After Melody Warnick's husband landed a great teaching job at a university, she vowed to make the transition a positive experience for her family.

But Warnick, a professional writer with an upbeat approach to life, was shocked at how tough it was to let go of friends and possessions and to adjust to her new town.

"Moving was really hard. I felt disappointed and lonely," she says.

Rather than allowing herself to stay miserable, Warnick, the mother of two young children, took a proactive approach to help herself and her family become bonded to their new community. The product of her planning was a book titled: "This is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live."

The book details how Warnick, a natural introvert, forced herself to get involved in civic and volunteer activities that gave her a greater sense of belonging.

She also advocates "making a big effort to explore nature in your new area." To do this, she and her family now take frequent hikes and bike rides in the mountainous region where they live.

"Connecting with nature induces a sense of well-being and helps you feel happier wherever you happen to live," she says.

Ron Phipps, a veteran real estate broker and former president of the National Association of Realtors (realtor.org), says that even when a housing transition is voluntary and the move doesn't involve a new town, it requires lots of adjustments.

Phipps contends that one secret to a fulfilling transition is to downsize gracefully. Here are a few pointers:

-- Ask a friend to help you purge possessions from your old place.

Vicki Norris, a former real estate agent and professional organizer, says it can take up to 24 work hours to de-clutter the average room. To avoid becoming sidetracked when preparing for a move, she says many people need an ally to help them view their possessions objectively and let go of things they can't take with them.

"It's good to have someone there with you to help you stay focused and create an organized strategy," says Norris, author of "Restoring Order to Your Home."

In an attempt to tackle the downsizing project, many people turn to family members. But Norris says you're better off with a professional organizer. One source for referrals is the real estate agent with whom you expect to list your property for sale. Another is the National Association of Professional Organizers (napo.net).

If you can't afford a professional, Norris suggests you ask a friend to come by to assist -- if only to help you structure an action plan and gain momentum toward your move.

-- Ask family members if they want memorabilia.

Retirees making a move often cling to nostalgic items they believe their grown children might want someday. But Norris says many parents believe their offspring will want a lot more things than they do.

"Typically, Mom and Dad hang on to things the kids really don't really want," says Norris, who suggests that downsizers ask grown children what items they value.

-- Develop a memory book with photos of your place.

When Norris' parents retired and put their family home up for sale, they did so voluntarily. Even so, they found it emotionally difficult to let go of a residence where they'd lived for 28 years.

Still, the process of downsizing was eased after their listing agent gave them a book of photos showing all their rooms and furnishings just as they looked before the home was staged for sale.

"That way they were able to seal their memories --including how the dining room table looked when their whole extended family came over for Thanksgiving dinners," Norris says.

-- Give away functional items you can't take with you.

As they plow through their property room-by-room, most downsizers encounter many items that crowd their space and would be costly to ship. In addition, they could have many things their children no longer want, such as outdated toys or items related to long-abandoned hobbies.

Whenever possible, Norris encourages donations of serviceable items to a nonprofit institution that will put them to good use.

"When you have to let go of your old life and transition to a whole new lifestyle, it can be enormously satisfying to know your castoffs will serve a vital purpose to help others," says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Turmoil in Europe and political upheavals elsewhere are translating to very favorable mortgage rates for Americans. Such factors -- combined with still-rising home values in many real estate markets -- are tempting more U.S. homeowners to ponder mortgage refinance.

"Strong borrowers are now eligible for amazingly low rates," says Keith Gumbinger, a vice president at HSH Associates, which tracks the mortgage market for consumers.

Indeed, some homeowners are even considering a cash-out refinance -- an idea that was virtually unthinkable in the immediate aftermath of the 2008 crash.

Gumbinger cautions against drawing cash out of a home through a mortgage refinance (or a home equity line of credit) without serious plans for the money's use.

Scott Lanoff, the president of a small mortgage brokerage firm, says many homeowners plan to take advantage of the current low mortgage rates to pay off credit card debts. Whether that's a good idea depends on the borrowers and their level of self-discipline.

"If you're taking money out of your home equity for debt consolidation, you'd better have a solid strategy to avoid the temptation of running up those credit card balances again in the future," Lanoff says.

Here are a few pointers for those seeking to refinance:

-- Assess your credit standing before starting the refinance process.

There are several reasons why your application to refinance might be rebuffed. Perhaps you recently left a steady job to form your own company but don't yet have tax records showing strong income from the new business. Or maybe in the recent past you had to take an extended leave from your job for personal or medical reasons.

Another factor limiting mortgage market access involves what Gumbinger calls a "a severe deterioration of credit." This could result from late payments on your mortgage or a delinquent student loan.

The most common indicators of credit worthiness used by mortgage lenders involve credit scores. Lenders assume that the higher your score, the less risk you represent to those who lend you money.

Credit scores typically range between 300 and 850, and if you rank low it could severely hinder your chance of refinancing to a lower rate.

"At the very least, you'll probably pay a higher interest rate and more fees to refinance if your credit score is subpar," Gumbinger says.

Still, he says many homeowners with a few credit blemishes are actually surprised to find that their scores are higher than they'd expected.

Under federal law, consumers have free access to credit reports on a yearly basis. Alternatively, you can purchase credit reports and score information through the three major credit bureaus (TransUnion, Experian and Equifax) or by going to the website of Fair Isaac Corp. (myfico.com).

Gumbinger says you can easily find out if you're eligible for a lower rate by calling a few mortgage lenders and telling them your current scores.

"If you know your numbers, you're less likely to get bamboozled into paying too much to refinance," he says.

-- Look for lender quality as well as favorable rates.

"Within reason, I would leave no stone unturned in looking for the right place to refinance," Gumbinger says.

Some homeowners are comfortable using a lender from a faraway state that they've found through the internet. But Gumbinger says those who are anxious about the process are often more at ease with a nearby lender.

"It's important to realize that rates are quite uniform throughout the country. So you're not necessarily going to get a better deal from a lender in a distant location. In addition, you'll probably have a happier customer service situation locally," he says.

One obvious way to search for a customer-friendly lender is to ask friends, neighbors or work associates about companies they've used and liked. Or you can seek out referrals from the real estate agent who sold you your present home. Agents usually keep a short list of lenders whom they've found to be reliable.

-- Begin with the use of online resources.

As a starting point, Gumbinger is a big fan of the online information available to mortgage hunters.

You can use online calculators to adjust for different factors, including the amount borrowed and the full term (duration) of the loan.

"Calculators are terrific for comparing various refinance scenarios," Gumbinger says.

One of many websites offering free online calculators is that of HSH Associates (hsh.com), Gumbinger's firm. Through it, you can also buy the results of a comprehensive weekly survey of mortgage rates available through lenders that serve your area.

Another popular source for refinance information is bankrate.com.

-- Know your own power as a strong mortgage refinance customer.

Homeowners with the income, credit standing and equity to qualify for the lowest available rates when they refinance should expect lenders to compete for their business and treat them well, Gumbinger says.

"If the lender pulls a bait-and-switch tactic at any point along the way to closing, you'll want the ability to simply walk away. Remember that as a highly qualified borrower, you're in the catbird seat and deserve complete respect," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Some of the happiest of childhood memories can be linked to growing up in a community with friendly people. But sometimes those seeking to find a home in a family-friendly place are disappointed, says Diana Leafe Christian, the author of "Finding Community."

"Community-seekers need to know how to avoid the common blunders that well-meaning but inexperienced people can make when first visiting and joining communities," says Christian, an advocate for intentional communities, which are organized from the outset to give residents a high level of social interaction and mutual support.

Mark Nash, a long-time real estate broker and author of "1001 Tips for Buying and Selling a Home," says many buyers mistakenly believe a suburban community with high-end houses will necessarily give them a warm, welcoming place to live.

"You could locate your family in a so-called 'nice neighborhood' only to discover that people there have no time to talk because they travel a lot, have high-powered jobs and put their kids in private schools rather than neighborhood schools," Nash says.

There's no simple formula for finding a family-friendly neighborhood. But Nash urges homebuyers to investigate thoroughly before making a purchase. Here are a few pointers:

-- Consider buying in a brand-new subdivision.

Would you like to live in a development of freshly built new homes yet fear it would be an unfriendly place to raise your family? If so, Nash suggests you learn more about the development before automatically rejecting it based on what could be an unfounded belief.

Granted, brand-new communities with moderately priced homes are often populated by many two-income families with parents who have demanding daily schedules. Still, many who move to these new areas are highly motivated to build lasting friendships with neighbors who also have kids and would like to share childcare responsibilities.

"One huge plus for a brand-new neighborhood is that everyone comes in from the same starting point. There's no established social hierarchy for a newcomer to break into," Nash says.

-- Recognize the benefits of an established community with a mix of ages.

Although a neighborhood populated with many young children offers obvious advantages for families with small kids, there are also positives for one with mixed-age households.

"Try finding a babysitter in an area where nearly all the residents have kids under 10. You need a place with teenagers or college students home on breaks to find babysitters," he says.

And what about families moving to an area where some friendly empty-nesters already reside?

"It's psychologically healthy for kids to see active seniors out ... enjoying life, especially if the older people interact with the children in a positive way," Nash says.

-- Investigate the social dynamics of any neighborhood you're considering.

Buyers who want a friendly, interactive community are well advised to spend some time there looking for less-than-obvious clues about how people relate.

To learn more about the underlying social dynamics of a community, don't hesitate to go door-to-door and strike up conversations with residents or talk to local shopkeepers. Ask them about the pros and cons of living in the area. The odds are they will respond candidly.

-- Don't limit yourself to just one visit to the neighborhood.

Nash suggests that those with a strong interest in a community visit the area at varied hours to look for patterns of human behavior. Also consider visiting on a weekday as well as the weekend.

"Walk or drive through the neighborhood four times in a day, during the morning, at mid-afternoon, at dinnertime and at 11 p.m. Notice whether people are relating to each other or staying holed up in their homes nearly all the time," he says.

-- Always factor in the advantages of solid neighborhood schools.

A school is important for more than the educational opportunities it gives students. A strong school can help draw people together, tightening the bonds among residents of all ages, says William Bainbridge, president of the SchoolMatch Institute, (schoolmatch.com), which provides comparative information on school quality.

Must you move to an affluent area to find a school with both high-quality facilities and a dedicated teaching force? Not necessarily, according to Bainbridge, who says parental involvement is a key factor in school quality and one that can be present in any type of community.

-- Remember that friendship is always a reciprocal activity.

Those who live in a supportive community have many advantages. For one thing, they can count on neighbors in a pinch -- to borrow a couple of eggs, for example. For another, their neighbors can help ensure the security of their home while they're away. Most importantly, they can count on help in an emergency situation.

But as Nash stresses, moving to a friendly neighborhood won't guarantee that you develop a strong support structure, unless you invest time and energy in creating positive relationships that are genuinely give-and-take. You need to socialize during times of celebration as well as need.

"There's no way to shortcut the process of building relationships. If you want your neighbors to be there in your time of need, you'd better build a good relationship with them and make sure you're also there when they need you," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)