It's not unusual for parents to help their adult children, even if it means making a financial sacrifice. A 2024 Financial Independence Survey by Bankrate, a consumer financial services company, reported that 61% of parents or guardians "are currently sacrificing, or have sacrificed, financially to provide assistance to their adult children" (tinyurl.com/56rrubkk).

What if one child needs more help than another?

That's the question a reader asked via email recently: "I'm hoping you have some advice for seniors with assets on how to navigate sharing with and leaving those assets to two children with vastly different needs." The reader said that one child is self-sufficient, while the other works at a low-paying job and cannot afford to rent a place.

"How do we best use our resources ... to help the child who needs help without alienating the other one?" the reader wrote.

This challenge doesn't have a simple solution. There are a number of factors to consider.

Some advisers feel that unequal treatment can be a necessity but caution about creating dependency.

"For parents of adult children, it's ... OK to consider uneven spending when a child faces hard times," said Chris Warren in the Synchrony article "When Uneven Spending on Your Kids Is Right" (tinyurl.com/4djv53de). "But all financial professionals caution against allowing an adult child's short-term financial need to become long-term financial dependency."

Will other siblings suffer? Psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., an author of seven books, wrote on the Psychology Today website: "Parents naturally want to help their struggling child, but this can create an imbalance where the needs of other siblings are overlooked" (tinyurl.com/ycykey72).

Should parents worry about imbalance or negative emotions?

"The impact on siblings of struggling adult children may be hidden or palpable," explained Bernstein. "Yet I repeatedly see these siblings struggle with resentment, jealousy, and stress."

In my personal experience working with high-net-worth families over three decades, I can tell you there is no simple answer about how to handle this situation, for good reason: Each family has its own "culture." Some are open about finances; some are not. Some teach their children that they are all equal in the eyes of the parents. Some encourage independence, while others encourage the opposite. Some teach that life is full of challenges that need to be overcome; others see challenges as unfair barriers to happiness.

Family dynamics will dictate interactions and outcomes.

Given that perspective, the real answer to the reader's question is to start with a self-assessment. Explore your own family culture. What are the standards you live by?

Consider this: If you were in the position of the child who couldn't pay his rent, how would you handle that? If you would seek help from your parents for yourself and expect equal financial support for your sibling, there is your answer. That puts your family culture in perspective.

Further, if you thought your sibling would feel an unequal arrangement would be unfair, how would you handle that?

At what point would you consider your parents' finances, specifically the financial sacrifices they make for their children? Would you feel their sacrifices are unfair to them?

My own view is that a retired couple can compromise their own financial safety by creating a fairness test when a child calls for help. My view is simple: Solve one problem at a time.

First, remember that you need to support yourself in retirement; you do not want to become dependent on someone else (your children, for example) in retirement.

Then, focus on the financially strapped child by helping him get work, offering rent-free shelter or lending money for rent payments under a note with interest. (If you lend money to buy a house, secure the debt with a mortgage.) Have your estate documents provide that the child's potential future inheritance be reduced by any outstanding debt.

Once that is settled, then and only then consider if your resolution created a second problem to solve: "fairness between siblings." Solve one problem at a time.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

April 15 is not just the deadline for the 2024 tax-year filing; it's also the deadline for more than a million people to submit their tax returns for unclaimed refunds totaling more than $1 billion for tax year 2021.

As noted on the IRS webpage "Time you can claim a credit or refund" (tinyurl.com/7kprhaac): "You can't get a credit or refund if you don't file the claim within 3 years of filing your original return, or 2 years after paying the tax, whichever is later, unless you meet an exception that allows you more time to file a claim."

The IRS notes that the estimated median refund amount for 2021 is $781 and adds that the estimate does not include the Recovery Rebate Credit and other credits that might be applicable.

It's probably not surprising that of the estimated 1.1 million people who are eligible to submit tax returns for 2021 refunds, more than 31% of them come from the four most populated states: California (116,300), Texas (102,200), New York (73,000) and Florida (69,800).

The IRS does point out that taxpayers could have a 2021 tax refund held if they have not filed tax returns for 2022 and 2023. Additionally, a 2021 refund will be applied to amounts still owed to the IRS or a state tax agency, and it may be used to offset unpaid child support or other past due federal debts, including student loans (tinyurl.com/2hcncsu2).

If you are planning to file for a 2021 tax refund, the forms for that year can be found at the IRS.gov "Prior year forms and instructions" webpage (tinyurl.com/mrxaz3tf). You can also call 800-TAX-FORM (800-829-3676).

If you are missing key documents, such as Forms W-2 and 1098, you can request them from your employers. The IRS webpage "Get your tax records and transcripts" also provides options.

Now, let's turn to 2024. If you haven't filed your taxes yet, you may be eligible to use a new tax program called Direct File, a web-based service that allows you to file directly with the IRS for free.

Direct File began as a pilot program last year and received positive reviews from taxpayers. This year, it is available in 25 states. You can see a complete listing at the IRS Direct File webpage at IRS.com (tinyurl.com/3abk7tc3).

Some key aspects of Direct File include:

-- It works on mobile phones, desktop computers, laptops or tablets.

-- Once the federal tax return is complete, Direct File will automatically guide users to complete their state filings if needed.

-- Taxpayers can use a data import tool to automatically import information from their IRS account. The data includes personal information, a taxpayer's Identity Protection PIN and some information from a taxpayer's W-2.

-- Taxpayers who are reporting retirement income, contributions or rollovers can use Direct File.

Not all taxpayers are eligible to use Direct File in the 25 participating states. For example, if they have rental income, business income or income from the gig economy, they are not eligible. Also, they cannot use Direct File if they itemize deductions or claim other tax deductions.

To see if you are eligible to use Direct File, go to the Direct File website at directfile.irs.gov and click the "Check eligibility now" box. It will guide you through a series of tax categories to help you determine your eligibility.

Keep in mind that if Direct File is not an option, there are other choices for filing with the IRS for free.

IRS Free File is in its 23rd year and offers free tax preparation software from eight companies as part of a public-private partnership (tinyurl.com/yu8vbbn6). The software is available for those taxpayers with an adjusted gross income of $84,000 or less.

The Volunteer Income Tax Assistance and Tax Counseling for the Elderly programs offer free basic tax return preparation to qualified taxpayers (tinyurl.com/wcfxxvd3), while MilTax is available for all military members, as well as some veterans. Eligibility can be verified at the MilTax website (tinyurl.com/mrwcctud).

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

If you are a director, officer or friend of a nonprofit, what are the best ways to go about raising money for the organization? Donations can come from different sources.

According to “Giving USA 2024: The Annual Report on Philanthropy for the Year 2023,” Americans gave $557.16 billion in 2023, with the largest source of giving coming from individuals ($374.40 billion) (tinyurl.com/2evmjh6v). The next largest source for giving was foundations, at $103.53 billion. The report is published by the Giving USA Foundation, which is a public-service initiative of The Giving Institute.

Among the top recipients of charitable giving, according to the report, were religion ($145.81 billion), human services ($88.84 billion) and education ($87.69 billion).

As for individual donors, curated charitable giving statistics found at the National Philanthropic Trust (NPT) website indicated that the average yearly charitable donation given by middle-income earners is $3,296, and the average charitable donor in the U.S. is 64 years old (tinyurl.com/jkd9szna).

There is competition for those dollars, as IRS statistics indicated there were more than 1.8 million recognized 501(c) charitable organizations in the U.S as of 2023 (tinyurl.com/37b6pbx3).

As for strategies for raising funds, there are a wealth of options –- and resources. For example, Kindful.com (tinyurl.com/3jfrfw66) offers 14 online fundraising ideas for nonprofits, from virtual events and pledge drives to social media contests and corporate partnerships.

The Double the Donation website provides 22 ideas, including direct mail donations, matching gifts, recurring donations and corporate grants (tinyurl.com/9k2bm43y).

Bloomerang, which creates donor management software, presents a discussion of donor segmentation, which it describes as “the process of separating your nonprofit supporters into groups based on common qualities and characteristics they share” (tinyurl.com/nh9st8rx). Among the suggested segments are frequency, type (how people are donating) and interest (what topics are they most interested in).

If you are seeking help for your nonprofit, one avenue could involve receiving grants. NerdWallet provides a list of possible options in its article “Grants for Nonprofits: How to Get Free Funding in 2025” (tinyurl.com/4btfte5p). Among the options listed (with links) are Grants.gov, the Walmart Foundation, Amazon and Google Ad Grants.

Double the Donation also gives insight into corporate philanthropy trends for 2025 (tinyurl.com/3tba7epc), as well as corporate giving and matching gift statistics (tinyurl.com/3mvee9cj).

Nonprofit Megaphone offers a list of more than 77 donation opportunities for nonprofits along with how to apply at tinyurl.com/yjsrzky5.

Nonprofit consultants may also be of help. You can check out Prosper Strategies (which provides tips on how to find a nonprofit consultant, along with a list of consultants at tinyurl.com/2k6sspn5) and Management Consulted (which lists the top 10 nonprofit consulting firms at tinyurl.com/45n96t4n).

You’ll also want to look at what other nonprofits are doing. For example, the Commonbond.org website offers a guide to the types of donations made to nonprofits (tinyurl.com/sd9bedan). Meanwhile, the IRS has a charitable contributions webpage (tinyurl.com/344nu83w) that includes helpful information.

Among other things, individuals can write a check or give money online, donate goods or stock, or name the nonprofit in their wills or beneficiary designations of their retirement accounts. Or they can even use IRA money to donate, if they are over age 70 1/2, through a Qualified Charitable Donation (QCD).

On that note, if you are working on fundraising for your nonprofit and you’d like to know more about QCDs, I’m doing a short interactive discussion on the subject next week (March 19) in Greenwich, Connecticut. The topic is “Non-Profit Insight: Raising Funds Using QCDs.” There is no cost for the event, but space is limited. See tinyurl.com/57zn6dce to reserve your spot. Full disclosure: Neither I nor my firm are compensated for this pro bono financial literacy event.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION