DEAR NATALIE: My life has taken an interesting turn in the past week. I suffer from a chronic health condition and it is getting progressively worse. I was considering hospice for a while, but I’ve improved enough that I want to keep fighting. I have two daughters and I want to be there for them, especially since my wife (their mother) died almost eight years ago, unexpectedly. Well, also unexpectedly, my ex – from many years ago – reconnected with me on social media. We have been talking almost every day and she even shared that she never fell out of love with me. I’ve been a widower for so long, I almost forgot what it felt to feel happy again. She wants to visit me and “see if the spark is still there.” I’m hesitant to tell her about my health and the idea of falling in love at this point when I could die at any time…I don’t want to hurt either of us…or my children. What should I do? – AFRAID TO FALL AGAIN

DEAR AFRAID TO FALL AGAIN: You and your daughters have been through so much heartache over the years and I understand your trepidation in bringing someone back into your life. I would ask yourself these questions: What do you have to lose? What if this person provides a space for your daughters to feel like they have a new friend to share things with? What if there is a spark? What’s wrong with being happy…no matter the timeline? I know there is a fear because of everything your family has endured. But doesn’t everyone deserve some levity, too? Even if she just becomes a friend in your orbit, it sounds as though it’s a risk worth taking. Nothing is ever guaranteed for any of us and while you want to protect her and your family from more heartache and pain, it’s the love between people that makes life worth living. Consider opening your heart and see what can happen.

DEAR NATALIE: My son has been dating a woman who I don’t care for. She is incredibly bossy and orders him around like he’s her servant. My daughter thinks she’s great and so does my husband, but I see how she talks to him. He follows her around like a puppy. I have told him that I have my reservations about her.  Well, last week he told my husband and me that he is planning on proposing and wanted our blessing. I didn’t give it, and I told him I needed time to think. Now my husband is upset with me because our son is upset. What can I say to convince him to reconsider this relationship? – NOT SURE ABOUT HER

DEAR NOT SURE ABOUT HER: Mom, it’s time to get onboard. It sounds as though this woman makes your son happy and (spoiler alert!) some men actually do love strong, bossy women. As long as she isn’t verbally abusive, let it be. From the tone of your email, you also sound like a woman who is used to being in charge. Perhaps this is more of an ego bruise than anything else. I recommend taking a step back and recognizing that your son is going to marry who he wants to marry. If everyone else in the family likes her, consider where your own blindspots may be in this situation. If you want to be in his life in a meaningful way moving forward, I suggest you get to know her and learn to accept her for who she is. You might actually have more in common than you think.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @NatalieBencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend shoved me onto the ground the other night and spit on me. He was drunk and came home upset that I wasn’t waiting up for him. I was exhausted after a long shift at work and had gone to bed early. When he woke me up, I got up from the bed to turn on the overhead light, and he shoved me and spit on me. I was in total shock. He’s always had a bit of a temper but never anything like this. I told him he couldn’t sleep in the bedroom and so he fell asleep on the couch. When I confronted him about it the next morning, he was very apologetic and acted as if he didn’t even remember doing it. What do I do with that? I am worried this will only escalate. I love him, but I don’t want to live in fear. What should I do? – SCARED FOR MY LIFE

DEAR SCARED FOR MY LIFE: The experience you just shared sounded terrifying and dehumanizing. I am sorry you went through that. It’s no wonder you feel unnerved and afraid. You shouldn’t have to live like this and he needs serious help. The fact that he became violent and has no recollection of his behavior should scare him. But not remembering behavior doesn’t excuse it. If you feel able to, break it off with him – at least for a while. He should move out and go to therapy. He needs to quit drinking. He needs to deal with the root cause of what happened and take accountability for his actions. If living apart is not an option right now, then he still needs to commit to working on his sobriety, being in therapy and going to couples’ therapy with you. You might also benefit from individual therapy to sort through what happened and how it impacted you. None of this is acceptable. I hope he gets help and can change – but in case he doesn’t – you need an immediate exit strategy. 

DEAR NATALIE: My ex-boyfriend (from years ago) reached out to me last week. He has since come out of the closet and has been married to a man now for two years. While we haven’t kept in close contact, we are still friendly and our breakup was amicable. He called me because they want to have a baby and want me to carry the baby for them. I have since married and have two small children of my own. I was flattered that they thought of me and I’m open to doing it, but my husband thinks it is a terrible idea. He worries how our kids will react if I’m pregnant but “giving away” the baby. I told him that kids are adaptable and we can explain it to them in a way they would understand. I think the real issue is that he thinks it’s weird how my ex is trying to insert himself into my life. He wants nothing to do with any of this. What do you think the best plan of action is here? – CARRIED AWAY

DEAR CARRIED AWAY: What matters more to you? Your marriage or carrying your ex’s baby? At the end of the day, this is no small request. Pregnancy – and I don’t need to tell you this  – is a huge, transformative undertaking that can be dangerous. Considering the lack of quality maternal healthcare in this country, your health and wellbeing should be factored into this equation. Do you want to take on this unnecessary risk with two little kids of your own that need their mother? Look at the bigger picture and what really matters to you when making this decision. I’m not sure it’s a risk I would be willing to take when there is so much at stake. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @NatalieBencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: I met this wonderful guy and we dated for about two years. Then, out of the blue one day, he broke things off. He said that “we wanted different things,” because I wanted children and he didn’t. Well, I’ve been single for about a year and a half and I recently saw him out. He was pushing a stroller. He just had a baby with his “new girlfriend.” I was really taken aback. I was deeply in love with this man and thought he was ‘the one.’ Truth be told, I never got over him and seeing him with a new partner and a baby really struck me hard. It was incredibly awkward. He knew I was upset. He texted me after and asked me if I wanted to get a coffee and talk. I don’t know what to do. Part of me almost wants closure but then what if I just get in even deeper? He said the situation with his new girlfriend “is less than ideal.” What should I do? 

– AFRAID TO FALL IN LOVE (AGAIN)

DEAR AFRAID TO FALL IN LOVE (AGAIN): You should under no circumstances meet this walking red flag for any reason. Not only did he break up with you, turn right around and get with someone else and have a baby which he said he didn’t want when he was with you – he also disrespected his current partner while speaking with you. The fact that he is bad mouthing his relationship right off the bat after seeing you shows that this guy is a toxic mess. He made his bed and he can lie in it. You need to find a way forward and heal from him. Inviting him back into your life is only going to end in deeper heartache for you. Run, don’t walk, as fast as you can. 

DEAR NATALIE: My friend borrowed a substantial amount of money from me when they were falling behind on their rent a few months back. (It was about $1500 dollars) and they said they would pay me back in installments once they got back on their feet. They have since gotten a new job and so I asked them when they would be able to start paying me back? My friend got really upset and texted me saying that I was catching him at a vulnerable time and it was inappropriate to ask them financial questions right now. I was so confused. I wrote back, “What do you mean? You told me once you got a new job, you would start paying me back $200 a month until it was paid in full, plus an additional $150 as ‘interest.’” They wrote me back and said, “There’s no way I can start doing that right now. I can let you know in a few more months.” I feel really duped by them. We had a plan and now that they have the money, they aren’t following through. How should I proceed? I care about our friendship but I also feel as though I was just taken advantage of. Should I threaten legal action? I worry that will ruin our relationship even further. Any ideas? – HE OWES ME MONEY

DEAR E OWES ME MONEY: There is that old saying, “Money and friends don’t mix.” Now you see why. I have always said that if you are going to loan money to a friend or a family member, think of it in your mind as a gift you are willing to give. Don’t loan money you can’t afford to lose, either. Unfortunately, your friend did take advantage of your good heart and you most likely won’t see that money (at least for a long while). If you want to salvage the relationship, you need to talk with him and get on the same page about the reality of the situation. Can he even afford to pay you back right now? As far as taking legal action, it is going to cost more for you to retain a lawyer than the money owed. I would try to discuss this with him first as a friend and see if you can get on a payment plan in the next six months so that you can both feel as though progress is being made. In the future, don’t loan any more money out you aren’t willing to let go of. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @NatalieBencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga