Smart Moves

A woman in her late 20s -- a graphic artist married to a marketing manager -- struggled through sleepless nights for nearly a week after the couple bought a townhouse in a hip city neighborhood.

Had the couple bought the wrong home? Would the place lose value? Would they fail to meet their mortgage payments and face foreclosure? All these questions plagued her mind in the middle of the night.

It was misery until she talked through the issues with a financial planner and realized that buying the townhouse was indeed a sound decision.

As this true story illustrates, suffering from sleeplessness due to home-buying fears can afflict anyone, says Dorcas Helfant, the co-owner of several realty company offices. With so much at stake, she says it’s not surprising that many buyers second-guess themselves about real estate.

Sid Davis, a longtime real estate broker and author of “A Survival Guide to Selling a Home,” says it’s not uncommon for sellers to suffer from insomnia while their property is on the market.

“Even in a hot neighborhood, where houses are practically flying off the market, some sellers get totally stressed out,” Davis says.

Financial fears, along with health concerns, are leading factors that are highly correlated to insomnia, says Dr. Lawrence Epstein, a physician specializing in sleep at the Harvard Medical School and co-author of “The Harvard Medical School Guide to a Good Night’s Sleep.”

Real estate issues are only one of many explanations for insomnia. Epstein estimates that about 10 percent of American adults experience a chronic sleep problem.

Are you having difficulty sleeping due to a significant real estate issue or for any other reason? If so, these few pointers could help:

-- Realize that medication is a short-term fix at best.

Colleen Carney, co-author of “Quiet Your Mind & Get to Sleep,” has no objection to the short-term use of sleep aids. For example, they could be appropriate for people in the midst of a stressful home-buying transition.

“Medications are a quick and inexpensive fix for people with temporary insomnia due to a stressful situation,” says Carney, a psychologist specializing in sleep.

But Carney cautions that the use of sleep medications for more than two or three months can be counterproductive and could actually hinder the efforts of insomniacs to obtain sounder sleep.

-- Try to take the time to wind down before bedtime.

As Carney says, human beings aren’t programmed to downshift suddenly from an excited or stressful state of mind to the kind of relaxation that’s conducive to sound sleep. For that reason, she recommends that those suffering from insomnia give themselves a “buffer period” before going to bed.

“You need at least an hour to wind down,” says Carney, who’s been involved in sleep research for well over a decade.

During your buffer period, try to avoid work-related activities or discussions which could provoke worry or anxiety. For example, don’t get into a heated conversation with your spouse about which home to buy or how to deal with an unsold property. Instead, limit yourself to quiet activities, such as reading or watching a calming movie.

“Don’t do anything before bed that could over-stimulate you and make it harder for you to produce sound sleep,” Carney says.

-- Track your sleep habits closely.

Sleep experts say the most effective ways to deal with insomnia involve behavioral changes that can’t be accomplished overnight. They require sustained effort over a period of time.

“It’s the bad habits that affect our sleep more than anything else,” Carney says.

Because it can take weeks to reverse sleep habits, insomnia experts recommend use of a sleep log that can be found in many books on the topic of insomnia.

“The idea is to track your sleep habits until you can change them in constructive ways,” Carney says.

One practical guide you can consult is “The Insomnia Workbook” by Stephanie Silberman.

-- Keep electronic devices out of your bedroom if possible.

It’s no secret that electronic devices such as cell phones, tablets and laptops are a primary source of information for those heading into the home purchase or sale. But using them at night for this or any other purpose can be counterproductive to restful sleep, especially for people prone to insomnia, according to Carney.

“Ideally, you’ll sleep in a bedroom without a computer, or at least you’ll shut it down before going to bed,” she says.

Carney and other insomnia specialists say an increasing number of people are hindering their prospects for good sleep by bringing electronic devices -- including laptops and cell phones -- into bed with them.

“You don’t want anything electronic in your bed. It’s also a good idea to avoid watching TV in your bedroom,” she says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Competition for affordable entry-level homes in desirable neighborhoods remains intense, due to a shortage of available property. This has many first-time buyers very frustrated.

What’s worse is there’s no end in sight to the problem, says Svenja Gudell, the chief economist for Zillow, the real estate database company.

“Simple demographic change is contributing to incredibly high demand, as millennials reach their prime home-buying years and begin to enter the market in droves,” Gudell says.

Competition among rival buyers is prompting some young home-buying hopefuls to consider properties they would otherwise have ruled out -- like homes in rundown condition or those in neighborhoods not to their liking. But real estate experts fear this could one day lead to disappointment if they compromise too much.

“What’s the point of winning in a multiple bidding situation if you end up owning the wrong house? Errors in selection can be costly both emotionally and financially,” says Mark Nash, a longtime real estate broker and author of “1001 Tips for Buying & Selling a Home.”

Nash tells the story of one of his clients, a single man in his mid-30s, who bought a ranch-style house in the suburbs, against his inclinations.

The man was miserable with his choice. A property that would have been perfect for a family proved a poor pick for a man still on the dating circuit. Eating out, theater-going and sports bars had given way to home upkeep and garden weeding.

In despair, the bank manager phoned Nash, announcing his decision to sell the suburban house just two years after buying it.

Fortunately, the upswing in value on the suburban house allowed the bachelor to invest his equity in a condo-apartment back in the city. But he still regrets the two dull years he spent in the suburbs.

Nash urges novice buyers, or anyone considering a radical shift in housing style, to be especially cautious in selecting a property.

“Buyers operating outside their comfort zone can easily make a mistaken choice,” he says.

Here are a few pointers on finding the right property, despite competitive pressures:

-- Clear the air with family members about their expectations.

Many novice purchasers, especially those in their 20s and early 30s, accept parental gifts to help realize their homeownership goal.

“Often, there are a lot of strings attached when the family steps in. There are big control issues, and parental influence can lead to bad decisions,” Nash says.

He’s noticed that some parents, eager to boast that their children live in a prestigous neighborhood, will encourage them to buy beyond their self-imposed limits, which can put pressure on their marriages.

Before you accept family help, you need to know if your parents think this gives them veto rights over your home choice, Nash asserts.

“A heart-to-heart talk can really help you avert this problem before it arises,” he says.

-- Show your inquisitive side before choosing a property.

Buying a home is much different from buying a car. New Honda CR-Vs, for example, are all basically alike -- no matter where you buy one.

But each home is likely to have unique qualities. Even in brand-new subdivisions, floor plans and lot settings vary. And the disparities are still greater in older communities, where properties may have changed hands several times. Upkeep differs from owner to owner.

Of course, you’ll want to find a reputable home inspector to scrutinize any property you plan to buy. But even before you reach that stage, you should pose plenty of questions about the home and the community where it’s situated, says Merrill Ottwein, a real estate broker and past president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents (naeba.org).

“I always tell folks to walk the community before deciding whether you’d like to live there,” Ottwein says.

Local residents can forewarn you about the annoying freight trains that pass through or the jets with flight paths overhead. They can also tell you about unpleasant traffic problems and issues facing the local schools.

“Information is power, and that’s especially true when you’re selecting a home,” Ottwein says.

-- Don’t rush into property selection.

Some longtime renters get so keyed up at the idea of homeownership that they rush into the wrong purchase, according to Nash.

“With all this excitement and newness around their plans, they stop thinking straight,” he says.

To help guard against the tendency to plunge headlong into a purchase -- a temptation that’s especially strong in highly competitive markets -- Nash suggests that first-time buyers look at multiple properties during a shopping tour, even if they fall in love with the first place they see.

“And don’t work with any agent who pressures you into thinking that every house you see is a ‘home run.’ Think for yourself when choosing a place,” he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

When it comes to statistics, housing economists are hyper-focused on two age groups: millennials and baby boomers. A look at data makes it obvious why this is the case. Each year, 12 percent of millennials move, and 3.4 percent of boomers move.

Lost in the statistical shuffle are those age 75 and older. Why are they so often overlooked by real estate analysts? Because each year, just 1.6 percent of people in this age group move.

“A large portion of elderly people are aging in place rather than moving in their later years,” according to Taylor Marr, a data scientist for Redfin, a national real estate brokerage and data analysis company.

But when older seniors do move, the transition can be wrenching, especially for those who’ve long resided in a property chock full of possessions and memories.

“For elderly people, a move often constitutes a crisis ignited by a health or financial reversal,” says Joan McLellan Tayler, a longtime real estate author and realty company owner.

Tayler says elderly people typically turn to grown kids for help when moving. But even if the parents don’t ask for help, the kids often interject themselves, usually with the best of intentions.

“But the grown kids are no substitute for a really skillful and empathic real estate pro,” she says.

One agent specializing in assisting senior sellers of all ages is Diana Gaydon. She recommends helping elders by lining up listing appointments with at least three agents and then sitting in on the interviews.

“Look for an agent who’s empathic and a great listener,” says Gaydon, who holds the designation of “Seniors Real Estate Specialist,” conferred by the National Association of Realtors.

Here are a few pointers for those helping elderly parents make a major move:

-- Honor your parents’ attachment to their home.

“Young people are accustomed to casting off possessions when they move ... But their grandparents weren’t raised that way,” Tayler says.

For the elderly, sorting through possessions can be exhausting.

“What’s a treasure and what’s junk? Separating items into those categories can be tremendously tedious,” Tayler says.

But while the children of elderly parents can be very helpful in a housing transition, Tayler says it’s unwise for them to become involved in the sorting and culling process.

“Family members are never totally objective. That can result in heated arguments that are painful for all concerned,” she says.

Instead, she recommends that senior home sellers engage the help of a professional organizer. One source for referrals is the National Association of Professional Organizers (www.napo.net). For a lesser fee, (perhaps $10 to $20 an hour), your parents can likely find an energetic college student or recent grad by posting a classified ad.

-- Promise your parents you’ll respect their prized possessions.

One way to help smooth the transition for your parents is to guarantee you’ll safeguard their valuables during the interim period in which their home is shown to the public, Gaydon says.

“For example, you might tell them you’ll take those coveted photos they have hanging on the wall and place them in a nice box ... until their house is sold,” she says.

-- Show sensitivity in helping parents dispose of excess belongings.

Conducting an estate sale to break up the family household might sound like a good idea. After all, the professional firm holding the sale will give your parents a percentage of the revenues they bring in.

But the unsentimental manner in which such a sale is conducted could easily hurt your parents’ feelings. It can be painful to overhear strangers haggling over the price of items you’ve owned and valued for decades, Tayler says.

As an alternative, she recommends you ask your parents for the names of their favorite charities and arrange to have their giveaways taken there. (Valuable antiques and art can be sold through a dealer or an online company such as eBay.)

“Donating to a charity you believe in can be a positive experience,” Tayler says.

-- Use tact when addressing your parents on needed home updates.

Those who’ve lived in the same home for a long time are often very comfortable with their décor, no matter how dated, and think prospective buyers should feel the same way. But their grown kids typically agree with the listing agent that the home should be updated to more contemporary standards before it goes on the market.

The problem is that you could face a lot of resistance if you try to push your parents into replacing their still-functioning burnt-gold refrigerator. Likewise, they might rebuff you if you demand that they have their 20-year-old turquoise carpeting torn up and replaced with a neutral beige carpet.

Instead, try quiet reasoning and persuasion in hopes of convincing them to follow your recommendations and those of their listing agent.

“Never attempt to belittle or shame your parents into the home improvements needed for a successful sale. That can backfire big time,” Tayler says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)