DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend has been wanting to take me away for a special weekend for a long time now. I couldn’t get off work for Valentine’s weekend last year when he first wanted to go somewhere, and this year I am not comfortable traveling for safety reasons, but also especially since if my boss finds out, I’ll have to miss two weeks at work for self-quarantine, because my company follows our state’s COVID-19 recommendations.

My boyfriend thinks I am being a big baby, since he says so long as we are careful, keep our masks on and social distance when not in our hotel room, we should be fine. He also thinks I shouldn’t report leaving the state to my company, which if they find out I kept it a secret, could cost me my job or at least my good standing.

He says that if I love him, I’ll take a chance, and he has more than hinted that if I am not willing to risk this for him, I must not love him enough to be with him, and he sees no reason we shouldn’t breakup.

Am I wrong to stick to my request we postpone the big weekend getaway until it’s safer to do it? --- TOO MUCH TO RISK

DEAR TOO MUCH TO RISK: A lot of life has had to be postponed these days, as your boyfriend must be aware. I think he’s the one being selfish in this case, and you can easily turn the tables on his thinking by saying if he truly loves you, he’d respect your not feeling good about this particular getaway at this particular time.

I believe you’re right to follow what you know and feel to be the correct thing to do. Besides, I can’t imagine you’d have a very good time if you spent the days away worrying about potential consequences of the trip for both your health and your job.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife has always hated her nose and been self-conscious of it since she was a teenager. I have never had a problem with her nose, but have always hated our kitchen. Her grandfather just left her $5000, and now she wants to spend it on a nose job, and I want to put it towards a kitchen remodel that we already have some money put aside for.

Doesn’t it make more sense to put the cash toward something that will help with our home now and when we go to sell it in a few years, instead of blowing it all on some point of vanity. --- LOVE HER NOSE

DEAR LOVE HER NOSE: What you see as petty vanity may be a legitimate self-image problem for your wife. I get your point of practicality, but I also think you need to seriously consider your wife’s happiness, making sure you take into account all aspects of cosmetic surgery, including potential dangers and benefits.

Ultimately, if the money was left to her alone, its hers to spend; and while as her life partner, it’s reasonable for you to have a say, the final decision is hers.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We are very fortunate in that my husband makes enough money at his job for us to be able to stay on top of our monthly budget and even put some money away each month. For the first three years we were married, even after our daughter was born, I was also working fulltime, and while the money was really good, the stress and crazy-long commute were getting to me, especially considering I didn’t love my job. I felt like I barely had a life, since by the time I got home and we had a late dinner, there was no time with our baby, and there wasn’t much time for me and my husband during the week.

Since he got a big raise and a promotion nearly a year ago, my husband works longer days and more weekends. So we decided that it would be fine for me to stay home, take care of our baby, run the house, and have more time as a family by working around my husband’s schedule. We are also looking at adding to our family in the next year or two, and I would like to be able to continue being home fulltime, at least while our kids are little.

We really thought a lot before making this move, and we are at peace with it. My mother, however, thinks I’ve made a horrible mistake to give up my career. She knew I wasn’t happy in it, and that I always planned on being home with kids when they came along anyway. Almost every time we talk, or she and I get together, she hammers me with how she was able to do it all and is now a CEO with a big bank account and all the trimmings. She just doesn’t get what makes her happy was definitely not making me happy.

What do I do to convince my mom that there is no shame and no sellout to being a fulltime mother and homemaker? --- HAPPY AT HOME

DEAR HAPPY AT HOME: It sounds like you’re one of many young people who’ve decided to step out of the traditional work world to follow a different path. For some, “having it all” means finding your own balance, in your own way, outside of generally accepted and expected choices.

If your mom has always had a heavy focus on her career, it’s not surprising she has trouble understanding where you’re coming from. If you can demonstrate over time that you’re keeping busy and mentally challenged — which hopefully you are, for your own sake — she may relent. If not, work on agreeing to disagree as you each do what makes you happy.