Q: My parents are getting older, and I know I'm going to assume a larger portion of their care in the near future. What should I expect, and how do I know when it's time to take on more personal responsibility for their physical well-being?

Jim: Aging and death are inescapable realities of life. As we grow older, our bodies go through a natural aging process that involves changes in body function like these:

-- Fatigue and dizziness

-- Loss of appetite

-- Slowing of the digestive and urinary functions

-- Respiratory problems due to decreased elasticity of the lungs

-- Deterioration of skin and muscles

-- Decreasing visual acuity due to cataracts and stiffening of the lens

-- Weakened immune system

These changes are all part of the normal aging process, though your parents' organ systems may continue to work normally unless injury or illness occurs. At the same time, these physiological differences can increase an elderly person's chances of developing other problems like heart disease, diabetes, arthritis or high blood pressure.

At some point, your parents will likely need medical assistance. If you maintain a close relationship with your parents and regular contact with their physicians, you should be able to better gauge their ability to care for themselves. There will most likely come a time when they'll need your assistance with their personal needs and routine business matters. They may ask for your help at this point -- but it could be that you'll simply have to step in.

To sum up, as you walk through this season, I encourage you to stay in close touch with your loved ones and their medical providers. This is a case where there's no such thing as too much communication. I wish you the best.

Q: My 18-year marriage has been pretty rocky. My spouse and I have both done things requiring forgiveness, but we want to start fresh. How can we restore trust in our relationship?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: When it's taken years to build the walls of bitterness and suspicion in your relationship, you can't expect to tear them down in one day. Restoring trust takes time, and it's a process that requires forgiveness.

Trust is something that's earned. It can be broken fairly quickly, but the rebuilding process can take a long time. This is especially true when the offenses were really hurtful or were repeated multiple times. When you've been wounded, it's difficult to trust again unless you can see tangible evidence of change. In this case, since you've both been at fault, you need to work together to identify the things you each need to demonstrate going forward. And be realistic; you should each be able to reasonably expect from your partner:

-- Willingness to take personal responsibility without shifting blame or being evasive.

-- Determination to develop a plan to prevent further offenses.

-- Active commitment to seek counseling, individually if necessary but definitely together.

Forgiveness is also an important part of the healing process -- but this concept is often misunderstood. Forgiveness is not:

-- Condoning or excusing the offense.

-- Forgetting past abuses or injustices.

-- Minimizing or justifying negative behavior.

-- Immediately trusting the offender again.

Instead, true forgiveness is:

-- Letting go of unhealthy anger (bitterness, the silent treatment or revenge).

-- Making a commitment to work through the issues together to identify and resolve the root causes of the problem.

-- Actively rebuilding the relationship on a foundation of trust.

I strongly encourage you and your spouse to discuss these concepts with a certified marriage counselor. You can start with our staff of licensed family therapists here at Focus on the Family by calling 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: I fill a lot of important roles: husband, father, breadwinner, business owner, church leader, youth sports coach, etc. But I usually feel like I'm running behind, and I guess I vent my stress on my family sometimes. How can I find a better life balance?

Jim: People are busier than ever these days. With family responsibilities, work pressures and volunteer opportunities, the list can be endless.

There's a famous quote often attributed to Samuel L. Clemens, better known by his pen name of Mark Twain: "The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one." I don't know if Clemens actually said that, but it's a good principle. When things start to get overwhelming, sometimes it helps to just address one person or thing at a time -- starting with those closest to you.

Maybe you need to prioritize your commitments, saying no to good things so you can say yes to better things ... like making time for dates with your wife or conversations with your kids. Maybe your family needs to turn off all the electronic devices and eat dinner together. Maybe you need to make the first move to mend a broken relationship. Maybe you need to organize your home or office.

Stress affects everyone and comes in all shapes and sizes. But how we handle it can mean the difference between sinking or swimming. And making even the smallest changes -- just taking life one day or one breath at a time -- can keep you moving forward.

For more tips to help your family thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I want to help my children learn that their actions make a statement about their character. Do you have any suggestions?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: Each of our actions suggests something about our values and motives. This goes for parents as well as kids, so what we model speaks louder than what we say.

Many of our behaviors can be interpreted in light of "I'm acting as if" statements. For example, being impatient with your children can translate into "I'm acting as if my kids are a nuisance to me." Working insanely long hours might equal "I'm acting as if rest and renewal are unimportant for me and my family."

But there are positive "I'm acting as if" messages, too. Listening intently to your daughter and talking with her conveys the idea "I'm acting as if understanding and guiding my kids is important." Setting a bedtime for your younger children says "I'm acting as if boundaries and limits are important because they encourage healthy habits."

Similarly, the phrase, "you are acting as if" holds a mirror up to your child's character. It can help start the conversation about what's observed and what may need some attention.

For instance, after observing a child's behavior, a parent could say "I've noticed you acting as if ..."

-- A smartphone is your only ticket to social survival.

-- You can't get by without video games.

-- School is a miserable place for you.

-- Winning is what gives you value.

-- Wearing certain clothes is critical to finding love.

-- Having a boyfriend or girlfriend seems like a "need" to you.

Parents can follow up on these statements by asking "Am I on target or not? Why?"

This exercise is a tool to get the conversation pointed inward rather than getting stuck on outward behaviors. It's also designed to focus your efforts on understanding, communication and guidance rather than control. Character formation takes a lot of work and grows from the inside out.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: It seems like every time I try to make some improvement in my life, like learning a new skill or developing a good habit, I fall short of my goals. I might make some progress, but never as much as I want. It's very discouraging. What's your advice?

Jim: One of the greatest barriers to success is an "all or nothing" attitude. That's when you convince yourself that minor setbacks justify scrapping the whole endeavor. It's like when you slip up on your diet and eat a pint of ice cream. That one mistake causes some people to abandon their diet for the rest of the week ... or the rest of the month ... or even permanently.

Abandoned goals litter the road of life. Staying the course is especially difficult when the changes you're making are big ones. It's not easy to start an exercise program or to give an important relationship a whole new level of time and attention. Change doesn't happen overnight. In fact, research says that it takes an average of 66 days to form new habits. That means you have to remain persistent and expect a few setbacks along the way.

The good news is that setbacks don't have to turn into complete derailment. Success may require a lot of things from you, but perfection isn't one of them. We all fall short sooner or later. And those missteps can have a good outcome if you stay hungry, productive and are willing to learn and grow. The path to the finish line doesn't always go around failure -- it usually goes right through the heart of it.

Writer and philosopher G.K. Chesterton once wrote: "Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." So give yourself a little room to fail. Cut yourself some slack and keep on trying.

Q: As a media analyst, what's your biggest concern about today's culture? And what, if anything, gives you hope?

Adam Holz, Plugged In: That's a great question. I think my biggest concern involves the way technology has increasingly insinuated itself into every nook, cranny and crevice of our lives. That's largely due to the portable nature of smartphones. They've made constant connection with content of all kinds a way of life for many people. And though we often see articles about children's screen-time concerns, research also shows that many parents have similar habits or perhaps even addictions when it comes to our screens.

All that time connected to screen-based media comes freighted with potential problems. Obviously, there's the question of content -- of what we're looking at and listening to. For teens, the content issue is huge, especially if parents haven't utilized appropriate internet filters and focused on building a relationship where they can talk to their teens about their online habits. But beyond that, screen time is also conditioning our brains and neural connections to pick up these devices compulsively, potentially to the detriment of our important relationships and health. And though social media theoretically helps us connect with others, for many teens and adults alike, it's increasingly being correlated with anxiety, depression and other mental health concerns.

On the brighter side, however, more and more experts are sounding the alarm about the potential pitfalls of too much exposure to screen-based content of all kinds. Just as culture slowly awakened to the health hazards of smoking a generation ago, researchers are increasingly warning about the need to rein in our culture's love affair with mobile connectivity. Unplugging from some of these habits won't be easy, but a growing chorus of voices are encouraging and equipping us to do exactly that.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.