Q: We're traveling for Christmas with our two small children; it will be their first airline flight. Do you have any suggestions to make it easier?

Jim: Traveling with little ones can be a challenge, especially at Christmas. My friend Shawna Purvis is a full-time flight attendant for a major airline; her husband, Ryan, is a commercial pilot. Shawna was kind enough to offer some suggestions for this question:

-- Avoid surprises at the airport

Go online prior to packing and check the airline's specific baggage policies. Some airlines exempt military families from baggage fees; others allow car seats and strollers to be checked for free.

-- Dress in layers

Cabin temperature can fluctuate wildly. Layers allow you to shed when you (and the kids) are too hot and bundle up when you're too cold.

-- Plan child-friendly entertainment

A movie or game on your phone or tablet is a good idea (don't forget headphones!). But have a back-up plan. Before the trip, go to a bargain store and buy a toy or two for each hour of travel. Your children will love playing with new toys, and you won't care if the toys accidentally get left behind on the airplane. (Remember to open packages at home; there are no scissors on the plane.)

-- Consider bringing a favorite snack/pillow/blanket

Long gone are the days of airlines providing free pillows, blankets and meals.

-- Prepare for popped-ear pain

Lollipops are good for plugged ears as well as little mouths that won't stop chattering.

-- Manners really do matter

Even if you had a bad experience with TSA or the gate agent, the flight attendant is a different person. If you set a positive tone with them, they'll be more willing to help you out as much as they're allowed.

-- Ease the airport pickup

Picking someone up during the Christmas season can be a hassle. Try meeting your party at the departure area of the airport. The lineup of cars is usually a lot shorter.

Q: My in-laws are coming to our house for Christmas. I'll admit that my relationship with them isn't the best. Do you have any pointers for at least trying to keep the tension to a minimum?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Even if we don't have difficulties relating to our in-laws, we've probably at least heard stories about a meddling mother-in-law or an obnoxious member of the extended family. No matter how hard we try, we just can't seem to make a connection with these people.

The first thing that comes to mind is a verse written by the Apostle Paul: "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18). The only attitude you can control is your own.

I also think of the book, "Loving Your Relatives: Even When You Don't See Eye-to-Eye." The authors recommend embracing a few simple rules of civility. For example:

-- Always remember to smile (and not through gritted teeth). People generally respond better to someone who's smiling.

-- Make sure you're considerate and practice restraint. Never raise your voice.

-- Have the courage to admit when you're wrong, and never ridicule or demean the other person.

-- Try to see things from their perspective.

-- Be accepting and understanding of your in-laws' shortcomings -- and recognize that you have your own faults and hang-ups as well.

These are good rules to keep in mind when dealing with difficult people in any situation, not just your in-laws. But they're especially important in a situation like this Christmas when you're "stuck" with people you'd perhaps rather avoid.

No matter how frustrating things get, remember to be civil. It just might start to thaw the ice between you and your in-laws.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: We're still a few weeks out from Christmas and (once again) we've already blown our budget. I sometimes wonder if it will take until next Christmas to get this Christmas paid off! I guess this year is kind of a wash, but next year I want to be more disciplined. Do you have any helpful suggestions?

Jim: It seems like this is a common refrain for many people. It's not necessarily "too late" this year -- but going forward, there are a few simple ideas to bear in mind that'll help keep debt from ruining your Christmas spirit.

First of all, guard against overindulgence. Sometimes we don't hold back on our spending because we look forward to our children's smiles on Christmas morning. But it's important to give our kids realistic expectations so they won't expect loads of presents under the tree. Set your Christmas budget at a reasonable level, and don't feel guilty about it. If you know you already overextended this year, it might be worth returning a few purchases for refunds now if you can.

Looking ahead, try this next year: Put aside a little bit of cash each month for a fixed Christmas budget. That way, when the shopping season rolls around, you'll have a good head start.

Another idea is to let your children know the family can't afford to do everything that everybody might want to. Then encourage them to think of fun activities everyone can do together. Maybe the kids can miss school one day and help bake cookies. Or make some hot chocolate and explore the neighborhood as a family to see how other homes are decorated. Your kids will have great ideas too, and it'll turn the entire season into a celebration.

So get creative. I can promise you a Christmas of family fun will be much more memorable than a pile of gifts everyone will soon forget.

Q: I'm looking for a simple, basic way to improve my relationship with my spouse. What would you suggest?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Let's be honest: Like anything else worthwhile in life, a good marriage takes work. If you really want to improve your relationship, "simple and basic" is a decent start -- but don't just settle for "easy."

In that context, the spoken word is incredibly powerful in marriage. Our words can either strip our relationship of its life and vitality or help it blossom and thrive for years to come.

Many couples fall into an unhealthy pattern of speaking harsh and insensitive words. We all tend to get pent up with all the little irritations that accumulate throughout the day. Then we get home, and those frustrations spill over onto the easiest target -- usually our spouse.

If that sounds like your marriage, the good news is it doesn't have to be that way. With a little forethought and effort, you can use your words for an entirely different purpose. You can learn the art of affirming your mate.

Now, don't misunderstand. By "affirmation," I don't mean sweet talk or manipulative flattery. I'm suggesting that you make a concerted effort to look for the good in your spouse and nurture your husband or wife with your words.

Ladies: Does your husband like to work on projects around the house? Take a moment to commend him on his craftsmanship and attention to detail. Guys: Does your wife have a unique way of surprising the kids with special outings and fun games? Why not praise her for it? There are a million different ways you can do it. But whatever you do, build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

For more help building a stronger marriage, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I have been through some very difficult experiences in life. For the most part, I've been able to set them aside and move on, but sometimes I still struggle with my emotions. Do you have any advice for getting past the hurt?

Jim: Life can be tough, and it inflicts wounds in us all. The question is: What do we do with the pain?

On a summer vacation several years ago, my wife, Jean, and I relaxed by the pool while our boys splashed around in the water. At one point, I watched my son Trent wrestle with a beach ball. Again and again, he'd muscle the ball under the water, then struggle to keep it there. Eventually, he'd exhaust his strength, and the ball would pop back up to the surface. As I sat there and watched, I realized that my son's game was a striking metaphor for life.

Throughout our lives, we can suffer any number of deep emotional wounds. In many cases, the only solution we know is to push the pain beneath the surface of our hearts and minds. We think that if we can just block out our negative memories, the bad feelings will go away. And they do -- temporarily. But eventually a crisis occurs, and the stress brings our pain right back up to the surface.

The truth is our wounds need to be healed, not ignored. Embracing our pain is an important first step. As we receive healing support from professionals and those who care about us, the air is slowly released from the beach ball. Over time, we no longer need to rely on willpower to keep bad thoughts pushed beneath the surface. They'll heal and sink from memory all on their own.

Focus on the Family's licensed counselors would be happy to help you get started on the path to healing. You can call 855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays, 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. (MT).

Q: How do we handle our kids' obsession with their phones? It seems like they're always on their devices, and it's hard to have a conversation with them.

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: Texting is the primary means of communication for today's preteens and teens. Many kids have multiple text conversations going on all day, impacting already scattered attention spans. There's a new term for the interference that technology can cause in family relationships -- "technoference."

One study found that tweens spent an average of more than four-and-a-half hours with screen media each day; for teens, the average was more than six-and-a-half hours a day. Unfortunately, parents sometimes spend more time with screens than their kids do.

To reduce technoference, we parents need to set boundaries and guidelines for technology use. That means investing time and energy into modeling, teaching and consistently guiding our kids with sensitivity and understanding -- not just controlling them. This requires candid conversations about your concerns and exploring the reasons why your kids are so enamored with their phones (escapism, social connection, etc.).

One great way to establish boundaries is to create a contract that spells out expectations for how technology will be used -- and what happens when it's mismanaged. Start that contract by establishing that technology is a privilege, not a right.

Of course, since we're models for our children, they need to see that we're willing to limit ourselves as well. Establish an example by consistently setting your own phone aside during dinner and family time.

A parent's main goal should be teaching children to manage life and make healthy decisions. When your kids make mistakes, help them work through the consequences. Then take time to celebrate as a family when you conquer technoference issues in your home.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.