For more than 20 years, a federal government manager and his wife lived happily in a sprawling lakeside house in an upscale suburban community. There they raised six kids through their college years. But one summer day, tragedy struck when one of their daughters drowned while boating on the lake.

Devastated, the couple in this true story felt an urge to sell their house and move immediately. But after contacting their real estate agent, they were persuaded to delay until they could get beyond the worst of their upheaval and prep their property for an orderly transition.

"People navigating through a personal crisis are in a difficult position to sell. One problem is that buyers can sense their urgency, which makes them potentially vulnerable to unfair lowball offers," says Tom Early, a longtime real estate broker who heads an independent firm.

As it worked out, the couple waited for two years before selling their property. That gave them time to sort through their plans. Ultimately, they purchased an elegant contemporary house in a resort area where the entire family could gather often and continue their healing process.

Unfortunately, not everyone going through a major transition can postpone the sale of a house, says Early, a former president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents (www.naeba.org).

"But just because you must sell quickly doesn't mean you have to let your property go under desperation terms," says Robert Irwin, author of "Tips and Traps When Selling a Home," and a number of other real estate books.

Here are a few pointers for those who must sell under less-than-ideal conditions:

-- Find an experienced listing agent to represent you.

"When you feel like your life is out of control, an organized, 'take charge' real estate agent may be just what you need to help make the most of your home sale," Irwin says.

He recommends you find someone with considerable experience selling properties in the same community where you live.

"This isn't just an agent who happens to list a lot of homes in your area. They should also have a track record for pricing neighborhood properties accurately from the get-go," Irwin says.

Contacting the managing broker of a local real estate office is one way to identify a skillful agent. Make it very clear that you're looking for one with an impressive track record selling your type of property in your price range.

"A broker's referral can be a good starting point. But even if you're time-pinched, you'll want to call references," Irwin says.

-- Investigate recent sales in your area prior to setting your price.

Even before your home is listed and open for showings, your agent will likely recommend an asking price. But before accepting any pricing recommendation, all sellers, no matter how hurried, should do at least a nominal amount of research.

"Tell your agent to give you a list of nearby properties that have sold recently, along with the final sum they yielded at closing. Then take that list, get in your car and drive by these homes, noting how they compare with your own," Irwin says.

What if your drive-by tour raises questions in your mind about whether your agent is suggesting too high or low an asking price? If so, request additional data in support of the recommended price. Then reach your own conclusion.

-- Consider a price just one notch below prevailing market values.

Surprisingly, sellers on a tight deadline can often receive more for their property if they price it just 2 percent or so below its apparent market value.

"Pricing a tad low generates excitement from buyers. More people are likely to bid if they perceive the property to be good value. And competition can push up your final proceeds," he says.

-- Use the power of delegation to ready your home for market.

If you're selling quickly and in the midst of a personal crisis, the odds are you'll have no more than a few weeks to get the home ready for show time.

"You need a selling plan that's abbreviated but still covers all the bases," Irwin says.

One obvious way to reduce your prep time is to hire contractors for work you might normally do yourself.

"Some people hate paying others to do work they know how to do -- like painting or carpet cleaning. But if time is short and contractors are available in your area, chances are the work will go much faster if contractors step in," Irwin says.

What's more, as he notes, sellers with properties that are sparkling clean and freshly painted generally recoup more at closing than they spend to hire contractors.

-- Arrange a backup plan for your property's sale.

Sometimes even a home that's well located and accurately priced will fail to sell quickly for reasons hard to determine.

To avoid panic in this situation, Irwin recommends that people selling in the midst of a life-changing situation develop a "Plan B" for coping should the process take longer than expected.

Maybe you'll arrange for a trusted relative to take over responsibility for your home sale. Or perhaps you'll want to "buy time" by putting your property up for rent for a few months.

Arranging for a contingency plan helps you avert thoughts of worst-case scenarios, Early says.

"That way, you'll have the peace of mind of knowing that your plans still go forward even if you experience unwelcome delays in the selling process," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

One day, a couple walked resolutely into their real estate broker’s office, declaring they knew exactly what they wanted in a home. The semi-retired pair described their dream house in detail.

But two years later, after on-and-off property tours with Ashley Richardson, their real estate agent, the couple picked a totally different place to what they'd claimed to want.

"I have no idea why this couple went through a mind-boggling change of heart," Richardson says.

Situations like this true story prompt some in the real estate field to invoke the old saw that "buyers are liars." But Richardson insists few buyers deliberately mislead their agents about what they want in a house or can afford to pay.

"People always buy on emotion. When they see a house that gives them a good feeling or reminds them of a happy childhood place, they often respond in surprising ways," says Richardson, who's affiliated with the Council of Residential Specialists (crs.com).

Richard Courtney -- a seasoned real estate broker for an independent firm and author of the humorous book "Buyers Are Liars And Sellers Are Too!" -- says a housing search is a learning process, especially for first-time buyers who haven't given a lot of thought to their ideal lifestyle.

"The main thing is to keep giving your agent accurate feedback about the homes you're seeing," Courtney says.

Here are a few pointers for buyers:

-- Start with a "reality check" involving a solid mortgage lender.

Courtney works in the Nashville area, a music industry mecca. Through the years, he's occasionally encountered want-to-be buyers who are "delusional."

"They come to town boasting about a $1 million recording or music publishing contract. Part of living out their fantasy is to look at some very expensive houses," he says.

Though very few wannabe homebuyers are this far gone, Courtney says most need to see a mortgage lender to set a ceiling on what they can afford. That way they won't waste time looking at properties above their reach.

-- Carefully consider your priorities before you shop for a home.

Once you know how much you can afford, it's time to reflect on your true wants and needs for housing.

Early suggests you retreat to a quiet place, shut off your phone and itemize your priorities (ideally in writing) in a focused way.

"Except for the uber-rich, nearly everyone faces painful trade-offs in terms of affordability. That's because home-price inflation is outstripping incomes," he says.

Would you rather have a three-car garage or a fourth bedroom? Would you opt for a smaller house on a bigger lot or vice versa? These are questions no agent can answer for you.

-- Convey your candid reactions to a trusted agent.

"In rare cases, some buyers are so fearful of hurting their agent's feelings that they tell them what they think the agent wants to hear, not what they really believe," says Tom Early, a real estate broker and past president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents (naeba.org).

But to avoid swerving off track in the home selection process, your agent needs to hear your negative reactions to properties you don't like.

"Experienced real estate pros can pick up signals about their clients' reactions through their body language. But remember that no one -- not even the best agent -- is a mind reader," Early says.

-- Grant your agent some latitude to pre-select homes to show you.

While you want the agent coordinating your home tour to be guided by your stated preferences, it's also wise to allow the agent some leeway to occasionally include a "wild card." This is a home your agent thinks you might like, even though it doesn't meet all your search criteria.

Agents who are in sync with their clients' reactions can sometimes guess when they'll react favorably to a particular property -- even one that doesn't sound right on paper.

"I'm not surprised anymore when people buy a place that bears little resemblance to what they first said they wanted. They didn't lie. They just changed their minds," Courtney says.

-- Drop an agent who doesn't listen to your wants and needs.

Realtors generally pick up quickly on "buying signals," signs that prospects are seriously interested in a property they're shown. Beyond facial expressions and other body language, couples who like a home soon start discussing furniture placement and how they'd use particular rooms.

But in rare instances, real estate agents fail to pick up on either the implicit or explicit messages conveyed by their clients. Still, Dawn Rae, a real estate broker who works solely with buyers, says an agent who fails to listen to clients should be replaced with an empathic one.

"When an agent keeps showing you the wrong kinds of property over and over, it's absolutely time to find someone new," Rae says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

In nearly every metro area, home prices are continuing to rise -- a cause for cheer among would-be sellers, but distress among potential buyers.

"Affordability remains a hurdle for renters considering homeownership, especially in higher-priced markets," says Lawrence Yun, chief economist for the National Association of Realtors (www.realtor.org).

Based on the latest available data, the association reported that median home prices increased in 93 percent of all metro areas.

Tom Early, a longtime real estate broker, says that in competitive markets, where multiple bidding is still a factor, first-time buyers are sometimes at risk of overpaying, a mistake in his eyes.

"It's folly to overpay, and you'll be sorry later if you do," he says.

He says it's critically important that buyers inform themselves about local property values before they shape an offer.

"To track values correctly," Early says, "you need to go neighborhood by neighborhood and look at closing prices in the precise area where you're planning to buy."

Sid Davis, author of "A Survival Guide for Buying a Home," says a working knowledge of property values in their target market allows buyers to better craft an offer pegged to the right price point.

"The best thing to do is ask your agent to check on closing prices for comparable homes, ideally for deals done in the immediate vicinity during the last 90 days," Davis says.

Here are a few other pointers for buyers:

-- Go online for guidance, but only as a starting point.

Several websites now provide free information on property values and can prove a valuable resource, Early says. One example he cites is zillow.com, which allows you to search data at either the property or neighborhood level.

"At the minimum, such websites get you into the right ballpark. But don't rely on them totally, because they only give you a general idea of values and nothing more," says Early, who's worked in the real estate field since 1984.

-- Seek out a seasoned real estate pro who knows the turf.

The classic method used by real estate professionals to reach an estimation of value for a property is known as a "Comparative Market Analysis." This technique is grounded in data on recent sales of homes similar to the one being judged.

Your real estate agent should find at least three transactions that are roughly comparable. Then the agent should add and subtract value based on differences between the home you like and the others.

Real estate agents are the first to concede that their judgments on the value of any given property are based on more than data.

"There's a lot of gut feeling to pricing. It's never a perfect science," Early says.

-- Factor in local economic trends.

Property values are always subject to change. That's why Davis says you need to look beyond closed deals to see where values are heading.

"Unlike stocks on Wall Street, it's rare for home values to rise or fall sharply in a few days or weeks. But local economic factors can have a big impact over time," he says.

In a town that's heavily reliant on a single employer -- such as an auto parts plant -- a wave of layoffs could seriously hinder values in the surrounding area. On the other hand, values could be on the upswing in a neighborhood that's expected to benefit from a school boundary change.

-- Seek concessions if you're in a strong bargaining position.

Though a shortage of available homes in many popular neighborhoods is pushing up home prices, there are always exceptions to the rule. For example, a plethora of properties might be available in an area with an above-average level of new home construction.

"In a place where many brand-new properties are coming on the market, you might do well when bargaining on the purchase of a resale home," Davis says.

He tells the true story of how he helped one client -- a graphic artist in her 30s -- to get a good deal on her first home. She'd become enamored of a well-kept condo in a popular community with a low rate of crime.

The data Davis gathered for this client showed that the two-bedroom condo was fairly priced. But his search also indicated a high level of new condo inventory coming onto the local market, demonstrating the woman's strong bargaining position.

Davis ultimately advised the graphic artist to offer full list price for the place. But at the same time, he suggested she seek substantial seller assistance with her closing costs. The sellers readily accepted her request for more than $3,000 in help.

Often, sellers are much more willing to yield on valuable concessions than to give way on price. This helps protect their pride.

"Sellers love to brag to neighbors about how much they 'got' for their house. But when they brag, they rarely admit to the concessions they had to accept to get their place sold," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)