DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my dad was 16, my grandparents kicked him out of the house. He even admits he was one wild child, but he never forgave his parents and from then on, had as little to do with them as he could.

My grandfather passed away a few months ago and it left me pretty busted up. I was very close with him, and helped my mom take care of him in his last days. She has always gotten along really well with my grandparents and has always been a little mad at my dad for never working to heal the separation between him and his father. Now it’s too late.

I still live at home and every time my dad sees how sad I am, he badmouths my grandpa and it just makes me feel worse. Why can’t he just let it go and let me grieve for the man he gave up on over 30 years ago? --- GRIEVING GRANDSON

DEAR GRIEVING GRANDSON: There are some rifts that can never be closed, and some hurts that never heal. Even if you know some of the circumstances of your father’s split with his parents, you probably don’t know the whole story.

It may be that your father will never speak well of your grandfather. It could even be his way of grieving. Try and see past his resentment and pain, and allow yourself the time you need to miss your grandfather. Honor him in your own way, regardless of your father’s negativity.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Less than a year ago my husband and I got married at a beautiful lodge in the mountains not far from where we live. My sister-in-law, who was also my maid of honor, just announced her engagement and that they had already booked the same venue we had. Not only did they copy our venue, but it’s like she is re-creating our wedding in her image. The dress she showed me is very different from mine, but otherwise, from the tuxes to the menu and flowers, it might as well be our wedding all over again.

She’s asked me to be her maid of honor, and I have said yes, but I feel what she’s doing is just wrong. Why can’t she plan her own wedding instead of copying mine? --- SISTER-IN-LAW OF A COPYCAT

DEAR SISTER-IN-LAW OF A COPYCAT: Haven’t you ever heard that imitation is the highest form of flattery? It seems your sister-in-law was so impressed with your wedding that she wants to guarantee her day will be a success, as I’m hoping yours was.

As her maid of honor, she’ll probably rely on you for support and encouragement. It’s going to be your job to put your feelings second to her needs, and if she continues to keep her plans close to yours, help make sure all goes as well as possible.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve been through a lot with “Jen”. She’s had a couple of rough years because of bad jobs and worse relationships. She knows I’m always there for her, and I’m happy I can be that kind of a friend. But it would be really nice if Jen listened to me sometimes. I just lost my job when the company I was with for four years went bankrupt, and the guy I was dating and beginning to really care for transferred with his job to Canada.

I’m holding things together pretty well, but Jen never asks me how I’m doing, or if there’s anything she can do to help me. It kind of hurts.

Am I being small or is she, or is this just the way it is? --- MY TURN FOR NEEDING A FRIEND

DEAR MY TURN FOR NEEDING A FRIEND: You may be paying the price of being the usually strong, altogether one. Since you’ve been listing to Jen for so long, you might need to rattle her cage a little and let her know you need a shoulder to cry on this time around.

If Jen isn’t able or caring enough to reciprocate, she might not be as close a friend as you think she is.