DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandfather is a pretty fit guy, but sadly he ended up with heart surgery after having a heart attack the beginning of this year. I was away at school while all this was happening, but my mom kept me in the loop.

Now that I’m home, I keep seeing things about how my grandfather acts that make me think either he’s losing it or the meds he takes for his heart are whacking him out. He does things like leaving important papers out where they can get seen or lost. He keeps falling asleep during the day, when before he would never sit down until after dinner. I see that when he tries to read the newspaper or a book, he just ends up staring off into space. And he is more nervous than I ever remember him being.

Whenever I say something about this to my mom, she makes like it’s nothing and I should just let it go.

I am worried about my grandfather and don’t know what to do about it. --- CONCERNED GRANDKID

DEAR CONCERNED GRANDKID: Both heart attacks and heart surgery are both physically and emotionally traumatic, life-altering events with a whole host of aftereffects. From what I’ve seen, mental health counseling and treatment are a common part of the post-operative care plan for cardiac patients.

Check to see if your grandfather is receiving psychological support services as part of his cardiac rehab program. If not, it’s certainly something to suggest. Sadly, with all the ripple effects of the pandemic on healthcare, it’s possible your grandfather hasn’t had ready access to some of what’s usually available to those facing what he’s been going through.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Ever since I started seeing my new girlfriend my mom’s been acting weird toward me and her. At first, she said my girlfriend is “trashy” because she has a “trashy” name. I don’t even know what that means, and she can’t or won’t explain it. She has never been like this with the other women I’ve been with.

Everything my girlfriend does is wrong, but all she’s tried to do is make my mother like her, even a little bit. That only makes my mother even worse, saying my girlfriend is just sucking up to her to impress me.

None of this could be further from the truth. My girlfriend comes from a strict, very conservative family, the kind my mother would usually call a “good family”. She has a better job than I do, and is kind, respectful, and works hard.

What can I do to convince my mother she’s all wrong here? --- CAN’T PLEASE MY MOTHER

DEAR CAN’T PLEASE MY MOTHER: Maybe your mother is threatened by the new woman in your life because, unlike before, she sees something in this new relationship that’s got her thinking her little boy’s found a keeper, and Mom may not be ready to give you up just yet.

My advice would be to limit the time your mother and girlfriend are around each other for now. That way you can focus on your new relationship and what direction it’s taking. If things get serious enough with the two of you, you can worry about what’s next with Mom. Perhaps by then, she’ll at least be used to your girlfriend, if not completely accepting of her.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter went through a messy divorce nearly two years ago now. She just started dating again, and my husband and I worry about how she’ll manage a dating life with her two young children in the house. We know our daughter is level-headed and not the kind of young woman to sleep around, but I can’t imagine how you can even start a serious relationship while the kids are always in the house.

What we have talked about is offering to take the kids every other weekend, like her ex would be doing, but he moved out of state and only sees our grandchildren for a couple of weeks in the summer and on alternating holidays.

Do you think we would be overstepping our boundaries by making the offer, or would it be kind of weird? --- DON’T WANT TO BUTT IN

DEAR DON’T WANT TO BUTT IN: I don’t consider it at all strange for parents to step in and help a single mother get her social life back on track.

Even if she doesn’t use her weekends off to date, I would imagine she might greatly appreciate a bit of a break.

Speak to your daughter. You may find she’ll jump at the offer, or that she may counter it with a request for help of another kind that you may not be aware of her needing. Even if her response is a “thanks, but no thanks,” you’ll have planted the seed and given her a solid offer of support.