Q: As a dad, I definitely want to make my kids a priority. But I just don't have time! What can I do?

Jim: I get it: Life is busy, and it's challenging to balance work, home and our children's activities. But I think the opportunity to engage with our kids is often right in front of us if we'll just watch for it.

When my son, Troy, was in eighth grade, I served as an assistant coach for his football team. Every time we pulled into the park where practices for various sports were being held, there were always lots of kids and lots of vehicles. But I would notice car after car with a parent sitting inside. They were usually on their phone -- talking, looking at social media or playing a game to pass the time. Occasionally, I even saw a dad taking a nap. Few, if any, ever actually watched practice or even got out of the car.

I felt like those parents were missing a golden opportunity. They could have been cheering their children from the sidelines. So what if it's not an actual game? Even when the activity is something we might consider "insignificant," it's not insignificant to our kids. And most importantly, it's a chance to be engaged in their world.

Sports practice is just one of those areas, but there are many others. Spend 10 minutes reading to younger kids before bed. If they're older, take a few minutes at breakfast before you rush out the door. Bring a child along on that run to the store. The key is to look for small moments that might otherwise be wasted, and intentionally choose to spend time with your children.

For more ideas to help your family thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I'm looking forward to getting married soon. Friends have told my fiance and I to expect some "normal" disagreements. But we're worried we might fight about the wrong things. What topics are OK to argue about?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: Both of you see the world through different eyes, so it's inevitable that you'll disagree on some things: money, sex, in-laws, who should do the laundry, the list goes on and on. But you can actually "fight your way to a better marriage" -- in fact (semi-shameless plug), my wife and I literally wrote the book by that title.

The key here is that what you argue about is far less important than how you argue. Some couples approach fights with one goal in mind: winning at all costs. Rather than listening to one another or trying to understand each other's point of view, they go on the offensive to get their own way. That's when things can get ugly, with criticism and name calling -- or, heaven forbid, even verbal or physical threats. These destructive behaviors will scar your marriage long after your disagreement has been resolved or abandoned. You're attacking your spouse, not the problem.

It's far better to pursue a solution that works as equitably as possible for both of you. When your ultimate goal is the health and well-being of your relationship, you can work through almost anything. The more complicated the issue, the more important healthy choices become. You can be stubborn, or you can be understanding. You can be self-righteous, or you can be humble. You can be defensive, or you can be open to your spouse's feelings.

Winning an argument is a hollow "victory" if you're wrecking your marriage in the process. Attack the problem, not each other, and make a strong relationship your goal. We have resources to help (including counseling consultations and referrals) at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

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Q: My husband and I have been married for about two years. We're both already unhappy, and frankly we'd each have plenty of other options. What would you say to us before we split up?

Jim: First, the fact that you're even asking the question, rather than just divorcing, is a good sign. I'd suggest you consider this: Two-thirds of unhappy couples who stay together say their relationship is significantly better within five years. To achieve that, you and your spouse will need to make some strategic decisions.

Let me illustrate with a famous story from classic literature. In Homer's epic work, "Odyssey," Odysseus encountered the mysterious Island of the Sirens. These creatures' enchanting voices were so beautiful, they distracted sailors from their journey and imprisoned them forever. Knowing the dangers, Odysseus put wax in his crew's ears. He also ordered that he himself be tied securely to the ship's mast to prevent being lured away by the Sirens' seductive melody. Odysseus commanded his crew to remain true to their course no matter how bad their circumstances seemed.

Marriages in today's culture have become transient. Too often, we'll throw out relationships at the first sign of trouble. But marriage is a deeply binding commitment designed to help us weather our most difficult circumstances. It's a vow requiring us to "tie ourselves to the mast." You've got to dismiss the voices seeking to lure you away from your marriage or convince you that divorce is a quick fix for your troubles.

If your marriage is unhappy, it's not too late. Commit your relationship to a course of growth and healing. Sooner than you might think, you and your spouse can discover the relationship you've always dreamed of. We have plenty of resources available to help -- even if your marriage is foundering on the rocks -- at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I recently gave birth, which was an amazing experience. But in the weeks since, I've found myself struggling through a dark valley of emotional exhaustion and depression. Is this normal? What can I do?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Your experience is quite normal -- common, in fact. Between 50% and 80% of new moms experience a temporary emotional slump, commonly known as "baby blues." About 10% suffer from the more severe form, known as postpartum depression.

The "baby blues" usually develop during the first week after delivery. Symptoms can include irritability, anxiety, tearfulness, lack of energy, insomnia, loss of appetite and difficulty concentrating. This emotional and physical slump typically resolves within two weeks, but I would recommend not ignoring it. Emotional support and practical assistance from your husband, family and friends are extremely important to any woman suffering from the "baby blues."

Postpartum depression (PPD) is a more serious condition that can arise during the first six months after childbirth and may last for several months. A mother with PPD may be so intensely depressed that she has difficulty caring for her baby. She might develop extreme, unrealistic anxiety over the infant's health. While the problem can also resolve itself in time, further help is likely needed (as with any other major depression). Seek professional assistance if symptoms continue for more than two weeks.

If you feel you might be suffering from PPD, our staff counselors will be happy to discuss your situation with you over the phone; call 855-771-HELP (4357).

A much less common, but far more intensive, disturbance described as postpartum psychosis occurs after about one in 1,000 deliveries. This condition may include delusions and/or hallucinations, suicidal thoughts, and even violent behavior. This should be considered a medical emergency and MUST be evaluated immediately by a qualified psychiatrist. Thankfully, it can be effectively treated with appropriate medication.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

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Q: I have a co-worker who doesn't carry her share of the load. She's constantly on the phone, scrolling social media or talking with friends, and passing work off on other people. It's frustrating! But I'm afraid if I "tell on her" it would only make me look bad. What should I do?

Jim: I think most of us have experienced something like this at some point. Too many people try to avoid conflict. But ignoring the problem only leads to an explosion of emotions down the road. And even if you're justified, losing your temper is never in your best interest.

I'd suggest that you start by dealing with yourself and identifying your feelings. You may feel disrespected, powerless, or exploited -- and it's important to acknowledge this. Only then will you be ready to effectively address the problem.

Next, and as difficult as it might be, you need to go directly -- and privately -- to your co-worker, and share your concerns and observations. Don't do this in anger, but with a humble spirit and an empathetic heart that seeks to understand. You may possibly be surprised to discover some personal issues, such as a family crisis, that could partially account for some of the poor or distracted behaviors.

Best case, you'll receive a reasonable explanation and a commitment to change. But if you're confronted with defiance or indifference, you'll next want to involve your supervisor. Rather than go on your own, schedule a time with both your boss and the coworker. Don't look to accuse or assign blame. Your goal should be to objectively share your observations and ask for clarity on how the workload is supposed to be divvied up. This should put your coworker on notice that you're no longer willing to enable her problematic behavior.

Q: I recently heard someone reference "sadfishing." What is it, and what should I know as a parent?

Adam Holz, Director, Plugged In: Sadfishing might sound like a bad day on the lake. But it's actually a term that describes people oversharing emotional struggles online.

The term sadfishing dates back to 2019. Journalist Rebecca Reid coined it to describe someone who dramatically poured out her emotions to attract sympathy. In this case, it was Kendall Jenner complaining about her "debilitating struggle" with acne (which was ultimately revealed to be a manipulative marketing ploy for skin-care products).

Since then, sadfishing has taken on a broader meaning. As it applies to adolescents on social media, sadfishing encompasses a pattern of posting dramatic, emotional posts online for the sake of attention or validation. And the pattern part is important.

Many people share emotion-laden posts. Sadfishing is when such posts become habitual. Experts suggest that a pattern like this is both a cry for attention and a warning sign that a child doesn't have anyone to help them process their emotions.

In extreme cases, sadfishing may hint at a signal to self-harm. Phrases like "I'm at my breaking point," "No one ever really understands," "I just feel so alone" or "I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be around" can signal anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation.

If we notice our kids are regularly posting attention-seeking content, how should we respond? First, resist the urge to fix or to minimize. What they need instead is our presence. We might say: "It seems like you've been posting some hard stuff on your Instagram account lately -- do you want to talk about it?" They may decline an initial invitation. But telling them that the door is open for conversation can combat that sense of isolation that they feel.

Because what our kids are really fishing for is love. Acceptance. A listening ear. Us.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

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