DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our youngest son still lives at home. He pays us rent, usually within a week of when it is due. He is also good about helping out with incidental expenses around the house, especially if it has to do with the apartment we made in our basement, first for his older siblings, and which he now uses.

He is a good and generally responsible young man. He makes okay money, and has even managed to put a little away in a savings account he started back when he was in high school.

What worries me, and he just does not seem to comprehend why, is that because he doesn’t have good bill paying habits, his credit score is not what it should be. As a matter of fact, it has gone down nearly 70 points in the past two months because of missed or late payments.

My ex-husband, our son’s girlfriend, and I have all offered to help him figure out how to stay on top of his bills. He refuses to set-up automatic on-line payments, which I can kind of see, because he works for a modest base pay and quarterly commissions, which are usually good money and make up the bulk of his income. However, the commissions can post anywhere in the payout month, and he doesn’t want anything to bounce if the payment comes due before the commission is deposited and clears.

He and his girlfriend are starting to talk about buying a place of their own, and since she is working fulltime on her masters, she can only work parttime, and has never yet been in a situation to build decent credit on her own.

What arguments can you suggest to help get my son on track with his bill paying before he attempts to buy a house? We are out of ideas. --- HAVEN’T GOT THE ANSWER

DEAR HAVEN’T GOT THE ANSWER: From what you said, it sounds like at least part of your son’s bill paying troubles stem from a cashflow situation over which he has little to no control.

One thing he might do is to put some of his savings into his regular checking account to boost its balance, and then immediately replace that amount with his bonus payments when they come through.

That’s just one idea, and since neither I nor any of the people currently advising him are experts in this field, he should consider sitting down with someone more knowledgeable in financial management to see what strategies can be offered to help him stay on top of his cash flow issues.

If your son has his money in a brick-and-mortar bank, perhaps he could make an appointment to speak with one of the bank’s customer service representatives to get better, more specific direction in managing his finances both now and in the future, especially if he’s considering applying for a mortgage.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My cousin and her fiancé postponed their wedding due to COVID. It was supposed to be last August. In the official postponement announcement they sent out, they said a new date was still pending. I got that card, but in the past couple of weeks my mom and stepdad, and my other cousin and her husband got save-the-new-date cards, but I never did. I don’t know if it was an oversight, or if the card got lost, or what, but if she really doesn’t want me at her wedding, that hurts. She had even told me the date in November they were about to confirm when I talked to her a couple months ago. Does she think that served as my official notice, or am I being cut from the guest list? I thought we were closer than this.

How do I figure out if I’m getting upset over something real, or it’s just an oversight? --- THOUGHT I’D BE INVITED

DEAR THOUGHT I’D BE INVITED: You might want to wait a bit before getting upset about not receiving a save-the-new-date announcement. The wedding isn’t until the fall, and who knows what can happen between now and then.

Taking into consideration you were sent a postponement notice, and your cousin spoke to you specifically about when they were hoping to reschedule, I’d figure chances are good you’re still on the guestlist.

Although it isn’t exactly Emily Post proper, it’s possible, as you suggested, your cousin does indeed consider your conversation with her as standing in for an official pre-invitation announcement.

Finally, there are still plenty of ongoing issues with mail delivery. For instance, I’m still receiving first class mail postmarked two or more weeks earlier, often from within my own or a neighboring state.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter, who along with our grandson, lives with us, just told us she is expecting, and under other circumstances, we would be thrilled.

Unfortunately, the man who got her pregnant is the same one who cheated on her, basically threw her and her three-year-old son (not his) out of his house so he could, “Be free to explore other options,” and one time left our little grandson locked up in a dog crate so he could take a shower, and later laughed about it when he told our daughter and some of his friends.

Our daughter told us she and our grandson will be moving back in with her ex before the new baby arrives.

Not only do we fear for our daughter, but we know how this man is with a toddler. What will he be like with a newborn? What do we say to our daughter to keep her from moving back in with this loser? --- WORRIED PARENTS/grandPARENTS

DEAR WORRIED PARENTS/grandPARENTS: I’m guessing that your daughter is a legal adult. As such, she’s free to make her own decisions regarding herself and her children.

That said, as parents and grandparents, you’re entitled to your opinions and beliefs. Being a dad means infinitely more than fathering a child, and it doesn’t sound like your daughter’s boyfriend currently shows much promise of being a competent and trustworthy caregiver. Based on his history as a babysitter, I think you need to openly share your doubts with your daughter about how physically and emotionally safe she, your grandson, and future grandchild would be in this man’s home.

Hopefully, appealing to her as a mother responsible for the wellbeing of her children will give her second thoughts about the suitability of her proposed return to his place. Also, if her continuing to stay at your home is something you’re willing and able to offer, I would certainly try to make that as appealing an option as possible, at least for the time being.