Q: We recently learned that my elderly mother has only a few months to live. Our whole family is shaken, but I'm especially concerned about how to help my young children process that their beloved Grandma is dying. Do you have any advice?

Jim: It's tough on everybody when a loved one is suffering from a terminal illness. But the emotional needs of young children often get overlooked entirely. It's easy to think that they're not as impacted by sickness and death since they don't fully understand it. Yet even little ones can experience fear and confusion in these situations.

To support your children when someone they know and love is dying, keep a few things in mind:

First, get your kids ready for what's coming. You'll want to use age-appropriate language, of course. But introduce them to the concept of death before your loved one actually passes away (examples from nature will likely resonate with little ones). That'll give your children an opportunity to make sense of what's happening.

Second, keep it simple, but tell your children the truth about dying. Some parents try to soften the reality of death too much. They say, "Grandma went on vacation" or "Uncle Fred became an angel." In the long run, an overly soft approach doesn't help children grapple with the real pain of death. This is also a great time to highlight your faith and the spiritual aspects of these matters.

Finally, prepare your children for the emotions they're likely to see all around them. They may wonder why everyone is crying and upset. Help them understand that death makes people sad -- and it's OK if they feel sad, too. Encourage your children to ask questions and to talk about what they're feeling.

Focus on the Family's counselors would be happy to help your family walk this path; call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays.

Q: I meet with some other guys for breakfast every week. We've all gotten married in the last three years. Do you have a good suggestion to help us all strengthen our marriages?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Here's a visual for you. You know those grooves cut along the shoulder of the road that make a loud noise when you drive over them? Those are rumble strips; they're designed to warn you when you drift too far outside of your lane.

Rumble strips can save your life. They can save your marriage, too.

Good boundaries help you govern important areas of your relationship -- things like money, conflict and friendships with people of the opposite sex. With money, for example, sit down with your wife and discuss how well you communicate about things like budgets and credit cards. Put some rumble strips in place that safeguard how, where and when you both spend your money.

Good boundaries will also help you engage in healthy conflict. Fight fair. Don't call each other names or demean one another. Speak to each other with love and respect and listen carefully to what your spouse has to say.

It's also wise to have clear boundaries regarding the opposite sex. Put up safeguards that protect how you interact with relationships at work, church and community gatherings.

Don't forget other parts of your relationship that would benefit from good boundaries, like who you talk to on social media or the amount of quality time you spend together.

The first priority is always to protect your marriage. So, set up some rumble strips that will keep your marriage in its proper lane before it can drift too far.

And here's a bonus "pro tip": Involve those breakfast buddies in the process. Let them hold you accountable about your rumble strips.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: My son just got engaged to be married. As he and his fiancée prepare for life together, what advice would you give them for building a solid relationship?

Jim: There are all sorts of ways I could go with this, but I'd start by asking them this: How many times have you faced a problem and looked for the easiest way out? That's not an unusual response. But the easiest way isn't always the best one.

When we encounter trials, how we respond matters more than we think. Responding well not only makes it more likely that the problem itself will get resolved, it prepares us to better handle future crises as well. That's because a healthy response to a serious issue bolsters our character and further matures us as individuals -- and, in marriage, as a couple.

Take a marriage crisis, for example. Some couples don't handle conflict well. They insult each other, act petty or behave with a harsh, critical attitude that makes their problems worse. It's like cleaning up a spill with an oily rag. The whole mess gets worse, not better.

On the other hand, couples who treat each other with respect in the middle of conflict stand a much better chance of healing their marriage. They're more likely to resolve the issue they're facing today, and they put themselves in a better position to correct issues down the road.

So, I'd tell your son and his bride-to-be: When we face a serious life challenge (and we all do), the goal isn't simply to correct the problem by any means necessary. How we resolve it is just as important. We'll either act in a way that enhances our character or in a way that diminishes it.

Q: My preteen kids keep begging for smartphones. Most of their friends already have their own (expensive) phones, but I'm still reluctant. Do you have guidelines for when we should let our children have phones?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: It makes sense that your preteen is begging for a smartphone. If we're honest, we would have done the same thing at that age. But that doesn't make having a smartphone as a preteen a great idea.

Smartphones can be addictive distractions for any of us, but especially children. While these devices can be very practical and convenient, they also give kids wide-open access to the internet and the dangers that come with it (online bullies, pornography, child predators, etc.) -- even with incredibly sophisticated monitoring and filtering apps. And it doesn't take long for chores to get overlooked, physical activity to be tossed aside or schoolwork to fall by the wayside.

The average age a child gets their own smartphone is 10 years old and dropping. Even kids as young as six or seven often have one. However, elementary school kids are not ready developmentally for the onslaught on their attention and time, as well as the various temptations smartphones provide at their fingertips.

Generally speaking, the longer you wait to give your children a smartphone, the better. Most experts would agree that later is safer and smarter. Much depends on your child's personality and maturity level, but most researchers agree that 12 to 14 is about as young as parents should go for a full-capability smartphone. Even then, it's best for the phone to initially be for emergencies only to gauge how your child manages limits, trust and correction.

Parents don't have to be alarmists and oppose all technology. But we do need to be realistic and wise about the risks smartphones pose to (especially) young children.

For more resources and tips, see FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: Looking back on my own teen years, I had a pretty rough time emotionally. Now my daughter is 12 years old. As her mom, what can I do to help her through what I expect to be a challenging season in her life?

Jim: Of course I'm a dad who raised two boys, but I understand -- so I asked our staff counselors for input on this question. They emphasized that a mother's importance to a teenage daughter can't be overstated. Mom is a role model, and usually the parent a teen girl will feel most comfortable going to for advice. But probably the most important thing you can do for your daughter is to be a good listener.

One of the first steps is to be available to her as much as possible. We all know that a teenager's emotions can be unpredictable. Your daughter may not always want to talk when it's most convenient for you. She may open up in the morning or maybe later at night. It's best to take advantage of her willingness to talk while she's in the mood. Most of the time, moms can take a few minutes from whatever they're doing, make eye contact and listen to their daughter.

Equally as important is letting her say what's on her mind without interruption. She may want to talk about a bad day at school or trouble with friends. Whatever it is, don't finish her sentences or try to talk her out of what she's feeling, even if it doesn't make sense to you. That'll make her shut down emotionally, and she might not be so quick to open up the next time she needs to talk.

Naturally, you'll probably want to offer your daughter some advice at times. That's good. But be sure to listen to her first. In most cases, even more than advice, she needs to be heard.

Q: My spouse and I have a fair amount of debt. We both know we need to work out a budget and pay off what we owe. But let's just say that we aren't on the same page about the urgency and benefit of becoming debt-free. What can we do?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Money is generally one of the biggest stressors in marriage. So financial expert Dave Ramsey emphasizes it's crucial that couples work together on their finances.

You'll be much more likely to stick with your budget if you both have the same goals in mind. If your spouse isn't there yet, Ramsey suggests that honest communication is essential. Let your spouse know that you're excited about getting out of debt. Ask your spouse to read one or two short articles on the benefits of living on a budget. If they're still not on board after that, Dave recommends that you write down some of the points that concern you, and why. Sharing your thoughts and feelings on paper can be an effective way of getting your spouse's attention.

Often, women are the ones who are eager to get out of debt, while their husbands drag their feet. If you're in this situation, Dave Ramsey has one hard-and-fast rule: Don't nag. It rarely works, and it could end up driving a deeper wedge between you and your spouse. Husbands, if your wife has resorted to nagging, please step up before it's too late. Getting out of debt and living on a budget is in both of your best interests, and you need to do your part to make it happen.

Like most things in marriage, getting on sound financial footing is a team effort. For more information to help your relationship thrive, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.