A Starbucks employee in Mobile, Alabama, had to have stitches and rabies vaccinations on Jan. 10 after a pet Aotus monkey jumped out of a car at the drive-thru window and into the restaurant, according to Lagniappe. The monkey ran up the employee's arm to her head and started biting her until a co-worker grabbed it and threw it back out of the window. Mobile Police Department public information officer Blake Brown said the monkey's owner, Tammy Elaine Gardner, drove away from the restaurant before police arrived. The wounded employee said Gardner, who had another monkey in the car, later returned to the restaurant to check on her but wouldn't give her name. "The owner of the animal could face charges," Brown said. The Starbucks location has banned Gardner and her monkeys from the drive-thru. "She's welcome to come inside if she leaves them in the car," the employee said. [Lagniappe, 1/17/2025]

Wait, What?

Jose Israel Teran Jr., 21, was taken into custody on Jan. 19 in connection with a road rage incident in San Antonio, KSAT-TV reported. In that confrontation, Teran allegedly shot a man in a semitruck while driving north on I-35. But it was Teran's earlier criminal activity, on Dec. 30, that really had law enforcement's attention. He was accidentally added to a family group text string that day, in which members were discussing a 9-month-old baby's upcoming baptism. Teran replied to the text, "That's a nice Caucasian baby how much you want?" He went on to ask, "Are you not interested in selling? I'm willing to start the bid at 500k." The baby's father called Teran, who explained that he purchases babies for their organs and could pay in cash or bitcoin. Teran told police he thought the group thread was spam, but he was charged with the purchase and sale of human organs. [KSAT, 1/10/2025]

Truth Is Stranger Than Netflix

A 3-year-old girl who was visiting Fraser Island in Queensland, Australia, on Jan. 17 was bitten by a dingo, ABC reported. The Queensland Park and Wildlife Service said the girl was bitten on the back of a leg as her family strolled the beach. The family said they were regular visitors and had scanned the beach for dingoes, but "dingoes are quick and it happened suddenly," said head ranger Linda Behrendorff. Other people came to assist in fighting the dingo off using a kayak paddle. The toddler didn't go to the hospital and is expected to recover. [ABC, 1/20/2025]

Questionable Judgment

A housekeeping crew on a P&O Cruises Australia ship took passengers by surprise in December when they paraded by the ship's swimming pool wearing their all-white uniforms with pointy white hoods, News.com reported on Jan. 22. The eight crew were dressed as upside-down snow cones, but passengers were horrified and were quick to document the incident on social media. "We were like, 'are we seeing this correctly,' it was so bizarre," said one cruiser from Melbourne. Lynne Scrivens, communications director for the cruise line, said the housekeeping crew are from all over the world and had never heard of the Ku Klux Klan. "They are limited with what resources they have on ships," she said, explaining that they make do with what they can find for costumes. P&O Cruises Australia issued an apology following the event: "The crew members were horrified." [News.com, 1/22/2025]

Recent Alarming Headline

A plastic surgeon in Taipei City, Taiwan, is being called the "bravest man in Taiwan" after he shared on social media that he had performed his own vasectomy, Oddity Central reported. Chen Wei-nong recorded the surgery for educational purposes and presented the 11 steps necessary to complete the procedure. "It was a strange feeling to touch and suture my own urethra," he wrote. He reassured followers that the surgery was performed outside of work hours and under the supervision of a urologist, and while he experienced some discomfort following the vasectomy, he felt fine the next day. [Oddity Central, 1/17/2025]

Frequent Flyer

Mittens the cat gets around, to wit: On Jan. 13, the 8-year-old Maine coon was booked on a one-way flight from Christchurch, New Zealand, to Melbourne, Australia, Sky News reported. But in Melbourne, Mittens was never unloaded from the baggage compartment. Instead, three hours later, the airline revealed that Mittens had flown back to New Zealand -- about 7.5 hours in the air. Owner Margo Neas was told a wheelchair in the cargo area had obscured Mittens' cage from the baggage handler's view. "It was not a great start to our new life in Melbourne because we didn't have the family, we weren't complete," said Neas. After arriving back in Christchurch, Mittens was loaded onto another flight to Melbourne, where she was reunited with her family. She "ran into my arms and just snuggled up in here," Neas said. "It was just such a relief." [Sky News, 1/22/2025]

Unclear on the Concept

Drug counselor Alvin Lewis Jr., 54, was arrested in Wappingers Falls, New York, on Jan. 14 after he sold crack cocaine to undercover agents on multiple occasions, Mid-Hudson News reported. Community members had alerted the Dutchess County Drug Task Force that Lewis was selling drugs while using multiple aliases. He worked the overnight hours at an inpatient recovery facility, Arms Acres. After executing a warrant, agents discovered crack packaged and ready for sale in his home. He was held in the county jail without bail. [Mid-Hudson News, 1/16/2025]

Awwwww!

A sunfish at the Kaikyokan Aquarium in Shimonoseki, Japan, has a new lease on life -- or at least, new "friends" to share it with. The New York Post reported that the sunfish, who is the sole occupant of its tank, became depressed and stopped eating after the aquarium closed for renovations in December. "One of the staff members said, 'Maybe it's lonely because it misses the visitors,'" said an aquarium worker. "We attached uniforms of the staff members to the tank with a little bit of hope. Then, the next day, it was in good health again!" Workers say the sunfish tracks the uniforms and face cutouts with its eyes as it swims by, and those still in the building wave to it every time they pass the tank. [NY Post, 1/20/2025]

News You Can Use

A23a, an enormous iceberg that broke away from Antarctica almost 40 years ago, has been spinning around the Antarctic Ocean for a year, caught in a vortex, the Mirror reported. But now it's on the move again, headed roughly toward South Georgia, a British-owned island that is largely uninhabited. A23a, at more than 1,200 feet thick and 1,400 square miles, can be seen from space. Sea captain Simon Wallace, stationed on the Pharos vessel in South Georgia, told the BBC: "Icebergs are inherently dangerous. I would be extraordinarily happy if it just completely missed us." A collision could threaten wildlife on the island, including penguins, seals and sea birds. The iceberg's fate depends on currents and whether it gets "stuck" on the continental shelf around the island. [Mirror, 1/23/2025]

The Golden Age of Air Travel

On Jan. 17, as a Ryanair flight prepared to leave Lanzarote, Spain, and fly to Santiago de Compostela, a male passenger insisted that he was a United Nations diplomat and had a seat in the front row of the aircraft, the Mirror reported. When flight attendants asked to see his boarding pass, he said his friend had it. Once he was removed from the front row, he tried to sit in an exit row. An airport worker boarded the plane to say that "there was a ticket that hadn't scanned properly," and that's when the flight crew decided he had to go. Police boarded the plane and had to drag the man off the aircraft as he said, "I have paid to travel" and "I am not going to accept this." The flight was delayed about 40 minutes. [Mirror, 1/23/2025]

In early November, Emily James, 27, of Kansas City, Missouri, underwent a most unusual and expensive ($17,000) body-altering surgery, the New York Post reported. The trans woman had six ribs removed from her ribcage in order to achieve a smaller waist. The recovery gave her plenty of time to think about what she wanted to do with those extra ribs -- yes, the hospital gave them to her -- and her options seemed limitless: Make them into dog toys, boil them down for broth, have an "Emily barbecue." But eschewing all the cannibalistic notions, James has come up with the perfect project: "I plan on having someone make a crown and, like, incorporate my bone pieces in there," she said. "Getting my ribs removed doesn't change the fact that I'm a kind, loving trans girl. It's my money, my body and I'm going to do what I want with it." Yas queen. [NY Post, 1/10/2025]

Precocious

A 12-year-old boy from Grand Traverse County in Michigan was charged with joy riding, operating a motor vehicle without a license, carrying a concealed weapon and possession of marijuana on Jan. 12, MLive.com reported. The boy's parents contacted the county sheriff when they realized their 2000 Chevy Blazer was missing, saying their son had taken it. They had tracked his progress south into Clare County, where deputies were alerted to be on the lookout. By the time he was stopped, he had driven more than 90 miles; officers found a 12-gauge pump-action shotgun and ammunition, along with a little weed, but said there was no indication that he planned to use the gun. He did tell deputies he was unhappy at home. He was released to his parents. [MLive, 1/14/2025]

Compelling Explanation

San Mateo, California, police arrested a Kentucky man early on the morning of Jan. 12 for a suspected hit-and-run incident, CBS News reported. Frank Falcone, 62, told officers that he was driving northbound on Pacific Boulevard when a southbound car came toward him with its high beams on. The lights disturbed Falcone "because of the brightness and potential radiation," he said, so he rammed the other car. When it stopped, he allegedly rammed it two more times. Falcone fled the scene and told officers he evaded them because people impersonate cops. He was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. [CBS News, 1/13/2025]

Um ...

Nigerian gospel singer Timileyin Ajayi, 30, was arrested on Jan. 12 as he carried a bag that contained the severed head of his reported girlfriend, the BBC reported. The bag drew the attention of other people, who held him until police arrived. "The suspect was found with a fresh human head," Nasarawa police said, "and when we got to the scene, we rescued him from being mobbed." Other parts of the deceased's body were found later at his home. Abby Simon, a friend of the 24-year-old victim, said Ajayi was not her boyfriend. "Even if she was his girlfriend, she didn't deserve to die this way," Simon said. [BBC, 1/14/2025]

You Had One Job

Brigantine (New Jersey) police were called to a home on the Jersey Shore on Jan. 13 after a neighbor found a toddler wandering around outdoors, NBC Philadelphia reported. The neighbor recognized the child and returned them to their home, where she found babysitter Jena Davidson, 35, passed out on the floor. First responders took Davidson to the hospital, where it turned out she had "consumed a significant amount of the homeowner's alcohol to the point that she became unconscious and unresponsive," police reported. She was charged with endangering the welfare of a child. [NBC Philadelphia, 1/14/2025]

Bright Idea

Toilet paper shoppers in Kagoshima Prefecture in southern Japan have a new option, GoodNewsNetwork.org reported on Jan. 14: rolls made from used diapers and other hygiene products. The cities of Shibushi and Osaki worked together to recycle disposable diapers starting in April 2024. The used items are sanitized, bleached and shredded into a pulp to be mixed with recycled paper, to the tune of 30,000 rolls in the first two months of production. They're sold at $2.70 for a dozen rolls. "Please support this eco-friendly product, which aims to promote a sustainable society by reusing local resources," said Takumi Obo, spokesperson for the Osaki Municipal Government's SDGs Promotion Council. [GoodNewsNetwork.org, 1/14/2025]

Irony

On Dec. 18 at the Family Dollar store in Mulberry, Florida, two shoplifters worked together to pull off a cleaning products heist, the Miami Herald reported on Jan. 10. The Polk County Sheriff's Office, referring to the couple as Mr. Clean and Ms. Dookie until an arrest is made, hatched a plan to distract employees. "The man walked around the store gathering nearly $500 worth of merchandise (like lots of Gain, Tide and Clorox products)," officers said, "whilst the woman ... (used) the restroom, without going to the restroom." While employees cleaned up the mess, Mr. Clean walked past the registers and out to a Ford van, where Ms. Dookie joined him, and they drove away. The odd couple are still at large. [Miami Herald, 1/10/2025]

Unclear on the Concept

Hampton, Virginia, police officer J'ron Harry lost his job after a less-than-satisfying encounter with a prostitute on Dec. 30, WAVY-TV reported. Harry met 20-year-old Alexus "Dream" Copeland on an app and arranged to meet her that day at an apartment in Virginia Beach, police say. They agreed to shower together, but Copeland never came into the bathroom, instead lifting Harry's phone, keys, wallet and car (with police credentials). Police were able to track down the car in Norfolk; Copeland told them Harry had given her permission to borrow his car, but she was charged with grand larceny, credit card fraud and prostitution. Harry was not charged but was terminated on Jan. 7. [WAVY, 1/14/2025]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

A coyote "made a mistake" on Jan. 13 and ended up in the refrigerated case of the produce section at an Aldi store in Chicago, WLS-TV reported. It was sequestered behind a selection of fine cheeses after roaming around the parking lot just minutes earlier. "It picked an odd location," said Stan Gehrt with the Cook County Coyote Project. "They do this sometimes. They're trying to hide from us." Gehrt said many of the animals who end up in a sketchy situation are those who haven't found a mate yet. The coyote will be evaluated by the Flint Creek Wildlife Rehabilitation group, which will determine whether it can be released back into the wild. [WLS, 1/13/2025]

Least Competent Criminal

Victoria state police in Australia released a video on Jan. 9 in an effort to identify two would-be arsonists who bungled their crime, Yahoo! News reported. In the video, two people in dark hoodies attempted to set fire to a Melbourne fast-food outlet on Christmas morning, but one of them became engulfed in flames. The footage shows the person removing their fiery trousers and running away bare-cheeked; the other person was seemingly unharmed. [Yahoo! News, 1/10/2025]

Mistaken Identity

As a group of schoolchildren walked home on Jan. 13 in Syracuse, New York, Onondaga County Sheriff's deputies approached the kids and said one girl, wearing a pink jacket and camo pants, was the suspect in a car theft nearby. WSTM-TV reported that another child started recording video as the 11-year-old girl and her friends denied the accusation and deputies put her in handcuffs. They showed the kids a picture of the suspect and said, "Girl, you gonna tell me this ain't you?" Eventually, one deputy noticed that the suspect had longer hair and "apologized," saying, "I'm sorry about it, but you matched the description pretty clearly." The sheriff's department reviewed the situation and claimed the detainment was "lawful and reasonable," but Sheriff Toby Shelley met with the girl's mother afterward and called their conversation "productive." [WSTM, 1/15/2025]

In Beeston, Nottinghamshire, England, locals are perplexed about a monthly offering at the corner of Abbey Road and Wensor Avenue, United Press International reported on Jan. 6. Starting over a year ago, on the second day of each month, a plate heaped high with peeled bananas has appeared at the intersection. Resident Clare Short said she put up a sign reading, "Please, respectfully, no more bananas! The uncollected plates and rotting bananas leave such a mess." But on Jan. 2, a new plate appeared. "I think it's a special thing for someone, and I wish them well," Short said, adding that she has taken down her sign. "But if they could come back and clean up the mess a few days later that would be lovely." [UPI, 1/6/2025]

Heroes

On Jan. 5 in rural Norton, Kansas, temps following the big snowstorm weren't even reaching 20 degrees, and the wind chill was 5 below zero, KAKE-TV reported. That didn't stop two linemen who were trying to restore power to area residents from going above (literally) and beyond: On top of a utility pole, a bobcat and her kitten were frozen to the line and the pole. Dominic Urban and Eric Hartwell worked for about two hours to free the frigid felines. "I couldn't knock them off," Urban said. "(The mother) was frozen down to the top of the pole ... I beat the ice loose then lowered her to the ground. I had to do the same with the kitten." He said the mom and kitten ran off immediately after reaching the ground. [KAKE, 1/6/2025]

It's Orwellian

A pair of pernicious porcine perpetrators are in the crosshairs of the Pataskala, Ohio, Police Department after a horrendous incident on Christmas Day, WOIO-TV reported. According to Chief Bruce Brooks, family members called for a welfare check on 75-year-old Rebecca Westergaard when they couldn't reach her. Police found the woman dead on her property near her home. Westergaard had been mauled and eaten by two pigs that belong to her neighbor, police said. Brooks said it's unclear whether charges will be filed, since the animals are livestock rather than pets. "It's just not something we've ever dealt with here," Brooks said. [WOIO, 1/7/2025]

News You Can Use?

If you own a Toto Washlet bidet toilet, listen up: Don't wipe the seat with toilet tissue. United Press International reported on Jan. 3 that owners have been complaining about the seats getting scratch marks and becoming discolored. A Toto spokesperson said the tissue can cause tiny scratches that expand and trap dirt. Instead, customers are urged to use a soft cloth and diluted detergent. The company also said there are "no plans to change the material at this time." [UPI, 1/3/2025]

The Tech Revolution

-- The Summit County (Colorado) Sheriff's Department responded to a call on Jan. 7 on the slopes of Keystone Resort: not an injured skier, but a wayward car that had taken a wrong turn and ended up on the Schoolmarm ski run. United Press International reported that the abandoned car had a note on the windshield, explaining that the driver had been following GPS and ended up stuck in the snow. A tow truck removed the car, which was returned to the owner. [UPI, 1/8/2025]

-- A small Welsh village has been inundated by shoppers looking for an Aldi supermarket that doesn't exist, Oddity Central reported on Jan. 6. A pin on Google Maps, probably dropped as a prank, directs shoppers and delivery drivers to a grassy field in Cyffylliog, leaving locals unamused. One large milk tank truck became stuck on a narrow village street while trying to locate the store, and "a bloke with a pallet of bread ... thought he'd been hired to stock shelves," one resident said. Finally, Aldi got involved and said it would work with Google Maps to get the pin removed. [Oddity Central, 1/6/2025]

Ewwww!

On Jan. 3, the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers defeated the Virginia Tech Hokies at the Duke's Mayo Bowl in Charlotte, North Carolina, The New York Times reported. The real highlight of the game, though, is the tradition of dumping 5 gallons of mayonnaise (Duke's, of course) on the winning coach's head. Other condiment-related attractions include mayo bobbing (trying to catch mayo packets swimming in mayo) and mayo giveaways with team logos. And for 2025, Flavor Flav was revealed as the Duke's Mayo celebrity mascot. Last year, Duke's had a record day of online sales during the contest. They may-o be doing something right! [New York Times, 1/3/2025]

It's Come to This

The Federal Agency for the Safety of the Food Chain in Belgium was forced to issue a warning to the country on Jan. 7 against eating Christmas trees, United Press International reported. The statement was in response to the city of Ghent recommending cooking with conifer needles. "You can make delicious spruce needle butter with them for bread or toast," Ghent's website read. But the FASFC wasn't having it: Christmas trees "are not meant to end up in the food chain" because many have been treated with pesticides and other chemicals, including flame retardant. Ghent responded by changing its headline to read "Scandinavians eat their Christmas trees" and added a warning: "not all Christmas trees are edible." Way to throw the Vikings under the bus, Belgians! [UPI, 1/9/2025]

The Golden Age of Air Travel

-- A Boeing 777 operated by Air France was forced to make an emergency landing in Brazil in early January after a passenger caused the toilet to be unusable, the Mirror reported. The flight, which was on its way to Rio de Janeiro, was almost there when it diverted to Fortaleza's Pinto Martins International Airport. Brazilian media did not provide details of the clog. The unit was serviced and unclogged, and the flight continued on its way. [Mirror, 1/6/2025]

-- Whitney Kayla Watt, 30, got herself arrested for disorderly conduct and resisting law enforcement on Jan. 5 at Indianapolis International Airport, the New York Post reported. Watt, who was flying on Southwest Airlines, objected to her bag being flagged as 5 pounds too heavy and let loose a string of obscenities and racial slurs after saying, "I work at a law firm ... I am freaking out right now," among other things. She said one of her children, who were with her, was supposed to get "a very important surgery that he couldn't have." Penny Thomson, who witnessed the outburst and posted video on social media, noted, "What's sad is her kids saw this and it didn't even phase (sic) them." [NY Post, 1/7/2025]

No Longer Weird

It's that time again, Florida: falling iguana season. Accuweather reported on Jan. 8 that as temperatures drop along the Gulf Coast and southeast Florida, cold-stunned iguanas are likely to fall out of trees after losing their grip on the branches. Residents are warned that the reptiles appear to be dead, but they're just sleeping. Fully grown iguanas can be up to 5 feet long and up to 25 pounds, so they present a danger to unsuspecting humans walking along the sidewalk. Professional iguana remover Michael Ronquillo warns against handling the lethargic animals, saying they can become defensive when they warm up. Plus, their droppings can contain salmonella. [Accuweather, 1/8/2025]