DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My cousin and her fiancé postponed their wedding due to COVID. It was supposed to be last August. In the official postponement announcement they sent out, they said a new date was still pending. I got that card, but in the past couple of weeks my mom and stepdad, and my other cousin and her husband got save-the-new-date cards, but I never did. I don’t know if it was an oversight, or if the card got lost, or what, but if she really doesn’t want me at her wedding, that hurts. She had even told me the date in November they were about to confirm when I talked to her a couple months ago. Does she think that served as my official notice, or am I being cut from the guest list? I thought we were closer than this.

How do I figure out if I’m getting upset over something real, or it’s just an oversight? --- THOUGHT I’D BE INVITED

DEAR THOUGHT I’D BE INVITED: You might want to wait a bit before getting upset about not receiving a save-the-new-date announcement. The wedding isn’t until the fall, and who knows what can happen between now and then.

Taking into consideration you were sent a postponement notice, and your cousin spoke to you specifically about when they were hoping to reschedule, I’d figure chances are good you’re still on the guestlist.

Although it isn’t exactly Emily Post proper, it’s possible, as you suggested, your cousin does indeed consider your conversation with her as standing in for an official pre-invitation announcement.

Finally, there are still plenty of ongoing issues with mail delivery. For instance, I’m still receiving first class mail postmarked two or more weeks earlier, often from within my own or a neighboring state.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter, who along with our grandson, lives with us, just told us she is expecting, and under other circumstances, we would be thrilled.

Unfortunately, the man who got her pregnant is the same one who cheated on her, basically threw her and her three-year-old son (not his) out of his house so he could, “Be free to explore other options,” and one time left our little grandson locked up in a dog crate so he could take a shower, and later laughed about it when he told our daughter and some of his friends.

Our daughter told us she and our grandson will be moving back in with her ex before the new baby arrives.

Not only do we fear for our daughter, but we know how this man is with a toddler. What will he be like with a newborn? What do we say to our daughter to keep her from moving back in with this loser? --- WORRIED PARENTS/grandPARENTS

DEAR WORRIED PARENTS/grandPARENTS: I’m guessing that your daughter is a legal adult. As such, she’s free to make her own decisions regarding herself and her children.

That said, as parents and grandparents, you’re entitled to your opinions and beliefs. Being a dad means infinitely more than fathering a child, and it doesn’t sound like your daughter’s boyfriend currently shows much promise of being a competent and trustworthy caregiver. Based on his history as a babysitter, I think you need to openly share your doubts with your daughter about how physically and emotionally safe she, your grandson, and future grandchild would be in this man’s home.

Hopefully, appealing to her as a mother responsible for the wellbeing of her children will give her second thoughts about the suitability of her proposed return to his place. Also, if her continuing to stay at your home is something you’re willing and able to offer, I would certainly try to make that as appealing an option as possible, at least for the time being.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We have a three bedroom apartment. We sleep in one bedroom. We keep the second for guests, and the smallest was set up as a gaming room for my husband. I keep very few things in the closet there, and he has the entire rest of the space to himself. It’s where we have our second biggest TV and a special expensive gaming chair for him. It’s also large enough for him to have a second player in the room with him.

What I don’t get is why he has to take over our living room as well. I know he likes the bigger 4K screen. He puts on his headphones, so I don’t have to listen to the games, but I find it distracting with him shouting at the screen or having conversations with other remote players. It also prevents me from being able to enjoy some time watching my favorite shows and movies while hanging out in the living room.

When I say something to him, he kind of laughs it off. I am not sure he gets how much this sometimes bothers me. I’ve gone so far as to disconnect things “accidentally” when I am cleaning, which also doesn’t seem to make a difference to him.

I do not want to be a b about this, but I want to enjoy some downtime in our living room too.

Why won’t he get the hints, even when they are more than hints? --- GAMER’S WIFE

DEAR GAMER’S WIFE: Your husband may see his being in the living room the same time as you are as a way to simultaneously be with you and enjoy his gaming.

Perhaps you’ve been a little too subtle about wanting your turn to enjoy your big screen and the room where it sits. The time may have come to sit down with your husband and establish a clear schedule for when you’d like to have your screen time. It doesn’t seem unreasonable, especially since he has a designated area for his gaming. It would probably also help if you don’t attempt to ban him from pursuing his hobby outside of his gaming room. Compromise is key in most aspects of living with someone, and since it sounds like you don’t have a problem with him occasionally commandeering the common space, why not let him?