DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son is a very proud young man. When my father died, he left all the grandchildren a little money. My two daughters used theirs towards college, but my son used it to start a small hiking/camping tour guide business out in California. His business was booming for the first three years, then the pandemic hit and he had to lay off three of his five employees, and is now on the verge of having to take a second mortgage on his home to keep up with the bills he has to pay. He told us that he has picked up a little business, but not enough to keep him afloat much longer.

My ex-wife (his mother), my current wife, and I have all discussed what we can do to help, and we’re all willing to lend him enough to cover his bills for the next few months, until things get back to a more normal state.

So far, he has told us he doesn’t need or want our help, and to stop treating him like a little kid. He has barely spoken to us since we made the offer, and I don’t know what to do to make things better with him again. I want him to know our offer still stands, but don’t want it to be a wedge in what has always been a good relationship.

Did we do anything wrong in making our offer to help? --- JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP

DEAR JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP: I think there was no harm in extending your offer, provided you didn’t present it in such a way as to make your son believe you had no confidence in him and his abilities. Clearly, he was doing well before the pandemic, and once the economy improves and people are allowed and inclined to return to favorite pursuits, hopefully his business will pick up again.

You’ve made your offer, now its up to him to take it or leave it. Your renewing it may only fuel his resentment, misplaced or not.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandfather is a pretty fit guy, but sadly he ended up with heart surgery after having a heart attack the beginning of this year. I was away at school while all this was happening, but my mom kept me in the loop.

Now that I’m home, I keep seeing things about how my grandfather acts that make me think either he’s losing it or the meds he takes for his heart are whacking him out. He does things like leaving important papers out where they can get seen or lost. He keeps falling asleep during the day, when before he would never sit down until after dinner. I see that when he tries to read the newspaper or a book, he just ends up staring off into space. And he is more nervous than I ever remember him being.

Whenever I say something about this to my mom, she makes like it’s nothing and I should just let it go.

I am worried about my grandfather and don’t know what to do about it. --- CONCERNED GRANDKID

DEAR CONCERNED GRANDKID: Both heart attacks and heart surgery are both physically and emotionally traumatic, life-altering events with a whole host of aftereffects. From what I’ve seen, mental health counseling and treatment are a common part of the post-operative care plan for cardiac patients.

Check to see if your grandfather is receiving psychological support services as part of his cardiac rehab program. If not, it’s certainly something to suggest. Sadly, with all the ripple effects of the pandemic on healthcare, it’s possible your grandfather hasn’t had ready access to some of what’s usually available to those facing what he’s been going through.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Ever since I started seeing my new girlfriend my mom’s been acting weird toward me and her. At first, she said my girlfriend is “trashy” because she has a “trashy” name. I don’t even know what that means, and she can’t or won’t explain it. She has never been like this with the other women I’ve been with.

Everything my girlfriend does is wrong, but all she’s tried to do is make my mother like her, even a little bit. That only makes my mother even worse, saying my girlfriend is just sucking up to her to impress me.

None of this could be further from the truth. My girlfriend comes from a strict, very conservative family, the kind my mother would usually call a “good family”. She has a better job than I do, and is kind, respectful, and works hard.

What can I do to convince my mother she’s all wrong here? --- CAN’T PLEASE MY MOTHER

DEAR CAN’T PLEASE MY MOTHER: Maybe your mother is threatened by the new woman in your life because, unlike before, she sees something in this new relationship that’s got her thinking her little boy’s found a keeper, and Mom may not be ready to give you up just yet.

My advice would be to limit the time your mother and girlfriend are around each other for now. That way you can focus on your new relationship and what direction it’s taking. If things get serious enough with the two of you, you can worry about what’s next with Mom. Perhaps by then, she’ll at least be used to your girlfriend, if not completely accepting of her.