DEAR ABBY: For some time now, an adult neighbor I'll call "Greta" has been meeting her lovers on our street. She lives a couple of blocks over, but she apparently doesn't want her teen-agers to see her meeting these men. She and her dates arrive separately, then join each other in one car and don't drive away until some deep kissing and partial disrobing have gone on. I thought Greta was a prostitute until I found out where she lives.

It is embarrassing to walk out in our front yard and come upon this scene. I have been tempted to call the police several times, but my wife keeps telling me to mind my own business. She says you never can tell what Greta's story might be, so I haven't called.

Recently I heard that she had divorced her husband, and the episodes seemed to stop. It hasn't been long, though, and the car-hopping has started again. Greta may be protecting her own teen-agers by meeting her boyfriends on our street, but she sure gives the young children and teens on my block a great show. I am fed up, and even my wife now says to go ahead and do what I want.

I think Greta needs help. I'm hoping you'll print my letter so she will recognize herself and stop this before I call the police. -- CONCERNED IN OCEANSIDE, N.Y.

DEAR CONCERNED: A more straightforward way to handle the problem would be to write your neighbor a letter warning her that if she continues necking with her boyfriends on your street, the residents will have no choice but to report her to the police.

She and her partners are at the very least guilty of poor judgment, and an arrest for lewd conduct would be embarrassing for all parties concerned.

Let's hope she wakes up before someone files a formal police report.

DEAR ABBY: You asked your readers to add to your collection of random acts of kindness. Perhaps you will be interested in mine:

I have multiple sclerosis and am unable to feed myself. I have an aide on weekdays, and on the weekends the wonderful women from my swim group come to assist me.

I have never talked about my illness or my limitations, although they are progressively more apparent in the swimming pool, shower room and dressing room. One day, a member of my swimming group approached me and asked if I could use any help. When I answered yes, she organized other willing helpers from the group who have consistently signed their names to a schedule and show up to help.

Such generosity is not what one would expect from the many reports of violence, rudeness and disrespect that fill the media. When I thank these generous people, they thank me for "allowing" them to help me. I consider myself fortunate to have experienced so much that is wonderful about the human race. -- SUSAN CLAUER, ANN ARBOR, MICH.

DEAR SUSAN: The most precious gift we can give to others is the gift of ourselves. Your swimming group should call themselves the "floating angels."

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: Yesterday I printed some of the many responses to the letter from "Mateless in Milwaukee," whose husband was obsessed with football. Today I'll share more of the excellent letters I received:

DEAR ABBY: When I met my husband, he, too, filled his time with sports events six days a week. My interest in sports was limited.

After we had dated a while, I asked him to compromise by leaving two nights a week free for me. When we became more serious, he voluntarily gave up a third night of his sports activities. When we got married, he cut down a bit more, and after we bought our house he cut down even more. After 13 years of marriage, my husband is still very interested in sports -- but his priorities are different.

However, I have done some serious compromising myself: When he participated in sports, I would go along to watch. I learned the names of the teams and what cities they were from. We used to play a trivia game where he'd name a city and I would name all the teams that played there. Today I read or do crafts in the living room while he watches games or listens to sports news, and I have learned a lot more about players and strategy than I ever thought I'd want to know.

You can't expect a sports nut to give up sports completely. I still know not to talk during the sports analysis on ESPN. Think of it this way: At least it's not wine, women or song. -- LEARNED TO LOVE IT

DEAR ABBY: Having recently wrestled with the same problem as "Mateless," I can give you some specifics:

1. Her husband's sports obsession is a poorly disguised attempt to limit intimacy of all kinds other than what his needs dictate.

2. His sports addiction is stealing from you and your marriage.

3. This is a gambling addict masquerading as an all-American guy enjoying an all-American pastime.

4. Save your breath. If you mean it -- leave. Nothing short of that will get his attention.

My husband, a "wonderful guy," got lost in the same maze. He always defended himself intellectually, but after more than five years of fights, dishonesty and empty promises, I had had it. A second-class life was not a reflection of my worth, and my self-esteem was suffering.

I changed the locks and demanded counseling. We both went, but separately. I had to rebuild my shattered self-esteem. He also joined Gamblers Anonymous. We have been happily married for more than 20 years. It took a lot of work, but now we have many activities that we enjoy together.

It wasn't easy, but there is life beyond sports. -- WIFE OF A RECOVERING SPORTS JUNKIE

DEAR ABBY: Please share our advice with "Mateless in Milwaukee" and her husband. (We were in the same boat when we first married.)

TO THE HUSBAND: Cut back one league. Have a separate phone line for your football messages. Make football fun for your wife -- get the guys and their wives to meet at a nice sports restaurant on Sundays and watch the game over pizza and beer.

Take a road trip with another couple to see a game: get a hotel, have a tailgate picnic, sightsee, etc.

TO THE WIFE: Buy his team T-shirt and wear it on game day. Learn about his favorite players and discuss them with him. Place small wagers with him. Encourage Sunday sports outings with other couples. Take turns with other couples hosting game parties.

TO BOTH: Go out of your way to make your marriage fun for each other.

We did all of the above and we're ... HAPPY IN CHESAPEAKE BEACH

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from "Mateless in Milwaukee" whose husband was a football fanatic. I just ended a 21-year marriage to a sports nut.

At first I thought it was a nice pastime, but soon our lives revolved around sports events. We rarely went anywhere for a vacation for fear he'd miss a football, baseball or basketball game on TV, or it might interfere with his softball or hockey schedule.

All social events were sports-related. Whenever we were in the car, he insisted the radio be turned to a game. Conversation was allowed only during commercials. Once, when we finally went on a "family vacation," he drove us three hours out of our way to watch a hockey game. If I complained, he accused me of being a "poor sport."

When we got cable with ESPN, I knew I was a single parent. Of course, I'd been a single parent for years and couldn't admit it. He has no friends other than his football, softball, hockey or basketball teammates.

Our children have only a mild interest in sports, and the ones who aren't athletic have little to talk to their father about. After a while, I cultivated friends, interests and a life that had nothing to do with him. I quit asking him to do things with me. I had plenty of time to pursue other interests -- every Sunday and Monday nights, and any other time there was a sporting event.

I thought I could change him, interest him in other things, create a more balanced time for recreation. I was wrong. You can't change anyone. I should have left years ago, but waited until the children were grown.

I am happier now than I've been for many years. My advice to that young wife in Milwaukee is: Get out now, before there are children and before you resent scheduling your life around sports. Our culture supports and encourages more dedication to sports than to marriage and family. The next relationship I have will be based on mutual interests. Sign me ... NEVER WANTS TO HEAR THE SCORE AGAIN

DEAR NEVER: It takes two people working together to make a marriage work. The letter from "Mateless in Milwaukee" struck a nerve with many readers. I received a mountain of mail from people who wanted to comment. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You forgot to mention one very important option to "Mateless in Milwaukee" regarding her husband's football obsession. You should have suggested that she try to share what is apparently a very important part of his life.

Learn about the game; help with the football league activity and host some game-day parties. Get creative with food ideas in which everyone can participate. Ask the guys to bring their wives/girlfriends along. This way you can socialize in another room or everyone can watch the game together.

Ask your husband to explain the game -- and there are plenty of books available to help you learn the fundamentals. Maybe I'm a bit prejudiced because I've always enjoyed football, but cuddling with my husband on a Sunday afternoon while watching a game is heaven to me.

A couple who shares each other's passion will score touchdowns instead of incomplete passes. -- SOARING HIGH IN EAGLES' COUNTRY

DEAR SOARING: Many couples wrote suggesting that "Mateless" join the party. Others, however, felt that more balance was needed in the relationship. Since that letter generated such a tremendous number of letters, tomorrow I'll print more of them.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)