DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife has been home since her job went virtual in early April. It’s worked well, since she can help cover the kids, who haven’t been in school and are only heading back two days a week when they start up again after Labor Day.

My wife is the kind of mom who likes to keep the kids busy as much as possible. She works a few hours in the morning, while I’m still home, and then takes over with the kids when I have to leave for work. From then until she gets them down to bed, it’s play/exercise time, project time, and cooking time. She’s getting to be a better and better cook, and she’s teaching the kids everything she learns, and I can see it’s good for them all.

The issue has become, though, that thanks to all the delicious food in the house all the time, I’ve gained almost 20 lbs. Because of the tag team we have established to cover the kids, that means I only get to the gym on the weekends, and that’s only when I can get into the gym when I have open time.

I don’t want to hurt my wife’s feelings, or check her in her growing skills as a cook, but there’s only so much I can eat, and that’s been too much lately. What do I do to get some balance here? --- MARRIED TO A BLOSSOMING CHEF

DEAR MARRIED TO A BLOSSOMING CHEF: I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to let your wife know that, while you enjoy what she and the kids are cooking up, it may be time to cut back on the volume of their output.

Depending on the nature of your job, possibly you could offer to bring in some of the extras to share with your coworkers.

Another option might be suggesting your wife contact local food banks or shelters to see if they accept homemade meals. I’m aware of one shelter near me that’s taken donations of both fresh and packaged foods following community events. Even if what your family would be providing wouldn’t be enough to serve a large number of diners, it might be useful to families known to the shelter.

Finally, first responders, hospital workers, and other healthcare providers in your neighborhood or town may be glad for a treat or two. My guess is they were bombarded by well-deserved goodwill for a few weeks early on in the pandemic, but perhaps not as much lately.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I grew up with a tough guy father, who did not believe in “coddling” us. We were expected to pull our weight around the house, which was a good thing, but he also did not go in for the stuff that comforts most kids. We weren’t allowed cuddle toys or nightlights in particular.

Our three-year-old daughter is truly afraid of the dark, and we have a small ballerina nightlight in her room in our house. When we visit my dad’s though, he makes a stink about us setting it up in the spare bedroom where he’s moved our old crib. The last time we were there, he went into the room after we had gone to bed and turned the light out. Two hours later, our daughter woke up screaming and crying.

At this point I do not want to have any more overnight visits in my own father’s house. My wife tries to defend him, in her way, but I don’t see this as defendable. I get “his house, his rules,” but this is our child and that should be more important than his parenting philosophy.

Are we right not taking our daughter to see her grandfather until she is old enough to sleep in a darkened room? --- NOT A TOUGH GUY DAD

DEAR NOT A TOUGH GUY DAD: That your father openly disregarded your wishes and turned off the nightlight makes me think he isn’t interested in respecting your parenting practices.

The solution may be to avoid overnight visits for the time being, or perhaps suggesting he make the trip to your house, if circumstances allow. If he can see your family in your home, under your rules, he may get a better idea of the environment your daughter is used to. Then, maybe he’ll relent, or at least concede to your continuing your daughter’s routine in his house without interference.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My roommate is one of those people who loves animals more than people. She’s also very kind and feeds stray cats in the neighborhood, which I think is fine.

What I’m not so good with is that she brings them into our house sometimes when the weather is bad. I’ve done some research on what problems can come along with strays, and I am worried the street cats will expose our own house cats to some dangerous diseases. I’ve brought this up with my roommate every time she brings a stray in, even for the night, but she doesn’t believe she’s doing any harm.

What can I do to convince her to keep her stray cat- caregiving outdoors? --- WANT TO KEEP MY CATS SAFE

DEAR WANT TO KEEP MY CATS SAFE: For starters, you should share the specific information you’ve found about communicable feline diseases with your roommate, if you haven’t already. Generalities may not be enough to convince her.

If that doesn’t make any difference, I strongly recommend having a conversation with your veterinarian to get some guidance and their take on introducing strays to house pets. Having your roommate in on the discussion would be a good idea, so that you both have the same information to work with moving forward.