DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When I started in pharmaceutical sales it was because I thought it was a good use of my BS in biology and I have a desire to help make life better for people. Even my parents warned me I was being an idealist. I really don’t mind. I am good at what I do and am lucky to work for a company with a solid reputation and strong track record.

There was a guy I used to run up against from another pharma company who we literally called “The Shark” because of how hard he sold his company’s product. That company currently has major legal issues and now this guy is one of my coworkers. Since he got here the vibe in sales has totally changed.

This guy is pushing into not only his old company’s territories, which he was obviously brought in to do, but is starting to poach existing clients from others of us in sales. What we sometimes hear coming out of his mouth is hard to believe. He will say or do anything to close even a small deal.

We know he’s impressing our VP, but the rest of us say at what cost to the company’s reputation and our commissions?

Doesn’t management see that the short-term gains could hurt our company in the long-run when some of his tactics backfire? --- A SHARK IN THE TANK

DEAR A SHARK IN THE TANK: Companies are in business to thrive, and it sounds like your new fellow salesperson is helping yours do just that, which makes it unlikely management will find fault with his tactics so long as he continues to help their bottom line.

I can imagine how discouraging his behavior is to you and the other members of the sales staff who continue to keep true to what you see as the mission and philosophy of the company.

The new guy may misstep at some point, but in the meantime, don’t feel you need to become more like him to be successful. At the end of the day, you should measure your success by your own standards, not those of others.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my father got remarried I was happy for him. I only met my new stepmother a few times before the wedding and she seemed OK. My Dad had been alone for years and it seemed like a normal thing to want to be with someone.

Now I have got to know my stepmother I know she is a horrible person in many ways. She has pushed a wedge between me and Dad and my sister told me it is the same with her and our father.

Not only is this woman horrible but she has a daughter six years younger than me and she is as much of a bi#ch as her mother, maybe even more of one based on what she has shown every time I have had to be around her.

I love my Dad and don’t want to cut him out of my life, but I don’t think I can take being around his new wife and stepdaughter from hell.

The last time I had dinner with my Dad I told him that I am not comfortable with his new family and he took it hard.

Did I make a mistake telling him how I feel? --- HURT HIS FEELINGS

DEAR HURT HIS FEELINGS: Whether it was right or wrong is a moot point since your conversation with your dad is in the past. You were honest with him, and although what you had to say hurt him, he now knows how you feel about his new wife and stepdaughter.

Hopefully you’ll be able to work through your resentments and find ways to still have time with your father. It’s most likely not easy for him to find himself caught between his two families, so having some support from you and your sister might make a big difference for him, especially if down the road he comes to a conclusion similar to yours about the new women in his life.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Just after the first of the year, my neighbor and dear friend’s daughter and son-in-law had a courthouse wedding to save money. They followed it up with a nice family and close friends party held at a picnic shelter in a local park. Everyone had a great time.

Being like second parents to the bride, we gave them a generous cash gift at the time. They put it towards some expenses they had in the house they had just bought.

Now, the couple has decided to have a big, formal wedding later this year. My friend tells me it is going to be the full-out affair, with a sit-down dinner, DJ, and the works. I have been to the venue for other weddings, and it is beautiful.

I am glad the couple is having what I guess was always their real dream wedding if that’s what they always wanted. What I am not at all sure about is what do we give them this time around. They have a house, went on a honeymoon, and both have good jobs. As a matter of fact, my friend told me they are mostly paying for the wedding.

I feel we can’t show up with no gift, but we already gave them a big gift at the first wedding party.

What do you think is appropriate to do for the couple’s second wedding? --- SECOND WEDDING, SAME COUPLE

DEAR SECOND WEDDING, SAME COUPLE: I honestly don’t think you need to go big at all this time around. It’s possible the couple isn’t expecting any gift from you beyond having you as part of their formal celebration.

If, however, you still feel you’d like to do a little something for them, perhaps you could give them a small, sentimental gift that is inexpensive but would mean something to the couple.

Another option is simply a card with a heartfelt personal message written in it.