DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Sometimes I just don’t get it. My wife is forever deep cleaning our apartment. She steams the carpets and living room furniture at least every other week. I’ve told her I read too much steam cleaning can damage your furniture and carpet and can even cause mold, but she doesn’t seem to get it.

We have a toddler, so she thinks the best thing to do is keep everything as sanitary as possible, but I think she’s doing our daughter a disservice and maybe even exposing her to mold.

Should I worry my wife is becoming some kind of germophobic? --- LIKE A LITTLE DIRT

DEAR LIKE A LITTLE DIRT: Given everything that’s been going on, it’s possible your wife is just doing what she thinks is best to protect her family. However, your point about too much not necessarily being a good thing is also a valid one, for a number of reasons.

Maybe if you share with her some of the information you’ve found regarding the potentially adverse effects of overcleaning, she’ll consider changing up her housekeeping routines a bit.

But remember when you broach the subject, be sure to give her credit for her motives and efforts.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My roommate, “Josh,” is seeing “Ray” since last Halloween, when they met at a party. Josh wanted to take it slow, and they did, until Ray practically moved in around Valentine’s Day, and somehow ended up largely sheltered in place with us throughout the pandemic lockdown.

It isn’t that Ray’s a bad guy, but he likes to think of himself as kind of “unique,” so he does these really odd things, like garnish his meals with foul-smelling “unique” spices, and putting on aftershave that’s a little too exotic for me — as in open the windows immediately exotic. He brought in this weird houseplant that was flown in from an Amazonian rainforest, which is now taking up a quarter of our living room.

I’m usually pretty chill, but I’m beginning to feel like Ray is taking over our home, and not only doesn’t he pay rent, but apparently feels he has the right to help himself to anything we have, including linens, kitchen items, and some toilet paper, which mysteriously went missing at the beginning of the big shortage.

I like and respect Josh, but this guy he’s so hooked on is not so much “unique” as weird, and I don’t like the way he’s edging further and further into our home. I want to say something to Josh, but don’t want to upset him. Any suggestions? --- NOT LOVING UNIQUE

DEAR NOT LOVING UNIQUE: It’s a delicate balance between being tolerant and being put-upon, and it sounds like the scale’s already tipped.

Since the romance is still somewhat new, your roommate may as yet be in the “love is blind” stage. If that’s the case, your next step might be to gently, and privately, break it to him that some of his new guy’s habits are not what you’re used to, and you aren’t sure how to deal with them.

Unless you’re in a position to find somewhere else to live, it might be a case of your putting up with some of the oddities. However, the disappearance of commonly-owned or purchased household items is different, and certainly worth openly bringing up, even if Ray is visiting. That way he’s been put on notice that not everything in his boyfriend’s apartment is up for grabs. If he’s becoming part of the household, he has to contribute something material to its running — other than an Amazonian wonder.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My roommate headed into the Air Force about a year and a half ago and asked if I could hold onto his stuff in the garage of my house. It’s my own home and I always have a roommate or two to help pay for the expenses of running it. I don’t mind having my old roommate’s stuff in the garage. As a matter of fact, he pays me a little each month, which works out for both of us, because it’s more money in my pocket and less than he’d be paying at a storage place.

The trouble is that he has an on-line business that still sells some of the woodwork sculptures he did before he went into the service. He’s really good at it, and I’m glad people want to buy his work. But I don’t love that whenever his mother or one of his sisters comes over to get a piece he’s sold they usually don’t let me know ahead of time and just show up. Sometimes they wake me up after I’ve done an all-nighter at work, or have people over, and at other inconvenient times. I’ve mentioned the problem to my old roommate, but either he did not pass on my request to have his family give me more notice, or if he did, they just don’t care.

I don’t want to get rude with anyone, but what else can I do to stop them from just showing up? --- NOT A WAREHOUSE MANAGER

DEAR NOT A WAREHOUSE MANAGER: Why do you think you’d have to be rude? Since you don’t know if your former roommate passed on your request to give a heads-up before someone comes over, you have every right to let them know you need to be warned beforehand; and I don’t see why you can’t do it politely.

If being nice about it doesn’t work, then you should directly and clearly address the problem with both your old roommate and his family. If they don’t get the message then, that’s when it’s time to start thinking about the next step.