DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I work at a family-owned and operated company. This summer the boss’s daughter started working in my department. She had had an internship lined up in New York City, and that didn’t work out so well, so she was given an entry level job here in her parents’ company.

She is just a couple years younger than me, and we have been hitting it off at work. We have lunch together two or three times a week, and it turns out we have a lot in common. Her boyfriend even went to school with my boyfriend, and although they weren’t close, they know a lot of the same people.

I would like to be friends with her, but there are stories circulating that she goes to her parents with stories about the people who work for them. I have no first-hand knowledge of that happening, and I am suspicious that some people are just resentful and paranoid about having one of the owners’ kids around.

Personally, I get a good vibe from her, but do I risk hanging around with her more, in case something slips out about work, the kind of thing you would talk about to a coworker, but not the boss’s daughter? --- WORKING WITH THE BOSS’S DAUGHTER

DEAR WORKING WITH THE BOSS’S DAUGHTER: In any work situation, it’s a good policy to think first, speak second. You never want something that reflects ill on you getting back to the boss. This would most certainly be the case if there’s any truth to the rumors that what happens in the office is carried back to the owners via their daughter.

Another possible complication with making friends with a family member of the owners is that coworkers could see you as a protected pet, which might raise issues for you beyond having to always monitor what you say.

This feels like a case where it’s best to keep some distance on a personal front until you get to know her better in the context of work. It’s entirely possible she has no interest in tattling on coworkers, and in time, everything you have in common may well be a good foundation for a friendship.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband is good at making some repairs around the house, but there are some jobs he just wants to get done as quickly as possible, not necessarily the best way possible. Over the course of the past couple of years, some of his “repairs” ended up costing us much more than they should have because we have to call in a professional to undo what he’s done wrong.

For instance, he decided to redo the powder room. It was part of an addition to our house one of the previous owners put on, and when they did it, as we found out, they did not do the work to code. So, when my husband started stripping out the original fixtures, he hit some weird plumbing issues that were beyond his knowing how to fix. Three weeks and a very expensive plumber bill later, the situation was fixed. And now, he is talking about trying to redo the kitchen with just the two of us.

Like I say, he often knows what he is doing, but how do I convince him to lay off the jobs beyond his abilities and patience levels, like I am sure a kitchen remodel would be? --- WIFE OF A WOULD-BE-FIX-IT-UP MAN

DEAR WIFE OF A WOULD-BE-FIX-IT-UP MAN: There’s something to be said for your husband’s initial motives, but I agree with you that knowing his own limits would very likely end up saving you time, money, and aggravation in the long run.

It could help make your case if you check around with friends or relatives who have recently done a kitchen remodel using professionals. This will at least give you a potential pool of contractors to contact if you decide to get some quotes or, in the worst case, professionals waiting in the wings, should they be needed.

Another thing you might work with your husband on is exploring piecemeal renovations that the two of you can readily tackle. Restaining or repainting your existing cabinets, replacing countertops, or just repainting the room are relatively straightforward rehab projects that can refresh and upgrade the look of your kitchen economically, and, if done right, without putting it out of commission for the duration of the job.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Not wanting to freeload, I suggested that my mom charge me rent. She seemed surprised, and said she’d get back to me on that. Later, she appeared in a rather formal outfit, and said she was now my landlady. She spelled out my rental rate and terms; it was higher than I had planned on, but she conveyed such an air of authority that I didn’t argue.

Later, when she was back to her normal self, I told her the rate was too high. She stepped out and returned as the “landlady,” and asked what the problem was. I explained that the rate was more than I could afford; she told me I could either pay it or find somewhere else to live.

I decided to forget about rent and hoped my mom would also. However, I have now received notices of late rent and eviction.

Not caring to interact with her alter-ego, I haven’t tried to talk with my mom about this. She is normally loving and supportive, but I’m afraid she will transform into the “landlady” and kick me out, or possibly sue me for the rent and late fees I already owe.

Should I pass my mom a note explaining that I love her, but I don't like her alter-ego, and I can’t afford the rate she is trying to charge me? I would have trouble finding another place to live, and I regret ever mentioning rent. Anything else I should include? --- THE “LANDLADY’S” KID

DEAR THE “LANDLADY’S” KID: I’m speculating that this alter ego approach is your mom’s way of letting you know you can have her be your mom, or you can have her be your landlady, but she isn’t inclined to be both. She may also be trying to teach you a lesson about the necessity of sticking to the terms of an agreement, even when you find yourself in over your head. A third potential scenario is she’s giving you a not-so-subtle nudge toward getting a place of your own.

I think you originally did the right thing in offering to pay some kind of rent. Where you might have gone wrong was not negotiating hard enough for a financial arrangement you could easily manage — another life lesson, courtesy your mother.

Perhaps it’s now your turn to play a little hardball back, and renegotiate the terms of your tenancy in her house. You could try slipping “Mom” a note pleading your case, but you may have more success putting together a formal, well-thought-out counterproposal addressed to the “Landlady.”