DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Ever since I started my job working at a funeral home, my boyfriend has been acting a little weird around me. He won’t say it, but I think he’s grossed out by what I now do fulltime.

I’ve tried explaining to him that most of what I do is helping out with arrangements, serving as a host at viewings, and handling logistics on funeral days. I have nothing to do with the preparation of the deceased for the viewing, beyond having to sometimes transport them to the funeral home.

Still, it seems to be bothering him, and that’s becoming a problem, because I happen to like my work. I feel I have the right kind of personality for dealing with the loved ones, and both funeral directors have told me how well I’m doing. I make good money, have generally decent hours, except if I’m needed to collect the deceased during the overnight, which has only happened once so far.

How do I make my boyfriend less freaked by my new job? I can see this becoming a career, and I do not want to have to choose between him and the work that gives me more fulfillment than any other job I’ve ever had. --- MY JOB IS NOT GROSS

DEAR MY JOB IS NOT GROSS: It’s fairly normal for some people to be squeamish about death, especially if they have limited experience dealing with it. Personally, I applaud your willingness to enter a field that often suffers from a bevy of misconceptions.

If your bosses are okay with his doing so, perhaps it might help if you invited your boyfriend to visit you at the funeral parlor at a time when there are no viewings taking place. It might help him realize it is, at its core, just a business, which in this case happens to provide an important service.

Whatever you can do to demystify and normalize your role at the funeral home may hopefully open the door to your boyfriend becoming reconciled to your potential career choice.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: While I don’t do it just to be fawned over and thanked, I do think it would be the right thing to do for my son and daughter-in-law to at least say, “Thank you,” after I’ve babysat their triplets. I realize how much work it is for them to have three toddlers running around, and I am glad I am able to help, and even more, to keep up with them when they are at my house or when I take them to the neighborhood playground.

I love the kids and love having them around, but never once have their parents said or done anything to let me know they appreciate having a break. They seem to see it as they are doing me a favor, giving me time with my grandchildren and giving me something to do.

Actually, I have plenty to do, and although they may not believe it, I do not choose to identify myself as simply a grandmother, who exists solely for their convenience.

I realize I sound like a self-centered griper, but I had hoped I raised my own son to be a grateful person. Am I wrong in wanting some acknowledgment for helping out? --- JUST WANT A THANK YOU SOMETIMES

DEAR JUST WANT A THANK YOU SOMETIMES: It may be your son and daughter-in-law truly believe they’re doing you the favor, and so see no reason to express their appreciation. However, I agree with you that being thanked once in a while would not be in the least out of place. The trouble is, I’m not sure how you’d go about directly letting them know you’re feeling unappreciated without coming off as being a bit whiny; and refusing to take the kids might make you seem petulant.

Perhaps an alternative is to be slower to agree to their requests for babysitting. If you need to “check your calendar” before saying yes, they might get the idea you’re not sitting home waiting to be called upon for grandma duty.

Hopefully, displays of gratitude for your help will come. In the meantime it may be better to focus on the good you’re doing for your grandchildren and the satisfaction you get from being an active part of their lives.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Next month will be the first anniversary of my grandfather’s death. Because of COVID, there was no proper funeral at the time.

Now that things are changing, my step-grandmother wants to hold a big party in his honor, but my grandmother, who was my grandfather’s first wife, doesn’t want any part of it, even though she’s already been told she’ll be invited. Everyone knows Grandpa left Grandma for my step-grandmother, so a lot of my family members are already saying they won’t go to anything my step-grandmother plans.

For those of us on the fence, the situation is causing problems throughout the family, especially since my grandpa and his second wife were only married for about ten years, but he and my grandma were together for over 30, so most of the people who would be at the proposed party are most likely going to be from the time of the second marriage.

I think we should do something to honor my grandfather’s memory that doesn’t involve everyone being stuck together somewhere, trying to pretend we all want to socialize with a woman many don’t like, and her friends we don’t know.

My sister and I thought a separate event with just those from our family and some of my grandfather’s old friends would be a good idea.

What would you think? --- WANT TO KEEP THE PEACE

DEAR WANT TO KEEP THE PEACE: Separate memorials may not be a bad idea, if it’s a way to keep the peace and honor the memory of a man who had two different social circles. It doesn’t seem likely that anything positive would be accomplished by forcing people from different camps to be thrown together, even for a few hours.

Since you already know what your step-grandmother is proposing, before making alternate plans, I strongly suggest you talk to your grandmother to see what, if anything, she has in mind. She may prefer to find her own, more private way to deal with your grandfather’s memory, which might not involve any kind of public event. If that’s the case, then it falls to other close survivors, like your sister and yourself, to decide how you want to celebrate your grandfather’s life.