DEAR ABBY: My mother married when she was 15. She had six children. When she was 36, she got a divorce and announced that it was time she lived her life as she saw fit.

Mom always kept herself in great physical condition. For the last two years she has been dating a man who is 33 years her junior. Mom's son is four years younger than her boyfriend! This repulses me. I do not want my younger children around such craziness.

This part I can handle, but my siblings are planning a family reunion this summer. I have not seen some of my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews for six years. My mother plans to attend this reunion with her young lover. I believe it is totally inappropriate to flaunt her carefree lifestyle in the presence of these young people.

I don't know how to handle this. If Mom insists on bringing her boyfriend, my husband refuses to go. Please help me. -- ASHAMED AND HEARTBROKEN

DEAR ASHAMED: If your husband refuses to attend the family reunion because your mother and her young boyfriend will be there, tell him you'll miss him.

As adults, your mother and her boyfriend are entitled to make their own decisions. "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

DEAR ABBY: In reference to an article titled "Lawyer's Courtroom Goofs Are Good for a Laugh," which recently appeared in your column, I was reminded of a church bulletin that had our congregation in stitches one Sunday morning. I'm not sure where it originated. Our pastor announced at the beginning of the service to be sure to read the back of the bulletin before he began his sermon so that he would not think our laughter was directed at the sermon itself. -- LISA SPRADLING, FULTONVILLE, ALA.

DEAR LISA: Thank you for the day-brightener. It's certainly worth sharing:

"Most people don't realize how much editing goes into producing a church bulletin or newsletter. Some announcements have to be completely rewritten because if they appeared the way they were submitted, it would lead to total confusion. Below are some examples:

" -- Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

" -- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

" -- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

" -- This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Martin to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

" -- Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet may come forward and do so.

" -- A 'Bean Supper' will be held next Sunday evening in the fellowship hall. Special music will follow.

" -- At the evening service tonight, the topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

" -- The flower on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Hunter, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Hunter.

" -- The United Methodist Women have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the church basement this Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m."

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I read in a newspaper that a poll was taken in which 1,500 people were asked if they could quote the Ten Commandments. Only a few could come up with three, or four at the most. Many of those questioned said there was no way they could remember all of them.

Abby, will you please print the Ten Commandments? You may use my name. -- LINDEL SEXTON, OCEANSIDE, CALIF.

DEAR LINDEL: According to the Book of Exodus in the Old Testament, the Ten Commandments were given to the Israelite leader Moses on Mount Sinai. They are as follows:

1. I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord, thy God, in vain.

4. Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy.

5. Honor thy father and thy mother.

6. Thou shalt not kill.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

8. Thou shalt not steal.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house; thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letter from Mr. Harry C. Williams Jr. of Nashville, Tenn., who refuses to shake hands with people he visits in the hospital for fear of transmitting germs.

As a professional health-care chaplain in a hospital setting, I too am very conscious of the spread of infection through person-to-person contact. However, studies have shown that people are starving for the caring touch of another human being. An appropriate touch such as a gentle handshake, or holding the hand of someone who is ill can be healing to that person.

Frequent hand washing is a must for anyone who touches others, especially in a hospital or other health-care facility, but to forgo all contact of skin with skin is not conducive to the healing of the spirit, which is vital to overall good health.

So let's continue touching as appropriate, and practice good hand-washing techniques. -- CHAPLAIN BOB BURNS, FLORIDA HOSPITAL WATERMAN, EUSTIS, FLA.

DEAR CHAPLAIN BURNS: I was touched by the number of health-care professionals who wrote to defend the practice of gently holding the hand of a person in a health-care facility. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: While it may be true that inadequate hand-washing is a common cause of spreading infection, this should not prevent visitors or doctors from shaking or holding a patient's hand.

Most patients feel isolated, and denying them what little physical contact they receive is not the answer. A far better solution would be to touch the patient, then wash your hands before touching your face, or another patient.

Patients would rather see you wash your hands after a visit than be treated as an untouchable. -- A HEALTH-CARE WORKER IN COLUMBIA, S.C.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: I literally bumped into a very good-looking guy (I'll call him TLC) at the corner grocery store one afternoon last February. We hit it off from the moment we met. After a few dates, I asked him to move in with me and he accepted.

I own the home that we share and I'm financially stable. I don't need a roommate to meet my financial obligations. I pay the mortgage and TLC buys the groceries.

Things went well for a couple of months; then he lost his job and has been self-employed since, although his work is not steady.

Lately TLC has become very temperamental. We haven't been intimate since July. He says he feels inadequate because he isn't "part" of the household, yet he rarely follows through on chores he has promised to do. He also has a very annoying habit of changing his mind at the last minute when we've made social or travel plans.

Abby, I am very happy with my job and enjoy life in general, but this man's temperament and indifference to sex are driving me crazy.

We talk, but so far haven't resolved any issues. I've suggested counseling, but he's not interested.

Should I tell him to hit the road? -- NO TLC IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR NO TLC: It seems to me that you are giving far more than you are getting from this arrangement.

You are not married to this man, and nowhere do you say that you love him. Pack his bags and present him with a road map.

DEAR ABBY: "Torn in Olympia, Wash.," whose wife is in a nursing home suffering the devastation of Alzheimer's disease, doesn't need to walk in a marathon or join a support group. It's easy for others to tell someone else not to feel guilty. But the fact that his children, brothers and sisters are supportive is further reinforcement from those who matter that most will approve of his relationship with his female companion.

What an honorable man he is to continue his visits despite the fact that his wife no longer recognizes him. Nursing home visits are far more painful for the visitors than they are for the patients.

Please, "Torn," enjoy your twilight years. You have more than earned them. I am a firm believer in fate. If it weren't meant to be, your neighbor wouldn't have been this lovely lady who has lifted your spirits and made you feel alive again.

If your wife were able, she would surely give you a "two thumbs up"! -- P.C. IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR P.C.: I appreciate your compassionate attitude. However, many readers were far less charitable. I received a lot of criticism for my "liberal" attitude.

DEAR ABBY: I am a retired dentist and I sympathize with the dental hygienist who complained about patients coming to the office with dirty mouths. I have a suggestion that, used with diplomacy, would solve her problem as well as provide a better service for her patients.

Give them a toothbrush and some floss before, instead of after, their appointment and have them clean their mouths "like they do at home." Then she could point out any areas they may have missed, or compliment them on having done such a good job. -- EUGENE PRATTE, D.D.S., HUNTINGTON BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR DR. PRATTE: Thank you for an excellent suggestion. Have you considered a second career as a diplomat? You'd make a good one.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)