DEAR NATALIE: I'm a journalist who has done quite a bit of writing about suicide and the ways we, as a culture, try to make sense of it and give it meaning. ... A boy I went to middle school with killed himself shortly after Kurt Cobain did the same, an event that greatly shaped my life, as a person and a writer. I am now working on a book that compiles much of my research and writing, including the more personal story about this boy. .. Although 20 years have passed, his family was kind enough to talk with me about the event and share their memories. But when I began to approach former classmates about it, they were largely unresponsive. I worry that my interest in writing about this particular boy's death might come off as an act of sensationalism or defamation. Is there a way to communicate my intentions without scaring them away? Or is their reluctance less about me and more about the subject matter? I suppose, in the end, does their silence communicate as much as a response? -- That Girl

DEAR THAT GIRL: Suicide is not a subject we talk about in our society. ... Take the silence of your peers as the answer you needed to hear. The fact that no one wants to speak on this topic with you should indicate to you that this is a subject worth exploring in a sensitive, thoughtful manner. Don't let others' fear prevent you from, or shame you about, wanting to tackle a difficult topic. Without communication, there is no healing. Talk with a grief counselor who has worked with families that have lost a loved one to suicide for deeper insight. There is also a great book, "Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: Fourth Edition" by J. William Worden. You may find the chapter on suicide useful. Talk not just on suicide, but on the effects of grief and compounded grief. The book you're writing may change the hearts of those afraid to speak up, and maybe even help save someone who is contemplating their own way out. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Social media is a key to networking. Start with the big three for business marketing: Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. Reach out to people that are doing interesting things of value and set up times to chat via phone or in person to make that connection real and vibrant. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend and I have been together for over five years and we have lived together for three of those five. But, lately, our schedules have not been meshing, we have been arguing a lot, and we haven’t been spending a lot of “quality” time together (if you know what I mean). We have been talking about perhaps not living together for a bit and see how that goes, but don’t you think that is just one step away from breaking up? I don’t want to lose him, but things can’t keep going the way they have been. -- FEELING DISTANT 

DEAR FEELING DISTANT: Usually when relationships are going well, people want to be together more not less. But, you have to decide if this is just a bump in the road or if you are both going your separate ways. Before you decide not to renew that lease, try a few of these ideas first: 1. You may be suffering from a bit of cabin fever. Try planning an escape route together. Take a weekend trip somewhere or even spend a night at a local hotel once in a while to change up the scenery. 2. Don’t forget to still date each other. It can be easy to fall into the pattern of being roommates and forgetting that you are also lovers. Plan one date night a week. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but reconnecting over a meal, taking a walk in the park or checking out a new art gallery can reignite passion and interest in one another, sparking conversation and hopefully lighting a fire (if you know what I mean). 3. Take little breaks from one another by spending time with friends, family or attending work functions solo. A little distance can make the heart grow fonder, but too much can make the heart forget.

DEAR NATALIE: How do I tell my friend that she isn’t invited to my wedding? We are having just a very small event and it’s mostly family. The minute I told her that I was getting married, she just assumed that she was invited. She has already bought a dress and asked me if she should try and get a date or just come solo. I don’t have the heart to tell her that she hasn’t been invited, but my fiance keeps saying that I better say something before she shows up and realizes she doesn’t have a seat at the table. What do I do? The last thing I want is to hurt her feelings. -- YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US

DEAR YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US: Unfortunately, there really is no way around this without ruffling her feathers. It wasn’t fair of her to make any presumptions about having an invite. If she hasn’t received something in the mail (or in her inbox) then why is she assuming she is on the list? In any case, weddings are always emotionally charged events and the only thing you can do is to just be honest and be kind. Say something like, “You know I would love to have you a part of our day, but unfortunately, we only have room for family and just a few friends. I would love to do something after all of the wedding craziness is over and have a fun night out, just us!” She may be taken aback, she may get upset, but what can you do? Make it clear that she isn’t invited, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t care about her or want her in your life. Give her a little space if she feels hurt, but also leave the door open to keep communication alive. If she is a real friend, she will get over it in time. If not, I don’t know if I would want someone so sensitive around me all the time, anyway.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: People like to talk. About other people. But, you never know who knows who, so whenever you do speak about someone in a networking situation, keep it positive. It may get back to them, and that would be a good thing!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My ex and I have been separated for 12 years. We were never married, but we were in a long-term relationship, and she was the only woman I was ever with. Recently, I saw photos of her on Facebook with her daughter, who looked to be around 12 years old. The daughter resembles me. Should I reach out to her and see if this is my child? My friends are telling me no, but if I have a daughter, I want to be a part of her life. What do you think? -- Potential Father

DEAR POTENTIAL FATHER: This is a tricky situation, mostly because if you are the father, I would think that your ex would have reached out by now. I don't know why you broke up, but if she didn't feel comfortable asking or talking with you about this, there may be a reason on her end. However, it's understandable that you want to know whether you have a child. There is only one way to find out. If you don't have her contact information anymore, you can send her a private message on Facebook. You can either say something vague like, "I know it's been a long time, but I would like to talk to you about something. Can I call you this week?" and see what she says. Or, you could also be more direct and say, "I just saw a photo of you and your daughter on Facebook. Is there any chance that she could be my child?" She may be taken aback by this, or even insulted by you asking. You have to be prepared for silence from her, as well as a response that you may not want to hear. But, at least you'll know you tried to reach out to her rather than sitting around wondering, "What if?" 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)