Q: I've been battling severe depression and anxiety for some time. These feelings are bad enough, but I'm concerned that I'm making life difficult for my wife and kids. What should I do?

Jim: Your concern is actually a hopeful sign. Some who suffer from depression withdraw so deeply into themselves that they're incapable of thinking about others. I'm glad to hear of your care for your family and encourage you to follow that thought.

That said, it's worth noting that depression can distort your perceptions, including your sense of the impact on your family. Perhaps it's not as bad you fear. Talk with your wife and ask about her thoughts and feelings -- and listen carefully. She may be able to give you a more objective perspective. You must address your condition, but don't take on a needless load of worry or guilt.

Decisive action is vital in countering depression and anxiety. Are you talking with your family physician about this? Have you engaged the services of a licensed counselor? Do you keep appointments faithfully and follow doctor's orders? Have you started taking appropriate medication? If you've taken any of these steps, I applaud you. If not, I strongly recommend that you start now.

Once you're moving in the right direction, tell your spouse and children how you're combatting your depression -- and enlist their support. You'd be surprised what this kind of communication can mean. In talking openly about your struggles, you're giving your wife and kids a tremendous gift of encouragement and hope. In the end, you'll be stronger and closer as a family by facing the problem together as a team.

Our staff would love to help you on this journey. I invite you to call our counseling department for a free consultation: 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

Q: My boyfriend and I have been living together for the past couple of years, but I recently found out that he's been sexting a "friend" of mine. When I confronted him, he said it's my fault -- then left me and our baby. I feel so alone, hurt and betrayed. What should I do?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Your boyfriend's actions suggest he's ill-equipped and uninterested in being a husband or a dad. If that's his choice, you need to let him walk away. After all, he's responsible for his own behavior. Realistically, is the man you've described really the kind of person you want playing the role of father in your child's life?

This is the time to stand up for yourself and your baby. But note that ending the relationship with your boyfriend shouldn't release him from his financial obligations as a parent. You'd do well to legally secure that support.

Meanwhile, I strongly recommend that you start reaching out for help wherever you can find it, beginning with your own family if possible. Look into community resources, and seek out a good church.

Once you've addressed your physical needs and those of your baby, start working on the spiritual and psychological aspects of your situation. Honestly assess if there are negative personal issues in your past that may have led you to become involved with someone like your boyfriend in the first place. Deal with those issues now before initiating any new relationships with men. Our staff counselors can help (see phone number above).

One last thought: Even though living together before marriage might seem appealing for a number of reasons, research shows that couples who cohabitate are generally less satisfied in their relationship, are more likely to divorce if they do marry -- and frequently meet with experiences similar to your own. Going forward, we have extensive resources on building healthy relationships at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: As a single woman, how important is it that I have a will? Is this something I should be concerned about?

Jim: That all depends. Under most circumstances it's advisable for you to have a will, but the precise course of action you should follow will be determined by the specifics of your situation.

Obviously, if you're a divorced or widowed mother of dependent children, it's critical that you have a will. This determines not only how your children are provided for financially, but also who has responsibility for caring for them in your absence.

If you're single with no children, a will may still be important. For instance, if you own property of any kind, a will ensures that it will be distributed as you wish. The more assets you accumulate over the years, the greater the need for a testamentary document of some kind.

When you don't have a will prepared, you place the burden of distributing your property on someone else -- who may or may not understand your values and desires. That's why it's wise to make your plans now before it's too late. A single person without dependents can often make a significant impact through charitable giving with a wisely constructed estate plan ... but only if they have specified their wishes ahead of time.

Many people procrastinate when it comes to making provisions for the transfer of their wealth. We all gravitate toward easy and routine actions rather than the difficult and important ones. We're also intimidated by the emotions that might be brought to the surface by a frank and open discussion of a subject like death. Those emotions are understandable, but they don't change the fact that we're all responsible to steward the resources God has entrusted to our care in the wisest manner possible.

Q: How can I help my child have a more positive outlook?

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting & Youth: The most important factor is to model a positive outlook yourself. We've all seen cartoons where what's going on in a character's mind is portrayed in "thought bubbles." That's a great visual representation of what's happening inside each of our brains.

My own thought bubbles can get filled with negative stuff, especially when I'm worried or anxious. Negative thoughts are common because our brains are poor at making predictions. Instead of making accurate forecasts including good outcomes, we often project our worries onto the future. One of our goals as parents is to manage our own thoughts and be effective models for our kids.

Here are just three ways our thinking can mislead us, especially in times of stress, insecurity and fear:

1. Catastrophizing -- We can easily become convinced the worst is going to happen. Seek accurate perspectives and fix your thoughts on the present, not some vague, fearful future that likely won't happen.

2. Discounting the positive -- Sometimes our filters screen out positive input. If someone compliments you on being a great parent, it might be easy to say, "Well, you don't see me every day." Don't deflect affirmation! Accept the positive.

3. Personalizing -- You may assume circumstances are personal to you. For instance, when a friend fails to return a text, the immediate assumption might be discouraging. "Did I do something wrong?" We can train our brains to look at other possibilities: "My friends might be busy, or they might be spending time with their family right now." Don't assume everything is about you.

Thoughts are contagious. The better you become at corralling your own, the better you'll be able to model this for your children -- and you'll see the difference in their "thought bubbles."

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My husband battled several health problems the last two years. My entire identity became wrapped up in caring for him. Now that the struggle is over, I feel empty and lost as well as grieved. I honestly don't know where to turn or what to do next.

Jim: I'm sorry to hear of your loss. The death of any loved one is difficult, especially when the survivor has been the primary caregiver.

You can take a proactive approach to mourning -- but be gentle and patient with yourself and the process. While grief is never "fully done" there are some essential aspects of growing and becoming well again. Pace yourself and reach out for safe and helpful relationships. Caring people can help tremendously as you face the following four essentials in your journey:

Accept the reality of the loss. It's helpful to spend time with friends and loved ones openly talking about the deceased person or the circumstances surrounding the death.

Experience the pain of grief. The only way to overcome grief is to move with and through it daily as the feelings ebb and flow. Fully experiencing the pain -- most often through tears or some form of expression -- provides genuine relief.

Adjust to an environment in which your loved one is missing. Much of your routine needs to now be recalibrated. Consider getting a pet if you don't have one. Nature, music, worship and regularly scheduled calls to close friends can be practical helps.

Invest the emotional energy you have in healthy and life-giving relationships. The goal is not to forget your loved one; it's to reach the point where you can remember and honor without being halted in your own living.

Again, the important thing is to allow yourself time and space to grieve and grow. I wish you the best.

Q: I got married because I was in love with my (now) wife. I wasn't figuring on her parents and siblings becoming a major part of my life as well. What are my relational obligations to my in-laws?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Whatever the specifics of your situation, I think it's unfortunate that you feel this way. I know you are hurting. But I'm also aware that your experience is fairly common.

Like it or not, your wife's family is connected to her -- and now also you. When you married, you became part of another family with its own set of values and expectations. Loving your wife means respecting those expectations about time with her family -- within limits, of course. Expectations need to be discussed so that you can work together to discover solutions that you both feel good about.

The old saying "good fences make good neighbors" may apply. You and your wife need to agree upon and establish reasonable boundaries. Once those limits are communicated clearly, you must stand together in enforcing them.

Here are three things that "honoring" your in-laws does NOT mean:

It doesn't require that you ignore your own feelings, desires, preferences and needs in order to "do things their way."

It doesn't mean that you must permit them to disrespect, control or manipulate you for their own selfish ends.

It doesn't entail "obeying" all their "parental" requests or requirements -- which, in some instances and with some in-laws, may get pretty crazy.

Really, this isn't so much an in-law problem as a marital problem. Before the situation escalates any further, I encourage you and your wife to speak together with a qualified therapist. You can start by calling our counseling department for a free consultation at 1-855-771-HELP (4357). Bottom line: You both need to agree that your marriage is the priority -- and you are a team.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.