DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My daughter-in-law is a bright, sweet, loving young woman, but she tends to jump on the latest-greatest cooking/diet fads. Good for her, I say, except when I have to eat it too, which has been the case for the past six months, while I have been living with my son’s family waiting to move into a new condo. It’s been under construction for nearly a year, and I sold my house, anticipating I would have moved in long before now. Construction is behind, and so what was to be a two month at the most visit, has turned into a longer-term houseguest arrangement.

I enjoy being with my son and his wife and we all seem to get along well. I even find I can help out some around the house, including paying them rent and doing little things, like cooking dinner for them, since I get back from work earlier than they do most days. Only now that my daughter-in-law’s gone vegan, there isn’t much I can do beyond cutting things up and putting them aside until she’s home. It’s also not my kind of eating. I’m far from being a complete carnivore, but I do like a varied diet, and since she’s now all vegan, all the time, I try to have a more substantial lunch at work than I’d usually have to keep from being hungry later in the day, especially after having just eaten dinner. I also have a stash of snack food in my borrowed bedroom, which is not something I like having to do.

I know my son is as thrilled about this latest meal plan as I am, and although he has said nothing, I suspect he too is filling up before heading home for the day.

I think he should say something to his wife about how unpopular this particular diet is around here. Both my son and I have done research on veganism and compared notes. What we found is disturbing. If not properly done, a vegan diet can be dangerous for the dieters.

Am I right to encourage my son to step up and tell his wife what we’re feeling? I learned long ago to never be the meddling in-law, and this feels a bit borderline to me. --- HUNGRY HOUSEGUEST

DEAR HUNGRY HOUSEGUEST: The smart practice is nearly always, as you say, to be the non-interfering in-law, but I can see why you have concerns. While I’m all for healthy habits, after doing a little of my own research, it looks to me like vegan diets can be a real challenge to get right for the dieter.

Even though you and your son are on the same page, I think you may be better off letting him do the opinion-sharing within the privacy of his and his wife’s relationship.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My parents will be married for 40 years in September. My brother and two sisters and I and our significant others want to do something really special for them to celebrate, but we can’t agree on the best way to do that.

I am the youngest and still working on paying off student loans. My oldest sister is a psychologist and so is her husband, so they are really comfortable. The rest of us are not nearly as well-off, but just as anxious to do something nice for Mom and Dad.

It has come down to paying for a trip to California so they can see and stay with some old friends and a close cousin, or giving them a nice check for whatever they want to use it for. My oldest sister thinks she should be in charge, and is pushing for the cash, and what she is suggesting we each put in is a lot more than the rest of us can comfortably do right now. And not doing it makes some of us feel like we’re just being cheap.

I and my next oldest sister think the trip would be something they would really enjoy and would not likely treat themselves to. We priced it out and a four-way split, especially with little or no hotel expenses, is something we can all easily afford a quarter of. Our brother, as usual, refuses to tell us what he’s voting for, which we keep telling him is not very helpful.

How do we settle this? --- VOTING FOR THE TRIP

DEAR VOTING FOR THE TRIP: I’m thinking it’s up to you and your next oldest sister to convince your brother that the trip is the way to go, since that’s where your comfort level rests. Three votes to one might carry the day, especially if you emphasize everyone else’s budget constraints to your big sister.

Of course, she could argue that once they have the cash gift, your parents could opt to spend it on a trip. A counter to that is that “something else” always seems comes up where extra money could be handy, and there’s no guarantee the gift would be put towards something fun and memory-making — especially if your parents are practical by nature.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know my dad is not a fan of my boyfriend, even though we’ve been together nearly three years. We are talking about getting married, once all the pandemic insanity goes away. My dad knows we are serious and probably going to get married within the next two years.

Whenever I talk to my dad, either on the phone or in person, he NEVER asks about my boyfriend. When I visit home with my boyfriend, my dad barely talks to him. He is not openly rude, but it is obvious how he feels about my boyfriend. It is like he thinks if he ignores his existence, he will just go away.

I tell him he is being bratty, and my boyfriend is going to be his son-in-law someday, so he needs to get over it. He never acted like this to my old boyfriend.

What more can I do the get through to my dad that his behavior is not only mean, but is making me think I want to have nothing to do with him if he is going to act like this to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with? --- MY DAD IS BEING A BRAT

DEAR MY DAD IS BEING A BRAT: I agree that your father’s behavior comes off as less than mature. However, you didn’t mention if he’s shared why he apparently dislikes your boyfriend so much. Sometimes, people without emotional attachments see personality elements or behaviors that are obvious to them, but not so much to someone in love. It’s possible your father at least believes he has a reason to dislike your boyfriend, based on something he’s observed, or just good old-fashioned intuition. If you’ve never openly asked your dad why he doesn’t like your guy, it may be time to do so.

Barring any tangible or reasonable observational concerns, it’s possible your father is in the “no man is good enough for my little girl” mental mode. If he never behaved like this in the past, it may be because this time he sees you’ve found your keeper, and is not ready to lose you to another man. If this is the case, time may be your greatest ally if it gives your dad a chance to get used to, and hopefully, eventually accept your choice.