DEAR ABBY: I'm a transgender male who has grown up in an area where many people discourage such things. They view what I am as a sin and me as a sinful, satanic child. My parents are against anything different, including the LGBT community.

I have already gone through top surgery, but they don't know about it. What they do know is that I am bisexual. How do I tell them that I am male? -- SINFUL CHILD

DEAR "SINFUL" CHILD: Why do you want to make an announcement? You know what will happen the minute you do. If you feel you must say something, say that you have discovered your true self, which is male, and that you are happier now than you have ever been.

After you do that you will be free. You can then start building a family comprised of people who are understanding and accepting, which will be healthier for you than the one you were born into.

DEAR ABBY: My mother and I have been estranged for many years for multiple reasons. She has bad-mouthed me in emails to other relatives and then denied having done it, invited my ex-husband to family birthday parties knowing I wouldn't show up if he was there, and gone months, sometimes years, without speaking to me over things she has perceived as slights.

I have tried many times to walk away and let the situation go, but I continue being urged by other family members to "be the bigger person," not give up and "just keep trying." I married recently and invited her to the wedding. She texted 48 hours beforehand to indicate she would not be there. I'm wondering, is it OK to stop trying now? I mean, how much of this should one person be forced to take? -- JUST ABOUT DONE TRYING

DEAR JUST ABOUT DONE: I see nothing to be gained by continuing to tolerate your mother's passive aggression. If you are asking for my permission to stop doing all the work in the relationship, I am pleased to give it to you now.

DEAR ABBY: I have socialized with a group of women for the past 20 years. Our connection has always been our children. Now the children are grown and gone, one woman in our group keeps trying to include spouses each time we get together.

My husband works long hours. He doesn't enjoy being with these men, and he doesn't want to go on these outings. I have sympathized with him because I don't like the changes either. I'd prefer these events stay girlfriends-only. I have gone solo a few times and stayed away a few times. But my friends are commenting now, and I feel stuck and uncomfortable. Do you have any suggestions? -- NO FAN IN MINNESOTA

DEAR NO FAN: Yes, be honest. Level with your women friends and say you prefer socializing with them without the husbands. You are entitled to your feelings, and you do not have to elaborate further.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 61-year-old widower. A year ago I faced a bleak future and expressed a desire to kill myself. My cousin in another state, whom I hadn't seen since childhood, invited me to move in with him and his mother -- my late mother's sister.

I now have plans for the future, which include returning to the state I left. The thing is, my cousin resolves disputes with his fists. I know that when I move, my aunt will want to come with me. My aunt is sweet, but she's not my intellectual equal.

Frankly, I prefer to be alone in my home when I move. I'll want cats; she's allergic. She smokes; I don't. The job I want will have me on the road for days at a time. While it would be nice to have someone in the house while I'm away, I'd rather have it be empty than have her there.

I'm sorry her only child is abusive, but am I really the solution? (Both mother and son are twice divorced. They have only each other.) Moving is about a year away, but this dilemma bothers me. I don't want to abandon her, but I don't want to be her savior, either. When it's time to relocate, what can I tell her? -- MULLING IT OVER IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR MULLING: Start talking privately with your aunt and impress upon her that no one -- including her son -- has the right to physically or emotionally abuse her. Encourage her to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (the toll-free number is 800-799-7233) and talk to someone there.

I'm sorry you didn't mention who is supporting whom, but she should not remain in a home where her safety may be threatened. And if her son raises a hand to her in your presence, you shouldn't hesitate to call 911. If he does it when you're not around, impress upon her that she must call.

DEAR ABBY: I recently received an email from my ex-husband, who lives in the same state as my daughter. (I am remarried.) In it he asked me to agree to a budget he has given my daughter for her upcoming wedding. There was no discussion with me regarding the amount.

Abby, he gave her a budget of $100,000 and expects me to pay half! When I emailed him back and asked how he arrived at such a crazy number, he responded that his brother had spent that amount on his two daughters. Wow!!!

I said absolutely not, the number was flat-out ridiculous, and he should never have promised that figure to begin with, let alone without consulting me. Your thoughts? -- NOW THE BAD ONE

DEAR "BAD ONE": I think the same way you do. He should never have promised any amount of money without first discussing it with you. I also think it is time to bring your daughter and her fiance into the conversation. Many modern couples split the cost of their wedding between themselves, so don't feel defensive when you do it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a close friend who is in her mid-30s. She's a wonderful, divorced, hardworking Christian mother of four who has finally ventured back to the dating scene. She's currently seeing a guy who in all respects is perfect for her, she says. Unfortunately, when it comes to romance, for some reason she can't seem to get aroused, and it's now at a point where she avoids his kiss if possible.

She really likes him and would love for this to work and feels conflicted because she doesn't know how to "light her fire" and find him intimately attractive. She's afraid she'll eventually push him away even though she wants the exact opposite. Any advice I can pass along? -- NEEDING A FRIEND IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR NEEDING: Your friend needs to understand why she's having a problem "getting her fire lit." Could it be related to her divorce? Her feelings about premarital intimacy? Has she seen her doctor to rule out a physical cause? Or could it be that although he looks good on paper, there's simply no chemistry?

Because intimacy is an important part of marriage, she needs to be honest with herself about why she's reacting the way she is. If this isn't the only man this has happened with, and she can't find the answers within herself, some sessions with a licensed mental health professional may be in order.

DEAR ABBY: My husband invited his good friend (an artist) to stay with us for two nights because he is coming to our city to give a speech. He accepted.

We tried to contact him two weeks ago, one week ago, three days ago, yesterday and this morning to find out what time he'll arrive so we can plan our schedule and prepare the food. He still hasn't gotten back to us. I had planned to go to church and a concert afterward. My husband doesn't want me to leave.

I am very frustrated about the man's lack of consideration. My husband considers him a good friend, but after the way we are being treated, I'm not convinced. -- STILL WAITING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STILL WAITING: I don't blame you for being miffed. Good friends don't treat each other so rudely. They answer their messages and show up when they're expected. Unless the man was in the hospital, solitary confinement or dead, there's no excuse for his poor manners. Because your husband considers him a good friend, he should have stayed home to welcome "the artist" and let you off the hook.

DEAR ABBY: My son and daughter-in-law are "horrified" that we refer to our 3-year-old grandson's penis using the correct terminology. Should we relent and refer to that part of his body as something else? -- UNSURE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR UNSURE: Not in my opinion. Children should be taught the correct terms for their body parts as soon as they are aware enough to identify -- and pronounce -- them. To do this will prevent confusion and possibly embarrassment later.