Q: Does sexual fulfillment decrease as we get older? My spouse and I are in our 60s, and I'm concerned normal aging issues might have negative implications for our relationship in the bedroom.

Jim: Many people seem to believe that libido inevitably fades with age, and that elderly couples who are still interested in sex are abnormal. This idea is largely mythical. In actuality, sexual desire depends more on a state of mind and emotional attitudes than on one's chronological age.

Generally, it's normal to have an ongoing interest in sex throughout one's adult life. Like the young, older people experience the full range of human feelings and emotions. They also need love and affection -- sometimes in large amounts. Researchers have shown that normal interest in and capacity for sex continues into the 80s. It may in some cases decrease in intensity because of specific problems with self-image, such as a feeling that one is no longer attractive, but this is not always true. It can also be affected, of course, by illness, aches and pains, complications of surgical procedures or certain other physical problems that accompany the aging process.

It's important to bear in mind that sexual intimacy in marriage is a lifelong process. Different forms of expression may be appropriate at different phases of the relationship. Where pain or physical incapacity has limited certain types of sexual activity, it's worth remembering that sexual intercourse per se is not necessarily the only option for physical intimacy. Touch, physical closeness, skin-to-skin contact, even intimate conversation can be extremely satisfying in the absence of other forms of sexual pleasure. At every stage of life, healthy attitudes toward marital sex should be characterized by candor, vulnerability, flexibility and willingness to communicate.

Please call one of our licensed therapists at 855-771-4357 if we can help further.

Q: We're a year out before our son is scheduled to begin kindergarten. For a variety of reasons, he won't be attending preschool, and I'm afraid this might put him at a disadvantage next year. Is there anything I can do to compensate for this?

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting: It's important to understand that cultivating "school readiness" isn't simply a matter of formal academic training. All of a child's early experiences, whether at home or in organized preschool settings, are educational. There are a number of things, then, you can do at home to optimize his chances of succeeding in the academic arena. Here are a few suggestions:

-- Read books aloud with your child. Get him used to handling books and help him recognize the difference between pictures and print.

-- Engage in informal counting activities. This will strengthen your child's understanding of numbers. Familiarize him with the alphabet.

-- Develop reading readiness by promoting your child's phonological awareness. You can do this by reading nursery rhymes, singing and clapping along with songs, and playing games with rhyming words.

-- Spend time talking, playing and cuddling with your child. Take steps to stimulate informal conversation. Give him opportunities to ask lots of questions. Encourage play that promotes creativity, imagination and problem-solving skills.

-- If your child has trouble sitting still, practice having him concentrate on a task for a short period of time (10 minutes). Over several months, increase that time until he can remain focused for 30 minutes or so.

-- Create and maintain a regular routine in your home. Emphasize mealtimes, naptimes, bedtime, etc. Help your child to become comfortable with this rhythm.

-- Encourage behaviors and activities that develop a sense of responsibility in your child (e.g., simple chores) and that demonstrate respect and courtesy.

-- Look for opportunities to develop your child's social skills through playgroups.

If you have additional concerns or if our counselors can be of further help, please call us at 855-771-4357.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: Is it appropriate for my mom to demand that I -- a 30-something independent woman -- allow her to "vet" the men in my life? She insists it's her prerogative and responsibility as a parent. I have a potential suitor who's visiting from out of town, and my mother says she needs four hours alone with him so that she can "check him over" and "tell him about me."

Jim: Unfortunately, it sounds like your mom has serious control issues. Wise motherly advice is a good thing when it's offered in the right way. But your mom needs to understand that advice isn't advice until it's requested. Whatever your mother may think, at this stage of your life it's not her place to tell you what to do.

If you think she'd be open to hearing your concerns, I'd suggest you talk to her about your feelings. You might say something like, "Mom, I appreciate your concern for me, but I need to make these types of decisions for myself." Then let her know that she simply doesn't have the right to subject your prospective boyfriends to some kind of interrogation. If she listens and agrees, you've gained your point. If not, you may need to keep your distance. Boundaries are good for all kinds of relationships -- especially relationships with controlling and manipulative personalities.

This isn't to say you shouldn't seek wise counsel from others who know you well. In fact, I'd strongly encourage you to enlist the help of a licensed marriage counselor if your relationship has or may soon be moving in the direction of marriage. Pre-engagement counseling offers the best option for determining if your relationship is marriage material before the ring is purchased and the invitations mailed out. Call us at 855-771-4357 for a referral and other resources.

Q: How can we know whether or not our child is ready to start school? Can you suggest any basic guidelines?

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting: School readiness is a term that generally refers to the emotional, behavioral and cognitive skills a child needs in order to learn, work and function successfully in school. It's a complex issue. Every child is unique and every situation needs to be evaluated in light of its own special circumstances.

Since you know your child better than anyone else, you are the best person to determine whether and when he's ready to take on the challenge of formal schooling. Here's a basic checklist of questions you can ask as you try to make that assessment:

-- Is your child enthusiastic about starting school? Is he eager to learn?

-- Does he demonstrate a desire to be independent? Can he dress himself, tie his own shoes, use the bathroom on his own and work independently with supervision?

-- Does he have the basic language skills he'll need to succeed in school? Does he speak in full sentences? Can he understand and follow simple instructions? Is he able to identify sound units in words and recognize rhyme?

-- What about basic academic knowledge? Does he know his numbers and his ABCs? Can he identify primary colors and basic shapes? Can he write his own name and recite his own personal information? If not, could he be taught to do so?

-- Has he mastered simple motor skills, such as throwing a ball, skipping or climbing, or working with puzzles, scissors and paints?

-- Is he capable of controlling his behavior and demonstrating acceptable social skills? Can he play and work with others, follow rules and sit still for up to 30 minutes at a time?

If you have additional concerns or if our counselors can be of further help, please call us at 855-771-4357.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: Should I be concerned that my husband of three months no longer wants to do everything together? Since marrying in April, we've had the time of our lives -- just the two of us. But today, he opted to go hiking with a couple of his guy friends instead of going shopping with me.

Jim: Although romance novels and poetry are marketed and sold on the idea that "my spouse is my everything," couples who buy into -- and won't let go of -- this belief are usually doomed to be miserable. The truth is that it's impossible for one person to meet our every need. I learned that the hard way.

When my wife, Jean, and I were first married, we spent a lot of time together, traveling to high schools around the country to encourage kids to avoid drugs. It was a great season in our lives and -- being an extrovert -- I loved the constant interaction.

But Jean is an introvert. She enjoyed the work we did in schools as much as I did, but she felt drained by all the people. One afternoon, she headed out the hotel door for some groceries. I asked to tag along, but she said, "Jim, I love you, but I'd really like to be alone." Initially, I was hurt. But I soon realized that she needed time alone to recharge her batteries. Once I learned to give Jean some breathing room, not only did she reap the benefits -- but our marriage did as well.

Your husband can't meet your every need, so fill those spaces with other healthy activities. Have good friendships, pursue hobbies you find satisfying, or simply enjoy a little solitude. Give each other reasonable room to breathe, and you'll find your times together will be even richer.

Q: My preteen daughter has developed a real talent and love for dancing. We signed her up for classes six months ago, and she's having the time of her life. Aside from her exceptional ability, she's made some special friends and has blossomed with confidence. The problem is the music she's dancing to. It's inappropriate for someone her age, and I sense that her instructor wouldn't be receptive to changing it. But with all the positive benefits of her involvement in class, we're hesitant to pull her out. How should we handle the situation?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged-In: It's great to hear your daughter has discovered an activity she enjoys and that is well-suited to her skills and interests. That said, I can appreciate the mixed emotions you're feeling because of the inappropriate music that's been a part of the experience.

Sadly, it's no longer unusual for kids or adults to be held hostage to the R-rated playlists of musical gatekeepers, whether at the grocery store, sporting events or on the school bus. Adding to this concern is the fact that numerous studies have concluded that suggestive and risque music shapes teen and preteen sexual values and behaviors. What's a responsible parent to do?

While your impressions regarding the instructor's receptivity may be on target, I'd still encourage you to approach him or her respectfully and privately to express your concern. Bring printed copies of the song lyrics. It's quite possible that, like many of us, the instructor has never really heard the messages behind the music and maybe will make changes upon being made aware. You could also suggest a list of alternative tunes with similar musical elements -- minus the racy content.

If your concerns fall on deaf ears, however, then I'd suggest the loving response would be to find another dance option for your daughter. Aren't her heart, mind and soul worth it?

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.