Q: As a 50-something single woman with no immediate family (I never married), the past few months of forced isolation have really ramped up my concern about how I'll cope as I age. I worry that no one will be there for me when I'm no longer able to do everything for myself. I don't want to grow bitter about my circumstances; how can I find peace?

Jim: This year has highlighted how our society is becoming increasingly atomized and isolated. And you're not alone; many unmarried adults are looking around and realizing that they're living in a very scary world, often without anyone to help or support them.

Thankfully, you can proactively improve your prospects and prepare for your future. Start looking now for people who can become the support group you will need in later years. Church is a great place to explore opportunities for relationships, but don't necessarily stop there. There are lots of special-interest clubs, service organizations and charitable societies that you may be able to join. Supportive friendships are cultivated over time through shared experiences.

What are your hobbies? Do you enjoy painting, quilting, reading, stamp-collecting or bird-watching? Are you interested in political activism or social relief? Could you benefit by enrolling in a nutrition-and-fitness class, a book club or a discussion group of some kind? The possibilities are almost endless. Any of these activities could become the basis for several deeply meaningful long-term friendships.

Here's a key thought to keep in mind: Don't limit yourself to your chronological peers. You're positioned now to encourage and help new friends who might be older than you are. And if you stretch your comfort zone to get to know younger people, those connections could prove to be especially important to you in years to come.

Q: Our strong-willed toddler has been attacking other people with his teeth with increasing frequency the past couple of months. How do we stop it?

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting & Youth: While I can't fully cover this topic in this short column, here are some quick thoughts.

With toddlers, one way to eliminate negative behavior (including biting) is with swift consequences followed by reinforced and repeated teaching. One effective tool with kids this age is "timeout from positive reinforcement." Remove your child from the situation he wants to be in and confine him to a very boring location for a short time period.

A portable playpen can be helpful. Put the playpen where your child is away from the action but you can still watch him. Then require him to stay there until he's calm enough for teaching time. A good rule of thumb is one minute of timeout for each year of a child's age; so, a 2-year-old would receive a two-minute timeout.

Don't give the child access to toys during this time, and don't interact with him at all (lecture, scold, etc.). Just ignore him. In a toddler's mind, even negative attention is better than no attention at all and gives him the illusion of control. He'll likely throw a tantrum in a desperate attempt to regain control, but don't give in to the temptation to engage.

Once he has calmed down, let him know he gets to try again by regaining your trust. If you're patient, consistent with your follow-through teaching and don't give in to whining, screaming or temper tantrums, you should find that the biting behavior decreases fairly rapidly. But if this doesn't happen, there's a remote possibility your child may have a more serious developmental problem, which would best be addressed with your pediatrician and/or child psychologist.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Like a lot of parents, I guess, the shutdown this year has really stretched my wife and me regarding how we each interact with our kids. She tends to emphasize the rules; I'm more easygoing. What's your preferred approach?

Jim: Many moms and dads can often be black and white in their parenting. Their approach is like a light switch -- all one way or all the other. What kids really need, though, is balance. So, instead, think of your parenting like a dimmer switch with a range of responses that meet your kids at the point of their need.

Take responsibility and affirmation, for example. Some parents flick their switch all the way to the side of teaching responsibility. Their entire focus is on things like being on time, making good grades or getting chores done. The parents' demands are high, but they don't balance it all out with good doses of affirmation. It's all about following the rules.

Some parents flick the switch the other way. They affirm their kids in everything they do, but don't require anything of them. Their sole purpose is to make their children happy -- all the time. The problem is that the child gets the idea that they can have and do anything they want... but never believes they should have to correct their own behavior.

Effective parenting isn't about black-and-white thinking. It's about balance. Without affirmation, kids will get discouraged. But they also need someone who will put their foot down and say, "This is right, and this is wrong." Kids need both, and they get it when Mom and Dad parent like a dimmer switch with a range of responses.

Q: Is it fair for me to feel hurt and upset when I see my husband turn and look at other women? He's always been faithful to me, and I trust him. But it bothers me when he acts this way.

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Don't dismiss your emotions. A good rule of thumb in marriage is that a problem for one spouse is a problem for both. So, you'll need to talk with your husband about his tendency to turn and look at other women. But first take time to think through a few basic questions to help you frame the way you share your concerns:

How long has this been going on?

If it's a new pattern, is there anything in your husband's life right now that might account for the sudden change?

Have you been having difficulties in other areas of your marriage?

Another important point is that men and women are wired differently. There's a difference between simply looking and looking with lust. Attraction is normal. When a good-looking female walks by and a guy notices, it's not necessarily the same thing as lusting after her. Lust involves a choice and an act of the will. It's a conscious decision to pursue a desirable object instead of simply allowing it to pass on by.

The issue is whether your husband's "turning and looking" is an intentional choice to pursue, or an unconscious knee-jerk reaction to a stimulus.

That's not to say that "turning and looking" can be dismissed. Any man who wants to honor his wife must learn to let sensory stimulation bounce off without taking root in his mind and heart. As the saying goes: You can't keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.

If you don't feel you can approach your husband about your concerns -- or he refuses to open up -- there might be deeper issues that should be addressed with professional counseling.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My spouse's substance abuse and drug addiction has had a devastating impact on our marriage and family. I feel as if I've just about reached the end of my rope. Help!

Jim: Perhaps it will encourage you to know that you're not alone. Drug abuse affects men and women from every age group, every socioeconomic class and all walks of life. In nearly every case it's rooted in the basic human craving for attachment and relationship. Addicts attempt to fill those gaps (real or perceived) and medicate the aching emptiness.

Because drugs and other addictive substances change the chemistry of the brain, addiction is something more than a vicious and self-perpetuating cycle. It's actually a physiologically based problem that can be extremely difficult to resolve. That's important to remember when seeking to help a loved one who has fallen prey to chemical dependency.

The good news is that effective help is available. I suggest that you and your spouse begin by seeking professional counseling -- and do this together. Generally speaking, weekly one-on-one counseling isn't sufficient to deal with an addiction of the intensity you've described. But a substance abuse counselor could be tremendously helpful in setting up an effective intervention and arranging a specific treatment option prior. The objective would be to persuade your spouse to agree to a program of in-patient treatment. Once this treatment is complete, the counselor could also participate in the follow-up plan.

For more specific guidance, I invite you to call our counseling department for a free consultation: 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

Also, you might consider contacting the Lighthouse Network (lighthousenetwork.org), a clearinghouse for substance abuse referrals. They can help you locate a facility in your area that will help your spouse take positive steps in the direction of recovery. They can also provide information about insurance companies who are prepared to work with these facilities.

Q: How do I tell my young children (ages eight, seven and four) that their grandparents -- my husband's mom and dad – are splitting up as a result of Grandpa's involvement with another woman? These grandparents live out of state, so we only see them every few months. How do we explain that Grandma and Grandpa won't be together anymore?

Danny Huerta, Executive Director, Parenting & Youth: Children at this age don't have the capacity to understand the complexities of sexual infidelities and marital affairs. So, it would be wise to avoid getting into details except on a need-to-know basis. Here are a few tips:

-- Keep your comments as calm, genuine and generic as possible. For example, "Grandpa made some poor decisions that are hurtful to Grandma's feelings and their marriage."

-- Be honest with your children about how you as adults feel about what has happened -- but avoid throwing grown-up feelings onto the kids. Don't make your problem into the child's problem. Instead, say something like: "I feel ____, and this is what I'm doing about it."

-- Talk about coping with change without necessarily liking it. Emphasize that while you can't control Grandpa or "fix" the problems his decision has caused for the family, you can still love him, keep up your relationship with both grandparents and adjust to new patterns of staying in touch.

-- Use this tough situation to discuss the ripple effect -- how the decisions we make in our lives often affect other people in ways we might not have imagined.

-- Finally, patiently let your children express their emotions and confusion. Younger kids especially want to know how this affects their own lives -- it's not selfish, just how the brain works developmentally at that age. Keep in mind that kids' feelings often reflect their parents' emotions but are expressed in the child's unique way behaviorally.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.