DEAR DR. FOX: I just finished reading many accounts of people who have experienced contact from deceased pets.
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I must back up a bit to introduce Fiona, our labradoodle. My husband and I got her as a puppy and adored her. While she loved both of us, she really was closer to me since my husband traveled extensively throughout her life.
Last fall, just before she would have turned 13, we had to relieve her of her suffering from various ailments. After we lost her, I experienced many things that told me she was near: sounds, smells, drastic temperature changes, glimpsing her on our property, etc.
I was crushed to lose Fiona, and couldn’t see adopting another dog. Still, I found myself drawn to a 4-year-old standard poodle, Donner, at a local rescue. He joined our home in February and was just ecstatic to be with us.
Two weeks ago, I woke up early and Donner followed me downstairs, as usual. I put him out and fed him, then we both went back to sleep for another hour, with him on his bed beside mine. I was stunned to see upon awakening that he could barely move and did not want to come downstairs. I of course rushed him to the vet, who saw splenic nodules and evidence of bleeding into his abdomen.
We then rushed to the same specialty group that had cared for Fiona. On X-ray, a surgeon, a radiologist and an oncologist saw multiple lesions in his lungs and near his heart. His belly was getting distended and tender, and the surgeon refused to anesthetize him due to the state of his lungs.
I took Donner home, making an appointment for him to pass at home two days after that. The specialists had been very concerned that he would crash in an awful way before that, but he made it till then.
Unlike with Fiona, I have not "heard" from Donner yet, and I am bereft at thinking that he may not have formed enough of an attachment to us to visit as Fiona did. Because we only had him a few months, and because he was so young, I have become concerned that his soul is somehow “lost” from me, or that he wasn’t with us long enough to feel loved and at home. This breaks my heart.
I believe that he was a part of us from the time we brought him home. I loved him so much. It was like a lightning bolt, his being here -- so healing. Do you have any experience with people who have experienced a loss similar to ours? -- M.G., Larkspur, Colorado
DEAR M.G.: I can sympathize fully with your situation, and I send my condolences. Despite the many communications I have received over the years about deceased animals "returning" in various ways and at different times, it seems to be more of an exception than a regular phenomenon. In other words, most deceased companion animals rarely return, as is the case with your second dog.
The strength and duration of the human-animal bond during life, and the intensity of grief experienced when the animal dies, may all play some role in after-life manifestations. Once the grieving dissipates, the visitations often cease. This seems to indicate that some animals' spirits come back to provide comfort, which many people have told me they felt. This is all part of the great mystery.
I hope you find comfort in the fact that you provided love and security for a dog who was not long for this world; with cancer at such a young age, he otherwise probably would have suffered alone. He is now free from suffering, and if there is reincarnation, as some cultures and religious traditions believe, his soul will journey on, enriched by the time shared with you.
To learn more about reincarnation research and transmigration of the soul, see the book “Signs of Reincarnation: Exploring Beliefs, Cases and Theory” by James G. Matlock.
(Send all mail to animaldocfox@gmail.com or to Dr. Michael Fox in care of Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106. The volume of mail received prohibits personal replies, but questions and comments of general interest will be discussed in future columns.
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