DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I had a really good run financially. I made some fabulous moves day trading and had an unusually long and successful run of luck.
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Then I made some bad moves and I lost over half what I had built up. There were also some bad real estate investments. All this meant I can no longer afford to live the lifestyle I was, and can no longer have the “party pad” or the boat or the money to fly friends in to see me.
For the past three months I have barely heard from any of my friends and have gotten together with fewer than I have heard from.
I am feeling like I was being used by these people, some of them I grew up with.
My boyfriend, who has been my rock, says maybe they just feel awkward and don’t want to make things weird. I am not so sure.
Are they just uncomfortable because of my new situation or is it really that they don’t want to know me since they can no longer get anything out of me? --- FEELING DITCHED
DEAR FEELING DITCHED: Not knowing your friends and the relationships you’ve had with them in the past it’s not possible for me to give you a definitive answer. Both you and your boyfriend raise potential motives for your friends’ absences. My guess is there’s likely a little bit of both things going on.
For now, enjoy the strength and support of your boyfriend and those friends who are reaching out to you, even if only periodically. Those are the people who’ll likely prove themselves true friends, not just fair weather companions.