DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband’s oldest brother became a Jehovah’s Witness when he was in his mid-twenties. He was raised a Methodist, and almost everyone else in the family, including us, still keeps to that tradition.

When we get together with his family, which is rarely, our kids are fascinated how their cousins don’t observe Halloween or Christmas or even birthdays. And in return, their cousins ask them questions (usually when their parents can’t hear them) about what we do at our house, especially for Christmas.

This year I wanted to have our kids, ages 8 and 12, give their cousins some little something in the spirit of Christmas. They ask every year why they give and get gifts from all their other cousins. They told me they really want to include my brother-in-law’s kids, even though they know they won’t get anything in return.

My husband said he isn’t sure this is a good idea, but I think it is. Do you think it’s a good or a bad idea? --- IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

DEAR IN THE christmas spirit: Even though it’s nice your children want to include their cousins in their celebration of Christmas, I think it’s also important to respect your brother-in-law’s family’s beliefs and practices and refrain from giving the young cousins Christmas gifts.

If your children are open to the idea, they can donate what they would have given to their cousins to an organization that collects items to be distributed to children in need during the holidays such as a local church or Toys For Tots.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I don’t really care about my roommate hooking up with whoever she wants. But I do hate the fact that almost every weekend I wake up at least one of the mornings to a complete stranger hanging out in the kitchen going through the cabinets looking for food or hogging our one bathroom

It grosses me out that these people I don’t know ‒ and neither does my roommate, really ‒ are using our bathroom, my stuff, and taking away time from me in the kitchen and bathroom.

I always have to keep my bedroom door locked and learned the hard way to not leave anything of mine out in the living room or kitchen because I had stuff disappear after one of her “guests” left.

It gets even weirder when my boyfriend comes to stay with me for the weekend. He finds the whole thing as creepy as I do, and he told my roommate he feels like I am unsafe with the strangers being around.

Other than this one thing, I get along with my roommate really well. She’s a nice girl, but she does not seem to think anything is wrong with having all these people in our home.

I still have another full semester to get through on this lease after the winter break. I don’t think I will renew for next year with her as my roommate, but what do I do for the rest of the time I am stuck in this situation? --- TOO MANY “GUESTS”

DEAR TOO MANY “GUESTS”: I understand your unease. It sounds like you’ve taken precautions to keep your possessions reasonably safe, but I too would be uncomfortable having a steady stream of strangers passing through my home.

You mentioned that your boyfriend has spoken to her, but you need to be the one to have a very serious conversation with your roommate about your entirely reasonable concerns. You pay your share of the rent and are entitled to feel both safe and comfortable in your apartment.

Perhaps you and your roommate could establish some ground rules regarding visitors. For instance, if it’s a weekend your boyfriend’s in town, she would refrain from bringing in her own overnight guests; and should any of those guests use something belonging to you, your roommate becomes responsible for replacing it.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Before my dad even met his fiancée, Sophie, he and my mom were already separated and just waiting for their divorce to go through. He was not even living in our house. But my mom keeps telling people my dad left her and the rest of us for Sophie. She tells people Sophie is a cougar and stuff like that. None of it is true.

I like Sophie a lot. She is only three years older than my dad and works in a middle school as a special ed assistant. She is so good with my little brother, who is on the spectrum, and usually doesn’t do well with new people. And she really clicks with my dad, who is not the most social guy in the world.

Sophie never says bad things about my mom, at least not when I can hear, but my mom is so mean about Sophie every chance she gets, no matter who is around to hear. We have fought over how she is about Sophie, and I have learned not to even bring her up around my mom, which is hard because my mom and I are really close and usually talk about everything.

Should I just let Mom’s trash talk go and continue not mentioning Sophie at all around her, or should I stick up for Sophie, which only gets Mom madder, but would make me feel like I’m doing the right thing? --- I LIKE SOPHIE

DEAR I LIKE SOPHIE: Your mother has certainly put you in an awkward position.

Since Sophie is going to be your stepmother and you clearly appreciate the sort of person she is, I believe it’s not at all inappropriate for you to defend her against your mother’s attacks.

However, nobody benefits from an endless argument. I think you should be prepared to have one last showdown with your mom over her verbally attacking Sophie. You could let her know you don’t intend to change your feelings for either woman, and that you will avoid going out of your way to mention Sophie in front of your mom on the condition that she does the same.