DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife and I were together for five years (married for two). While she was with me I supported her financially and put her through college. She left me a year ago. I was the one who filed for divorce.

After she left, I gave her half the money in my savings account to help her while she was trying to land on her feet. She has found a job now, but struggles to pay bills.

Recently, she called and asked me to "lend" her money to help with her power bill. I refused. While I understand that she's no longer my financial responsibility, I still feel compelled to help her. What can I do to prevent her from putting me in an awkward situation (I have since moved on to a new relationship) without having to be a complete jerk? -- NICE GUY IN TEXAS

DEAR NICE GUY: As you accurately put it, your ex-wife is no longer your responsibility. After she walked out on you, you did the right thing in filing for divorce. You are acting like you feel guilty for doing so. By paying for her education and enabling her to support herself, you were more than generous. The surest way to prevent yourself from being hit on for money would be to respond with a firm and final NO.

DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old daughter caught her father, my husband, emailing and texting other women. He has been doing it for months.

He says he went on dating sites because he was unhappy in our marriage and needed attention and to feel desirable. He claims he only emailed and texted these women discussing relationship troubles, no sex talk.

I'm furious he was so careless that our daughter found the emails (in one he stated his sex drive was very high and asked how her sex drive was). I am devastated that he would do this to our family. He says he didn't think it was cheating because it was only online and sex wasn't discussed. Please advise. -- FURIOUS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FURIOUS: Your husband isn't being honest. At the very least there was "sex talk" as soon as he used that three-letter word in his emails/texts to the women on the dating sites. You two are overdue for a visit to a marriage and family therapist to determine if the damage your husband has done to his relationship with you and his daughter can be repaired. Please do not wait to schedule an appointment.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 9-year-old girl and my mom doesn't spend a lot of quality time with me. What should I tell her to get her to spend time with me? -- NEEDS TIME IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEEDS TIME: What a sad letter. Not knowing why your mother isn't giving you enough quality time, I can only suggest that you tell her you need more of her and hope she hears how important your message is.

DEAR READERS: Once again, this is my annual reminder to those of you who live where daylight saving time is observed: Don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour tonight at bedtime. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow. It's a ritual I love because it signals the coming of spring, with longer, brighter days and warmer weather.

DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter is getting married in seven months and I'm worried for her. I see many red flags she's ignoring. Because I'm old, I don't think she will believe me.

You have printed a list of warning signs of an abusive mate. Can you print it again so I can give it to her? -- PERCEPTIVE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PERCEPTIVE: Gladly, because it could be a lifesaver.

(1) PUSHES FOR QUICK INVOLVEMENT: Comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser pressures the new partner for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

(2) JEALOUS: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.

(3) CONTROLLING: If you are late, interrogates you intensively about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

(4) UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.

(5) ISOLATION: Tries to isolate you from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job.

(6) BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS OR MISTAKES: It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.

(7) MAKES OTHERS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OR HER FEELINGS: The abuser says, "You make me angry" instead of "I am angry," or says, "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you."

(8) HYPERSENSITIVITY: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad. Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.

(9) CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partners will also abuse children.

(10) "PLAYFUL" USE OF FORCE DURING SEX: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; finds the idea of rape exciting.

(11) VERBAL ABUSE: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you with relentless verbal abuse.

(12) RIGID GENDER ROLES: Expects you to serve, obey, remain at home.

(13) SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.

(14) PAST BATTERING: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person "made" him or her do it.

(15) THREATS OF VIOLENCE: Says things like, "I'll break your neck" or "I'll kill you," and then dismisses them with, "Everybody talks that way," or "I didn't really mean it."

Anyone at risk should contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 or thehotline.org.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for seven months, and my husband wants a second wife, something I do not agree with. He says he likes helping people and has decided he wants a former lover to be a part of our marriage. Unfortunately, she is more than willing to sleep with him.

Now he's talking about helping her move even though he knows I'm against him having anything to do with her. She says she's going to tell her daughter he is her boyfriend and not let her know he is married. She wants to be my friend, but I want nothing to do with her.

I sold my house, so I have nowhere to go. He refuses to go to marriage counseling because he says I am the problem. I am just about ready to cut my losses and move on. What do you think? -- READY TO MOVE ON

DEAR READY: You and your husband are already living on separate planets as far as your values are concerned. Unless you are willing to have an open marriage and another woman sharing your husband, I "think" it's time to talk to a lawyer!

DEAR ABBY: While flying across country with my toddler son, he started screaming hysterically as the plane began its descent. Nothing I could do would calm him. I tried giving him a bottle, a knuckle, a pacifier, even the corner of my shirt, but he continued to howl.

All of a sudden, a hand holding a lollipop appeared in the space between our seats and with it came a soft voice that said, "It's the change in air pressure. Try this." I took what turned out to be a sugar-free lollipop, and sure enough, the moment I unwrapped the generally frowned-upon treat, my son began sucking enthusiastically, calmed down and sat quietly until the plane came to a stop.

Ever since then I travel with sugar-free lollipops in my purse in the event a child near me is undone by the change in cabin pressure during landing. Some parents are skeptical at first, but when I use the tone and the words once spoken to me, they usually accept the treat, calm their child and sigh in relief. I encourage parents of children old enough to handle a lollipop to do the same just in case there is no lollipop angel on their flight. -- TIP FROM UP HIGH

DEAR TIP: Hmmm. Perhaps airlines should stock an emergency supply of lollipops on their planes for parents in that situation. It would be easier than handing out earplugs and tranquilizers to all the other passengers on the flight.

DEAR ABBY: My niece died last week from a fentanyl overdose. She was 43. My brother lives out of town, so I offered to retrieve my niece's belongings. While going through them, I found a crack pipe and syringes. Should I tell my brother or keep it to myself? -- KEEP IT TO MYSELF

DEAR KEEP IT: Please accept my sympathy for the loss your family has suffered. I think you should tell your brother. He is already aware that his daughter had a serious drug problem. If you're afraid the news will add to his pain, don't be. Disclosing it could help him realize the scope of her addiction.