DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were recently invited to a wedding, and we promptly returned our RSVP indicating we would be attending the wedding and dinner.

At the last minute, my husband found out he would not be able to make it to the dinner. Since I did not feel comfortable going alone, and knowing that two meals had been paid for, I brought my 24-year-old daughter in his place. Our friends who were hosting the reception were most gracious about it. My daughter left shortly after the meal when my husband arrived.

Was this proper etiquette? I'm sure other families have found themselves in similar situations. -- C.L., MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR C.L.: Your question was not addressed in any of the etiquette books I consulted; however, I do not think you committed a breach of etiquette. Because your RSVP indicated that two individuals would attend the dinner and your daughter is an adult, your hosts did not have to make any adjustments in order to accommodate her. A further courtesy would have been to telephone the hosts (if they were reachable) and let them know your change in plans.

DEAR ABBY: Several weeks ago at work, while on our coffee break, "Sarah" mentioned to me and three other women that her nephew had published a book of poems in some kind of fancy script writing. The nephew was asking $15 for the book. Sarah said she knew we could all afford it. I told her I just wasn't interested in poetry and knew it would end up cluttering my home.

Later, Sarah came by my desk and loudly informed me that when I didn't purchase the book, the other three women also turned it down. She said that because we were such good friends, I should have purchased it "just to be nice," and she would have done as much for me. Now she's no longer speaking to me.

Was I obligated to buy the book, even though I didn't want it? What are your thoughts on this, Abby? -- POETIC JUSTICE, PLEASE

DEAR POETIC JUSTICE: Sarah was taking advantage of all of you. You were under no obligation to purchase the book, and neither were your co-workers. Many employers have policies against interoffice soliciting to protect employees from such awkward situations.

DEAR ABBY: I can't think of a better way to get the word out to the various radio stations across America than to write a letter to you and have you publish it.

I would be most grateful if you would alert them to the fact that their call letters mean absolutely nothing to travelers on their way through their listening area. My husband and I travel a lot, and while crossing the United States, we often turn on the radio to get weather forecasts. When the radio stations don't identify which city they are broadcasting from, we have no idea whether they are in the vicinity or in another state.

I suggest that all radio personnel, when giving out their call letters, also indicate the city from which they are broadcasting. Thank you, Abby. -- JEANETTE WATSON, AUBURN, N.H.

DEAR JEANETTE WATSON: Thanks for an excellent suggestion. Vacationers traveling by automobile will bless you.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have three grown children between the ages of 30 and 40. This past Mother's Day, I received no card or gift from any of them. Oh, one child finally left a message on my answering machine late in the evening after I had given up hope and gone to bed. (I found it the next morning.)

My heartache increased with every hour of Mother's Day, and in the days that followed when I looked in vain in my mailbox for a belated card and waited for my phone to ring with a call of apology.

I admit I haven't been a perfect mother, but I think I am worthy of being acknowledged on Mother's Day. From the time they were born, I have given my children -- and their children -- my love and support and have always remembered them on their special days.

Although my heartache has diminished, I cringe at the thought of facing another Mother's Day, and yet I don't want to chastise them for ignoring me because I would never know if future remembrances were done only out of a sense of duty.

Abby, do you have any words of wisdom to comfort me? -- IGNORED MOTHER

DEAR IGNORED MOTHER: Sorry, I have no words of wisdom to comfort you, but I do have a question: How do your children treat you the other 364 days of the year?

DEAR ABBY: About May or June of each year, people begin to receive graduation invitations from nieces, nephews, grandnephews and grandnieces they have rarely seen and with whom they have had no communication whatsoever.

Well, what I do may not be right, but I write the graduates a letter to let them know that I am pleased with their status, and state that I wish I had the opportunity to know them better and hope they will make an effort to stay in touch with me in the future.

I send no gift, no check -- nothing but my congratulations. Abby, what do you and your readers have to say about how I handle the situation? -- IGNORED IN FLORIDA

DEAR IGNORED: I think you handle the situation admirably in view of the circumstances.

DEAR ABBY: Many people write to you complaining about receiving catalogs in the mail. They call it "junk mail."

I disagree. I'm an older woman and don't drive. If I want to shop locally, one of my children has to drive me, then wait until I get my shopping done. I hate to inconvenience them, so I shop through catalogs for birthday and Christmas gifts, clothing, shoes, even fishing gear. That way, I can shop at my leisure, compare prices and find items that are otherwise impossible to find. I love catalogs. You may use my name. -- ELIZABETH MC GREW IN RENO, NEV.

DEAR ELIZABETH MC GREW: You are not alone. Many readers have written to say that catalogs are the answer to their prayers. Small wonder that catalogs are now a multibillion-dollar business.

DEAR ABBY: My wife's aunt and uncle were married for 46 years; then they divorced. Neither remarried during the next four years. They then decided that their divorce was a mistake, so they remarried and have been married for the past four years.

They now want to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Can they? Should they?

Some relatives think it's a great idea, but a few others think that because their 50 years of marriage have not been continuous, they do not qualify for this honor.

Abby, what do you and your readers think? -- NO CITY OR STATE, PLEASE

DEAR NO CITY: I think they should go ahead and celebrate their 50th.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I wrote you some time ago, asking for your help because a girl I had been dating was pressuring me to introduce her to my father as my girlfriend. Actually, it was a little more complicated than that. I am bisexual, and she wasn't the only person I had been seeing. I had been wanting to tell my father about my bisexuality, but I was afraid I would lose him if I came out to him. Two days before your letter arrived, my girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't make the introduction.

Thank you for your very sound advice. I took it and called PFLAG. I explained what was happening in my life and my fear about what would happen if my father found out I was "bi." Well, a counselor talked to me at length about what happened when his son came out to him. He told me that because of the closeness my father and I share, I had nothing to fear. He advised me to come out to my father as soon as possible. I took the advice and had a little talk with Dad, and you know what? The counselor was right; my father had known I was bisexual since I was 13.

If I had just talked with Dad years ago instead of running away, it would have saved me a lot of pain and heartache.

Please print my letter along with PFLAG's phone number and address. My experience could be very helpful to some other young person out there. You may use my name. -- ROBIN

DEAR ROBIN: I'm pleased to print your letter. I'm gratified not only that PFLAG was helpful to you, but also that I'm able to remind readers about this worthwhile organization.

PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) was founded in 1981. Since then, its affiliates have grown to include chapters in more than 390 communities and all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and 11 foreign countries. Its mission: To promote the health and well-being of gays, lesbians and bisexual persons, their families and friends through support, education and advocacy -- to end discrimination and secure equal civil rights. PFLAG provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.

PFLAG chapters provide the welcoming support of families and friends at local meetings, quarterly newsletters, invitations to local, regional and national events and conferences, opportunities to act against homophobia, and up-to-date information.

PFLAG is a tax-exempt, nonprofit 501(c)3 organization that is not affiliated with any political or religious institution. For information about a chapter in your area, write to PFLAG, 1101 14th St. N.W., Suite 1030, Washington, D.C. 20005; or call 1-202-638-4200.

PFLAG has my unqualified endorsement.

DEAR ABBY: Am I the only one who's irritated by the noise from leaf blowers?

I can understand using power lawn mowers, but my neighbors now use leaf blowers, too. They're oblivious as they put on their headphones and happily blow leaves and grass from one spot to another for hours -- usually on weekend mornings. What a racket!

I wish they'd consider the noise pollution when they're looking at motorized equipment for use in residential neighborhoods. Our cities are noisy enough. Why not use a broom and get some exercise at the same time? -- AN-NOISED IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR AN-NOISED: I suspect you're not the only one. Some communities are considering legislation to prevent leaf blowers from becoming major annoyances. It could be a battle royal because more than a few people would rather fight than give up this labor-saving device.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)