DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We knew going into our new home in an older neighborhood that we shared a driveway with our next-door neighbors. They recently had their half redone in concrete, which we can’t afford to do with our half, which does need some work. Our neighbors tried to talk us into going in with them, but we couldn’t swing it right now, especially since we had to have work done on our roof and plumbing this past summer.

We know it doesn’t look great to have the two different surfaces right next to each other, but there’s nothing we can do about it for now. Our neighbors have been cold shouldering us when we run into them getting into or out of our car. I get they’re disappointed, but you would think that as an older couple, they would understand not everyone has the same amount of ready cash. Why can’t they just get over it? --- HALF A DRIVEWAY OWNER

DEAR HALF A DRIVEWAY OWNER: Even though you were upfront with your neighbors about your inability to match their funds for an entire driveway redo, they may feel their property value is affected by the current appearance of the driveway; or they could be bothered by its aesthetics for their own sake. It might also be they have the perception that you’re just being cheap, which may be the hardest assumption for them to overcome.

It’s never pleasant when there’s tension between near neighbors, and perhaps the best thing you can do is to let it go, at least for a while. Best case, they stop freezing you out; worst case, they continue to give you the cold shoulder, which is something you may just have to get used to.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When I came out last year, it actually seemed to genuinely surprise my dad and stepmother, although my mother told me she’d figured it out years ago. All my parents have been kind and supportive, but my dad and stepmother are going overboard to let me know just how cool they are with me and my boyfriend. It’s gotten kind of embarrassing, and I know they don’t mean to be causing me any discomfort. They just aren’t sure how to let me know they’re okay with it.

Without hurting their feelings or embarrassing them, how do I let them know their overboard support is a problem? --- MY FOLKS ARE TOO ENTHUSIASTIC

DEAR MY FOLKS ARE TOO ENTHUSIASTIC: It sounds like your father and stepmother may still be processing a new situation that’s old news to you. I’d say give them a little time to figure out that you’re who you’ve always been, and hopefully things will be less strained for them.

In the meantime, and perhaps as a way to get things back on a less stressful footing, you might want to gently, but directly level with them, expressing how grateful you are that they’re so accepting and supportive, but that you really don’t want to be treated any differently by them than how they’ve always treated you.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I always get to be the grumpy grandpa, but it drives me nuts that my oldest grandkids never pick up after themselves when they visit. They are 10 and 13, and that seems plenty old enough to know better. My wife, who is their step-grandma and always feeling like she needs to win points, just goes along with providing maid service.

Whenever I say something, the boys tell me they don’t have to do such-and-such at home. I know their parents well enough to know this is only, at best, half true. My daughter-in-law assigns them jobs and if they want their allowance, they have to do what they are assigned to do.

So, if they can do it at their house, why not at mine? --- FORCED TO BE GRUMPY

DEAR FORCED TO BE GRUMPY: I can understand why your wife wants to score points with your grandsons, but it seems that if you and she don’t present a united front around the boys, they’ll continue to get away with not being responsible for their own messes.

My advice is to sit the kids down as soon as they arrive for their next visit and lay out your house rules. You wife should definitely be there, and if possible, so should at least one of your grandkids’ parents. Putting everyone publicly on the same page, at least to start with, might help get the point across that there’s absolutely no maid service at Grandpa’s.