Q: How can I help my adolescent son settle on a vocation and make wise plans for the future? He seems to be thinking more seriously about career choices and wondering what to do with his life.

Jim: First, I'd suggest exposing him to as many different occupations as possible. Give him a taste of the wide variety of career choices available today. Help him discover his God-given talents, interests, abilities and strengths. If he's fascinated with medicine, set up a time for him to talk with your physician about the demands and rewards of this profession. If he's mechanically inclined, arrange to have him spend time hanging around the local garage. The same approach can be taken with almost any type of career your son might find attractive.

As you do this, make a conscious effort to avoid projecting your personal expectations on your child. If you're an accountant but your son has difficulty with math, don't push him into a career that would make him miserable. If you're an attorney, but he wants to be an artist, don't try to make him force his "square peg" temperament into the "round hole" of a legal career.

As your son starts to feel a clear sense of interest and direction, help him access the guidance and training he needs to pursue his career objective effectively. School guidance counselors should be able to offer insights. Career-testing services can help your son determine what job options best fit his personality, temperament and interests. Young people who are somewhat aimless may find these test results useful in identifying a goal. Others -- who are blessed with many different interests -- might benefit from tests that help them focus on their areas of greatest strength. This can spare them from changing majors multiple times during college, which can prove both expensive and time-consuming.

Q: My wife and I are usually pretty good at having constructive disagreements, but sometimes our arguments become overheated. What can we do to keep a lid on things?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: It's easy to lose control when emotions are running high. Any of us can become irrational if we feel overwhelmed, threatened, provoked, criticized or just misunderstood. These feelings may not be wrong in and of themselves, but they can be expressed in inappropriate ways.

Before getting involved in a confrontation with your spouse, examine yourself to make sure that your heart and intentions are in the right place. If either of you is afraid that the argument will spin out of control, or that issues from the past will be dredged up yet again, the openness and honesty required to make the discussion a success may be hopelessly squelched.

In most marriages, one spouse tends to be more of an aggressive pursuer in arguments while the other adopts a quieter, more passive method of nagging or blaming. Both approaches are destructive. Sober, straightforward honesty is the most effective policy.

Let me emphasize: Physical violence is NEVER OK. If you feel threatened, put distance between you and the person endangering you. Call the police if necessary. And remember, physical violence doesn't stop without intervention.

No matter how much you and your spouse love each other, no matter how understanding you try to be and no matter how strongly you want to avoid hurting each other, there will be times when arguments get heated. Whatever happens, make forgiveness your No. 1 priority. This doesn't mean that you'll necessarily agree. It certainly doesn't imply that abuse should be ignored or excused. It does mean giving up your determination to get revenge.

If you need help putting these concepts into practice, don't hesitate to call our counselors at 855-771-HELP (4357).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: This social distancing thing has dragged out SO long; just when we think we're easing back to a routine, something else sets us back. As a family, we've done all the virtual alternatives and time fillers until we're sick of it (and each other). Do you have any advice?

Jim: We're all hoping for a return to normal -- whatever "normal" will look like going forward. But I've got three simple ideas for you to consider doing now, and also moving forward.

First, eat together. For most of us, the usual tendency -- and especially in times like this -- is to eat in front of each other while watching television or using our phones. As often as you can, sit down and connect over a meal. Family dinners aren't about the food; they're about the connections that take place around the table. Don't feel pressured to fix a gourmet meal every night. The main thing is to look each other in the eyes and to connect.

The second idea is to look back and reminisce a little. Pull out the old photos and videos. Tell your kids stories about their childhoods and yours. Family history connects your children to something beyond themselves and deepens their bond with you.

Finally, look ahead. Crises have a way of resetting our priorities or giving us a new perspective on things. Is there something that you've wanted to do for years -- a big goal you've put off? Maybe now is the time to go for it. And if you're going right back to what you were doing before, it's healthy to look forward. Start planning now for everything you hope to do as life opens up again.

For more ideas to help your family thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: How can I help my children manage feelings of anxiety?

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Anxious feelings are something all kids must learn to navigate. To help them, you should know that:

Anxious feelings rely on how we interpret reality.

They occur automatically and often unexpectedly.

They can be created by experiences, biology, perceptions and overall personality.

As we mature and get older, the brain either adapts and learns to manage anxious feelings or becomes more and more controlled by them.

Feelings provide important input for thoughts and decisions, but usually don't deliver enough information to produce an appropriate response. You have to learn to interpret your experiences and thoughts properly.

For example, if a child is very anxious about being rejected, she is most likely expecting -- and is hypersensitive to -- signs of rejection. Her thoughts ("I'm not good enough") can produce anxious feelings when she's with others. That insecurity can be self-fulfilling -- until she learns that her value isn't dependent on other people's input, and she can confidently thrive in her unique giftings.

Thoughts and feelings dance together. Help your kids see the "thought themes" that anxious feelings can create, and what thoughts may be creating their anxious feelings. Help your child learn how to bring truth to their thoughts. For example, some kids are afraid of the dark, but darkness doesn't necessarily mean danger.

Teach your children how to know and communicate their limits. Kids shouldn't be forced to satisfy competing anxious feelings. For instance, some children may be afraid of heights, but may also be anxious about looking weak when their friends are climbing higher. Kids can learn to stretch their boundaries in healthy ways and develop limits that are based on freedom -- freedom from needing to impress or gain acceptance, as well as freedom from avoiding everything that sparks anxious feelings.

We have plenty of practical resources at FocusOnTheFamily.com/Parenting.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I had a lot of goals for this year. But ... well, 2020! I'm really discouraged. Where does a person find the strength to keep going?

Jim: Here's one of the secrets to success when life gets tough -- just get to the next tree.

There's a military training school in Vermont that puts soldiers through some of the most unbelievable physical and emotional tests you can imagine. The challenge that produces the highest dropout rate is a rigorous hike up a snow-packed mountain with heavy rucksacks on their backs. The troops aren't given any special equipment. Their only tool for success is determination.

The soldiers trudge up the hill through knee-deep snow, and within 100 yards, some of them find the struggle to be too much. That's when the instructor tells the troops, "If you want to fail, focus on the top of the mountain. If you want to succeed, just get to the next tree. Then the next one. Do that again and again until you reach the top of the mountain."

That's how you reach a big goal. You pursue one small goal at a time. You write a book one word at a time. You stay sober one day at a time. You restore your marriage one counseling session at a time. Some days "the next tree" may be getting through this day, this hour, even this prayer, with hope.

That's how it is when you're struggling. Things are so tough you feel like you're standing at the bottom of a mountain and staring at the very top. This year of all years, for so many of us, the climb might even seem impossible. But you can make it to the top. Just get to that next tree.

We have loads of tips and resources to help -- including trained professional counselors who can come alongside you if need be -- at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: Greg, I'm a simple guy. So, I need one simple idea that will help us build a great marriage. What do you say?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Well, there are several things I could suggest, like praying together. But I think I'll toss this one out: Laugh together.

Studies show that couples who laugh together are healthier, happier and more connected. Even little giggles between you and your spouse create relational bonds that draw you closer together. That's because laughter is a powerful connecter.

In fact, laughter is only partially about humor -- it's mostly about connection. Studies show that we laugh more when we're with someone than when we're alone.

My wife, Erin, and I have discovered that to be true. As anyone who knows us can attest, some of our greatest memories involve us laughing together. Occasionally -- OK, often -- it's been tough to stop. We've laughed so hard for so long that we started laughing at each other's laughing.

So, Simple Guy, there you go: Laugh. And the more the better. A friend of mine, author Ted Cunningham, encourages couples to strive for a laughter-to-conflict ratio of 100 to 1. That sounds like a lot -- and it is! -- but it's the heart behind the numbers that counts. The important thing is that you want your marriage to have as many points of connection as possible. And laughter is a great one.

By the way, if you're worried that you have to be a comedian to fill your marriage with laughter, don't sweat it. The point isn't about telling jokes to one another. It's about finding the humor in everyday life. It's about enjoying your life as much as possible -- together -- with smiles on your faces.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.