DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My late father-in-law was a career firefighter. For all the years he was on the job, my mother-in-law listened to the dispatch scanner so she would know when her husband was going out on calls and what was happening during them.

My husband has followed in his father’s footsteps and is an EMT/firefighter in the same city where his dad worked for nearly 30 years. While I don’t have a scanner, I do sometimes listen to calls through an app, and as fascinating as it can be, it can also be stressful. I once sat up nearly all night listening to a call that took out an entire block of rowhouses after one of them caught on fire. That was kind of it for me. Every time I heard my husband’s truck referred to, I wondered how much danger he was personally in. I know it goes with the territory, but I decided I can’t do the TMI thing all the time.

Now, with her son on the job, my mother-in-law has her scanner on not just when my husband is on duty, but constantly. I know she listens to it sometimes to keep up with her husband’s old station, but mostly to know what’s happening with her son. I understand her wanting to know, but I see how stressed she sometimes gets when I visit her without my husband, which I do when he’s on duty every now and then. She never says anything in front of him, but she’ll give me a blow-by-blow description of what was happening on a call. I’ve said things to her like, “You should turn that thing off so you can get some rest,” but she said she just can’t. It’s like she’s addicted or something.

I haven’t said anything about this to my husband, but I think maybe I should. Maybe, he can get his mom to back off being such a monitor junkie. Do you think this would help? --- CONCERNED DIL

DEAR CONCERNED DIL: There are certain professions that ask a lot of spouses and other family members. Often, what happens on the job isn’t something that those who work in certain fields want to bring home, even though it might help to share it with someone they love. Some spouses roll with being left in the dark, figuring it may be for the best. Others want to be more informed about what their wife or husband is facing, especially on tough days.

Although limiting scanner sessions works for you, it may be that your mother-in-law finds it easier to be in the loop through her monitoring of calls.

You can mention your worries to your husband, but my guess is that since this is what he grew up with, he has a good idea of what makes his mom tick and keeps her going.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I hooked up with one of my coworkers a few weeks ago. Since then we started spending more time together, and plan to continue seeing each other.

Although there is technically a company no dating policy, other people I know of have had relationships with one another within our office. So far I have not seen it enforced.

I share a workspace with an older gossipy woman, who thinks she is cute hinting at the thing I have with our coworker. I think the no enforcing the no dating policy has happened so far because people were not advertising what was going on between them. No PDAs and the such at work.

Now I am afraid my office mate will continue her teasing of me around the wrong people, and both my now boyfriend and I will either get fired or at least be forced to go underground, and that would only make us more worried about getting “caught.”

What can we do to keep my office mate from blabbing? Things are going well with my new relationship and I want to keep it that way. --- WORK WITH A BIGMOUTH

DEAR WORK WITH A BIGMOUTH: There are often good reasons for companies having no dating rules on the books, usually to help protect employees from different levels from exploitation and harassment. It may be that your company has turned a blind eye to relationships between staff members on the same or similar levels, where no one can use the relationship as leverage for advancement or harm, especially should things go sour.

It could be worth your being politely honest with your office mate and letting her know you and your boyfriend want to keep your private lives private. People love to gossip, and a romance is big time fodder. Even though word of your relationship might still get around, if your office mate feels like she’s part of the secret, she may have more of a stake in keeping it.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: At first I thought it was my imagination, but now I know it isn’t me. A few times after I got together with my former co-worker and friend, I noticed something went missing from my bag.

We’ve been having lunch together every two or three months, lately just at a local place with a lot of outdoor seating. I used to ask her to watch my bag when I ran inside to use the restroom, and later, when I looked for my lipstick or mascara, and one time my tampons, they weren’t there.

I don’t get it, personally. But, I also don’t want to lose a friendship over some small items disappearing, but I also worry next time it’ll be something more valuable. I’ve started keeping my handbag with me at all times when we’re together, but thinking about what I know she’s done in the past makes me wonder if I want to continue seeing her in the future.

Do I confront her, or just let it go and keep taking precautions? --- MY FRIEND HAS STICKY FINGERS

DEAR MY FRIEND HAS STICKY FINGERS: Since you have no way of proving that your friend snagged the items from your bag, there’s little point in accusing her of having taken them now, well after the fact. The only reason to do so would be if you’re planning to attempt a sort of one-person intervention, which may or may not be a good idea.

You already seem to have a handle on your two most practical main options — back off from the relationship, or continue to guard your belongings.

As I see it, it comes down to your level of comfort with someone you feel you can’t trust. Suspicion and mistrust, even if they’re in the background, aren’t the best foundations for a healthy friendship.