DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my older brother told our parents he was taking a gap year between high school and college they weren’t thrilled, but they went along with it. Turns out he found a great job he really liked during that gap year and never went on to college. Last year he used his college savings fund to put a downpayment on a house, which also made my parents nuts, but which I thought was a smart move.

I have been telling my parents I also want to take a gap year after I graduate high school this spring. I’m in an IB (international baccalaureate) program and will also be taking four AP tests in May. I have been doing extremely well so far this school year and am confident I will earn the AP credits. Besides which, I will be leaving high school with an IB degree. All of this means I will have basically done at least my first year of college by the time I graduate high school.

Because my brother never went to college, my parents say I can’t take a gap year. They seem to forget that I am very different from my brother and fully intend to attend and graduate from college. I just need a break, and I think I have earned one these last three and a half years.

I have already had early acceptance decisions to my two top picks. One of them told me there is no problem with a gap year deferment, and the other said they would make a final decision on a deferment when they see my final semester grades.

What can I do to convince my parents I am going to go to college? I just need a break. --- NEED A BREAK

DEAR NEED A BREAK: IB programs are famously demanding, and you’ve done well to succeed in one thus far. It’s not difficult to see that you’d likely benefit from some time off before diving into college.

Hopefully when you’re discussing your plans with your parents you’re offering some specifics on what you’re looking to accomplish during your time out of school, how you’re going to afford it, and precisely how you intend to get back on track with your studies after your batteries are recharged.

Giving them a clear outline of your gameplan might help them understand your continued commitment to your education.

One thing you will want to investigate if you haven’t yet is what happens to any scholarships or financial aid packages that are part of your early decision offers. Your parents could rightly be concerned that by asking for an admissions deferment you’ll possibly lose critical funding, which would naturally play into their reluctance to green light your gap year.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know our parents had a lot, a lot of problems in their marriage, so none of us were surprised when they got divorced. My sister and I were honestly relieved because we could see how miserable they were together.

What we didn’t know until our grandmother told us was that what caused the final breakup was our dad having an affair with the woman he is now married to. When we first met her, our father told us he had known her for about 20 years, but we thought they didn’t start going together until sometime after the divorce.

Our grandmother knows our new stepmother a long time too and told us she had run through a lot of men, some of them married like our dad.

This got us thinking that if she cheated with our dad while he was still married to our mom, what will keep her from cheating on our dad too? --- NOT A GOOD THOUGHT

DEAR NOT A GOOD THOUGHT: I’m guessing that if your father has known his new wife for a long time, it’s likely he has an idea that she’s had relationships with other men.

While it’s natural to be concerned about his future happiness, your worrying about what may or may not happen within his marriage won't accomplish anything except perhaps set up a tension between you and your new stepmother, and by extension your father.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our youngest son still lives at home with my wife and me. He pays us rent and helps around the house whenever we need him to, so no complaints there. He saved up for a new car and decided to go with a Chevy EV. It’s a nice little SUV, but now he wants to put in a charging station here at our house. He knows we need a heavy up of our old house’s original electrical panel. He told us he would cover all the costs of the charger itself, including running a 240 outlet line out to the garage so he can put the charger in there. He said he was willing to cover half the cost of the heavy up, saying we would also benefit from the upgrade and we would have to probably do one anyway before we could sell our house if we decided to in the future.

I think it is a reasonable proposal, but my wife thinks if he wants the charger he needs to pay for everything that goes with it, including the full cost of the heavy up. She is also not thrilled with having a lithium battery being parked and recharged in our attached garage.

I can see points in what they each have to say, but how do we break the tie? I don’t want to be the one to do it. --- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: The question that first comes to my mind is whether or not you had any intention of upgrading your electrical panel anytime soon. If not, then while I see your son’s point about mutual benefit, if you hadn’t planned for or budgeted for the expense right now, it’s an improvement that primarily only serves his purpose.

I think the three of you need to sit down and weigh the liabilities against the gains involved in your son’s scheme beyond the initial costs, including reasonable safety issues, and the inevitably higher electric bills and who’ll be responsible for those.

After covering all sides of your son’s proposal, if your wife doesn’t change her mind, then I’m afraid you’re stuck being the tiebreaker. At least you’ll hopefully have enough information to make a sound decision.