DEAR ABBY: Because I was sexually abused as a child, I have difficulty trusting men. My oldest sons have different fathers. While they were toddlers, I met the father of my youngest two sons. In the beginning, I wasn't in love with him, although over the years, I have grown to love him.

While I am now in love with him, because of the emotional, mental and physical abuse I put him through, he doesn't feel the same. He's a great father to all of my boys. My question is, how can I express that I'm in love with him and want a relationship with him now? -- A SECOND CHANCE

DEAR SECOND CHANCE: If you haven't already, offer the poor man a sincere apology for the way you have treated him. Then, if he is unaware of it, explain your history and offer to get counseling if he will give you the second chance you are asking for. It's worth a try. That he would continue to be a "great father" to all of your sons tells me what a prize you may have lost.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is 17. When she was 1, she had leukemia. The treatments have left her with chronic pain as well as some disabilities that she deals with.

She's now a senior in high school, but looks like she's 7 or 8. She yearns for what every teen girl wants -- a boyfriend. The problem is, no one wants to date her. It's not because of her personality but because of her size and her young looks.

My heart breaks seeing how depressed she is. I have told her she will meet that special person when she is supposed to, and she used to think that as well, but she doesn't anymore. What can I do to help my daughter through this? -- HEARTBROKEN

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Patience and the passage of time may bring a solution to the problem. In the meantime, if there is a name for her condition, go online and do some research to find out if there is a support group for survivors who also have it. If there is, your daughter may find what she needs there. Surely, others have had her experience, and perhaps they can help. One thing I know for sure -- you can't find a date until you find a friend.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 41 years. We live outside of Chicago, where the winters can be bad. My son and his family moved to Florida to get away from the weather here. Now my wife wants to move there, too. I have medical issues and don't like hot, humid weather. She says she's going, and I told her I'm staying here. Should I go with her or should she stay here with me? -- "WEATHER" TO OR NOT

DEAR "WEATHER": This should not be a question of either/or. Surely there is room for compromise. If your medical condition is such that you cannot tolerate the Florida climate, then you must stay where you are. If your wife's reason for wanting to move south is to be closer to the grandchildren, perhaps she could arrange to visit them for three or four weeks at a time throughout the year.

READER ALERT! If you know a student who would like to enter the $5,000 Dear Abby College Columnist Scholarship contest, see the information on DearAbby.com/scholarship and learn more. The deadline is fast approaching.

DEAR ABBY: I read your letters every chance I get. They remind me that I'm not the only one with problems, but sometimes I just feel so empty.

I have random bouts where anything can send me into a crying jag and all I want to do is hide and go to sleep. I can be watching a funny TV show and out of nowhere feel like I need to run away and cry. It scares me that my moods can swing so drastically. I can also become angry every now and then when it's unprovoked.

I don't know what to do. My boyfriend tries to help, but he's at a loss as well. My medical insurance doesn't cover psychological help. Can you give me any advice? -- CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP

DEAR CRYING: Check again with your insurance carrier, because your primary care provider may be able to order psychological services for you. If, however, that's not possible, your county department of mental health may be able to help you find counseling on a sliding financial scale. Or, contact a university with a medical school, if one is close by. Ask to speak to the Department of Psychiatry and inquire if someone on the staff deals with the problems you're experiencing.

If you live in a town with a college, find out if it has a psychology department and a graduate school. If so, does that graduate school have a psychology program and clinic that charges on a sliding scale and is the clinic staffed with graduate students? If not, inquire if someone on the staff of the department sees people privately and get the phone number.

Individuals can also get referrals from mental health organizations. The largest credentialed ones are the American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and the National Association of Social Workers. All of these organizations have professional standards and are legitimate resources.

I know this is a longer response than you may have expected, but I hope it helps you find what you need because it's time to enlist professional help in understanding your mood swings.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had a disagreement about a recent birthday party we gave for our daughter. I was making party favors and putting the date of the party on them instead of our daughter's birthday on them. He said it should be the date of her birthday instead of the date of the party. What is the correct way it should be done -- put the date of the party, which is on a different date than her birthday, or put her birthdate on them? -- BELINDA IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR BELINDA: The date of the party should go on the invitations. The age the child has attained should go on the party favors, table decorations and, of course, the birthday cake.

DEAR ABBY: My son "Jeff" is wealthy and lives in another state with his wife and family. His wife has now moved her mother to where they live and she works for my son. Jeff and his family take vacations several times a year in the U.S. and out of it, and always include her mother or her father and his wife.

Two months ago, he invited his sister and niece to go with them. They were very excited, but a few days later he called them and said his wife wanted her mother to go, so the invitation was withdrawn.

My son and his wife don't think they did anything wrong, but there have been bad feelings ever since, and they continue to take her family everywhere. How would you handle this? Would you keep silent or speak to them? -- NOT INVITED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR NOT INVITED: It appears your son's wife rules the roost. I don't blame your daughter for feeling hurt, because what your son did was insensitive and rude.

The problem with keeping silent is that hurt feelings fester and grow. If it were I, I wouldn't fume in silence. Your daughter should talk to her brother about what happened, and point out how hurtful rescinding the invitation was to her and her daughter. Getting it off her chest may make her feel better.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 69-year-old woman. I look my age because, unlike most of my friends, I don't color my hair. Sometimes when I'm shopping -- such as in a grocery store -- employees call me "young lady," as in "How are you today, young lady?" I find it condescending. Why is it necessary to make reference to my age? Obviously, they don't think I'm young at all. What would you say in these situations? -- IRRITATED IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR IRRITATED: You are asking a question I receive often. Older women not only resent being called "young lady," they also dislike being called "honey" and "sweetie" by someone who doesn't know them well. Because it bothers you, tell the person, "I know you're trying to be nice, but in the future, please use my name or call me 'ma'am.'" This is something you might also mention to the store manager, so he or she can remind the staff that not everyone appreciates the over-familiarity.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, on an airline flight, the passenger next to me put her feet (with shoes on) onto the headrest in front of her. No one was in the seat. Since she had her headphones on, I tapped her on the shoulder and indicated that it was unsanitary to put one's feet where normally a passenger's head should be. I got a dirty look for my efforts, and the young woman made quite a scene.

Should I have ignored the situation, or said something to the flight attendants? What do you recommend? -- UNSANITARY IN THE EAST

DEAR UNSANITARY: If you had quietly alerted the flight attendants and let them handle it, you would have spared yourself the unpleasantness you experienced. That's what I would recommend.