DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife has always hated her nose and been self-conscious of it since she was a teenager. I have never had a problem with her nose, but have always hated our kitchen. Her grandfather just left her $5000, and now she wants to spend it on a nose job, and I want to put it towards a kitchen remodel that we already have some money put aside for.

Doesn’t it make more sense to put the cash toward something that will help with our home now and when we go to sell it in a few years, instead of blowing it all on some point of vanity. --- LOVE HER NOSE

DEAR LOVE HER NOSE: What you see as petty vanity may be a legitimate self-image problem for your wife. I get your point of practicality, but I also think you need to seriously consider your wife’s happiness, making sure you take into account all aspects of cosmetic surgery, including potential dangers and benefits.

Ultimately, if the money was left to her alone, its hers to spend; and while as her life partner, it’s reasonable for you to have a say, the final decision is hers.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We are very fortunate in that my husband makes enough money at his job for us to be able to stay on top of our monthly budget and even put some money away each month. For the first three years we were married, even after our daughter was born, I was also working fulltime, and while the money was really good, the stress and crazy-long commute were getting to me, especially considering I didn’t love my job. I felt like I barely had a life, since by the time I got home and we had a late dinner, there was no time with our baby, and there wasn’t much time for me and my husband during the week.

Since he got a big raise and a promotion nearly a year ago, my husband works longer days and more weekends. So we decided that it would be fine for me to stay home, take care of our baby, run the house, and have more time as a family by working around my husband’s schedule. We are also looking at adding to our family in the next year or two, and I would like to be able to continue being home fulltime, at least while our kids are little.

We really thought a lot before making this move, and we are at peace with it. My mother, however, thinks I’ve made a horrible mistake to give up my career. She knew I wasn’t happy in it, and that I always planned on being home with kids when they came along anyway. Almost every time we talk, or she and I get together, she hammers me with how she was able to do it all and is now a CEO with a big bank account and all the trimmings. She just doesn’t get what makes her happy was definitely not making me happy.

What do I do to convince my mom that there is no shame and no sellout to being a fulltime mother and homemaker? --- HAPPY AT HOME

DEAR HAPPY AT HOME: It sounds like you’re one of many young people who’ve decided to step out of the traditional work world to follow a different path. For some, “having it all” means finding your own balance, in your own way, outside of generally accepted and expected choices.

If your mom has always had a heavy focus on her career, it’s not surprising she has trouble understanding where you’re coming from. If you can demonstrate over time that you’re keeping busy and mentally challenged — which hopefully you are, for your own sake — she may relent. If not, work on agreeing to disagree as you each do what makes you happy.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My new stepmother is never wrong according to my father. Could it be she’s nearly 15 years younger? I swear she lives to bait me, and whenever I call her out in my father’s hearing, she comes up with an, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I honestly didn’t mean to upset you.” And my dad falls for it every time.

Her latest thing is telling me every time I stop in how slutty my girlfriend is. She’s only met her three times, and it was a quick meet each time, but she is convinced my girlfriend is only after me because my dad has some money. That has nothing to do with me. I earn my own money, live on my own, and never ask for anything from either him or my stepmonster.

Is it worth having a heart-to-heart with my dad to let him know what a b___h he married? --- CAN’T STAND THE WOMAN

DEAR CAN’T STAND THE WOMAN: Like it or not — and clearly you don’t — this woman is your father’s choice, and sharing your opinion of her might only drive a wedge between you and your dad. So long as she makes him happy and does him no harm, get used to the idea you’ll just have to put up with her.

To avoid being around your stepmother too much, you might consider working in time with your dad when she isn’t in the picture. Let him know how much the one-on-one time means to you.

Most certainly, I also think you need to stick up for your girlfriend. Whenever possible limit her exposure to your stepmother. Knowing that badmouthing someone special in your life upsets you only gives her more ammunition to get under your skin.