i would buy prints of these!" and "your shoes omg." A TSA spokesperson responded: "As long as the staged glamour photos are not causing delays or issues with other passengers in the checkpoint, there are no issues." [Reader's Digest, 10/28/2024]

Awesome!

Calcea Johnson and Ne'Kiya Jackson, then students at St. Mary's Academy in New Orleans, just hoped to win the $500 prize when their teacher challenged them to create a new proof for the Pythagorean theorem in 2022, NOLA.com reported on Oct. 29. In March 2023, they submitted their work to the American Mathematical Society conference, and "it went well, and it blew up," said Jackson. They were rewarded with a commendation from the Louisiana governor and keys to the city, and their findings were published in American Mathematical Monthly. Since they submitted their proof, they believe they've come up with nine other proofs. Jackson is now studying pharmacology at Xavier University, and Johnson is pursuing environmental engineering at Louisiana State University. [NOLA.com, 10/29/2024]

If the waiting list isn't too long, you may still have a chance to visit McKamey Manor in Summertown, Tennessee, an "immersive horror" experience that is personalized to each guest and involves a six-hour-long tour. People magazine reported on Oct. 8 that guests are required to sign a 40-page waiver and must be over 21; in addition, they may have to complete a "sports physical" and provide proof of medical insurance before arriving. "We're known for no quitting and no safe word," said owner and Navy veteran Russ McKamey. "Your hair may be chopped off, dentistry may be done, you may have a tooth extracted." McKamey was arrested in July for second-degree attempted murder, rape and domestic violence after an incident with his girlfriend, but the charges were dropped in September, and McKamey Manor is up and running. [People, 10/8/2024]

What's in a Name?

Hades Funeral Services in Stalowa Wola, Poland, had to apologize after a mishap with a corpse on Oct. 19, the Associated Press reported. "As a result of an unexpected technical failure of the electric tailgate lock in the hearse," the company announced, "during the transport of the body of the deceased, an unfortunate event occurred" -- that is, the corpse came flying out the back of the car and landed in a crosswalk. The accident "does not reflect the high standards of our company ... and the respect we always show to the deceased," Hades claimed. [AP, 10/19/2024]

The Way the World Works

Stop that hugging! Travelers leaving the New Zealand city of Dunedin better say their goodbyes at home, the Associated Press reported on Oct. 22. The airport's drop-off area will now restrict parting hugs to three minutes in an effort to prevent traffic jams. Airport CEO Dan De Bono said officials hope to "keep things moving smoothly." Not all travelers were accepting of the time limit, saying the rule "breached basic human rights." But, De Bono assured them, "We do not have hug police." [AP, 10/22/2024]

Suspicions Confirmed

Nope, that wasn't Parmesan cheese to sprinkle on your pizza. Police in Dusseldorf, Germany, uncovered a drug ring after busting a pizzeria manager who was selling a popular "No. 40" pie, which was delivered with a side of cocaine, the Associated Press reported on Oct. 22. As officers buzzed the apartment of the manager, he threw a bag of cocaine, cannabis and money out the window, which landed in the officers' hands. After the manager was released, he went right back to delivering No. 40, and that's when investigators uncovered the supply chain, arresting three suspects and raiding the homes of 12 others. Pizza man is back in custody. [AP, 10/22/2024]

Fetish Afoot

A 28-year-old Greek man was arrested on Oct. 8 in Sindos, Greece, after a neighbor reported that he was in the front yard, sniffing his family's shoes, which had been left outside to air out. The Associated Press reported that the sniffer told the court that he couldn't explain his behavior and was embarrassed about it, stressing that he had no intention of hurting anyone. On Oct. 17, the judge sentenced him to a month in prison and mandatory therapy. [AP, 10/17/2024]

It's a Mystery

Scientists in Canada are trying to figure out what the white blobs are that are washing up on Newfoundland beaches. The masses range in size from a coin to a dinner plate, United Press International reported, and started appearing in September. Officials said the mystery substance is under investigation, and opinions are split about whether it could be coming from a whale. "An answer would be nice," groused resident Dave McGrath. [UPI, 10/17/2024]

Speaking of Whales ...

The orca show audience at SeaWorld San Antonio on Oct. 12 was treated to a little something extra when the whale defecated in the pool, then splashed the soiled water onto spectators, United Press International reported. The crowd and employees were hit with the poopy water; SeaWorld has not commented. [UPI, 10/22/2024]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

-- Is today April 1? The Campbell’s Co. announced on Oct. 23 that for a limited time, it is changing the name of its popular Pepperidge Farm cheese snacks from Goldfish to ... Chilean Sea Bass. CNN reported that the switch is part of a strategy to attract adult fans, and the crackers themselves will not change. “We know Goldfish are ... loved by snackers of all ages. ... We went ahead and gave our iconic cheddar cracker a new, fun, grown-up name,” said Danielle Brown, vice president of Goldfish. (Best job title ever.) [CNN, 10/23/2024]

-- In Chestertown, Maryland, students have been studying since 1782 at Washington College, WTOP-TV reported. Our first president gave permission for his name to be used for the school, and even contributed 50 guinea coins toward its founding. But on Oct. 8, the college announced that it would update its logo, adopted in 2013, which uses the general's scripty signature, for something less cursive-y. "Because cursive writing is no longer taught universally in K-12 education, the script ... was difficult to read and not immediately recognizable for many prospective students," said Brian Speer, the college's vice president for marketing and communications. [WTOP, 10/23/2024]

Weird in the Wild

Matilda Campbell was visiting the Hunter Valley on Oct. 12 in New South Wales when she dropped her phone into a 3-meter crevice between two boulders, The Guardian reported. Instead of waving goodbye and heading to the mobile store, Campbell tried to retrieve the device. That's when she slipped upside down into the gap and hung there for seven hours as her friends and emergency workers tried to free her. The team navigated Campbell through a "tight S bend." "In my 10 years as a rescue paramedic, I had never encountered a job quite like this," said Peter Watts. "It was challenging but incredibly rewarding." Campbell, in her early 20s, escaped with only minor scratches and bruises. Her phone is a goner. [Guardian, 10/22/2024]

Government in Action

After an adult man injured himself on a cactus in a school building in Plettenberg, Germany. Mayor Ulrich Schulte and the town council have banned cacti from all municipal buildings, schools and nurseries, Sky News reported on Oct. 16. "All official and private cacti must be removed," Schulte proclaimed, because such plants can cause "ugly injuries." "Even if this order seems adventurous, superfluous or ridiculous to some employees, it has a serious background in terms of protecting the health of all employees and especially children," he said. [Sky News, 10/16/2024]

Redneck Chronicles

Ernest T. Bass has nothing on Roy Clowder, 37, of Coden, Alabama. On Oct. 11, WALA-TV reported, Clowder, who was already on probation, allegedly approached a woman who had stopped at a convenience store and asked her for a ride home. She agreed to take him, but he displayed a gun and told her to move to the passenger seat. Clowder took her to a local church, where he and the woman had a "makeshift wedding" on the church steps. They returned to the car, where Clowder assaulted her while driving around Mobile County; he eventually released her and her car. Authorities arrested Clowder the next day, charging him with first-degree sexual abuse, first-degree kidnapping and first-degree robbery. He's being held without bond. [WALA, 10/16/2024]

At the annual World Conker Championship in Southwick, England, on Oct. 13, veteran player Dave Jakins, 82, won the men's tournament, the Associated Press reported. (Conkers is a traditional game played using the seeds of horse chestnut trees threaded on string; players try to strike and break each other's conkers.) But controversy followed when Jakins was found to have a steel conker in his pocket. His opponent, Alastair Johnson-Ferguson, said his own conker "disintegrated in one hit" after Jakins struck it. "He was very closely watched by four judges," said St. John Burkett, chair of the event's organizing committee. "It looks like it was absolutely impossible for him to cheat." Jakins has denied cheating. [AP, 10/15/2024]

Saw That Coming

An unnamed woman in Kitsap County, Washington, admitted to authorities that she'd been feeding about "a dozen" raccoons in her yard over the past 35 years, The New York Times reported. Several weeks ago, more raccoons started showing up, and on Oct. 3, the homeowner had to call 911 when about 100 animals arrived and became more aggressive. "Anytime she comes out of her house," said sheriff's department spokesperson Kevin McCarty, "they swarm her until she throws them food. ... The new ones showing up scare her." The woman fled her home, and local trappers were going to charge $500 per animal to remove the raccoons. So the state department of fish and wildlife stepped in, suggesting that she simply stop feeding them. "The raccoons appear to have started dispersing now that they are no longer being fed," the department said. [New York Times, 10/10/2024]

Ironies

-- When cops in Portland, Oregon, pulled over a 1994 Ford Taurus that had been stolen on Oct. 9, they met Reginald Reynolds, 35, and Mia Baggenstos, 37, along with their toys: a loaded .357 Magnum, a bag of methamphetamine, $1,360 in cash, three white pills that Baggenstos said were OxyContin, and a meth pipe. The Smoking Gun reported that a vehicle search yielded more meth, two scales, and a "brown bag that said on it, 'Definitely not a bag full of drugs.'" Inside, they found more meth -- a total of about a half-pound. Both were charged with multiple felonies. [The Smoking Gun, 10/11/2024]

-- In Stadtallendorf, Germany, on Oct. 16, a state-of-the-art fire station that had been open less than a year ... burned to the ground, The Guardian reported. The fire started in a vehicle and quickly spread, destroying 10 fire engines and causing between 20 and 24 million euros' worth of damage. "It is a nightmare for a firefighter," said district fire inspector Lars Schafer. He went on to say that the station was not required to have fire alarms because it was classified as a building holding equipment. Schafer said the building would be reconstructed quickly, for safety and for local morale. [Guardian, 10/16/2024]

Oops!

-- In early October, The New York Times reported, passengers aboard a Qantas flight from Sydney, Australia, to Tokyo were treated (or not) to an R-rated film with "sexual material and brief graphic nudity" on their seat screens -- and it couldn't be turned off. Because of technological problems, passengers weren't able to choose their entertainment, so the crew queued up "Daddio," starring Dakota Johnson and Sean Penn, and let it run for about an hour before switching to something more family-friendly. "It was super uncomfortable for everyone," one Reddit user wrote. "We apologize to customers for this experience," a Qantas spokesperson said. [New York Times, 10/9/2024]

-- The BBC apologized on Oct. 10 after releasing a weather forecast predicting winds in London of 20,000 kilometers (13,000 miles) per hour, Yahoo! News reported. Matt Taylor, a meteorologist for the network, soothed concerns: "Hurricane Milton hasn't made it to us here in the U.K.!" He added that a data glitch had caused the extreme forecast, also warning of overnight temperatures of 759 degrees Fahrenheit in Nottingham. "Folk are working to solve the issue," Taylor assured Brits. [Yahoo! News, 10/10/2024]

Unconventional Weapon

In Port St. Lucie, Florida, on Oct. 14, police responded to a report of an explosion, WPBF-TV reported. As they arrived at the scene, Joseph Moreton, 39, began yelling at them from his backyard, then came into the front yard holding a flamethrower. Police asked Moreton to drop the weapon, but he wouldn’t -- luckily, one officer was close enough to grab it out of his hands. Moreton then moved inside his house and got a flashlight, which he tried to blind officers with. Law enforcement tased him, and he was taken into custody. Moreton was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and resisting an officer. [WPBF, 10/15/2024]

Bright Idea

Perfumer Michal Gilbert Lach was inspired by his childhood trips in the 1980s to vegetable markets in Zywiec, Poland, to create his newest scent: Polish Potatoes. TVP reported on Oct. 15 that Lach's latest perfume is going viral on social media. "I create my scents as an olfactory deja vu," said Lach, who visited the markets with his grandparents. "The farmers market was a gateway to another world. Going to the market was like hunting for treasure." Which is what buyers will have to find before picking up a bottle: 1.7 ounces of Polish Potatoes will set you back $185. [TVP, 10/15/2024]

Animal Antics

Paraglider Marshall Mosher of Atlanta, Georgia, was drifting over the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt on Oct. 14 when he noticed something unexpected walking around the top of the structure, the New York Post reported. Mosher posted a zoomed-in photo of a dog on Instagram with the caption, "A dog climbed all the way up the Great Pyramid of Giza!" Viewers worried about the dog's safety, but back on the ground, Mosher posted again standing next to the adventurous dog and explained that dogs in the area often climb up and down the 454-foot-tall pyramid. People have nicknamed the pooch Anubis Pup after the Egyptian god of the underworld who's often portrayed with a canine head. [NY Post, 10/16/2024]

Wait, What?

The Journal of Medical Case Reports published on Oct. 9 the highly unusual case of a cadaver of a 78-year-old man that was revealed to have three penises -- only the second recorded case of triphallia, a condition just discovered for the first time four years ago in a 3-month-old Iraqi child. From the outside, the man's genitalia seemed normal, but as the body was dissected, researchers found two smaller penises situated behind and below the primary one. Such occurrences are thought to result from genetic mutations. [Journal of Medical Case Reports, 10/9/2024]

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

Christopher Laney, 34, of Lancaster, California, was charged on Oct. 16 with using an unregistered drone to deliver narcotics to customers on multiple occasions, The Smoking Gun reported. The Drug Enforcement Administration alleges that Laney used the drone to deliver fentanyl from his home to a church parking lot last year; his client, a woman, died the next day of an overdose. Videos recorded by the drone itself, along with other drugs and three ghost guns, were seized during a raid of Laney's home and used as evidence against him. He faces 25 years in prison. [The Smoking Gun, 10/16/2024]

Questionable Judgment

The owners of the Kith and Kin restaurant in Hudson, Massachusetts, were forced to close their establishment temporarily in the wake of a stroke of bad judgment, WBZ-TV reported. On Oct. 12, a group of World War II reenactors dined at the restaurant after an American Heritage Museum event. But two of the actors were wearing Nazi uniforms, which didn't sit well with the locals. Gary Lewi, a trustee of the museum, called the incident "beyond thoughtless" and said the museum doesn't even allow costumes with SS collars on its grounds. "It's at a time when antisemitic violence is on the rise ... That's repugnant," he said. The restaurant received threats against its workers and apologized for allowing the costumed diners. [WBZ, 10/16/2024]