DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know kids grow up and test the waters around grownups. That is what happened with my own and my husband’s. But after not seeing my daughter’s and my husband’s son’s children since before the pandemic, we were both shocked to see how different the four children were from the last time we were all together. I am not talking about pre-teens becoming teenagers. These kids are all under 10, and they went from being sweet, fun, and kind to being, frankly, a little bratty. They talk back, just take whatever they want, use words I know their parents don’t approve, and just drop their things wherever they care to, and don’t pick them up, even when we ask them to.

I know, well at least I hope, this is from the pandemic isolation, but do we put up with the petulance and say nothing in the hope that things will soon improve as they return to normal? --- FRUSTRATED GRANDMA

DEAR FRUSTRATED GRANDMA: I think you’re on target with your theory that the unusual circumstances created by the pandemic are most likely piggybacking on the natural tendency of kids to test authority figures. There’s certainly plenty being written and discussed about the effects of the many months of isolation most of us endured. If it’s made adults forget how to act around people outside their own homes, it makes sense to me that kids, who are still mastering all the necessary social skills, would be particularly impacted by a lack of using them.

I’d try a combination of patience and firmness. Boundaries need to be reestablished, and expected behaviors need to be clearly explained, as a way to remind your grandkids that it’s your house, your rules. It doesn’t have to be roughly done or loud, it just needs to be consistent.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I recently started treatments to help me get pregnant, since I have some health issues that can interfere with conception. There is only one OB/GYN practice in my area that offers the specialized care I need.

A lot of my treatments are very time sensitive, and I find myself battling with my OB/GYN’s front office staff to get necessary appointments and services booked. I also seem to have to leave multiple messages for my doctor and her nurse before I get a response. I don’t know if they are getting the messages I leave the first or second time.

The front office people don’t seem to get how important this is to me, and how difficult it can be for me to have to make multiple calls a day around my work schedule.

Normally, I am not a complainer, but I have so much at stake in this case. I want to complain to the head of the office, but I am afraid it might backfire, and I’ll get even less cooperation.

Is it worth the risk to get the care I think I am entitled to, or could I just screw things up worse for myself? --- TRYING TO BE A PATIENT PATIENT

DEAR TRYING TO BE A PATIENT PATIENT: It’s often hard to understand how something of vital importance to us is all in a day’s work for the people we’re counting on for assistance or support. However, that doesn’t mean you should accept what you consider substandard care from either the professional or support staff at a doctor’s office.

If it’s a matter of believing that the front office gate-keepers aren’t getting your messages where they need to go, you might be able to back up your phone calls with emails left directly for your provider and/or the scheduler via a patient portal or other electronic avenue. Although these too are possibly screened by someone other than the provider, there’s at least a chance of getting a direct response when phone calling isn’t doing the trick.

If that doesn’t work, I’ve found that polite persistence will often get you further, in the long run, than angry complaining, even if you find you need to take your concerns “to the top.” Often the head of support services is your best bet for getting issues ironed out, and you shouldn’t fear repercussions, especially if you avoid finger-pointing and name-dropping.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I recently adopted a dog from our local pound. When I got him, I learned a little about his history, like that he was not treated all that well, and that while they couldn’t give me any details, it sounds like it wasn’t a good start for my new pup.

My dog is as gentle as can be, but I think his last owner, the one who didn’t treat him too well, may have been a man, because whenever a man, or even my teenage brother or cousins come over, the dog runs away and hides under my bed. That does not usually happen when women come over.

I feel so bad for him, but I can’t really not have any men or older boys at my house. I keep thinking about if I start seeing someone and he wants to spend time at my place.

What do I do with my nervous doggie? --- MY DOG HIDES A LOT

DEAR MY DOG HIDES A LOT: I think this is something to bring to the attention of your dog’s veterinarian. They may have suggestions to help relieve your new pet’s anxiety around men. They could also perhaps refer you to an experienced trainer or other dog handling professional who’s knowledgeable about these kinds of adjustment issues in rescued animals.

By the way, I’m glad you went for a pound puppy. Giving a dog a new and loving home is a wonderful thing to do. I hope it all works out for you and your new pet.